r/23andme • u/yawithme • 14h ago
Family Problems/Discovery Found out I have no shared DNA with my dad 😱
I'm still processing everything as I only found out a couple hours ago. I was at brunch with one of my best friends and told her that on my recent trip to Thailand, I had my dad do a 23andMe test kit and I'm still waiting for the results. It just so happened as I pulled up my phone while telling the story I got an email saying his results were in and that we have no shared DNA. I was kind of numb from the shock and I just started processing it out loud with my friend and what the scenarios could be. Was there a chance that it's an error? Now that I've had a couple hours I'm pretty sure it's accurate. I've always had an inkling as we don't look alike. But I also just look A LOT like my mom and so does my sister. But she has some resemblance of him at least. My sister and I are also 13.5 years apart. I'm the younger one.
The reason I wanted to test him was because I did this test more than 5 years ago and the percentage of my results kept changing. First it said I was 46% Chinese (Guangdong) and 54% Broadly Southeast Asian with a high percentage of being Vietnamese. Which at the time I thought was half accurate because my dad is 100% Chinese as my paternal grandparents immigrated to Thailand from South China. I was frustrated that it kept thinking I was Vietnamese instead of Thai. I would check the app like once a year max and even with more and more data from other Southeast Asians through the years - I was still Vietnamese with even higher percentages. Mind you all my maternal side of the family is Thai (Isaan) and I was born in Thailand. So all I wanted was to "help the system" by adding my biological dad, have his DNA linked to me and show up in the system that I'm more-likely half Thai and half Chinese and NOT Vietnamese. Well it turns out right now I'm basically not Chinese at all and on top of that my dad and I have no shared DNA.
My parents are both old (70's) and I don't want to give anyone a heart attack nor devastate my dad - despite us not being close at all when I was younger - but he 100% thinks I'm his. My mom traveled internationally for work a lot while we lived in Thailand when I was younger and my parents were separated pretty much right when I was born (he had a whole relationship with another woman while she was away for months at a time) and finally divorced when I was 5. He has never not claimed me as his despite not really living in the same house my whole life, has always supporter me financially, and only agreed to this test cause I begged him.
I was always really intrigued by other people finding family secrets through DNA testing but never thought it would be me one day. Today's been a crazy day.