r/mildlypenis • u/MAYALLY0URBAC0NBURN • 29d ago

Food Never buying a popsicle from the hardware store again.

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

13.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

528 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Royalchariot 29d ago

HARD ware

429

u/MAYALLY0URBAC0NBURN 29d ago

Only the hardest of wares here!

9

u/kobrakaan 28d ago

HARDware WHORE

→ More replies (8)

625

u/BallisticFroggy030 29d ago

The fact that you have it sitting between your legs too-

351

u/MAYALLY0URBAC0NBURN 29d ago

It would've been a disservice to place it anywhere else haha

108

u/jkink28 29d ago

Nice cock.

You should probably remove that blue thing before it cuts off your bloodflow though.

71

u/lightning847 28d ago

It appears as though the cylinder is stuck in the tube

24

u/VistulaRegiment 28d ago

try microwaving it

22

u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 14d ago

[deleted]

11

u/wumpus_woo_ 28d ago

have you tried removing it from the large object it's attached to?

14

u/theSPYDERDUDE 28d ago

The cylinder must stay attached at all cost

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

44

u/GoziMai 29d ago

Also look how they’re holding it 🤣🤣🤣

17

u/Elegant_Conflict8235 29d ago

Sometimes you gotta just roleplay for a bit

5

u/qwertyuiop121314321 29d ago

Interesting how they're holding it between their legs. 🤣

6

u/Fatez3ro 28d ago

And no pants on.

944

u/verbouge 29d ago

Yes you are.

616

u/MAYALLY0URBAC0NBURN 29d ago

You're right, I should call them. 😔

79

u/Gimme-A-kooky 29d ago

Is that like a Whistle or Blow Pop? Or a wiggle-dunk pop? What? Never heard of it?! - asking for a friend

62

u/slutty_muppet 29d ago

Blow Pop

25

u/OuttHouseMouse 28d ago

4

u/Catturd5671 28d ago edited 28d ago

Is that a young Gronk? 😂

→ More replies (1)

16

u/Roflmaoasap 29d ago

It’s a swirl-n-flick pop

10

u/Gimme-A-kooky 29d ago

The “swish… annnnnd… flick” frenetic frenulum flobbin-knobbin-schlobbin.

5

u/firedmyass 28d ago

how… vivid

20

u/Least_or_Greatest1 29d ago

Well the hardware store gave you a Hard popsicle what else can you expect from a hardware store?🤣

13

u/NMB4Christmas 29d ago

Your mouth instinctually sucked it into that shape, didn't it?

42

u/samsnom 29d ago

Your profile picture is mildlypenis, or should I say your PP is mildly penis.

13

u/PineappleProstate 29d ago

Damn man I thought you had a fish hook in your dick

5

u/cl0udyviews 29d ago

Finna say I'm only buying from the hardware store now.

→ More replies (1)

232

u/Opposite_Heart138 29d ago

For a second I thought this was just a dick pic

85

u/CrystaLyn12_ 29d ago

Lick pic.

19

u/Jubenheim 29d ago

Seeing bubbles for your profile pic on mobile while making that comment makes it so much better worse.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

159

u/Expensive_Editor_244 29d ago

This goes past mildly, is there an r/overtlypenis ?
Edit: yup I guess so lol

54

u/MAYALLY0URBAC0NBURN 29d ago

Holy shit I didn't know that existed thank you lmao

→ More replies (3)

22

u/nihilist_sun 29d ago

3rd post down is literally a dick lmao

10

u/Painted-BIack-Roses 28d ago

Curiosity killed the cat lol

15

u/ReasonableGoose69 29d ago

i was about to ask, is the mildly in the room with us?

→ More replies (13)

64

u/LadyMaple_903 29d ago

Ope. That there is a popsuckle. Common misunderstanding.

50

u/MRToddMartin 29d ago

Now THATS a creamsicle!

22

u/Bannon9k 29d ago

My dick doesn't even look that phallic

13

u/Holiday-Calendar-541 29d ago

Aww look how happy it is to see you 🤭

10

u/Poo_Poo_La_Foo 29d ago

Think this is more r/extremelypenis

22

u/LionKovu 29d ago

You could at least try it before you start judging.. just the tip? Who knows, you might like it.

8

u/asimplethrowwayy 29d ago

that's not even mildly there's a urethra there man.

7

u/caramelcooler 29d ago

🎶it’s a dick in a tube🎶

7

u/__star_dust 29d ago

Sent to my partner who works in construction

6

u/ToxicShockFFXIV 29d ago

I would only buy popsicles from the hardware store after getting that.

5

u/BigAlternative5 28d ago

It's not gay if it's from the hardware store.

3

u/ToxicShockFFXIV 28d ago

I mean, it wouldn’t be gay for me regardless of location. 😅

6

u/LydiaJuice 29d ago

It has a hole and everything!! 😂😂

6

u/bbyrdie 28d ago

Is there a point where it stops being mild? Because I think this is veeeeeeery close to that line

→ More replies (2)

7

u/Ancient-Village6479 28d ago

Are these those flintstones ones you push up as you eat it? It’s like a penis growing into your mouth lol

6

u/MAYALLY0URBAC0NBURN 28d ago

This one wasn't Flintstones, but it's basically the same thing so YEP that exactly lol

5

u/groovy_turd666 29d ago

It's a dick-sicle

4

u/Istealyourwaffles 29d ago

hyggythhgy7btuubhjubynbujnuyjbnyjunjhhhhhhhhyhtyvgvyyyffyfgyg dygcuyfhuyfhyjfhjyh jybhybhythytbhybtbhyt WHAT THE HELL

5

u/Ditzy_Pooper 29d ago

i should call her who used to be him

6

u/GoziMai 29d ago

That is a bit more than mildly penis lol

5

u/trialoffears 29d ago

I think I can see a vein 🥴

5

u/wasante 29d ago

Why is it perfectly framed between your legs?

6

u/LiquidFur 29d ago

At least you didn't buy it from the software store

5

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Presumably an American popsicle?

→ More replies (3)

3

u/TheEyeofNapoleon 29d ago

I don’t see it at all. Unrelated, I AM OFF TO SUCK ON A SWEET-STICK AT THE HARD STORE!

Edit: Hardware*

5

u/natur_al 29d ago

Weird cause I’m only buying popsicles from the hardware store from now on.

4

u/Cupcake-Past 29d ago

That is the antithesis of mildly.

3

u/Crash_Unknown 29d ago

Where is this hardware store? Asking for myself

3

u/Kasoni 29d ago

Never getting another since it won't live up to this one?

4

u/Turbulent-Jaguar-909 29d ago

fuck it, the things i'd do for a flinstones push pop

4

u/Elemenop789 29d ago

Always buying popsicles from the hardware store from now on

4

u/Sufy23 29d ago

Penbis

3

u/auntiecoagulent 29d ago

If that is a cremesicle I'm done

5

u/Lvanwinkle18 29d ago

Mildly? That is full on frontal.

4

u/fabposes 29d ago

We have passed mildly

4

u/Description_Friendly 28d ago

Their new slogan is "Always hardware it matters."

4

u/dakotanorth8 28d ago

One pic would have sufficed. 3? Now that’s just playing with it..

…sinner

5

u/TheRickestMort 28d ago

Nah why that shit got veins

4

u/johnmarstonsimp69 28d ago

think youve gone to the wrong subreddit. this is r/mildlypenis. posting actual dick pics here is weird.

4

u/No_Play_7661 28d ago

Nice cock bro.

3

u/Historical_Ad9936 28d ago

I'lL TaKe YoUr eNtIrE StOcK

3

u/RaineCow 28d ago

Violently penis

4

u/eikoebi 28d ago

Put a NSFW tag on that thing! It jump scared me in the bathtub

3

u/Leading_Test_1462 28d ago

Nope, this is maximally penis.

5

u/Knight_Light87 28d ago

C’MON WE’RE EVEN CIRCUMCISING THE POPSICLES?!

4

u/BucketofButterflies 28d ago

This doesn’t belong here. The subreddit is called MILDLY penis, not THIS IS DEFINITELY A PENIS, RIGHT?!

4

u/SayerofNothing 28d ago

Damn, I'm eating that with a knife and fork.

4

u/moots27 28d ago

Not the kinda caulk Im tryna buy from the hardware store

4

u/RedditGarboDisposal 28d ago

That popsicle looks more like a penis than my own penis.

What the fuck??

3

u/Efficient-Hold993 29d ago

And just when i thought i was over them...

3

u/Secret_Fudge6470 29d ago

That’s disgusting. Where?

3

u/Halz1202 29d ago

Pairs nicely with a glazed donut

3

u/shartpants187 29d ago

Veiny triumvirate bastard!

3

u/digitalibex 28d ago

Did you find this in the caulk section?

3

u/yougotyolks 28d ago

If you went there for wood, you certainly got it!!

3

u/eriffodrol 28d ago

that's glorious

for when you want to practice deep throating, and then get rid of the evidence

3

u/Obvious-Big-6111 28d ago

So amateur my luv. I will impart you with a lil wisdom, to go with you cute lil push-up.

Relax the cheeks , quiver the top of your lip (like your taint is being licked by a banshee), Then and only then will you experience a true mind splitting and altering souls will rejoice as the drippings produce visual and auditory hallucinations.

3

u/FilmoreGash 28d ago

Cremesickle no doubt, But only of you lick it right

3

u/CreativeAd5332 28d ago

Enter for caulk, leave with...um...

3

u/MinimumPrevious1139 28d ago

Idk but I'm sure this popsicles comes with testicles

3

u/7_Farty_7 28d ago

Never buying cotton candy from advance auto parts ever again

3

u/pandemicpunk 28d ago

weird al hardware store voice WOULD YOU LOOK AT ALL THOSE TOOLS

3

u/BadLuckLopez 28d ago

I sent you a popsicle pic, please respond.

3

u/Affectionate_Step863 28d ago

okay that's pretty cool but why must my bacon burn?😞

→ More replies (2)

3

u/kEnough_69 28d ago

MYTHICAL FIND

3

u/beenwilliams 28d ago

Hardware store popsicles sound sketchy. Was this a small town Hardware store? I bet 90% of the popsicles have been chillin in the freezer for years. Now if it’s a Bomb Pop or Firecracker (red, white, and blue popsicle) I might partake in trying the Hardware Store popsicle experience again

→ More replies (1)

3

u/malendalayla 27d ago

✨️Bella Swan has entered the chat✨️

3

u/Kreig_Blazcov 25d ago

Taking "melts in your mouth" to a whole new level

5

u/blankinyurblank 29d ago

You kidding? That fella is circumcised and everything.

2

u/wehadthebabyitsaboy 29d ago

I am dying, this is hilarious.

2

u/IceVarious3579 29d ago

Well well well

2

u/queeriequeerio 29d ago

oh it’s definitely hard

→ More replies (1)

2

u/btjk 29d ago

Small cylinder lore.

2

u/Unique-Square-2351 29d ago

Asking for a friend: Can you sue an ice cream company for stealing your likeness?

2

u/PuggyPugPugPug 29d ago

It's a CreamDickle

2

u/Pacoboyd 29d ago

That's not a popsicle, that's a push-in pop, I mean push-up pop.

2

u/rockomeyers 29d ago

Everthing reminds you of him, doesn't it? You should call him. Tell him you are sorry for being so insensitive to his frozen warmth.

2

u/loco_gigo 29d ago

But you ate it didn't ya

2

u/Hmccormack 29d ago

That’s a nice piece of hardware

2

u/SatansGrandson 29d ago

At your service, nah, more like at your cervix!

2

u/TheRabbitPants 29d ago

"What's the matter, dear? You're not eating your cocksicle."

2

u/Vaagfiguur 29d ago

Hehehehehehhe hardware

2

u/fellowwoman 29d ago

That is a full on penis

2

u/RedditModsRSuperUgly 29d ago

Bet that would feel good after a spicy visit to the toilet.

2

u/sum_r4nd0m_gurl 29d ago

puts the hard in hardware

2

u/Arklados 29d ago

This isn’t even mild anymore

2

u/mogentheace 29d ago

i love these sm but if all of mine were shaped like that i think i'd love them more

2

u/Quiet_Tune277 29d ago

Oh my....

2

u/JRTheRaven0111 29d ago

Well that wtas ur mistake... you aksed the guys at the hardware store for a frizen treat... of course theyre gonna give you a tool.

2

u/TechnicalPotat 29d ago

Next time, buy one from the software store.

2

u/GoofyLiLGoblin 28d ago

It's even got the hole and everything!

2

u/mikeyukay 28d ago

I’d eat it

2

u/Garbage_Lady1218 28d ago

Oh my god give me 10

2

u/Mbrayzer 28d ago

Contains Milk*

2

u/DimensionPossible622 28d ago

At least it’s circumcised

→ More replies (1)

2

u/SenseMaximum4983 28d ago

I think thousands would be to differ

2

u/downvote__trump 28d ago

Is that a Flintstones push pop?

2

u/sirfScientist 28d ago

This has left the Mildy catagory a looongggg time ago

2

u/tiffanyjen 28d ago

A penis

2

u/tanngrisnit 28d ago

Looks deliesh!

2

u/Natural_Action9210 28d ago

There is nothing “mild” about this one…

2

u/utspg1980 28d ago

Is that a flinstones pushup pop?!?!?

2

u/InvestmentReal8803 28d ago

Unexpected...

2

u/6thBornSOB 28d ago

Fuck the “mildly”, you say!

2

u/Devils_A66vocate 28d ago

Imagine busting this open at the construction site.

2

u/Dogsteeves 28d ago

Did you just dickpic us

2

u/maxx_the_frog69 28d ago

WOW that is like a replica wtf 😭

2

u/Kyletw15 28d ago

Thought you needed some caulk?

2

u/SuperSocialMan 28d ago

Had to do a double take on this, damn

2

u/TLW369 28d ago

😂🙃

2

u/Retrocop101 28d ago

It's a grower, not a show-er!

2

u/Complex_Chard_3479 28d ago edited 4d ago

zealous innate roof cover hospital hard-to-find juggle ten whole wrench

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/Capital-Western-8552 28d ago

Don't mean to be that guy, but, ummm... das a diccchh.

2

u/ya2050ad1 28d ago

Oh my! It even has veins…

2

u/Legitimate_Let_5641 28d ago

Or... Hear me out, Always buying a popsicle from that hardware store. As an alternative title for this reddit post.

2

u/GameProSmoothie 28d ago

This isn’t even mildly penis, this is just straight up a penis