r/politics • u/newsweek ✔ Newsweek • 1d ago

Elon Musk lost $11B after Trump's tariffs—and he wasn't the biggest loser

https://www.newsweek.com/musk-bezos-zuckerberg-losses-trump-tariffs-2055255
7.7k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Drolb 1d ago

I don’t know, a guy who lost 15 billion but still has a working penis is probably less of a loser than Musk

163

u/juiceboxedhero Colorado 1d ago

Probably used the wrong glue on his dick implant 

25

u/Dick_snatcher 1d ago

You're supposed to use wood glue, he probably went with gorilla glue

8

u/juiceboxedhero Colorado 1d ago

He probably sniffed the glue which is why he can't string a sentence together anymore.

5

u/Ace_Robots 1d ago

But he can sure hail a cab.

1

u/david4069 1d ago

Are you implying that he is hung like a gorilla?

1

u/Dick_snatcher 1d ago

I appreciate the tiny dick joke

37

u/ripelivejam 1d ago

His penis? To shreds, you say...

13

u/JenkDraws 1d ago

Tsk tsk tsk, well hows his wife holding up?

11

u/n-b-rowan 1d ago

To shreds, you say?

31

u/EggsceIlent 1d ago

Don't know how much he lost yesterday, but someone posted he loses like 1 billion for every $2.49 or something the stock drops.

So I'm assuming 11 billion was yesterday.

Today it's (last I checked) lost another $20 that that's closing on another $10 billion

🤣 Guy literally put a shotgun in his own face and pulled the trigger destroying his brand by lifting his mask and showing us the real elon.

I'm amazed the board hasn't called a no confidence vote by now

27

u/DoctorGregoryFart 1d ago

A guy with 15 bucks and a working penis is less of a loser than Musk.

12

u/TheMolluskPod 1d ago

Hey, did you just call me?

7

u/HarvesterConrad 1d ago

Sorry no he said “…working penis”

2

u/TheMolluskPod 1d ago

Oh, its down there dickn around doing something. It’s hardly working.

11

u/rupeshjoy852 New Jersey 1d ago

Is this botched surgery rumor real or just a rumor? Just curious.

16

u/ThePhysicistIsIn 1d ago

It was confirmed by his ex, but that doesn't answer the question. No one knows.

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u/rhaeja69 1d ago

it was confirmed by azealia banks as well, which is all the proof we need

2

u/Ferbtastic 1d ago

I haven’t heard any credible evidence disputing it.

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u/LashlessMind 1d ago

I've lost about $190k since the Trump Tax was announced. I suspect I'm a lot worse off, relatively speaking, than the nazi is :(

It doesn't help that I'm retiring at the end of the month, and seeing the money you're counting on suddenly disappear is pretty alarming.

3

u/sinisterfaceofwoke 1d ago

I can't even imagine the state of his bladder after all that K. Money can't fix that either

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u/Drolb 1d ago

He really does have a face that looks like it’s always in a k-hole

1

u/Cyber_Angel_Ritual Virginia 1d ago

Eh, this will all bite Trump in the butt and he won't like it. A 14 year old can make better economical decisions than this poo for brains.