There's actually a version that's commonly used for people with alzheimers to keep them from dialing out to random-ass people or calling people in the middle of the night.
This reminds me of my time working in a bookstore. There was a caller everyone called "Water Polo". He was clearly someone with a condition, perhaps Downs, perhaps something else. He ring us up, and immediately ask in a loud voice, "HELLO! DO YOU HAVE THE WATER POLO MAGAZINE IN?! THE JULY ISSUE?!?" He couldn't be more specific than that, though. Sometimes it would be a different sports related topic, but he'd always ask on topics, not magazine titles. Asking him for more details or trying to get him to talk about something else usually just made him repeat the question, and hanging up on him would just get a return call. Everybody hated getting calls from him, because they couldn't talk to him and felt that he'd waste their time.
Me? I loved that guy. It was a terrible point in my life, a lot of things going wrong. But when Water Polo called, he was always so damned happy. And I interrupted a coworker who was fed up with the calls, and asked to handle it. He burst out with his usual requests, and I simply told him, "Yessir, we got it!" And you just go along with him, cheerfully confirming his questions, and he'd only ask about 3 or 4 mags, then he yell, "Thank you have a great day!" and he'd hang up and not call back for several days sometimes a couple of weeks. It got to where my coworkers would put the guy on hold and have me take the call just to keep him under wraps. And I was happy to have a pleasant and positive conversation with someone uncomplicated like that. I kinda miss him. Never found out who he was, though someone from his care facility called to apologize, and I told them no, it was quite pleasant, and if he sneaks in another phone call again, I would not rat him out. That got a laugh out of her, too. I did get a few more calls from him after that, too, and when I left, I told my trainees how to handle him if they get a call from the famous, the happy, Mr. Water Polo.
Me: "Thank you for calling (book store), Billazilla speaking, how can I help you?"
Water Polo: "HELLO! DO YOU HAVE THE WATER POLO MAGAZINE?"
Me: "Yes, we do!"
WP: "THE JULY ISSUE?"
Me: "Yessir!"
WP: "WHERE'S THE WATER POLO MAGAZINE AT?"
Me: "It's in the newsstand!"
Repeat this exact exchange for the "Fitness Swimmer", "Soccer Football", and "Fitness Runner" magazines, and he would close out the call and be satisfied for a while. There was a rhythm and cadence to this exchange, almost a call-and-response thing. I found the whole deal to be both amusing and wholesome.
We've got one for my dad that's just getting into the really unpredictable stages of dementia. His brothers/sisters can still call him, but he can't call out, because there's no telling what he'll do with the ability to call out.
When he was able to call out, if he's having a good day, he might call his brother and talk to him. If he's having a bad day, he might call 911 and tell them he's being beaten because he wanted McDonalds at 1 in the morning and no one would go get it, because even if they were willing, the nearest McDonalds that's open at 1 in the morning is 180 miles round trip. (That could've been a real problem if we hadn't known the deputy that got sent out to check on him.)
It lets them retain some of their ability to socialize while kinda limiting their ability to do damage.
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u/Seldarin 5d ago
These are used quite a bit in the US, too.
There's actually a version that's commonly used for people with alzheimers to keep them from dialing out to random-ass people or calling people in the middle of the night.