r/mildlypenis • u/haicau_mirage_1301 • Jan 22 '25

Vegetable I don't know what to do with this

Gallery image

Gallery image

1.6k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

243

u/wiredallwrong Jan 23 '25

Jerk it off. See if you get ketchup.

53

u/jadie_bae Jan 23 '25

so thats where ketchup comes from!

16

u/MissLisaMarie86 Jan 23 '25

Had to give you an award for that one 😂 Thanks for the laugh

8

u/wiredallwrong Jan 23 '25

I greatly appreciate it. We all need a good laugh.

10

u/mrsaskquatch Jan 23 '25

You have to suck the ketchup out.

5

u/qankz Jan 23 '25

So it came blood ? Gross

2

u/Slight_Commission805 Jan 24 '25

You know what, hell yeah.

53

u/FinalTooth Jan 23 '25

You know what to do

47

u/Hazechen420 Jan 23 '25

8

u/RecommendationNo3942 Jan 23 '25

Came here for this 🤣🤣🤣

26

u/lily_reads Jan 23 '25

Twist it, bop it…

10

u/AeronGrey Jan 23 '25

Jerk it

2

u/lily_reads Jan 24 '25

That’s the one!

19

u/NoleMercy05 Jan 23 '25

Rub the middle and watch it grow

16

u/SenpaiRemling Jan 23 '25

That is one giant tomato, above average for sure

6

u/haicau_mirage_1301 Jan 23 '25

Yeah like the colossal one

10

u/Odd-Mousse-9957 Jan 23 '25

The shape is so surprising

11

u/haicau_mirage_1301 Jan 23 '25

That was she said

1

u/Odd-Mousse-9957 Feb 03 '25

That looks very familiar LOL

10

u/Creepy-Prune-7304 Jan 23 '25

Hold it in your mouth till it gets soft

9

u/no_maj Jan 23 '25

I should call him…

7

u/Gspotavenger Jan 23 '25

Your mother knew what to do with it last night. (Sean Connery)

5

u/HikeMyPantsUpJohnson Jan 23 '25

Massive anime balls

4

u/Grime_Minister613 Jan 23 '25

Legend has it, it will invoke the spirit of Priapus. Eat it.

4

u/PurpleHeartEdition Jan 23 '25

this tomato looks riper than it actually is

4

u/wong2k Jan 23 '25

put lube on

5

u/Terrible-Mind4759 Jan 23 '25

He’s a grower, not a shower

5

u/Remarkable_Judge_861 Jan 23 '25

rub the shaft and you will get twice as much the tomato

4

u/Bitter-Hitter Jan 23 '25

Put it in your mouth 👄

4

u/bailey9969 Jan 23 '25

Suck on the tip til it juices, of course

3

u/Snoo65042 Jan 23 '25

Reminds me of my ex

3

u/icadragoon Jan 23 '25

Eat it you coward.

3

u/Different-Whole-4616 Jan 23 '25

Your name Stormy Daniels?

3

u/x_Derecho_x Jan 23 '25

Well you're halfway there cupping the balls, so..

3

u/MrMach82 Jan 23 '25

Grower not a shower. Just warm it up a little

3

u/Unusual-Ad-1056 Jan 23 '25

One bite, everyone knows the rules

3

u/Mrburns_exellent Jan 23 '25

Femboy tomato

3

u/Sharp-Study3292 Jan 23 '25

See if it grows if you play with it

2

u/Separate-Dark-5680 Jan 23 '25

Get him a peach!

2

u/Aggravating_Loan_770 Jan 23 '25

Pump it up, pump it up.

2

u/HomeProfessional2380 Jan 23 '25

All pack no punch

2

u/Sedalin Jan 23 '25

Make an appointment at your local GP. This is a severe case of inguinal hernia. Qualifies for the surgery.

2

u/starry-eyed-banana Jan 23 '25

Oh dear. Shame on you!

2

u/rinkerbam Jan 23 '25

European tomato

2

u/Specialist-Weird-676 Jan 23 '25

It looks more like an ass or thighs

2

u/FollowingLove Jan 23 '25

Who leaked my thing !

2

u/ritterzs Jan 24 '25

Sword fight?

1

u/haicau_mirage_1301 Jan 24 '25

Why do many vegetables look like this?? 💀💀

2

u/verbouge Jan 24 '25

Put it in your mouth. Duh.

2

u/kikichunt Jan 23 '25

Give it back to POTUS before he misses it.