I'm frightened, and I cannot seem to get ahead of the fear.

[u/BC_Arctic_Fox]

I (55+F) currently live with my 80+yr old mother, in a 600sq ft 2 bedroom house. Her mental gears are slipping, she needs cataract surgery for both eyes, and her hearing is gone. She's always been peculiar, and they have amplified as she's aged. Currently, she's packed up most of her things because she seriously believes that she's "moving to a better place" within a couple of months. Financially, neither of us are in a good position, which is a large part of why we're sharing space. Her upcoming move is completely dependent upon some unforeseen financial windfall that's on its way to her; a theme present in her life for at least 40yrs, though I've not seen it at this level.

Living with her again is the biggest gift and challenge of my life. All mother/daughter relationships are complicated, as is ours.

We're Canadian, living in BC on Vancouver Island, and I'm so scared about what's happening in this political climate, I was crying earlier. How long will powerful men piss on each other's shoes with this tariff war before real action starts?

I grew up post Cuban Missile Crisis, during the Cold War - I truly believed that there was going to be nuclear war. Russia and the US were enemies, and it was scary, and shit was real. Then the USSR fell, relations improved, and life continued.

Now, they're buddies. Russia and the US.

And the orange man has openly declared he wants my country, and I'm seriously terrified. I cannot convince my mom to leave with me off of Vancouver Island; it's my prediction that this is where he'll start. Take Vancouver Island by cutting off BC Ferries, and the Queen Charlottes, then he has a way to Alaska without interference. BC's capital city is the southern tip of Vancouver Island - almost directly across from Seattle. Take the Island and you have BC. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And who could stop him?

Mom & I live in a rental relying exclusively on hydro for heat and cooking. I talked to the landlord last night, asking for an alternative heat/cook source but "insurance is too high" to cover either a propane heater or wood burning stove. The property has its own septic and well water systems, relying on electricity. No hydro = no clean water, no heat, no cook source, no flush toilet.

Imo, we need to become far more self-reliant to weather through this upcoming socioeconomic period we're entering. Alternative electric sourcing, even. Solar, wind, and running water (there's a creek running through the property) are all options but are costly. And this is not my property - we rent.

I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of what's coming and I don't know how I'm going to prepare.

Currently, I'm reading about homesteading skills like gardening in pots, sewing, canning, fermenting, and dehydrating. Skills that my ancestors used for hundreds of years but was not passed down to me (back to Mom being peculiar), that I feel are rising in importance.

Please, anything you feel like sharing, I'm open to reading! Thank you.

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[u/AnnieB512]

First of all, take a breath. I hate the orange buffoon too. But you cannot let him live inside your brain 24/7. Baby steps. If your mom has dementia, it maybe time to see about putting her in a memory care center. I'm not from Canada, so I don't know how things work there. Is there any government coverage for that sort of thing? If so, maybe find a place other than Vancouver island to place her and the. Move somewhere close so you can spend all of the time with her that you want. That should ease both your minds.

[u/slimmer01]

I know it's hard but you need to stop worrying about all the "what ifs" concerning the political landscape. Literally anything could happen or not happen, but worrying about it is only lowering the quality of your life. Shit's gonna happen either way.

[u/BC_Arctic_Fox → u/slimmer01]

Yes! You're right! I gave my head a good shake earlier - no point in worrying

[u/slimmer01 → u/BC_Arctic_Fox]

I struggle with it too, I know it's hard. Good luck to you and your mother

[u/BC_Arctic_Fox → u/slimmer01]

Yesterday, I went to my favourite beach. Because of the layers of volcanic rock and boulders and sheer time, it's like being in a different world. Somehow seeing how time and ocean waves carved those magnificent rock formations is comforting to me, especially with the sounds and smells of the area. I had forgotten to do the things that bring me joy - getting outside in nature - and lost sight of the bigger picture.

It's a beautiful world, and I get to be a part of it. I get to experience it through all of my senses, and whatever I focus on gets bigger. I'm choosing better thoughts and better sights, experiencing nature, and I know everything will just be what it is.

Not every day is good, but there's good in every day! Best of everything to you as well

[u/slimmer01 → u/BC_Arctic_Fox]

Thank you for sharing that ❤️

[u/Daedalhead]

I live just South of you in WA.

The screaming carrot & the muskrat have me terrified because I am disabled & know enough about Aktion T4 & project 2025 to know they will come for people like me first.

The dastardly duo & the Republican admin have a lot to do while they dismantle our country. He's focused on Greenland & Ukraine much more than Canada at the moment, as far as I can tell.

I know it can be difficult, and please do not take this as invalidation of your feelings or concerns, but I think you are letting yourself get wound up because you are overwhelmed. It's so, so, so easy to do-I'm struggling with this myself. However, I see this as more of a pre-ww2 germany than missile crisis at present, and neither of us can do anything about that.

I would suggest you start with the immediate issues in front of you. Your mom. How are you doing with being her carer? Do you have connections with friends or family with regards to her care? Are you involved with any type of caretaker support group? Do you feel you can still manage her care on your own? What is the point at which the answer to that is no?

I would suggest writing all of this out, finding a support group for adult caretakers of parents (there's lots of options, including some apps), and just work out a plan. Get help doing so if you can, even if that's just someone to help you talk through your options/feelings/&c. If you have access to therapy & are not already doing so, start. Therapy can make a world of difference when you are dealing with anxiety and general overwhelm.

By all means, being prepared for hard times is not a bad idea, but remember that it takes research, time, and resources. There are some good books out there, and if you tread lightly, some reddit groups that can point you towards solid information (ie books not written by AI &/or who are going to tell you to fill your back yard with tim foil to confuse the [insert q-anon conspiracy theory here], or that you'll be fine eating nothing but grass and crabapples).

One. Thing. At. A. Time.

And Breathe.

These are the things I tell myself every day. I am back on daily anxiety meds (while I can get them), and while I hate having to do it, I'm also not breaking down in anxiety-attack tears every day, either. And the truth is, until you get your anxiety under control, you won't really be able to do anything but be ruled by anxiety. It's a vicious circle.

I also do regular news blackouts & have friends who know if something happens that I need to know, that they just need to pop me a text & make sure I'm aware.

I'm also completely off soc media except here & ttok, but I am not here daily & ttok is 2x/wk max. I also set timers, so I don't get sucked in & spiral for hours.

Make sure you get outside for a bit each day, not for any specific reason (errands/appointments/work, &c), but just to be outside.

This is the one luxury I cannot always accomplish, because sometimes I'm just too unwell to leave my apartment. If that's not the case for you, make sure to get out for a technology-free walk.

My substitute is to put in noise-cancelling earbuds, put on an eye mask, get comfy & immerse myself in rain sounds, or music, or even just breathing exercises.

Make time for self care every day. That can be reading, listening to a fun non-news podcast or audiobook, doing foot care, watching a show or movie-whatever.

Give yourself time to disengage.

Lastly, my friend sent me an invite to an app called finch that I highly reccomend. It's a fun self-care app/game, and there's a sub here for folks that use it. It's helped. (Actually, I can't really reccomend it highly enough, & no-no one's paying me to say that).

Remember: you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. It's why the flight attendants tell you to put on your mask first,before you help others put on theirs.

Remember you are not alone, even if it feels like it. If there is anything that has proven true, it is that making people feel afraid & alone & threatened is how authoritarian gov'ts gain and keep power. We overcome this by sticking together & watching out for each other. And isn't that what we're doing? Right here, right now?

Breathe. (Hugs, if you want 'em).❤️

[u/BC_Arctic_Fox → u/Daedalhead]

Thank you.

Thank you for your compassionate, helpful response. I had to take stock of what I've been doing for self care, and I've slipped recently. It would certainly help explain the general feelings of being overwhelmed.

Today I took myself to my favourite beach, and enjoyed the fresh ocean air. Nature nurtures! I'll be making more of an effort to improve general thought patterns - I have an appointment with the therapist tomorrow.

And meditation. I had stepped away but it's time to do it again! Thank you for your kindness - you sincerely helped

[u/RainyLark]

Alright here it goes, from a woman raised off the grid in Native American culture where we did sew, can, hand wash, dry, raise, butcher, cultivate everything you can think of.

You need about three good skills, the ability to communicate well, and the rest will fall into place- why? Because deep down, in our blood, at the source of humanity, is the fact we depended on each other to breath, live, and survive from birth all through the past until maybe just very very recently. It's abnormal to be so separated- so when actual crisis happen, guess what really happens? People's "instincts" kick in instantly- they band together with an iron force of God and will naturally to solve the inescapable problem. When you insert us vs them, it changes people at a primal level. You don't work alone, you work in the tribe- so you do what you do the best and contribute that to whoever is around, and they take care of you too.

You can see it everyday by looking at any crisis in action. In my country, USA, the towers fell and everyone stopped being rivals and no matter race or creed, had this instant connection until it blew over and everyone went back to ridged city culture.

So even if you didn't move, if poop hit the fan, things would change so fast that the rules and boundaries move to as to who "owns" water, and so on. Someone in your tribe will know how to make heat, someone will know how to tend wounds, or navigate, or what to eat. You can help care for children while others do work, or cook what people bring, it would be alright. :)

Only you can decide about the current non hypothetical situations though- and the reason I take your question seriously is my parents were raised in the great depression so it's passed down to me to live with the now, with the tech (I'm a developer), but have the ability to adjust if need be. We could go outside right now, walk into the woods, and be just fine with our family if need be.

[u/BC_Arctic_Fox → u/RainyLark]

Thank you for your compassionate response, absolutely reminding me of community interdependence. I'm truly surrounded by beautiful people, and we all have something to give.

These I know to be true - I'm authentic, well spoken, and highly resourceful. I've stopped staring into what I cannot change, and I'm remembering I live in paradise. Worry is just taking my joy out of today; which I remembered once I got back outdoors. I started seeing the majesty, nature waking for the new season. Earlier this afternoon, two eagles were flying right above me, likely a mated pair reunited to start another generation. I watched a huge slug meander across the path I left in the long dewy grass, and a small butterfly happily dined on the Hyacinths.

We're going to be OK. I remembered that it's not my life, it's that I get to experience life with all its gorgeous contrasts and experiences. So much to learn!

[u/RainyLark → u/BC_Arctic_Fox]

This was beautiful to read, thanks for replying to let us know you're alright. Very wise. Blessed be!!

[u/curkington]

Pellet stoves are a safe source of heat and they shouldn't affect your insurance at all.

[u/BC_Arctic_Fox → u/curkington]

Fantastic idea!

[u/LathyrusLady]

I am pretty sure if you asked the average American what the capital of British Columbia is they would say Vancouver. Most people have never even heard of Victoria. I'm not even sure Trump and his supporters would know what British Columbia is at all. I wouldn't worry too much about the US coming for the island. Take care of yourself!

[u/Major-Cranberry-4206]

As uncertain as things may look, with this guy and his ego talking about taking over countries, it's not going to happen. Should Trump actually make moves to take over any NATO country including Canada, NATO will not stand idly by. He runs the risk of igniting WWIII. I don't see that happening.

"Now, they're buddies. Russia and the US."

This is false. It's Trump trying to be like Putin, not the US buddies with Russia. By the way, it's true that the people of the US have no issues with the people of Russia. In fact, a lot of Russians have moved to the US because it's a better place to live than Russia. But the two countries are not "buddies."

The people of the US have no issues with our northern neighbors, the Canadians neither. We have a lot of Canadians here also for the same reasons we have Russians, Greeks, French, Africans, nearly every race of people are represented here in the US, because despite the current president, the US is still one of the best places to live.

The US will not be taking over Canada, nor any other country. A lot of this is empty rhetoric. While the tariffs are real, they will prove to be disastrous for the US economy, and will likely go when Trump goes, which I don't think will be very long from now. I don't think he will be in office for the full four years.