r/legalcatadvice • u/RAYV3N65 • 1d ago

Illegal Smol stole da toilet papers

321 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

74

u/ailathan Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago

Yuu iz smol, so derez no case agains yuu. Jus kip doin wut yur doin. Go crimez! What iz yur neim, fren? Mr Mixie

52

u/RAYV3N65 1d ago

Martini aka Marsquini

28

u/Mimidoo22 JnJ, agens & catagers to da stars! 1d ago

Iz lik hoodini

GO CRIMEZ LIL SMOL

Jango n Jazzy

17

u/Wild_Onion_5979 1d ago

OHH MAH GAH dat bery gud protec from da greebles my fren yoos mus gits extra treatos fur dat 😹 go crimez

47

u/Warm-Day8313 1d ago

Now blame de doggo dats behind you and you’ve committed da purrfect Crimez! Prairie Princess

31

u/KoenigseggCookie 1d ago

Couldn't be more proud🥇

31

u/rerun6977 1d ago

Vibio showz stinkeez doggo bitebites beezhinz youz....Moomie seez youz saben da udder paperz

INEZENT....

Moomie, Sisifer Satanz, dis myz viewb ofz crimez

24

u/Aggravating_Break_40 Member: ICBGC 1d ago

Glad to see yoo ober herez frum dat odder sub, calico fren!

GO CRIMEZ!

Lub,

Charli frum Down Under Landz

21

u/Fawn-Bettina-Human crimez expert in training 1d ago

Yuz illegal smol, no kort will convikt. Weź see yuz alzo do de biskut making onz it to soften it fur de hoomanz. If-in dey no pay yuz de required Cat Union wagez fur dis serbise, yuz kan sooooo fur wonz gazillion lickum treatos, furty bagz ob krunchy treatos, n' yuz choice ob elebenty new toyz.

Iz Fawn D Kat herez (Bettina luking at birbz)...N' GO CRIMEZ!

pspspspspsps Wez need to nose de name ob dis kitty dat cares 'bout deir hoomanzes' bortholez comfortz...

22

u/Cruisingpenguin Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago
  1. Youse eaglee smol, so no charges!
  2. Youse own da papers, so how hooman say youse do a steel?
  3. Youse so adorable!

You fren, Teddy teh Floof

Dis me say keep up great works!

14

u/missdawn1970 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago

OK, hooman is gonna try to pin dis on yu. Dey will say dey cawt yu red-pawed. But is sercumstanshul ebidence! Not admissible in court! Awl yu gotta do is gib dem deh blinkblink an deh purr. Add some air biskitts, an dey will furgit awl abowt deh shredded toilet paper.

9

u/sharkycharming Jennycat (void) & Cecilia (tortie) 1d ago

Also, you know wut dem hoominz do wif toilet paper? IT GOES ON DERE BUTT. Mek me laff every time. 😹

Love, Jennycat (void)

6

u/missdawn1970 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago

Ai noe, dey so gross!

11

u/Merryannm 1d ago

Go crimez! This is eggsellent!

Toulouse the big orange cat

12

u/gdb7 1d ago

Didn’t steal, it was trying to escape and cat stopped it and kept it there for you!

10

u/My-soul-was-yeeted Izzy and Toe Beans 1d ago

"if I sees is for mes" is cat law, of course! -Izzy and Toby

9

u/Rude-Spot-1719 Ai Maiself ❤️ 1d ago

Henlo fren Martini! Mai mommy no lets me in toilet paper room no more. Somefin bout poop incidents in tub? But ai remembers toilet paper is mortal enemy of cattos! We has to do big shred!

Squirrel, elderly ornj gentleman

8

u/leadMalamute Pawyer 1d ago

I seez yu has remubed da greebles frum dat paypurr. An den yu sopfines it fur da hoomanz. Dis a grate survice. Yu beserb hextra churus and lap time. August....

3

u/One_Advantage793 Consigliere 1d ago

Dis de way! Smuffi the wildcat, export on greeble behav, lak skientisss kitteh!

7

u/mybloodyballentine Pawyer 1d ago

You mean the toilet paper ATTACKED you and you had to defend yourself! xoxo black Frankie atty at paw

6

u/greyshem Sadie, Purrfessional Nap Cunsultint 1d ago

Oh, hai Martini! Iz mi, Sadie 18f, fierce huntress (retired). Allz ai see iz yu dumb hoominz rudely wakin yu up from napz. Den yu rub da scratchy papur dats in front ob yuz. No crimez.

Also, Go Crimez!

6

u/FartyOldeBob 1d ago

GO CRIMEZ!

5

u/Athrynne 1d ago

Yuz hav dubbel defenses agins crimez!

  1. Illegal smol

  2. enouf oranj to qualify as oranj. U have lack of braincell defens!

2

u/The_ShadowMaster4613 22h ago

No himz has moar braincells dan oranj. Him no all oranj, ony Lil bit!

5

u/AnAcctWithoutPurpose Ai Maiself ❤️ Queen Void, Princess Donna & Princess Astrid 1d ago

Iz no steeel if yooz iz illegal smol. And iz yooz haus, iz yoooz paper.

When all failz, blame dah doggo. Iz alwayz doggo's fault.

5

u/cruiser4319 1d ago

Fren Martini, shreddin da toy let papr iz da best crime! If iz lass roll, den yoo iz criminL mass r mine.

Ai myself iz Ollie North, papr shredr extraordinare from akros da 🌈 bridge wayr evry roll iz da lass won. 🧻

5

u/ANoisyCrow 23h ago

Smol iz da BESS for CRIMEZ!

poppy and Lily

5

u/witchammer 23h ago

Dats gud crimez! Go crimez!

5

u/The_ShadowMaster4613 22h ago

GO CRIEMZ!! As pawttormey ai remindz hoomins dat illegal smols is immune from criemz!!

5

u/Logical_Holiday_2457 Criminal Gang Crimz Club 🐈‍⬛ 1d ago

Dis wut willy happnd during da COVID! Terlet papey was distroyd by us bord cats! Plz keep secrit. ~Dinah teh Bemgal and Smudgy wif one trouble puff

4

u/Electrical-Act-7170 Em-pear-or Oliber da Red 1d ago

GREEBLEZ!

Wuz da GREEBLEZ! (go crimez!)

5

u/luciferskitty 1d ago

Dats best CRIMEZ!!! 😺

3

u/glycophosphate 23h ago

Marsquini you iz de bestest at criems! Most uv us kitties ony haz de fun paperz in de hooman litterbox room! Yoo haz got dem in your toy room! Yoo iz de bestest! Go criemz!

3

u/catstaffer329 The Cat Overlords Monet and Lilly 20h ago

GO CRIMEZ! DIS IS DA BEST!

3

u/Liu1845 Pawyer 18h ago

"Lookee what I did, all by meowself! Aren't yu proud of me?"

4

u/FloofingWithFloofers Floofaloofs on da loose 16h ago edited 8h ago

We smolz so we git away wif it!! Go crimez ♡♡♡

Felix da Cat of da Teeny Tiny Floofaloofs!! also illegal smol!

3

u/KinkyRenee Waffle the Butt and Chipolata of Complain - down under ICBGC 12h ago

You are my sister!

Waffle the Butt