r/natureismetal • u/0thethethe0 • 3d ago
After the Hunt Lion with a Honey Badger in it's mouth
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u/TJWinstonQuinzel 3d ago
What the post doesnt tell you
Thats a youngling and he was able to kill the rest of the pride before this one landed a cheap shot
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u/ExtensionConcept2471 3d ago
Na….its just tired and full after eating the lions mates so told the lion to carry it home……
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u/Anen-o-me 1d ago
Nah, the real story is much sadder. The honey badger family were crossing the road, single file, like a stripe of fuzzy, fearless chaos, and a car came flying around the bend. It hit the baby!
The car bounced off the infant badger, flew fifty feet into the air, flipped three times, and disintegrated against a tree in a fiery explosion that spelled out the word “Regret.”
The honey badger family paused. Mama sniffed the baby, nodded solemnly, and they all continued on, untouched. Except... the baby wasn’t moving.
And that’s where it should have ended. A tragic tale of nature’s toughest creature, bested not by man, but by Newtonian physics and poor tire tread.
But no. Turns out this baby was built like an adamantium raccoon. It stood up 45 minutes later, walked back into the jungle, and spent the next three years training under a Himalayan monk possum named Tenzin.
He mastered 7 of the 9 forbidden martial arts (he skipped yoga and interpretive dance), could hold his breath for 27 minutes, and once chewed through an entire aluminum stop sign just to win a staring contest with a Komodo dragon.
He earned the name Bludspawn, and he wore it with pride.
Fast-forward. A pride of lions, your typical jacked-up, sunbathing Instagram models of the savannah, start acting cute. Playing tough. Roaring at gazelles.
Bludspawn doesn't like that.
He walks into their territory with nothing but a lopsided grin and a grudge.
What happens next is best described by the BBC narrator who survived: "It was like watching a blender fight a bowl of spaghetti."
Tufts of fur rained from the sky. A hippo ran away crying. One lion tried to climb a tree and exploded.
Only the alpha male was left. He begged for mercy.
Bludspawn leaned in, whispered, “No kings.
Then... fade to black.
But... plot twist. Just as Bludspawn turned to walk off into the sunset with a toothpick and jazz music playing in the background, a giraffe, who’d been watching from a hot air balloon, discarded a coconut from 300 feet up.
Direct hit.
Bludspawn never saw it coming.
Cut to: a photo of the alpha lion, now emotionally shattered but physically intact, gently holding Bludspawn’s body in his mouth. Not as a trophy, but in stunned reverence.
The caption reads:
“I don’t even know what I just lived through.”
And neither do we, Simba. Neither do we.
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u/Ali_Gator_2209 3d ago edited 3d ago
I’m sure it’s the Honey Badger who has the lion in it‘s mouth. It just looks different due to the size ratio
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u/vshawk2 3d ago
Honey badger don't give a shit.
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u/Givespongenow45 3d ago edited 2d ago
This joke is dragged so much. Edit: downvoted for saying the truth
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u/xleftonreadx 2d ago
Just like the honeybadgers loose neck skin that it will use to bit the lion the moment it gets the chance
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u/Luthiffer 2d ago
Honey badger didn't hear no bell. Honey badger doesn't give a shit. Honey badger gonna fight like hell for the sake of the fight.
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u/Shuttle_Door_Gunner 3d ago
"No, nonononooo!!! I give SO many fucks right now!"
- Honey badger in lion's mouth (probably).
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u/AvaLLove 3d ago
Im not sure why my brain added an “r” after the “o” in “honey”, but I definitely had to read that twice.
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u/WaitingForPower 3d ago
I’m just sitting here hearing Scrappy Doo’s voice say Let me at em Let me at em
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u/PuddinMyPuddin 2d ago
That's not a Lion with a Honey Badger in its mouth... It's a Honey Badger with a Lion on its neck.
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u/PRGrl718 3d ago
is that a female lion? I've never seen one with a mane.
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u/Low_Simple_8381 3d ago
Males aren't born with a mane, they have to grow them. Juveniles look scruffy like this.
Unless it is one of the females in the Botswana pride that grew manes due to hormone imbalances.
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u/blametheboogie 2d ago
Now I want to ask the lion if honey badgers taste like honey?
I bet they do.
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u/ravenous_fringe 1d ago
Never seen one of those honey badgers defeated. Just a juvenile, by the looks of it.
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u/Still-Pudding-1638 1d ago
Male lions are known to eat honey badgers if they are really desperate for food. Honey badgers are also known to fend off lions, it’s never fatal, it’s usually just a few scratches to the big cat. This particular photo seems to be a young male lion who caught a young male honey badger. The wild…
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u/Inevitable-Home7639 10h ago
The lion was allowed to pick out his final resting place, the hb didn't want to waste the energy walking while the lion was making his decision
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u/Borderlinecuttlefish 3d ago
After the lion shits him out, he'll be fine