r/mildlypenis • u/Moist_Cantaloupe5303 • 22d ago

Vegetable Eat your veggies

Post image
4.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

205 comments sorted by

209

u/Dumbass_Saiya-jin 22d ago

I've never deepthroated a carrot before, but when in Rome...

12

u/Dry-Championship-593 21d ago

...I deepthroated a cucumber and it was an amazing experience. I should really try deepthroating a carrot one day.

7

u/NerdyLucas_15 21d ago

You ain't got any shame, huh??

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1

u/FeelingEfficiency680 20d ago

Take it to the dome

147

u/stefferier 22d ago

Don’t know if I should eat it or fuck it 🤔

37

u/Evening_Excuse16 22d ago

I'm pretty sure I know ...

31

u/NMB4Christmas 22d ago

As long as it ends up inside of you...

11

u/AlternativeWood8169 21d ago

from whichever hole

4

u/-Milina 21d ago

I am laughing out loud at his hhahahaa

2

u/stefferier 21d ago

One way of anyone it will end up inside lol

9

u/Optimus-Slime-69 22d ago

well technically you'd be the one getting fucked

6

u/LaxativesAndNap 22d ago

Why not both?

6

u/SheDrinksScotch 21d ago

Fuck, then eat. More flavorful that way.

3

u/LaxativesAndNap 20d ago

She drinks scotch so she obviously knows what she's talking about

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2

u/stefferier 21d ago

Whatever makes you happy and horny 😈

5

u/Awkward-Collection78 22d ago

If you're asking, you already know the answer

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1

u/j3ven 21d ago

We had a fight last night and went to bed angry. She took a cleaver and just chopped that carrot right there.

100

u/Particular-Row5678 22d ago

18

u/ShittinAndVapin 22d ago

Not without a flared base. Safety first.

9

u/Particular-Row5678 22d ago

Wise words.

8

u/ShittinAndVapin 22d ago

I take masturbation/kink safety very seriously. Too many ERs gotta fish unflared objects outta people's butts annually.

3

u/Particular-Row5678 21d ago

I wholeheartedly agree with you. I don't cut corners. 👀

2

u/Outrunning_Lions 21d ago

Unless you gotta make a flared base

7

u/Specialist_Bench_144 22d ago

Shove an onion on the end

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2

u/Artesian_SweetRolls 18d ago

Omg yesterday I randomly had this quote stuck in my head and couldn't for the life of me remember where it was from

39

u/Infamous-Company-329 22d ago

Pardon my ignorance, it seems you misspelt 'sit'

19

u/Supuhstar 22d ago

Eat your sit

4

u/bateen618 21d ago

Eat sit veggies

28

u/NicoleExclaimed 22d ago

Or at least gag on them a little

3

u/dirtcakes 21d ago

I liked this comment a lot

27

u/Edel257 22d ago

Bro, this ain’t mildly penis, this is FDA-approved meat 😭

25

u/[deleted] 22d ago

I don't know if I got horny with my mouth or with my vagina lol

19

u/AradJamel 22d ago

The object women used back in the 1800’s Industrial Revolution

3

u/MysteryofLePrince 22d ago

Don't forget the hidden life of the spinning wheel!

5

u/Temporary_Virus_7509 21d ago

I might regret asking but what is the hidden life of the spinning wheel

2

u/JoeL0gan 18d ago

Please answer

2

u/MysteryofLePrince 17d ago edited 17d ago

Small attached separate wheel covered in leather used for manual stimulation for the ladies, also use as a flagellation device.

18

u/BenNHairy420 22d ago

The satisfaction I would get from eyeing my husband while biting the tip of that off would be hilarious

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10

u/InjectableBacon 22d ago

I think the word you're looking for is "boof"

10

u/Sensitive_Potato333 22d ago

Why is it always the carrots?

7

u/Dark4c1d 22d ago

First do it, then eat it.

5

u/discogenx 22d ago

No Peyroni’s disease there. 😏👍🏻

iykyk.

5

u/Cautious_Mammoth3961 22d ago

I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to eat that… maybe later unless it’s very good 🫣😈

5

u/TribalOrgy 22d ago

Cockrot

5

u/admsjas 22d ago

Nom nom nom

3

u/Schrotti56727 22d ago

Suck your veggies?

5

u/Substantial-Ant-9183 22d ago

Whole foods down the hatch

3

u/Business-Hurry9451 22d ago

You stole Frosty's "other" carrot I see.

4

u/Smokowic 22d ago

Your going on the naughty list

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3

u/Alarmed-Ad-5426 22d ago

There is no way that did not get inserted somewhere!

3

u/AnxiousDepartment365 22d ago

Haha yes please.

3

u/sbray73 21d ago

I was in the kitchen and then I slipped and…

2

u/justicia13 22d ago

Whoa. This one is just perfect 🤣

2

u/heyjalapeno 22d ago

I def need some...umm...fiber.

2

u/127Heathen127 22d ago

I should call him.

2

u/aroseonthefritz 22d ago

Sigh… unzips

2

u/Capital-Western-8552 22d ago

I mean, a woman gave herself an air embolism fucking herself with a carrot. Saw it on 1,000 Ways To Die.

2

u/Glittering_Ad_6546 22d ago

Instructions unclear, the is now a carrot in my ass.

2

u/Ok_Orchid1004 22d ago

You’re keeping that aren’t you?

2

u/BigZaber 21d ago

ribbed for your pleasure

2

u/Breadstix009 21d ago

Omg. Preserve that in resin.

1

u/Economy-Date-4490 22d ago

That thumbnail?

1

u/Royal-Bluez 22d ago

Mind if i borrow that carrot?

1

u/ZuluMakulu 22d ago

Im so sure u didn't eat it straight away. Or these things photoshop?

1

u/Neillboyz_13 22d ago

What the hell 😆

1

u/Awesomeness7716 22d ago

Yummy 🤤

1

u/SheepherderFar1505 22d ago

Oh boy do I ever

1

u/SheepherderFar1505 22d ago

Did you try it?

1

u/imp_PG00 22d ago

The forbidden carot

1

u/_FreddieLovesDelilah 22d ago

The comments are crqacxking me up.

1

u/hatfieldmichael 22d ago

Plant it. Plant it real good.

1

u/BasketPaul_5 22d ago

“One can become too familiar with vegetables you know!”

1

u/himasaltlamp 22d ago

Better than a dlido.

1

u/MaskedAutisticBoy 22d ago

Oh damn….was it good?

1

u/cebiaw 22d ago

Something Something tastes Something girlfriend Something

1

u/NicTheQuic 22d ago

One bite. Go on!

1

u/WickedSmileOn 22d ago

Tell orange Donald to put his pants back on

1

u/Charmer_baby151 22d ago

Give a carrot 🥕 some top

1

u/Myra_Spex 22d ago

Yes Sir!

1

u/Ornge-peel 22d ago

A lonely housewife's dream

1

u/HungryLayer4984 22d ago

Thought that was a real dick when I just saw the top

1

u/Own_Hunter_808 22d ago

I wonder where he's been hiding.

1

u/justalonleygamer 22d ago

for some reason i think i should go on a diet

1

u/A_Fossilized_Skull 22d ago

MAXIMAL penis right there.

1

u/AeronGrey 22d ago

Yes sir.

1

u/Douglas_duh_dragon 22d ago

That's not even mild

1

u/Super_Bakon 22d ago

Gag on them too

1

u/AiGuoDaWang 22d ago

Perfect substitution for vegetarians

1

u/MysteryofLePrince 22d ago

Hey a new series on the Food Network!

1

u/ChargeResponsible112 22d ago

Fast times 😉

1

u/FreeTrialSize 22d ago edited 22d ago

That carrot's going to get glazed.

1

u/Historical_Idea_1686 22d ago

So eat it? Or use it?

1

u/LobsterComfortable83 22d ago

Dame look like me on soft

1

u/Cyrusliu720 22d ago

Gloghgloghgllhhjoglgohjoglhojg…

1

u/Catt_the_cat 22d ago

From which end?? 😳

1

u/davefive 22d ago

i think you mean “ gag your vegetables “

1

u/Analsnogging 22d ago

Piston that thang

1

u/abraham-xe 22d ago

Did keep this for urself?

1

u/DimensionBreaker4lif 22d ago

I’ve never been this horny looking at a carrot before

1

u/ulnek 22d ago

They'll be on your lips one way or another.

1

u/Doc_B81 22d ago

That's going to make spmeone very happy...

1

u/economic_developer69 21d ago

Garls control control!!!!

1

u/jolatango 21d ago

Beyond mildly

1

u/AndySMar 21d ago

How is it being consumed?

1

u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 21d ago

Fancy a rooting?

1

u/AbyssLookingAtYa 21d ago

Yes sir 🫡

1

u/Truthishere1 21d ago

Bro i am vegetarian and now i have lost one more option to eat

1

u/Bornagainchola 21d ago

“Mommy why is there a carrot on your nightstand?”

1

u/MeltedCrayon67 21d ago

It’s circumcised!

1

u/Admirable-Common-176 21d ago

Cue up the training montage music!

1

u/Vegetable-Pipe7545 21d ago

Depending which way it's going in

1

u/SatansPostman 21d ago

That's what I tell the wife to eat her veggies every day. 😂

1

u/DrScottyB 21d ago

Is it going in the mouth?…or…

1

u/bwoods519 21d ago

Wrong sub! You’re looking for r/egregiouslypenis

1

u/TurbulentCranberry20 21d ago

Why the fuck am I jealous of a carrot

1

u/redfish225 21d ago

So did you? Yup, you did.

1

u/Mueryk 21d ago

/r/discworld. Would love this amusingly shaped vegetable

1

u/Acceptable-Sport1877 21d ago

Film protecteur et voilà un joué sexy 🔞😁

1

u/Intrepid-Cycle-3017 21d ago

Well if it isn't the cave carrot from stardew

1

u/Ok_Survey_236 21d ago

Multifunctional

1

u/sleepy__euphoria 21d ago

Suck your veggies

1

u/Spare-Security-1629 21d ago

Why is OP showing their homemade organic dildo? I'm not complaining, I'm just asking.

1

u/AftonsAgony 21d ago

Hubbubuh…

1

u/Weird_Chemical_69 21d ago

I hope you used it before you cooked it. I mean you don't want to pass up the opportunity...

1

u/DanGame427 21d ago

Ok 👍

1

u/Califrisco 21d ago

Video or it didn't happen. 😂

1

u/TonsilKicker 21d ago

Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.

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1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

I know people who would be less bitter If they ate a 12" carrot instead of spending their time thinking of ways of making me miserable

1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

Heavy root

1

u/Lucky_Kiwi4590 20d ago

I do believe every woman can handle this in both ends.

1

u/Awkward727influence 20d ago

Dam ..and I got this baby 🥕
...

1

u/Character_Couple_129 20d ago

Wash them stroking up and down with your hand till the water drips from tip to base.

1

u/SplishslasH8888 19d ago

I bet that carrot is getting a plaster mold n shared. 🤪

1

u/Excellent_Market_806 19d ago

Looks like she’s going to going to the ER for an extraction. “ Dr, I was walking through the kitchen, and I slipped while making a salad”

1

u/Former-Pepper-8409 19d ago

Ya don’t eat that one. It’s a keeper.

1

u/DJDom7 19d ago

Poor carrot plant got a penectomy

1

u/BLADE98X 19d ago

Not that one please, don't make me.

1

u/Character-Log3962 19d ago

Hmmm that looks like a keeper!

1

u/Busy-Hat-5424 19d ago

Oh dear.. 😮‍💨

1

u/Temporary-Pin-320 19d ago

Nope.

Put it back in the fridge.

Dont do it..

You’ll regret it

1

u/PissyBuBuCakes 19d ago

Or.... or... hear me out... fuq em.

1

u/Junkbullet 18d ago

DickCarrot

1

u/drugofchoice76 18d ago

Promote your digestive health. Insert as needed and where preferred.

1

u/incakola777 18d ago

Is it vitamin D or A 😳

1

u/SUPERLOVE-_- 18d ago

I know exactly what she did witt datt Thang!🌝🥕

1

u/Ninja_Assassin244 18d ago

Slob on my knob

1

u/Dapadabada 18d ago

You grew it like this for a reason... I know about this sht...

1

u/Chance-Personality50 18d ago

be in the bathroom for ohh a half hour.

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

My god. I had to zoom in. It almost looked like it was a toy or carved, but, guess not… it’s perfect 😂

1

u/cyberaztech 16d ago

Found in truck stop shower

1

u/That_one_flop 16d ago

You found mamas garden

1

u/External_Bad_9385 13d ago

How does one manage to find this shape of a vegetable