What are they gonna do, arrest a pickle?

[u/Particular_Belt4028]

[u/MeLoNarXo]

I mean the Dutch arrested a bird so I don't see why you couldn't arrest a pickle

[u/Blubasur → u/MeLoNarXo]

As a dutch person, fucker had it coming. I support crime pickle though

[u/Altruistic-Cat-7531 → u/Blubasur]

That bird was high up in Chinese intelligence. I heard they traded him back for three human assets.

[u/AntifaAnita → u/Blubasur]

The Dutch ate a Prime Minister, would they eat a pickle?

[u/Blubasur → u/AntifaAnita]

Yes, but not crime pickle

[u/Ambitious_Jelly8783 → u/AntifaAnita]

Not my speckled jim!

[u/alwayswrongasalways → u/MeLoNarXo]

Bird shouldn't of self incriminated

[u/unholy_roller → u/alwayswrongasalways]

*have

[u/AppropriateTouching → u/unholy_roller]

Fun fact, language changes over time as people use it.

Source: We aren't using old english.

Edit: English has an insane amount of dialects and insisting only one is "proper" is pretentious.

[u/Calm_Plenty_2992 → u/AppropriateTouching]

"The language is evolving" isn't a good excuse for being anti-intellectual, especially when you don't know what language evolution actually looks like. This isn't the result of a new dialect - that would be more like AAVE. This is the result of widespread illiteracy

[u/Inventor_Raccoon → u/AppropriateTouching]

that's not an excuse to stop educating people on how to write and speak English properly

[u/AppropriateTouching → u/Inventor_Raccoon]

Do you not understand how dialects work? There are so many variants of english at this point.

[u/DefectiveLP → u/AppropriateTouching]

*have

[u/OMEN336 → u/AppropriateTouching]

English is English, you melon. There are many rules to speaking 'proper English', usually just refered to as English. If you speak like a spack, that's on you.

[u/unholy_roller → u/AppropriateTouching]

Nice try but not in this case; the English language is currently evolving to add “shoulda” as a word specifically because people shorten “should have” (e.g. “you shoulda done your homework”)

In fact shoulda isn’t even flagged on my autocorrect on my phone. On the other hand, should “of” is automatically fixed unless I manually change it. (In fact it did it after I pressed enter on my phone so I had to manually add the quotes lol)

If enough people keep making this mistake maybe it’ll catch on and become correct, but as of right now there is no indication that’s happening

[u/AppropriateTouching → u/unholy_roller]

Fun fact, language changes over time as people use it. Source: We aren't using old english.

Edit: You proved my point about evolving language.

Edit 2: "If enough people keep making this mistake maybe it’ll catch on and become correct, but as of right now there is no indication that’s happening"

The fact you're even commenting on it means it is.

[u/Cejrickroll → u/AppropriateTouching]

It needs to be like a slang before it becomes mainstream and right now it's not even a slang yet 🤦

[u/AppropriateTouching → u/Cejrickroll]

People have been using "would of" for at least 20 years and its mostly accepted as common language aside from a small set of people getting all up in arms about it over nothing. Not sure what you're on about. 🤦

[u/Cejrickroll → u/AppropriateTouching]

Oh really? Where source

[u/Hijo-De-Puta → u/AppropriateTouching]

Your communication is quite a turn of(f) narcissistic phrasing, uncouth for a pretend linguist. Luckily however the squabble economics is just internet and nobody really bite as hard as they think they skin colour really is. Fuck of(f) buddy, telling you to learn inglais is not the same as telling you to touch grass.

[u/AppropriateTouching → u/[deleted]]

My point is what is "proper" changes over time. This is not (or isn't) a difficult concept. There are so many different variations of english at this point being obtuse about it is ridiculous.

[u/AppropriateTouching → u/[deleted]]

Do you understand what "should of" means? Then who cares. That's (That is) the entire point of language. It communicates. You're (You are) the one who is refusing to learn how people actually use words and looking down at them for using common turns of phrase because you deem them "improper".

[u/Particular_Belt4028 → u/AppropriateTouching]

What did that person say? guess this is what I get for not reading the notifs of my own post

[u/OMEN336 → u/AppropriateTouching]

The only reason you can use that's and you're is because they used punctuation to shorten two words. Just using the wrong word has nothing to do with shortening two words to make one that better captures what is being spoken. The rules of the language still apply to them, like they apply to the word 'have' following 'should' and not 'of'.

That's how language works. Just because loads of people are slow and can't use the language properly doesn't make them right.

ETA: Re read your first comment and realised you can't even structure a sentence correctly, go back to school.

[u/panicinbabylon → u/MeLoNarXo]

Self identifying crime pickle, case closed.

[u/Eastern_Ad_3938 → u/MeLoNarXo]

Can’t put cuffs on a pickle, it’s got no appendages.

[u/Aceldian → u/MeLoNarXo]

Birds aren’t real

[u/Square_Ad4004]

I didn't know I needed Crime Pickle in my life today, but I did. Thank you for your service, noble pickle.

[u/bigbankmanman]

if there's one thing Crime Pickle has taught me, it's crime.

[u/Accomplished-Fig745]

Username checks out.

[u/WeleaseBwianThrow]

He's in a bit of a pickle now

[u/_Batteries_]

When I was in my early 20's, I didnt file my taxes for 7 years. Eventually they sent me a letter saying if I didnt do my taxes there would be legal consequences. So, I gathered up as much of the relevant docs as I could, and went to a tax place and gave the $40 and said here you go.

I got a $3400 refund. Would have been more but so many late filing penalties. 

I also got audited. Which I then took to the tax place and they dealt with it.

Good times. 

Edit: to be clear, I didnt do my taxes for 7 years because I was a cook more interested in women, drugs, and alcohol than filing taxes, and I knew I would be getting refunds (because I was a cook with shit pay) so I was like, meh. Nothing nefarious was going on, I was just a little shit.

[u/Sh3lls → u/_Batteries_]

So you're saying we have at least 7 years.

[u/_Batteries_ → u/Sh3lls]

Lol idk it was 20 years ago

[u/PIeaseDontBeMad → u/Sh3lls]

At most*

[u/Sh3lls → u/PIeaseDontBeMad]

I would argue on the opposite given the cuts. I'd figure we have more time now.

[u/-Aquanaut-]

Don’t worry one of the 5 people left at the IRS will get right on it

[u/RiJi_Khajiit]

"IM COMMITTING TAX FRAUD MORTTTTYYYYYY!!!"

[u/FiglarAndNoot]

Pickle is you making tweets about a criminal fucking conspiracy?

[u/_chococat_]

With all the cuts in IRS staffing, I'm betting on them not catching the fraud.

[u/Otherwise-Future7143]

If I'm getting a refund, I file as soon as possible. If I owe I file on the last day possible.

[u/sabre38]

H&R block lobbying to the US government

[u/space_for_username → u/sabre38]

Most employees in New Zealand are on PAYE, and we get an email from the tax department sometime in april/may to tell us if we have a refund or owe them. Doesn't seem complicated.

[u/sabre38 → u/space_for_username]

That's amazing! Canada has started to get some free software, but still have to file ourselves. CRA started to roll out automatic filing for low-income earners.

[u/TheGreatGenghisJon]

Might not seem like a good idea, but it's a good reason.

[u/ft907]

There's never been a better time to try.

[u/Ok_Improvement_8177]

Wesley Snipes would disagree that it's a bad idea...

[u/MinotaurLost]

Why not? The president does it all the time.

[u/kamala2013]

I am a pickle 🥒 Morty!!!!! I am a fuck#ng pickle!!!!!!!

[u/warmbeer_ik]

Be like Crime Pickle

[u/12InchPickle]

They couldn’t handle my pickle.

[u/LumenLace]

No one should pay this year after finding out where billions of our taxes are going. Screw that

[u/matthewc21c]

Insert relevant infamous comment

[u/mikefrombarto]

Because my wife’s company fucked up everyone’s W-2s 3 times so far.

[u/FLYSWATTER_93]

That doesn't seem like a good idea.

Why is every company on social media so out of touch 😒

[u/Hamphalamph]

Do not provoke the briney one.

[u/TweeSpoon515045]

CRIME PICKLE!!!

[u/qsteele93]

u/tweetlinker

[u/ScreamingMini2009]

What are they going to do?

HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A PICKLE

[u/Pickle-Standard]

That seems risky to me. I would never.

[u/IamREBELoe]

Brine doesn't pay

[u/Unlucky-Bunch-7389]

Because why do I have to DO my taxes?

[u/Raelah]

I would like to know more about crime pickle.

[u/RymrgandsDaughter]

The IRS is half deleted I'm not doing shit

[u/twoaspensimages]

Nobody goes to jail for good natured financial shenanigans.

[u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox]

The @handle is glorious

[u/Tasty_Wheat_]

And that’s why he’s not Law-Abiding Pickle

[u/skapunkin]

they can't help it leave them be

[u/Single-Employer-4251]

i mean, yeah.

[u/XxDarkRagexX1]

Just remember kids, Al Capone lost to some Suits from the IRS. They’ll take a pickle down, too!

[u/tdawg2k7]

I mean, it’s probably a safe crime these days. I can’t imagine 1 of the like 6 remaining IRS agents left working in this country are going to care too much.

[u/XenoBiSwitch]

I am waiting to see if there is still an IRS on April 15th.

[u/BobTheInept]

So close! If only it was a turnip instead of a cucumber

[u/UntestedMethod]

Ahh but H&R Block, not all may be as it seems..

[u/decmcc]

honestly don't see why anyone would pay taxes this year.

[u/Particular-Rent-5042]

Sounds like he may be in a ...pickle. I'll see myself out

[u/Spend-Automatic]

Subreddit themes are meaningless, just post a funny thing and it'll get upvoted

[u/EUNEisAmeme]

I'M PICKLE RIIIIICK