r/mapporncirclejerk • u/verycoolcrow • 2d ago

Finnish Sea Naval Officer Who would win this hypothetical war

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1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

187 comments sorted by

355

u/gummyvvurms 2d ago

Bisexual Bosnia and it’s not even close

162

u/millionwatermellon 2d ago

"Bisexual Bosnia" sounds like like a 1990's punk rock chick band protesting the Clinton administration's involvement in, well...

12

u/Jazz-Ranger 1d ago

Say it!

5

u/AttentionLimp194 1d ago

Monica L.?

234

u/IncredibleCamel 2d ago

Transylvania, obviously

7

u/breadho 1d ago

Bosnia and Trasegovina, Troasia, Transvenia, Transmania, Serbitrans, Montranegro, North Transcedonia, Trosovo, Transbania (not shown)

edit: forgot Greece (greece)

22

u/millionwatermellon 2d ago

You get an up vote but

1

u/Kyr1500 1:1 scale map creator 1d ago

No Transnistria will win because they have that one weapon stockpile near-ish to the village of Lenin

196

u/DerKatzlatzee 2d ago

You just offended complete Yugoslavia, dont make holidays there xD

92

u/TheKingNothing690 Average Mercator Projection Enjoyer 2d ago

Honestly, not that hard of a feat to accomplish.

46

u/Ragipi12 2d ago

Who in their right mind would go to Kosovo for their holidays?😭

49

u/Terrible_Onions 2d ago

NATO

4

u/FullWrap9881 1d ago

Then they go to Serbia for Christmas

9

u/Zhidezoe 2d ago

Who in Balkan is in their right mind?

7

u/Aggressive_Peach_768 2d ago

Easy just put a beer bottle up your ass, and you have war

4

u/KilliamTell 2d ago

КОЈИ КУРАС БОЛАН WE VERY CALM PEOPLE AND NICE FUCK YOU

2

u/hilbert-space 2d ago

Can't holiday in a place that doesn't exist

1

u/mohamadmido 1d ago

Slovenia is not offended really

55

u/TapRevolutionary5738 2d ago

Asexual Slovenia can't replace their battlefield losses, I'm voting against them

9

u/Axel_the_Axelot 1d ago

We absolutely can, especially after uniting with the aros

80

u/DaGayEnby 2d ago

Def the asexuals, they already conquered denmark

3

u/Mr_memez69 1d ago

and we will take the rest of northern europe

1

u/DaGayEnby 1d ago

Yes we will

2

u/Nyx_w0rld 2d ago

Hell yeah!

94

u/silly_arthropod I'm an ant in arctica 2d ago

transcedonia 🏳️‍⚧️❤️🐜

8

u/millionwatermellon 2d ago

You also get an up vote but

26

u/Undertalegamezer969 If you see me post, find shelter immediately 2d ago

I am proposing a union with our bisexual friends to the southwest, together we could fuck them all, up

14

u/Liontreeble 1d ago

I might be biased but ace takes it no? By definition every ace pilot will take out at least 5 enemy pilots.

26

u/Public_Jacket3840 2d ago

Invisible Albania

6

u/et_alliae 2d ago

When you can't even say

11

u/Glad_Raspberry_8469 Zeeland Resident 2d ago

Hungary is hungry for beaches

21

u/thecraftybear 2d ago

Lesbian Croatia? Would vacation there. I could just chill in peace knowing that i'm not getting any mixed signals from anyone. They're not interested, i'm not interested, we can all just go around our business.

10

u/MarinoRolfino 2d ago

Omg it’s Yurislavia

5

u/millionwatermellon 2d ago edited 2d ago

Montenegro. Down for fucking (everyone up). But doesn't get the whole falling in love thing. (Note: must enter into a close alliance with Slovenia)

2

u/UlissRR If I see another repost I will shoot this puppy 1d ago

In fact, slovenian people dont like montenegrins bcz they think they arre lazy people

7

u/Yanninbo 2d ago

Seems like colour white has territorial advantage

7

u/ConcernedUrquan 2d ago

"Ace Slovenia: they just wait until everyone’s fucking each other to death, and once everyone’s dead, they automatically win

5

u/Grafdelver 2d ago

Dunno, bur Trans Macedonia looks pretty based to me

4

u/Gullible-Orange-6337 2d ago

Slovenia! Their femboys are the best!

4

u/Real-Year2530 2d ago

Gay Србиja

4

u/Anticitizen_One_27 2d ago

Why are northern and southern Serbia separate? And what are these colors? Are they supposed to mean anything? They look cheerful :)

4

u/CranberryKidney 1d ago

The B in LGBT stands for Balkans

3

u/Laffantion 2d ago

NATO as always

3

u/snoowsoul 2d ago

Looks like a gender war 😆. Whoever has kids wins - just give it 2-3 generations.

3

u/i_came_mario 2d ago

Bisexuals can I have Sea Access

Lesbians no

3

u/dominikstephan 2d ago

In any case China.

3

u/Material-Animal-7151 1d ago

pansexual are able to estabilish more aliance

3

u/Sirniy_Belash 1d ago

I don't know most of the flags but Macedonia will lose 40% of its military instantly

3

u/M-SHE-U1Fan 2d ago

Where I a non binary aromatic lesbian gonna live ?!

2

u/No-Care6414 1d ago

The Croa-Monte-Kosovo border

2

u/PeacefulSteam11 1d ago

Omg same here - non binary aro/ace lol

2

u/confuse_ricefarmer 2d ago

Where are Beiyang government

2

u/itisoriginalnick 2d ago

Go Go Asexual Slovenia and Aromatic Montenegro!

2

u/111coo00pl If you see me post, find shelter immediately 2d ago

Bosnia and Herzegovina or Vojvodina

2

u/radicalviewcat1337 2d ago

They all band together for some massive gay sex fest

2

u/Careless-Cover8000 2d ago

No one wins in war.

2

u/Historical-Style-626 2d ago

Expect reddit memers.💪 💪 💪

2

u/IntCriminalNo1412 2d ago

I like yuri, so the lesbians win.

1

u/StrangeDiscussion334 1d ago

Who is yuri?

2

u/-H1Z1- 1d ago

The first guy have been in space

1

u/IntCriminalNo1412 1d ago

It's girl love, basically just lesbians.

1

u/Theusualstufff 1d ago

great guy that went to space

1

u/Mysterious_Silver_27 1d ago

Makarov’s friend in COD or something

2

u/Acrobatic_Fee_5531 2d ago

Definitely Vojvodinia

2

u/arrogantdumbass 2d ago

Me!

I have no idea what those flags represent but I know they are united in their desire to annoy me

2

u/SpecialistBuilding66 1d ago

If Bosnia and Vojvodina unite to create M-specalavia then they win but otherwise lesbian Croatia wins

2

u/Endieo 1d ago

Non‐binary is gay! (serbian gay nationalism)

2

u/Wild-Cardiologist-43 1d ago

I think, half of them take rope and chair

2

u/Anonymous0964 1d ago

It’s only fair that Gay Serbia and Ace Slovenia team up to start a takeover of all the remaining land

3

u/FancyMoose9401 2d ago

Which country has a 41% casualty rate before war breaks out?

Definitely not them.

2

u/ChirpyMisha 2d ago

The lesbians of course

2

u/Cozma_Galusca 2d ago

Congrats, you just united the entire Yugoslavia to hunt you for the rest of the universe.

1

u/Ok-Duck-5127 2d ago

The dragon.

1

u/kaanrifis 2d ago

Transmacedonia

1

u/EmergencySociety21 2d ago

Педикостан

1

u/Lookatvischer 2d ago

Croatia 🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷🇭🇷

1

u/CatboyNeurofunk 2d ago

why do we have to be serbia what did we do

1

u/Niki2002j 2d ago

Trans and lesbians would make alliance and solo everyone with girls spamming double dash

1

u/Archonik1 2d ago

Missed opportunity with trans-sylvania.

1

u/Ironcore413 2d ago

Humanity

1

u/Scarlet-pimpernel 2d ago

Is that transsylvania?

1

u/Pauleyyy 2d ago

crogaysha

1

u/tweetegirl France was an Inside Job 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Some_Statistician_86 2d ago

Ustase femboys

1

u/kindofsus38 2d ago

The Lesbians would quickly overtake the Bisexuals and Pansexuals, then take pretty much everyone else except Trans, which might hold up

1

u/ironmurat003 1d ago

Gay cominist

1

u/rick_the_freak 1d ago

Now I kinda want to rank LGBT flags based on how nice their color pallet is

1

u/el_artista_fantasma 1d ago

The lesbian beak finally eats the bisexual breadcrum

1

u/HighVisibilityCamo 1d ago

If the community that's known for acceptance and inclusion starts a civil war, the haters win. The religious fruitcakes, the terfs, the uninformed, the uneducated, the right wings, the pro-conversion-therapy wackos... This is a really dumb hypothetical.

1

u/Mountain_Captain5541 1d ago

Lesbian Croatia 

1

u/AJ0Laks 1d ago

Translithenia

1

u/Cbrauts707 1d ago

I'm disapointed that you chose to make Slovenia Asexual instead of Femboy

1

u/No-Care6414 1d ago

Enby kosovo and others cannot even compare

1

u/Kartoffee 1d ago

Slovacia or Bisnia

1

u/Heatsigma12 If you see me post, find shelter immediately 1d ago

why do we have to be bosnian 😔

1

u/Heatsigma12 If you see me post, find shelter immediately 1d ago

why did the gaybia fracture

1

u/AngryWorkerofAmerica 1d ago

Asexual Slovenia because they could drop gay bombs on the enemy and be entirely unaffected.

1

u/Cheezeepants 1d ago

the only places i recognize here are lesbos, transnistria, and denmark

1

u/Bright-Heron3804 1d ago

Fucking hell that's a way to piss off the entire balkans.

1

u/Ok_Tumbleweed_3849 1d ago

Aro, Aro, Aro Aro!

1

u/Low_Entertainer_6973 1d ago

The ball sack part

1

u/kadaka80 1d ago

My bet is on the Austro-Hungarian empire

1

u/Jealous_Answer_5091 1d ago

SlAcevenia of cource

1

u/Mysterious_Silver_27 1d ago

The three kingdom of serbia?

1

u/mikohuzo 1d ago

M.A.D

1

u/IL_DOGGO_137 1d ago

Definitely pansexual Vojvodina

1

u/wtxe_ 1d ago

I think gay will win

1

u/vnyxnW 1d ago

M-ACK-edonia

1

u/Mingopoop 1d ago

Vojvodina doesn't exist?

1

u/lechonklover 1d ago

As a pansexual, it's gotta be pansexual vojvodina

1

u/salyer41 1d ago

Not my eyes

1

u/number1oasisfan 1d ago

What happened to Albania?

1

u/XO1GrootMeester 1d ago

South Serbia. Alliteration in the name and the most bars

1

u/big_tug1 1d ago

The asexuals, they already have control of Denmark so they’ll win

1

u/MadamIzolda 1d ago

kosovo cause i have no idea what im doing with my life either

1

u/WonkiWombat 1d ago

Trans Kosovo 😅

1

u/abcxyz123890_ 1d ago

Don't know who will win but do know that the people of all the countries will lose.

1

u/rathosalpha 1d ago

Missed opertunity to include Transilvania

1

u/Kirion0921 1d ago

id say the gays

1

u/R6_Warrior 1d ago

The one with a lot of colors

1

u/Excitedastroid 1d ago

vojvopana because they can seduce everyone

1

u/Tadster87 1d ago

Serbia? Or NATO but NATO isnt a country

1

u/PsychoBugler 1d ago

Errybody sleeping on Sapphicroatia.

1

u/Defiant_Jackfruit334 1d ago

Should made Slovenia the femboy/trans flag 😔😔 (and why the hell there is a northern and southern Serbian)

1

u/JanaTS69 1d ago

No one!

1

u/BigNero I'm an ant in arctica 1d ago

They all lose, somehow

1

u/Apprehensive-Rope666 1d ago

Serbians triggered

1

u/otter_boom 1d ago

The Pan Sexual Republic, they play every side.

1

u/Rhomega2 1d ago

I don't know, but I'm fighting for Montenegro.

1

u/dancin-weasel 1d ago

The stripey one.

1

u/RevolutionaryCity629 1d ago

I have a worddocument were i gave some sexualities super Powers sooo anyone want that document?

1

u/lombwolf France was an Inside Job 1d ago

Missed opportunity to add TRANSlyvania

1

u/Nazgul_1994 1d ago

Shit, i have no idea what any of these colors mean. But anyone as always, no one would win. I still bet on Slovenia for no reason at all...

1

u/_ExAngel_ 1d ago

no one, they'll nuke each other

1

u/False_Collar_6844 1d ago

Lesbians, asexuals and trans/genderqueer people form an alliance and demolish everyone ending in several marriage pacts to maintain the peace.

1

u/FuckyouaII 1d ago

Fighting for 3 different sides, please help

1

u/mazdamiata2 1d ago

macedonian rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/PaSy4 22h ago

Russian gay parade looks nice.

1

u/cook_the_penguin 22h ago

Slovenia and Montenegro would be allies

1

u/IcyDotNat 21h ago

Oh, the Aro-ace are going to join forces and annihilate everyone here... Then, we all die. So that means no one wins in war :D

1

u/Aandr3kzm 21h ago

I would win

1

u/DocZ-1701 21h ago

Yugoslavia.

1

u/kap21tain 19h ago

why isn’t transylvania trans

1

u/Horror-Attorney-3575 19h ago

No one because everyone start kissing eachother

1

u/UtaMatter 18h ago

1939 Germany

1

u/BrotherInGoon 14h ago

You’ve mixed up the flagship the trans flag belongs to the north west in Slovenia

1

u/Better-Grapefruit-56 1d ago

Nobody, they all suck! ;~)

1

u/trisul-108 1d ago

They already had this war ... and we know who won and who lost.

1

u/Grzechoooo 1d ago

Serbia should be straight because they're evil.

1

u/Mingopoop 1d ago

Why exactly is Serbia evil?

1

u/Grzechoooo 1d ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Balkans#20th_century

Also, they're on the opposite side of geopolitics from my country, which makes them pure, irredeemable evil, obviously.

0

u/Mingopoop 1d ago

Things Serbia did in the past, and they went through the consequences of their actions (NATO bombing campaign)

And aren't Poles and Serbs friends?

1

u/Gustav_Sirvah 20h ago

Serbs are "Orthodox Brothers" of Russia. And anyone who want to be friend of Russia is automatically out of question for Poland.

0

u/Effective-Record-995 2d ago

Nazi germany would whipe you all out

-1

u/kastela_man 2d ago

The trannies, just like in Squid Game 2.

0

u/CC6112 1d ago

Nobody. They would kill themselves because everybody isn't cis and so they can blame their Problems only on themselves.

-1

u/Suspicious_Mail_7081 2d ago

Dont know one of this freak flags

2

u/No-Care6414 1d ago

Don't engage then dipshit

-1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

0

u/TheRtHonLaqueesha 2d ago edited 2d ago

North Macedonia: Trans Bulgars

0

u/shyguyshow 2d ago

Serbia got their northern border reverted back to Pre-World War 1

0

u/fuck1ngf45c1574dm1n5 1d ago

The nukes and MIC

0

u/fijiwijii If I see another repost I will shoot this puppy 1d ago

none because they wouldn't harm a fly

0

u/Zestyclose_Can9486 If you see me post, find shelter immediately 1d ago

White

-1

u/Active_Resist6107 2d ago

It's a losing game all the way around

Mostly joking don't get mad at me for it

-1

u/JadedEngine6497 1d ago edited 1d ago

why are you ....my country .....Why?..... Those countries are the least homosexuaI....i gues its just made for fun...

Edit: -1? Wow, not even gonna comment? just pure hate with downvoting,gj 👍