CIA UNCOVERS CHINESE PLOT TO SIT BACK AND WATCH U.S. DESTROY ITSELF

[u/Damariobros]

[u/Tentativ0]

... I think that Onion is giving true news since Trump risen 

[u/darkhorse7447 → u/Tentativ0]

This,coincidentally,is also the Russian plot.

[u/SaccharineDaydreams → u/darkhorse7447]

They're not sitting back, they're actively engaging in it

[u/darkhorse7447 → u/SaccharineDaydreams]

True.And on many levels.

[u/MrDurden21 → u/Tentativ0]

Sadly this headline isn’t satire

[u/Britannkic_ → u/Tentativ0]

The Onion hasn’t changed its reporting policy, its reality that has pivoted to The Onions sphere

[u/[deleted] → u/Tentativ0]

Yes, accurate. Best they say and do nothing as Field Marshal Bone Spurs will implode the whole 250 year deal, before they can hit that magical 250.

[u/-ghostinthemachine-]

This existed for Al Qaeda back in the day...

"FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States"

https://theonion.com/fbi-uncovers-al-qaeda-plot-to-just-sit-back-and-enjoy-c-1819576375/

And you know what? 10 years later they were pretty much correct. One of the most successful terrorist attacks in history, and we're still collapsing!

[u/MrSoup678 → u/-ghostinthemachine-]

You know something's wrong with USA, where even islamistic vagabonds would do nothing.

And with the air of nonchalance no less.

[u/State_Dear]

LAUGHING MY ASS OFF,,.

[u/Everything54321]

There’s no Chinese plot. America is just imploding in on itself due to voting in a deranged old man unfit to lead and backed by a ship of fools! The world is just shaking their heads at this circus.

[u/AcanthocephalaNo5889 → u/Everything54321]

This. China is just waiting to pick up the pieces

[u/Darth_Plagiarize → u/Everything54321]

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." -Napoleon Bonaparte

[u/RoyalBack3095]

Written by Sun Tzu 

[u/Only-Walrus5852]

There’s no plot lol United States of Russia is imploding itself

[u/armchair_amateur → u/Only-Walrus5852]

thats_the_joke.gif

[u/MushyLopher]

The Chinese counterfeited my plan.

[u/emptycup000]

What CIA ?

[u/Existing-Decision-33 → u/emptycup000]

Culinary Institute of America.

[u/Dontnotlook]

Spat my tea out ...

[u/Electrical-Echo8770]

Really they don't have to do much with all the people in the country that can't unite . The people that are always complaining are the ones that are doing the damage .if everyone could actually agree on one dam thing it would be a mile stone . I don't know how old all you are but there used to be a day that Republican and demarcates actually agreed on shit they just all say with their thumbs up their a***s and didn't do anything about it except for crap like DARE and the war on drugs which didn't do a dam but of good now did it

[u/Electrical-Echo8770]

Let me guess flowers by Irene ( FBI ) are laughing their asses off on this one watching the shit crumble

[u/rixster64]

What's to uncover, that's everyone's plan

[u/geofabnz]

The onion bit is it’s China not Russia

[u/Orion-999]

Like they were going to stop us from doing just that.?

[u/Euphoric-Agent-476]

And Russia and Iran and Panama and Denmark and Germany and Ukraine and North Korea and…

[u/Far_Out_6and_2]

Everybody is doing the same just sayin

[u/Munbos61]

Okay, these are getting better by the day and some suck me in. Thanks all.

[u/Tmelrd275]

We still have a CIA?

[u/Tmelrd275]

I'm waiting for "In shock move JD Vance turns from heel to good guy, wipes eyeliner off."

[u/toyegirl1]

A Dramady

[u/Expert_Security3636]

That is actually a good strategy l

[u/Laymanao]

Those dastardly US bandits. The US has self destructed before the plan could be initiated.

[u/fonaldduck099]

To paraphrase, never interfere with your enemy when they are fucking up.

[u/BlindGuy68]

dont you mean - as trump destroys the U S

[u/Chrissylumpy21]

Don’t think this is fake news at all. Also can replace China with Russia and it’d still be realer than real.

[u/leona_mary]

Well that is exactly what is happening right now their just going to watch after all how many Asian countries have been trode on by military action from the US. Your government's did this to this to themselves, China they don't have a reason to give a shit what the US is doing to itself.

[u/picawo99]

And no China alone but with best Korea and soviet russia

[u/YugoCommie89]

Do nothing. Win.

[u/BrexitReally]

Unites States Soviet Republic - USSR

[u/Glittering-Age-9549]

THE FIENDS!!!!

[u/smcorc]

I can’t tell if these headlines are true or not anymore.

[u/Wise_Ad_253]

Russian Spy doesn’t sneak into the Whitehouse.

[u/Yuevid_01]

The art of doing nothing - Sun Tzu

[u/No-Expression-2404]

Typical Chinese espionage. Uncover the blueprints for my approach to watching the U.S. destroy itself and put out a Cheap knockoff of it.

[u/Prince_Nadir]

As has hopefully already been noted, that is an actual Onion headline that has been copied.

https://theonion.com/fbi-uncovers-al-qaeda-plot-to-just-sit-back-and-enjoy-c-1819576375/

[u/Overall-Bat-4332]

I uncovered this plot on nov 4th.

[u/Snowvid2021]

It's working

[u/FriendZone53]

Trump is dating China’s BFF Russia and calling China names. I hate to say it but Trump might defeat China with these 4D chess moves.

[u/Lounge-AliVe → u/FriendZone53]

You lost the game before your first move by believing that Agent 4547 has an interest in anything other than his own pathetic self

[u/FriendZone53 → u/Lounge-AliVe]

My friend, it’s a joke. 🍻

[u/Lounge-AliVe → u/FriendZone53]

I’m not ur friend; I don’t know you; and , we’ll not have our own President make a joke of our country. He may do that to himself ( he doesn’t have to try hard ) but it in our house