r/slaythespire 16d ago

DISCUSSION what the fuck is her problem?

Post image
1.9k Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

698

u/SynonymGraham 16d ago

Probably friends with the book of stabbing

218

u/eff_assess Ascension 13 16d ago

as i’ve said elsewhere in this subreddit, i headcanon them as former ex-lovers, even

217

u/Panik_attak 16d ago

She's actively pregnant with book of stabbings babies. She's giving birth mid fight that's where all the daggers come from...

119

u/eff_assess Ascension 13 16d ago

One might ask: How do a woman and a haunted book procreate? Well, life, uhhh, finds a way!

(or should I say… “Knife finds a blade”?)

27

u/Advocate_Diplomacy 15d ago

The same way ticks do. They just stab it into their abdomen.

33

u/DDemoNNexuS 15d ago

so... book of stabbing has always been trying to get me pregnant?

29

u/Advocate_Diplomacy 15d ago

That’s more like dirking off.

8

u/NeptuneDreaming 15d ago

This is the best thread I've seen in a long time 😅

6

u/VikingCreed 15d ago

I'm reporting Book to HR then for sexual assault

That'll teach the bastard

4

u/FDRpi 15d ago

Throw the book at 'em!

16

u/CatoTheStupid Ascended 16d ago

Welp we’re going to get a very detailed drawing of the conception any time now.

4

u/SuperSocialMan 15d ago

Can you not?

2

u/PhantomLord_33 15d ago

This is my new headcanon. 🤣

34

u/Alarming-Gap-9213 16d ago

Would that make them...current lovers?

34

u/eff_assess Ascension 13 16d ago

Correct, they’re messy and toxic the way they keep getting back together

13

u/Alarming-Gap-9213 16d ago

I absolutely love it

4

u/LokisDawn 15d ago

Let a Girl have fun get Stabbed.

At least she can take what she dishes out.

13

u/FishTure Ascension 20 16d ago

Good god... imagine the finger blasting Book of Stabbing could give you! Keep that book away from your girlfriends fellas

20

u/lego-my-ahegao 15d ago

The Book of Stabbing is Reptomancer's Diary.

1

u/aquirkyaquarius 14d ago

no i think she’s probably friends with benefits with book of stabbing. except book of stabbing is more like fingers of stabbing instead

933

u/retro_throwaway1 16d ago

My Aunt Lucy was like this. We thought it was a phase.

I remember at Thanksgiving my Uncle Frank said "hey, with all those floating knives maybe you can help carve up the turkey!" She stabbed him.

2

u/Euphoric_Coconut2095 14d ago

Bro I can't breath 🤣

306

u/PineApple_Papy 16d ago

Her problem is the lack of AoE damage in my builds

82

u/Feet_with_teeth 16d ago

Seems more like a you problem...

That also happen to be a me problem

87

u/EshinX 16d ago

She’s a sssssnake

15

u/Atillion Ascension 19 16d ago

🎵Ooooh look into her eyes 🎶

10

u/Affectionate-Bag-459 16d ago

She’s been telling lies.

87

u/WeenisWrinkle 16d ago

She was great until we went to A18 together and then suddenly she just LOST her shit and started summoning double daggers out of nowhere

72

u/fps916 16d ago

Remember when she was a hallway fight and the status card her minions gave was burn not wound?

Yeah that was fucked up

42

u/SAI_Peregrinus 16d ago

Ascension 21: All status cards are now Burns.

18

u/Collective-Bee 15d ago

Better than voids.

11

u/SAI_Peregrinus 15d ago

That's A22, obviously.

9

u/comewititnow 15d ago

Medical Kit jumps to S-tier

2

u/drewbert Eternal One 13d ago

Makes pyramid a lot better too.

1

u/ThunderHenry Eternal One + Heartbreaker 15d ago

From a tier to s tier

11

u/PineApple_Papy 16d ago

I remember I used to encounter her alot more when I only played on my console a few years ago and hated tf out of her. Thank god they put her in the elite pool instead

3

u/SuperSocialMan 15d ago

Jesus Christ, I think I'd suppressed that from my memory.

1

u/blahthebiste 15d ago

She was way weaker back then, no?

294

u/Present_Toe_3972 16d ago

I CAN FIX HER

106

u/cheezzy4ever Ascension 20 16d ago

I can fix her, but whatever's wrong with her is way hotter

37

u/BouldersRoll 16d ago

Love a woman with two toes.

24

u/halo364 15d ago

And like, so many knives

16

u/Bern_Down_the_DNC Ascension 17 16d ago

It's a version of the Watcher that died in the spire and got revived and transformed into that, right? We just need to get the snake skin off of her lol

33

u/My_compass_spins 16d ago

I think you're thinking of Time Eater. To my knowledge, there's no lore association between Watcher and Reptomancer.

30

u/djfl 16d ago

You just read it!

0

u/Bern_Down_the_DNC Ascension 17 15d ago

Not everything is going to be stated outright. But Reptobabe has blue hair and it looks like she is blind as well.

I also thought Nemesis was a another version of Silent or something. And I'm sure I've seen some monster with left over parts of Defect.

106

u/MDhaviousTheSeventh Ascension 20 16d ago

I CAN MAKE HER WORSE

22

u/seth1299 Eternal One + Heartbreaker 16d ago

Based

10

u/_ArsenioBillingham_ 16d ago

FREAKY DEAKY

33

u/SpiffyShindigs 16d ago

Mother is mothering. Let her be.

22

u/Whooterzoot 16d ago

🐍🗡💃💅✨️✨️✨️

9

u/El_Zarco 15d ago

Live Laugh Kill

1

u/TheTitanDenied 15d ago

She can mother elsewhere! ☹️

34

u/hitchhiker1701 16d ago

She dresses up as a snake and is obsessed with swords. I see nothing suspicious here.

15

u/superfly306 Eternal One + Heartbreaker 16d ago

She’s not the one with the problem. If you could summon ghost knives you’d think it was hilarious, too.

30

u/Fargrond Ascension 6 16d ago

You. That's why she merc'd you turn 2, right?

6

u/That_One_Guy54 16d ago

Fashion. The concept of fashion is her problem

15

u/Dead_Iverson 16d ago

Dr Seuss lookin ass elite

13

u/Salty_Atmosphere_900 16d ago

She lives in the spire with no shoes, have you seen what passes for legoes there? Youd also be in murderous rage...

7

u/Wookie_Nipple 16d ago

Shes upset Skeletor fired her

9

u/CatoTheStupid Ascended 16d ago

She’s just too hot to handle

2

u/E-Vladimir Ascension 20 16d ago

Too violent

5

u/UselessRutabaga 16d ago

Wait, she has legs?

11

u/E_102_Gamma Eternal One 16d ago

The blindness of StS players never ceases to amaze.

3

u/ErebusDL 16d ago

She just wants to show you her cool knives.

3

u/jeff0 15d ago

Cutco?

10

u/space_ghost4 16d ago

Not being my wife

3

u/Logvin 16d ago

You know how sometimes your toes cramp and your big toe spreads apart from the toe next to it painfully?

Look at her back leg!

3

u/EnormousIsErratic 16d ago

The opposite of furry is a scaley

3

u/DavidTJLS 16d ago

Wants to boogie, no disco ball in room.

3

u/OpticalPirate 15d ago

You trying to slay her spire bro.

3

u/SuperSocialMan 15d ago

I always forget how goofy some of the character designs look lol.

But she's just a bitch for the love of the game.

2

u/Ok_Consideration_142 16d ago

OP did you get killed on the second turn

2

u/Practical_Secret7239 16d ago

Ong gng ts pmo gng

2

u/Mango2422 16d ago

I love giving her my endless deck

2

u/CopyPasteCliche 16d ago

She is not like other girls. She has...

SNAKE ARMS.

2

u/poop_magoo 16d ago

I'd be pissed too if I had made a series of decisions that led to me having to wear some shitty serpent body suit around.

2

u/cyprinusDeCarpio 15d ago

She's kinda bad tho

2

u/Stabaobs 15d ago

She got kicked out of her party because despite being called "Reptomancer", all she can do is summon infinite flying swords.

2

u/MFcakeparty 15d ago

Quaaludes.

5

u/rnzz 16d ago

She's a man-eater

2

u/TheLost_Chef 16d ago

Whoa-oh there she goes... watch out boy, she'll chew you up!

2

u/God_Of_Doubt 16d ago

Swiggity swabby, Get ready for stabby

2

u/Cool-Escape2986 Eternal One + Heartbreaker 16d ago

Looks like someone finally hit A18 (if not, you're in for a good time)

1

u/MTaur 16d ago

Been wearing the same pajamas for a month and you're all up in her cozy business. idk what to tell you. You did this to yourself.

1

u/basafo 16d ago

What the problem is her fuck?

1

u/Diligent_Sea_3359 16d ago

Ssshesss jussst a sssssilly sssssneaky ssssnake

1

u/Stonewyvvern 16d ago

Nagas are evil by default.

1

u/The-Friendly-Autist Eternal One + Heartbreaker 16d ago

Unfortunately, I think she's just like that, no problem

1

u/ThingsOfThatNaychah 16d ago

Everything about her is phallic.

1

u/FinalMonarch 16d ago

Not me taking every immolate I see and never having an issue with her

1

u/Real_Mokola 15d ago

Who hurt her so?

1

u/kotukutuku 15d ago

You ain't sneckin'

1

u/jzoelgo Ascension 20 15d ago

She needs to learn how to be a manageable mid tier enemy like she is in XCOM…

1

u/hero7defamilia 15d ago

She wears pajamas outside the house you know she's crazy

1

u/cometflight 15d ago

Seeing this immediately after my run ending to her has triggered me 😭

1

u/bbdvl Heartbreaker 15d ago

She kicks my ass badly laughing hysterically, made me think she is a sadistic villain but I noticed she has the same laugh when I kick her ass badly. She is just insane.

1

u/CaptMcButternut 15d ago

Dear diary,

The ass was fat

1

u/Argram 15d ago

Snake lady best girl.

1

u/dolly241 15d ago

She's mean. I call her "Lean back"

1

u/dj_Magikarp 14d ago

She's gonna make me CUM

1

u/SatchmoEggs 14d ago

She’s that high up in the spire, just CHILLING IN HER PAJAMAS so she’s just very dangerous.

1

u/drewbert Eternal One 13d ago

She hates that you're not into capoeira.

1

u/Hive_64 12d ago

I can fix her.

1

u/ChrisP2333 16d ago

This chick can be tough.

0

u/cabezatuck 16d ago

Gotta focus on those flying pleasure seekers.

0

u/Legal_Machine_5797 15d ago

She has snaids