I’m haunted by the possibility of developing dementia one day

[u/NoteFabulous3175]

According to the scientific literature, those with ADHD are nearly three times more likely to develop dementia than the general population. I’m only 21 years old, yet I think about that statistic almost everyday. The thought of loosing my mind scares me so much more than the thought of dying. I’m not exactly sure why, but it probably has something to do with witnessing my grandmother slowly die from Alzheimer’s disease, seeing how much my aunt suffers from her schizophrenia, and the time I spent working in nursing home and being physically, sexually, and verbally assaulted by elders with dementia as a teenager, as well as seeing the suffering of those elders. I’ve made peace with the fact that I will die one day, but my only hope is that day will come before the day I loose my mind. I want to spend my last few years of life conscious of my reality and in control of my mind, not slowly wasting away while my neuron’s degenerate and my mind deteriorates until I can no longer recognize myself in the mirror. Until I’m betrayed by my own mind and forced to spit in the face of my own morals by harming a loved one or caretaker. As if my ADHD hasn’t caused and will continue to cause me enough suffering in this life. Such a significant increase in risk of developing dementia just feels like rubbing salt in the wound. I’m not suicidal, but I think I would seriously consider ending things at some point during the early stages of dementia if I develop it one day. It wouldn’t be a choice made out of despair or fear. It would be a choice made out of love for myself and the life I lived, and perhaps what’s even more significant, it would be a choice I would get to make.

Anyone else a bit paranoid about developing dementia? Or how do you reconcile with the possibility of developing it one day?

[u/Flippinsushi]

I fear it also but there are other things you can do, like minimizing use of benadryl, and minimize how often you get Covid. At least those are two major recommendations I’ve been seeing in the last few years.

Yes, we’re more likely than others, but it’s not set in stone. Also, there are innovations in treatment and I bet by the time you’d be at risk there will likely be huge advancements that might make it far less scary. I have an immediate family member with early-onset dementia, and he’s doing incredibly well, in fact shockingly well, because of a pill he takes.

You’re young and shouldn’t be dwelling on this to the point of putting a damper on your life. You might even want to consider talking to someone because this might be veering into intrusive thought territory, or something else that you could probably work through so you won’t be so worried. Which is not to say that it’s not something to worry about in the abstract, but don’t make yourself sick over it.