I've already had a massive post about this before, but when I was diagnosed with ADD I had no idea how much of my life it was affecting.
Until I saw this video about 3 years ago, it shook me to my core, everything he said lined up and made sense now. I used to go by the name BallisticGe0rge because of my short temper. I always thought that was just who I was, but this explained it.
No joke I'm literally doing this with "History of the world i guess" right now. Maybe I'll watch it a few mins from now, but it's been on that list since it came out. Not sure what I'm waiting for. I loved the first one and all that Bill Wurtz has done. Maybe I want to preserve it because when I watch it that'll be it. Maybe I'm afraid it won't be as good. Maybe I'm torn between redditing, finishing work for a potential client, self-indulging in creating music only I want, and sleeping. Or maybe just depressed. Anyway I should go watch that.
I'm a bit different on this one. I am genuinely curious about my disorder so sitting through that one video was a delight. The proceeding videos, however, well... those will definitely be watched later.
Watched the first video and disagree. How can he say that it's only delay? There are archetypal traits in ADHD that you simply will not find (or won't find to the same degree) in most people of any age.
FYI. I just finished watching it. Instead of waiting, I listened to all of it. This guy cares a lot about ADHD, or at least he pretends to. I learned too much today. Time for a nap.
I gave up on adding things to my "plan to watch" list at some point... I just add channel subscriptions. Later on, I'll probably wind up going through all of the channel's videos if I'm interested.
Beautiful. I have issues with people not understanding, and I still don't understand most of it myself. I was diagnosed as an adult, so most of the time I just think it's a personality problem that I can't fix no matter how hard I try. Which then makes me think I'm a disfunctional adult, and suck at life.
Edit: Fuck now I completely forgot what I was working on... And that's not just a joke I literally have no idea where I left off.
Good job, immediately I thought of loading up overwatch. Then I said to myself at least I will reply about this thought process. Now I'm hoping this reply will remind me to watch the videos later.
I finally got around to watching this after having it opened in a chrome tab for the last 13 days :$ ... and then subsequently spent the next 13 minutes internally debating the right emoticon to depict my feelings (－‸ლ)
For me it was a random clip on 20/20 with Barbra Walters, back in the early 90's when it was just becoming a common diagnosis. I am a ritilan/adderall success story. I was already in high school and didnt have time to work on "changing how I learned" I needed to be able to buckle down and focus. All I can say is thank god for the medication. I went from failing in middleschool to getting straight A's in 11th grade and graduating with honors. I stopped taking it in college which was probably a mistake but I went back on it for grad school.
Sadly I didn't get diagnosed until after college, after losing out on many opportunities and many friends.
Not that I blame anyone, my parents and I and many doctors were cautious to label anything ADHD as diagnoses of it were rampant with my generation growing up.
I subconsciously understood my problem and was self-medicating myself on dangerous amounts of sugar and caffeine to get myself to focus during class. I knew I couldn't concentrate or study or read and I knew caffeine would help. I was going through an obscene amount of Mountain Dew, caffeine pills, and 5 hour energy drinks.
I finally got my shit together and went to see a doctor about it (and other things).
At the very least, I don't really drink soda or eat sugary foods anymore.
Sugar is incredibly bad for you in large amounts. It will hurt your mental performance more than help it and you will erode your body due to inflammation.
Coffee is probably more useful being a stimulant like adderall. Probably just try adderall.
I was diagnosed with ADHD years ago and started taking meds for it, but it didn't positively affect me. I felt like every pill I took stole a small part of my soul. Hard to describe, but it felt like it paralyzed me mentally and made me more aggressive. Additionally, it stifled my creativity.
Anyone else have a similar experience? Thoughts? Suggestions?
Methylphenidate (Ritalin, concerta) made me feel like this. Amphetamine (adderall) does not. Probably irrelevant, but I find that cocaine is a lot like methylphenidate. Amphetamine is different. Amphetamine makes me a productive member of society. Methylphenidate made me a zombie.
i was diagnosed with adhd in 2nd grade, honestly i hate they way adderall makes me feel i quit taking it in middle school, haven't looked back, i'm now a year and a half away from graduation with a BS in Computer Science, perhaps i'm not getting the best grades mostly B's here but i seem to be retaining all of the info perfectly and able to apply it when i need to because i get mostly A's on my tests.
Great. I'm on a low does of Aderal. I talked to my doctor about going off of it, even though my wife is a clinical pharmacist I still have this thing about taking medication. Anyway He, and my wife have both said, it's only 10mg, is a low does, so if you think it helps you stay on it. And it does help a lot at work.
But yeah, Dr Barkley helped me learn so much about how my ADHD was affecting my everyday life, but that short little video made me realise how my ADHD was affecting how I saw myself. I wanted to go back in time and hug the child version of me.
I became very active on PCMR and helped some people in need. Someone then said "BallisticGe0rge? More like GloriousGe0rge!" and I realized I had been using the wrong user name my whole life.
Not long after I made my way through Bottleneck Pass; I found myself standing in the Hall of Horrible Ports as massive beast stood between myself and glory! It towered before me, fire spewing from its lips. The ground shook as it slammed its massive spiked tail into the ground. It howled and churned as it approached...
"State thy name demon!" I shouted as my hands gripped tighter around the hilt of my RGB Sword.
"I am he who is known as Poor Optimization!" It howled. "You shall not pass no matter what drivers you install!"
Suddenly, Poor Optimization lunged toward me, its claws ready to sink into my flesh. I ducked and rolled beneath it, narrowly dodging its spiked tail that dragged behind it.
"Foolish beast! There is one remedy for you..." I shouted as I reached into my bag of holding, unveiling my best hope of survival "BEHOLD! COMMUNITY MODS TO FIX ALL YOUR FLAWS!"
Poor Optimization hissed and growled in pain as the light from the mighty Mods shined upon him. "NO! NOT UI FIXES AND HD TEXTURES!! YOUR GPU CANNOT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO SUPPORT THEM!!"
The beast continued to struggle and burn, but for a moment my frame rates dropped to 59. It was nearly enough to give me pause, to give into fear, but I knew better... "FOOLISH BEAST! I OVERCLOCKED MY GPU WITH LIQUID COOLING!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Poor Optimization screamed as the fire from the glorious light of the PCMR bathed him in righteous Mods. As he burned, he turned to ash and the ash into dust and the dust into nothing.
He was gone. My battle was finished, and I stood alone--Just then! I light shined upon me from the heavens and I heard him, I heard the voice of GabeN and he said "You have done well my servant, from hence worth, you shall be known as GloriousGe0rge."
Not at all qualified but as someone who was in a similar place, I'd recommend seeing a therapist first.
You don't want to jump the gun and force a diagnoses by pushing for it too hard, or to force a contrary diagnoses. If you have problems with anger, see if talking to someone helps enough on its own.
Then if not, see a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are different from psychologists or therapists as they specialize in medication. I don't recommend seeing them first as pills can't fix everything, some issues need to be worked out through therapy. But if that fails, the psychiatrist can have you take a test for ADHD, you'll need to fill it out and likely get family or friends to fill it out too.
After that, they'll likely recommend medication, but therapy is still really good.
The thing about ADHD as far as emotions go, is that the disorder removes all delay from the sensation of an emotion and the point of which you act on it.
So I lose a video game, and chemicals in your brain rush through to make you feel angry.
A normal person, feels those emotions. But a normal person is also able to bite their tongue, consciously or unconsciously telling themselves "no need to have an outburst, it's just a game."
With ADHD you don't get that delay, on any emotion really. You feel it, then you act on it, and that usually makes the feeling worse. I've lost friends that way, freaking out at them.
That lack of delay is also what prevents you from keeping attention. Other people notice the distractions, but they choose not to respond or waste time on them.
However, what is important to know, in my opinion, is that medication only enables you stop and pause and control yourself.
It does not teach you how to do that, or when, or why.
I've caught myself giving into the same emotions, not because I couldn't stop myself, but because I didn't think I needed to. A therapist can help with that, and allow you to take better control.
I went most of my life not knowing that I even had ADD because my mom never told me.
And much like you, I didn't realise how much of my life it was affecting because I was just coping with it.
Somedays I just can't concentrate for the life of me, it's like my mind is rambling non stop the entire day and it becomes really difficult to focus on individual ideas or complete the simplest tasks, however somedays I am in the fucking zone and can't bring myself to stop working because I am so invested in what I'm doing and I forget to eat etc...
On these bad days I usually end up reading the same line of text 3 or 4 times before I can even register it into my mind, it sucks I should prob take meds but I don't want to go down that road.
I mean like, I will read a whole paragraph and realise I was just saying the words and not actually trying to comprehend it. I will try again seconds later and the exact same thing will keep happening until the 5th or 6th time.
On good days I don't need to do this, on ADD days it can get really frustrating because of the nature of my work
When I first watched his presentation years ago, I sat there crying my eyes out, because for the first time in my life somebody finally put words to the struggles I've experienced every moment of every day of my entire life. It was this intense, instinctual response to finally being intimately understood and accepted for how I am. How strange, to feel that way about a man in a video on my phone. Up until this point, I had received a diagnosis for ADHD and I was seeing a psychiatrist monthly to get my meds, but I always had this nagging feeling that my struggles with motivation and self-management and focus were symptoms of deeper, innate flaws with "who I am."
His work opened my eyes, and allowed me to finally look inward. This video was the catalyst for personal growth and self-healing on a magnitude that is unfathomable for me now, as I look back on where I was at that time. Its such a strange feeling to feel this incredible gratitude for this person that I will never meet. His work pushed me down a path of self-discovery and profound growth. Undoubtedly, he helped me save my life.
Me too. I always knew I was kinda 'ADD', but then I watched his videos and I realized I was pretty severely ADD. And that it was affecting my work, my relationships, and my life in general. I got tested, was put on medication.
I like to say that the first day on medication was the first day I was ever actually AWAKE. I'd never known what AWAKE felt like. Not a caffeine high. Not a 'I just found a new thing I love and am obsessing over it" up feeling... but actually awake. I thought everybody else was constantly exhausted and lazy and bored and so so so angry all the time... But they were just better at working past it than I was.
But that first day on medication... Oh... this calm, awake, interested feeling. That explains why everybody else seemed to be able to so easily act in a way that was nearly impossible for me to act. They felt like THIS. It just explained so much.
Part of that is definitely the "high" that wears off, but part of it never goes away, you're right.
The best way I could describe it at the time, was like that part in the movie The Fly, where Jeff Goldblum feels freaking fantastic and able to do everything in his life better, with more confidence and more control and quicker thinking.
It honestly makes me wonder if one day I'll too mutate into a horrible insect.
Thank you for posting this. In the third video when he began talking about executive function disorder I burst into tears. It hit me at my core. I only started to recognize my executive self developing in the past two years and I'm 32.
Fuck me.... This is like a checkpoint of my whole life...
From anger issues, to having no friends in school, to beeing unable to plan ahead, to beeing very emotional and having the desire to share that. All this shit I've been dealing with, only because of one fucking disorder.
The first part of this video when he talks about time and how people with ADHD can't deal with something until the 11th hour is the most accurate description of my ADHD I've ever heard put into words. I will say however, I did teach myself to plan and execute for events further out the older I got and the more aware I became of my condition.
I totally agree, anyone who deals with severe ADHD should watch this!
Thanks George! I will be watching after work tonight. Add has made it difficult to advance my career from time to time. I am starting to get a better handle on things but so far this guy is right on point
Did you get medication? How much did it actually help if you did? The more time goes on I'm beginning to think ADD may affect me, but I for some reason I don't want to get diagnosed.
So medicine usually helps, and for some it can be a complete game changer. And for others, it doesn't do anything but make you feel anxious and grind your teeth! The medicine isn't the solution, it's just a tool. The solution is steady, mindful, self-reflective self-improvement. Which is a tall task, so most people goose to see a therapist who can make it sooooo much easier. If I could give any advice at all, it would be to go find a therapist who makes you feel completely comfortable, and start having that honest dialogue with them. They will be able to guide you and help you make sense of what's best for you. Lifestyle changes, coping mechanisms, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and informed advice on where to go and what services to use is what you can hope to gain from seeing a therapist.
The diagnosis isn't the important part. It's just the medical litmus test to prevent people from seeking out prescription self-medication. A doctor might write you a script, or not, but they won't help you use that script to start making the changes in yourself that will actually bring you relief from the symptoms. It's a long and tough journey, but it's so incredibly worth it. You are worth it, and you can do it!
Dr. Barkley seems to have very rigid ideas about human development. For some reason I feel if you placed him in an alternate society and changed about 5 or 6 parameters, he'd be crushed into the ground and realize that everything that he thought that he knew was wrong.
I think he's being rigid because he's trying to make it sink in for parents.
A lot of people treat ADHD, and developmental problems in general, as things that can be shrugged off. "Can't focus, ah just try harder" "Can't control you temper, then we'll punish you more"
People often fail to grasp the possibility of such fundamental differences in other human beings. Hell, people fail to grasp economic differences in other human beings, or cultural differences or physical differences, all of which we can measure with clear and concise data.
So to say "Hey, there's something wrong, deep inside the inner workings of your child, they do not, and will not process the world the same way as you" --it's just a hard for some people to grasp.
My comment wasn't fair. He's out dealing with real problems in the real world. And of course, the reality is everyone would experience dramatic culture shock if you changed 5 or 6 individually-targeted societal parameters, as no human being is well-adjusted to all possible societies.
Thanks for sharing, Ge0rge. I was diagnosed as a very young man with ADHD and it never quite "shook it" as I got older. That's why I got into IT, with it's constant changes. I don't think I would fit in any other industry.
Have so far watched several more videos and this might change my life. I need to see a doctor and have this diagnosed and start treating it. Is there a subreddit for adults with ADD?
but when I was diagnosed with ADD I had no idea how much of my life it was affecting.
I had a similar experience. I came to the realization that I thought I might have ADHD and went to a psychologist. I told him the things I thought it was affecting and he asked me other, related questions. He'd ask me a question, then scribble the answer down and come back to talk about it later and I'd just be confused.
Yeah, after watching this I realize just how much I've been denying a problem. It started in college and has gotten really bad. If it's not right in front of me, I don't remember it. I'll have a phone call and 30 seconds after I hang up, I'm on to something else and completely forget that I just told someone I was going to do something.
Nothing is wasted. You lived a life. I'm sure you smiled, I'm sure you had moments of enjoyment and stories to tell.
I always get motivated by a quote from Ricky Gervais, famous comedian and actor, "Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But start now."
The only time wasted is that squandered on regret. We can't change then and even if we could, how can we be sure it'd be any better? Focus on the now and the future that will come from now.
True true. I wasted my youth and beauty though :) pity. But I'm not regretful, just a little annoyed that a parent or myself didn't work out out sooner.
I have always known I must have at least mild ADHD. I married a project manager so I drive my poor husband crazy. I forget things all the time no matter how hard I swear I try. And I am almost physically unable to plan or create calendars. I've tried to describe it to my husband as literally a void in my brain, like an empty spot, that no matter how hard I try I can't bridge it or figure it out. I was always the kid doing projects the night before. I was an A student and worked well under the pressure so there wasn't incentive for me to change what was working. I also chose a profession where I literally work in emergency situations and I have lazer focus while I'm there. But as soon as I clock out, I'm back to my normal self. I live in the now, I have an incredibly beautiful and complex imagination that is always churning. Music helps me focus and calm down. I just wish people in my life, especially my dear husband who doesn't see the world the way I do, would understand that my intentions are good and that I am trying. I'm just not quite wired the same way.
does he present advice? I'll watch it later(lol)
fuck my ADHD.
I been hating myself because of it.
I have 8 unfinished books.
6 unfinished video games.
Over 10 unfinished apps/websites I programmed.
LOTS of abandoned hobbies (talking over 100 potentially.)
Played a variety of sports, tried being both introverted and extroverted.
I used to take medication when I was in middle school but avoided therapy & medicine since because they didn't fix my problems.
Now that I'm an adult I'm willing to consider them if there is an actual legitimate cure. I don't care about a short-term solution where you just talk to someone to make you feel better.
Is there an actual cure?
I have abandoned 2 career paths now, I have juggled multiple jobs and I just feel unmotivated to keep trying.
I love the way he explains it. I don't think I have ADHD, but this has made me become more aware of friends that do and describes what they seem to deal with... and judging by the responses here he seems to hit the nail on the head. It really makes sense to me even though I'm only observing. Does he cover depression at all?
I never talked to any specialist, but that does sound like me. Pulling all nighters is a common thing for me to accomplish tasks i had weeks to do. I stress about plan to do it, but never seriously put effort in it until its last night before deadline. I doubt i have this, but symptoms do sound like me.
These are fantastic oh my god. His manner of delivery is ELECTRIFYING. He punctuates and emphasizes at JUST the right places to jostle the wanderthoughts back into the subject O_O
Went to therapy for a while, got medicated for ADHD.
I don't not get angry but when I do, I able to stop myself before I do something I'd otherwise regret.
The thing I also didn't realize about my anger was that it was starting to avalanche, I would get angry at losing a game for example, then scream, then get angry at myself because I was screaming and ruining a fun time, then get angry that I was ruining the fun time of a friend...ect ect...
Once I was able to think clearly before reacting, I was able to stop the anger before it ever really got anywhere. I was able to say "hey, it's just a game, it's fine."
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u/GloriousGe0rge May 30 '17 edited May 30 '17
I've already had a massive post about this before, but when I was diagnosed with ADD I had no idea how much of my life it was affecting.
Until I saw this video about 3 years ago, it shook me to my core, everything he said lined up and made sense now. I used to go by the name BallisticGe0rge because of my short temper. I always thought that was just who I was, but this explained it.
Edit - Here's the entire series of his presentation, anyone dealing with ADHD should definitely watch it.