Me when I spread medical misinformation online:

[u/The1Legosaurus]

[u/SykoSarah]

That lemon a day would be hell on teeth.

[u/Additional-Point-824 → u/SykoSarah]

I'm more worried about the fact that you will have "no fat" afterwards - we need at least some fat to survive!

[u/high_on_acrylic → u/Additional-Point-824]

No lemon, no menstruation! :D

[u/ParadoxNarwhal → u/high_on_acrylic]

hey i'll take that

[u/No_Cook2983 → u/SykoSarah]

Eat daily one stick of butter. No dentist. Also no constipation.

[u/Quaelgeist333 → u/SykoSarah]

As someone who absolutely loves lemons, not just the teeth. I've literally managed to find my lips bleeding after a lemon massacre

[u/BoxMain451 → u/SykoSarah]

Why?

[u/annoymous_911]

Daily 1 Apple, No Doctor.

If only the Daleks knew ...

[u/Background-Eye778 → u/annoymous_911]

Exterminate!

[u/0verlordSurgeus → u/annoymous_911]

I am so mad that I didn't come up with this joke myself

[u/jilizil → u/annoymous_911]

😂

[u/FullWrap9881]

So the key to being powerful is an apple-almond-lemon-date milkshake

[u/Bit-Jungle → u/FullWrap9881]

”Eat this daily to become bulletproof”

[u/FullWrap9881 → u/Bit-Jungle]

Doctors HATE that one simple trick!

[u/makethislifecount → u/FullWrap9881]

Oh lord, that lemon and milk combo would be disgustingly curdled

[u/Pretty-Pomelo5345 → u/makethislifecount]

Unless it's just the zest, methinks. 

[u/AnAverageTransGirl → u/Pretty-Pomelo5345]

Or perhaps if you used some other dairy product instead? I've had lemon yogurt 8efore, it's pretty good.

[u/pacmanfunky]

I made the mistake of eating 10 dates once, I was immune to fire and accidently bumped into a wall. Had to pay for a new wall. "I ate too many dates again" I mumbled to myself.

[u/Caesar_Passing → u/pacmanfunky]

I ate a date once. Naturally, I never heard from them again.

[u/Callinon → u/Caesar_Passing]

Just praying mantis things. Relationships are hard.

[u/No_Cook2983 → u/pacmanfunky]

Live in United States= No doctor.

Live in lake= No dry skin

[u/spidermans_mom → u/pacmanfunky]

I want to subscribe to your newsletter.

[u/No-Doubt-4309]

I haven't been to the doctor in ten years and I've eaten maybe 20 apples in that time. Check mate

[u/Splatter_Shell]

Damn

I need 10-11 hours of sleep a night to function but I still feel sad and burnt out! Wonder how that works...

[u/spidermans_mom → u/Splatter_Shell]

Hey fellow mega-sleeper! I need the same and I can say for sure it made a huge difference in my life when I started to prioritize my sleep. We’re not lazy, our brains just work differently.

[u/smudgiepie → u/Splatter_Shell]

Ah hell yeah another chronically exhausted super sleeper

[u/uvero]

Daily 4 dates

[u/Rude_Acanthopterygii]

Sounds more like 99% of people know that this is not true.

[u/juliainfinland]

They forgot about "beetroot plus garlic ⇒ no AIDS". (Seriously. Just look up Manto Tshabalala-Msimang. Spiritual precursor to RFK Jr.)

[u/uwillnotgotospace]

What's badam?

[u/chardongay → u/uwillnotgotospace]

badam-tiss 🥁

[u/Le__on → u/chardongay]

lol

[u/himmokala → u/uwillnotgotospace]

Badam means almond in Hindi, Persian and Urdu languages.

[u/uwillnotgotospace → u/himmokala]

Thank you

[u/darkseiko]

I sleep 6-8 hours every day & I'm still dead inside as hell & the statement w the glasses is also nonsense.

[u/Internal-Syrup-5064]

Eat a whole lemon?

[u/Fluffy-kitten28 → u/Internal-Syrup-5064]

Yeah. I’m stuck on that one, too. Eat it? Like, I put lemon juice in my water. And I know lemon is in certain recipes but it’s often the juice or another part of the lemon. Am I supposed to eat it whole? Make a lemon smoothie?

[u/AnAverageTransGirl → u/Fluffy-kitten28]

Most recipes do actually call for grinding up the peel and discarding the flesh. You could make it work.

[u/PaintWaterEnjoyer → u/Internal-Syrup-5064]

What, you've never had an entire delicious lemon as treat?

[u/Noah_the_blorp]

I'm allergic to apples. Maybe that's why I have to see the doctor so often

[u/DrPants707]

God damn it, why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?

[u/TomaszA3]

Where is the second quote mark?

[u/Wild-End-219]

So you’re telling me that if I eat almonds I won’t get cancer… hmmm 🤔

[u/Resident_Spell_2052]

8 hours of sleep is not enough. I need 10-15 sometimes more than that. I also need 10-15 lemons.

[u/NatalSnake69]

I sleep 24 hours a day. Where's why 3x happiness??

[u/college-throwaway87 → u/NatalSnake69]

I wish I could sleep 24 hours a day

[u/NatalSnake69 → u/college-throwaway87]

That disintegrated me lol

[u/arunasgeimeriz]

8 hours of sleep yet still with 8 causes of depression

[u/Enzoid23]

4 dates removes all weaknesses? I'll be unstoppable, I will fight the moon and WIN!

[u/MagicalMysterie]

Literally the only thing true about this is that drinking water prevents dry skin

[u/Loose-Donut3133 → u/MagicalMysterie]

I drink water even when I'm not thirsty and I still have dry skin. Doesn't help that my area is either bone dry or inducing swamp ass by just existing, but still.

[u/I_Dream_Of_Oranges → u/MagicalMysterie]

Even that is limited, I drink a ton of water and my akin is still dry AF

[u/IRBaboooon]

What is no weakness lmao

[u/porqueuno]

"Ah fuck, they didn't list the cure for my pancreas not creating insulin anymore, and my stomach acid burning away my esophagus, guess I'll die."

[u/StrawThatBends]

gives me flashbacks to that one danny gonzalez video where he talked about this

at the end, he ended up eating like 34 almonds because health idiots were obsessed with them for some reason

[u/buzzon]

Thanks for reminder to do my daily UV-mapping

[u/chirpychips666]

5 almond daily, no cancer /ref

[u/Laud-san]

NO WEAKNESS

[u/pinghing]

This is a boomer tier meme

[u/leeee_Oh]

Do I throw the apple at the doctor to keep him away?

[u/KnaveyJonesLocker]

Do I have to drink the glass with the glass water and glass milk? It hurts my throat.

[u/kindacoping]

My aunt used to make me drink lemon juice with warm water every damn day saying it'll be good for my immunity and make me immune to all kinds of major diseases.

It didn't so much as help me not catch colds.

I drank that lemon juice for years and when I was younger she'd also make me eat 2 almonds a day as if they're pills.

So glad to finally have moved out cuz drinking that damn lemon water every morning was the worst experience of my life. Indians genuinely believe this shit and it's more widespread than you think.

[u/Historical-Drag-1365]

That one post from that one Danny Gonzalez video

[u/Historical-Drag-1365]

https://youtu.be/pfBC9rIZvqE?feature=shared&t=547

[u/wigglebabo_1]

The water is a good idea, but will it do what is said here ABSOLUTLEY NOT (well, not for everyone)

[u/NekulturneHovado]

Daily 8 hours sleep = happy life?

Biggest bullshit I've ever heard in ny life

[u/BoiledDaisy]

I guess I'm weakness... Allergic to dates.

[u/OuterSpaceCandy]

What, do I just eat the whole lemon?

[u/KaralDaskin]

When I was sleeping 22 hours a day I was super happy!

Wait, no, I was massively depressed and barely alive.

[u/TricksterWolf]

I love how Dr. Koop's "eight glasses a day" response continues to be misinterpreted around the entire world.

For the record: you should drink water when you are thirsty, or when your mucous membranes are dry. The doctor was estimating how much fluid intake, including the fluids contained in solid food, that a typical adult needs to stay hydrated. It was not a recommendation to drink eight glasses of water a day.

[u/frosty_aligator-993]

one question: who the fuck refers to almonds as badam it sound like some malaysian snack also who eats fucking lemons

[u/MyStepAccount1234 → u/frosty_aligator-993]

The Indians refer to them as "badam". That's just their word for the nut.

[u/frosty_aligator-993 → u/MyStepAccount1234]

oh ok

[u/AnAverageTransGirl]

O8jection asshole I get at least twelve hours of sleep most days and I spend most days disproportionately upset.

[u/MyStepAccount1234]

Nice try, Indian shysters, the word "almond" is still in Hinglish.

[u/ShinySahil]

why would i take the rest when i can just have 4 dates and be

[u/Dudleycars]

I remember the YouTuber Danny Gonzalez making a video on something exactly like this lol.

[u/Dudleycars]

All I gotta do is stock up on some dates and become a fucking superhero. If I can’t rescue someone I’ll just grab 4 dates from my pocket give it to the person and tell them to wait a minute or two.

I’m a genius. No need to thank me.

[u/tickp]

four almond daily no cancer! lmao i think danny gonzalez has an old video where he talks abt this.

[u/QRAZYD]

I suppose insomniacs and those with PTSD are doomed to a life of misery then.

[u/kasapin1997]

Eating lemon after 14th family sized pizza

[u/KittenTehSmol]

oh, this car is about to hot me? fortunately i ate four dates earlier, so i have no weakne- BANG