The CEO of LinkedIn

[u/kingottacYT]

[u/Aioi]

As the CEO of LinkedIn, I’m issuing an executive order to keep things as they are.

[u/-Tuck-Frump- → u/Aioi]

I'm also the CEO of LinkedIn, and I am ordering them to change things. Dont care what or how, just change something. I need to appear decisive.

[u/mekomaniac → u/-Tuck-Frump-]

As the CFO of LinkedIn, I'm gonna need you to move your money to my acct, thank you and good day.

[u/pewpew_lotsa_boolits → u/mekomaniac]

DO NOT REDEEM! DO NOT REDEEM!

Oh wait, sorry. Wrong scam.

[u/blitzkreig90 → u/pewpew_lotsa_boolits]

MA'AM LISTEN TO ME! LISTEEENNN TO MEEEE MAAA'AAMM!

[u/Master_Flamingo_8849 → u/-Tuck-Frump-]

Is that you Elon?

[u/Master_Flamingo_8849 → u/[deleted]]

Wait, you're not the same person that I replied to at all!!!

[u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist → u/[deleted]]

Interesting...

[u/FlashpointSynergy → u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist]

Concerning. Will have one of my secretaries look into this, as I am the CEO of LinkedIn.

[u/pewpew_lotsa_boolits → u/FlashpointSynergy]

Hi there, as the CEO of LinkedIn, let’s focus on the synergy of circling back to the dynamic relationship this endeavor has allowed us to put a good deal of appropriate focus on these incredible opportunities and challenges we all can strive to benefit from in the coming FY.

I’ll have my people set up a Teams meeting for us to plan a Zoom session and we can all collaborate on getting a GoTo scheduled at the most earliest convenience of the group.

So, yeah.

[u/SNRatio → u/-Tuck-Frump-]

CEO of Mckinsey & Company here. After a thorough study of LinkedIn, I recommend that you:

• Follow our three to five bullet points.
• We copypasted them from our consulting gigs at Ozy and Theranos.
• The last two bullet points will cost an extra $100k each, but they are really good.

[u/Whipitreelgud → u/Aioi]

As the head of DOGE at LinkedIn, you’re fired