I always said focusing (for me) was like trying to hold tightly onto a wet bar of soap, I'd have it for a moment then it would shoot out of my hand and I'd have to chase it down, and by the time I got it back I was already behind, then I'd just lose it again
My parents never remotely understood that concept, so it took my 7.5 years to graduate college
Also I'd often lose focus without even realizing, like in class I'd be listening then suddenly catch myself staring into space and singing an old sitcom theme in my head and I'd think "wait then the hell did that happen? it's been 10 minutes? fuuuuck!"
This sounds so fucking familiar it's like I wrote it myself. I'll just drift off and not even realize I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. FUCKKK
And when you do try to focus, you end up focusing on how hard it is to focus instead of focusing on the teacher (my middle school experience) and realize "shit, I stopped paying attention again." And on and on.
My husband was 31 before he finally got treatment for his ADHD and it changed his life. He was diagnosed when he was younger but his parent didn't believe in it so they didn't allow him to get treatment. For most of our marriage, he didn't go to the doctor since he didn't have insurance so he just lived with it. As soon as he got insurance, he went to the doctor and I forced him to ask about treatment options. It took about 3 different formulas for him to find what works but I'm so happy we found it. It makes me hurt to think about him previously suffering through it and mostly silently.
Go to the doctor. Talk to someone. Ask about treatment options. I'm sure it will be worth it.
Damn this is exactly what happens to me in lots of ways. Like I go downstairs to get a new trashbag and often times when I get back upstairs I don't even have the trashbag. Or just now when I'm re-listening an interview I did for school and suddenly I notice a sound going on in the background and I think "huh what's that?" only to realise/remember that I was trying to re-listen an interview and completely lost focus.
Ohh I see, thanks for responding. A few weeks ago a teacher of mine even asked me if I've got ADHD but it's never really been tested I think. I have a few friends with ADHD and the video the OP linked really fit well with those friends in the sense that they're really bad at planning things.
This video kind of made me believe there's no way I have that though since I think I'm fairly good at planning and thinking ahead. I do always move in one way or another and my concentration has been really bad since elementary school so there's that... And then when I read the comment by "Eizooz" that describes exactly how it feels for me. Weird stuff.
There's different versions of ADD / ADHD and it can present a bit differently to people
This video didn't perfectly describe me either, so that doesn't mean you shouldn't get it checked out. Getting medicated was the best choice I ever made (helped me stay focused enough to eat well and exercise and I lost near 100lbs last year—so it can have unforeseeable affects too) but the meds don't make it better for everyone. Worth a try though
I'm actually a bit unsure about even getting it checked out though because I think I know a fair bit about the medication that's available for ADHD/ADD. I've also read a lot of horror stories about medication like Adderall and other stimulants. I've never tried Adderall itself but I have tried speed which is nearly identical to it and I absolutely hated not being able to eat what I wanted (my weight is on the lower side, I've recently started exercising to put on some weight). Hard choice I think.
It all depends on the dosage—I'm on basically the smallest daily dose, but I've heard awful stories from friends. Though you may be right, it might not be for you. But there's other meds too. I think Vivanse (sp?) is supposedly pretty good; it's like Adderall without the stimulant (I think).
Oh that sounds a lot better! Wikipedia actually says some positive things about the use of stimulants on people who have ADHD so I might make an appointment sometime and discuss with a doctor wether they think I even have ADHD and if medication would be benefitial to me. Thanks. :)
Can I ask what motivated you to go to college and what your degree is in?
My son will be a junior in high school next year and is ADHD. School's always been a struggle because of his condition--I've heard it described that being in the classroom is like being in a cage. If that's the way you felt, then as a parent, I'm really curious why you decided to further school. We're hoping he does the same, or finds something he's interested in pursuing. Thanks.
That's pretty accurate. I didn't have much of a choice but to go to college. There's very few jobs out there even for grad school graduates, much less someone who's only graduated high school. I ended up with a degree in leadership after many changes over the years and being forced to withdraw from the same school twice before being expelled, going to another school to raise my grades again, then coming back.
It seems like you're listening to your kid and believe he has ADHD, which are two things my parents never did, so that's a good first step. I finally got on Adderall (right after college: figures lol) and it not only helped sort my brain out but gave me energy and helped me lose nearly 100lbs last year. I know it doesn't work for everyone but it's a life saver for me.
The bar of soap analogy is really spot on, because it takes so much concentration and effort to hold the "soap" (focus) that it actually completely overrides your ability to actually focus on what you're TRYING to make yourself focus on.
Every time I've tried to force myself to "focus" on what a person is saying/doing/thing I need to pay attention to, I end up focusing way harder on some bizarre random detail and suddenly I'm totally lost. Like, I sure as hell didn't catch what the person was saying, but I memorized the shape of their teeth and lips as they spoke and THAT was what ended up drawing my focus instead of the information I was actually trying to pay attention to.
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u/[deleted] May 30 '17
I always said focusing (for me) was like trying to hold tightly onto a wet bar of soap, I'd have it for a moment then it would shoot out of my hand and I'd have to chase it down, and by the time I got it back I was already behind, then I'd just lose it again
My parents never remotely understood that concept, so it took my 7.5 years to graduate college
Also I'd often lose focus without even realizing, like in class I'd be listening then suddenly catch myself staring into space and singing an old sitcom theme in my head and I'd think "wait then the hell did that happen? it's been 10 minutes? fuuuuck!"