r/mapporncirclejerk • u/Toffelsnarz • 1d ago

fuck around and find out

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233 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

42 comments sorted by

22

u/cargusbralem 1d ago

South North America

5

u/Humble_Turnip_3948 1d ago

Middle upper Americas (New Denmark)

16

u/verbless-action 1d ago

You forgot the most important one - Danish West Indies.

1

u/Bach2Rock-Monk2Punk 20h ago

That's a spicy dessert!

4

u/Zestyclose_Can9486 If you see me post, find shelter immediately 1d ago

are US soldiers prepared for greenland since they only know sand

3

u/I_am_person_being 18h ago

The US government had to move their presidential innauguration inside because of -4 C and a couple centimeters of snow. They could not handle Greenland

1

u/riku_fca 13h ago

Fear now, you don’t know fort drum or Alaska! We have seen the worse lmao

5

u/HeyEveryItsFlo 23h ago

The good ending.

6

u/wcube2 1d ago

They can't keep getting away with it!

5

u/SeaTurtle42 1d ago

They should have never messed with vikings.

3

u/Ok-Smoke-2356 20h ago

The new danish territories should be named "Leif Erikson Land"

4

u/pixelAAAted 1d ago

Suddenly, Russia borders EU on both sides.

2

u/Big-Carpenter7921 23h ago

I'd rather be in Denmark

2

u/wakaro 22h ago

Best conspiracy I've seen

2

u/YYBB_ZZKK 18h ago

Dear Denmark,

Please don’t give the people in your Lower North America territory the same right to vote. They may elect a moron. Twice.

Sincerely.

1

u/DashOfCarolinian 16h ago

That would cause a rebellion

2

u/zeyeeter 17h ago

Yay the USA finally has free healthcare

3

u/JoelWarlock 1d ago

What about Guam and Puerto Rico?

7

u/Toffelsnarz 1d ago

Puerto Rico is independent. Americans who refuse to learn Danish are relocated to the Guam Penal Colony.

2

u/cheezfreek 23h ago

That’s pretty easy. Clear your throat a few times and you’ve probably got a sentence.

1

u/Lumornys 16h ago

First the Danes should fix their pronunciation.

2

u/SatiesUmbrellaCloset 1d ago

This would be an optimistic outcome

1

u/PlatypusACF 1d ago

The scientific method be like

1

u/Blutrumpeter 1d ago

Name it Freeland in the same naming spirit as Greenland

1

u/Mountain_Captain5541 23h ago

Now how the hell did they get Alaska and Hawaii 

1

u/The_War_Official 23h ago

Ok. I'll take this

1

u/hurB55 France was an Inside Job 22h ago

My honest Columbia Territory reaction:

1

u/ImaginaryAnimator416 22h ago

Central* North America

1

u/ReverendBread2 22h ago

We deserve this.

1

u/TemporaryFig8587 21h ago

Can Iceland be part of Denmark?

1

u/mayaE17 21h ago

Saint Thomas ,Saint John and the rest of the Virgin Islands back to Denmark

1

u/StormDragonAlthazar 21h ago

I don't know, I'd still want California to become Alta California again. Maybe when can bring with us Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas too...

Return of the Mexican empire?

1

u/Thalassophoneus 20h ago

Actually the USA should be taken by Netherlands. I mean they did create New Amsterdam.

1

u/bphilippi92 20h ago

Oops! All Denmark!

1

u/Bach2Rock-Monk2Punk 20h ago

Omg! Now we'll have to rename it The Gulf of Denmark !!

1

u/Soupsie_ 19h ago

Why is our norway and iceland colonies gone? L danish empire

1

u/redhotpolpot 14h ago

Would Denmark force birth control on the US women the same way they did in Greenland in 60s and 70s?

1

u/Toffelsnarz 7h ago

Nope, they will force it on US men

0

u/softwaredoug 1d ago

Our sprawling subburbs are not walled. We're ripe for Vking Raids

0

u/No_Relative_1145 19h ago

could never happen

0

u/UnityJusticeFreedom If you see me post, find shelter immediately 15h ago

Thanks for the normal map but where is the joke