So I (31M) work in corporate project management, and I’ve always believed that strong systems create strong outcomes. My girlfriend “Jess” (29F) doesn’t work in corporate—she’s a freelance illustrator and kind of a “go-with-the-flow” type. We’ve been dating for just over a year, and while things have been fine, I’ve noticed some concerning patterns in her “performance” as a partner.

She’s consistently late when we go out (between 6–9 minutes, I’ve tracked it), she never updates the shared Google Calendar I made for us (even though I color-coded it for her), and she has not made measurable progress toward learning to like sci-fi, despite me clearly stating it’s important to me.

After months of frustration and repeated verbal feedback (documented in a private Notion tracker I set up), I decided to take a more formal approach and issued her a Relationship Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).

It was a 3-page PDF I printed and presented to her last Friday over dinner. I even made a little PowerPoint to keep it light. It included goals like:

Be on time for 90% of social outings over the next 30 days

Add at least 3 events to the shared calendar per week

Watch at least one episode of The Expanse without complaining

I thought it was funny and helpful. I even included a “Mid-PIP Check-In” in two weeks and a note about “rewards upon successful completion” (I planned to buy us a weekend getaway if she “passed”).

But she did not take it well. She said I was treating her like an employee, that relationships aren’t jobs, and that I was being “deeply weird.” She left halfway through the presentation and now won’t answer my calls.

I genuinely don’t understand what I did wrong. I was trying to communicate clearly, using tools that have worked for me in every other area of life.

AITA for trying to optimize our relationship?

edit: not a fan of these tbh. i've been trying to massage a "aita but it's obvious op is the asshole" but chatgpt either gives me something unbelievable like the above or it gives me like, too actually abusive to be funny. it's a work in progress

Totally relevant backstory: my(28F) husband (29M let’s call him H for Harold.. I mean ummm husband… that’s believable right? Totally fake name) and I have a wonderful relationship. Super duper supportive and all of that lovely nonsense. He like brings me flowers and stuff. All those cheesy romance type things. That’s what makes this much more believable… I mean painful.

So, last Monday, we went to dinner at a sit down pizza restaurant with our 2 kids (34M, 12F, 3MTF), our dog (17M dachshund don’t worry he’s a service dog), (I’m too lazy to remember everyone’s ages from here on out) my aunt, 4 cousins, 2 uncles, both sides’ grandparents and great grandparents, 3 goldfish, and a unicorn.

When the dinner came, H made an inappropriate comment about “8 inches being SOOO large”. Of course all of the flying monkeys had to laugh making it look so much worse that I was scolding him at a high volume in front of everyone in the restaurant. H politely asked me to calm down, which only made me angrier.

After a few more minutes of scolding, I’ve gotten it off my chest and I begin serving everyone. Irritatingly, the pizza cutter they gave us was not sharp AT ALL. After I had served everyone and H had finished his slice (he asked for 2 but I think he’s fat despite his 6 pack so I only gave him 1), he grabbed the cutter to get another. YALL IT CUT FOR HIM NOT PROBLEM.

At this point, I now know that he only picked this restaurant so he could flaunt his affair with the pizza cutter in my face. That level of disrespect just doesn’t sit right with me. So Reddit, WIBTA if I divorced Harold over having an affair with a pizza cutter?

So I (33M) am the captain of a pretty competitive bar trivia team. We play every Thursday and have a solid squad of five. My girlfriend “Mel” (30F) has been playing with us for the last six months, after one of our original teammates moved away.

Now, Mel is smart. She has a master's degree and knows a lot about plants and historical disasters, which is cool. But trivia is about range, and lately her performance has been... spotty. Like last week, she blanked on a question about The Fast and the Furious franchise, and misidentified a photo of a pangolin. A pangolin. It cost us third place and a $20 bar tab.

I take the team seriously. I run weekly practice quizzes in a group chat, and I track everyone's category strengths. I noticed Mel's accuracy has dropped to 63% over the past month. I brought it up to her and said that, out of fairness to the team, we should have a “skills refresher” to make sure everyone is still bringing their A-game.

She thought I was joking. I wasn’t. I made a 50-question multiple choice quiz covering pop culture, geography, literature, memes, sports, and “animal shapes.” I told her it was just a check-in, and if she scored under 70%, we’d need to consider rotating her off the core team.

She flipped out. She said I was “gatekeeping trivia,” that I was humiliating her, and that I “run the team like it’s the Olympic committee.” I reminded her that last season we made regionals and that this isn’t just fun—this is legacy.

She left mid-quiz (after question 17, which she got wrong, by the way), and now she’s saying she’s “re-evaluating the relationship.”

AITA for holding her to team standards?

I (42 M) met this woman (30 F) when she came to work at the law firm where I am a Partner. She was hot, old for my tastes, but made up for it in legs, butt and tits. More importantly though, I immediately sniffed spousal neglect. So I pounced like a motherfucker. She was a mom too, which fits.

Her husband had been a chef and an Uber delivery guy to make ends meet, the loser, I bet he didn't even invest in crypto. But after she came to work at my firm Sigma, Chaddeus & McGill, she began to make more money than him. She made him stay home, cut off his balls and kept them in her purse, and made him a kept husband. As soon as she told me all that when she introduced herself, I knew I was going to be balls deep within the week. I was within the work day.

Still, even though she was easy pickings, I showered her with attention and made her feel desirable again. I made her believe she had a better future with me, all the while edging myself thinking about how she was becoming colder and distant with her husband.

Oh, I fucked her, you bet your sweet ass I did. Olympic level sex, tantra as fuck, loose consciousness after she comes sort of thing. I, however, didn't come, not yet. You gotta goon that shit.

Eventually she was so crazy for The Senior Partner -that's what I call my dong-, and feeling so high on my attention, that she asked her husband for a divorce. Bitch didn't even want custody! Being a mom would take time away from riding The Senior Partner, I guess. As soon as she told me I took her to a motel. I was finally going to release.

I went to town, I mean properly, I mean jackhammer time, biblical deluge, her womb grew three sizes that day.

Once it was over I paid for the broken furniture at the motel room and told her it had been nice and wished her well in her future endeavors. I sauntered out of the motel room and immediately locked eyes with a 21 year old -which is more my pace- who was walking to a room for some “model audition”, I made a better offer.

Now the woman, the old one, wants her ex-husband back. She has called him and asked him for a second chance, giving him some sob story. I'd be lying if I said I didn't drill the 21 year old while thinking about the old one begging her ex to take her back.

Some of the old one's relatives are now calling the ex-husband and calling him heartless because he won't take her back, but he won't budge. It's all so fucking funny to me. Hey, look, hate the game, not the player, you know what I mean? That broad was inches from hitting the wall, and I had to get in quick.

Anyway, losers, AITA for being a Chad and doing what a Chad does? Whatever, if you call me an asshole I know it's because you wish you were me, or you wish you were under me, or in me, it's all good! See ya later!

Okay, so this is a bit of a mess, but here goes. My (29F) husband (30M) and I have been married for 5 years. Over the past couple of years, I started getting really into these online communities talking about being “alpha,” “red-pilled,” and “sauce-goated”—basically, the idea of leveling up, being strong, confident, and unapologetically masculine.

I got super into it, started hitting the gym, reading all these books, and listening to podcasts promoting this "alpha" mindset. But my husband, bless him, is just... not into it. He’s more of the chill, nerdy, “soyboy” type. He eats vegetables for fun (like, why?), reads self-help books with titles like The Power of Kindness, and says stuff like “golly gee” when he’s excited. He’s sensitive and kind, which, okay, is nice, but not exactly what I signed up for.

On top of that, let’s just say... well, he’s not exactly endowed in the manhood department. I’m not here to shame anyone, but let’s just say that in that area, he’s more “charmingly small” than “alpha.” It’s honestly kind of embarrassing sometimes.

I started getting frustrated because I thought we were supposed to be growing together, but I wanted a partner who could match my energy. I needed someone strong, someone who could take charge, not someone who gets overwhelmed by a little bit of confrontation. I tried talking to him about it, but he just doesn’t get it. He told me I should stop listening to "internet nonsense," which only made me more upset.

Eventually, I realized I just wasn’t happy, and I left him. I know it sounds shallow, but I wanted someone who was "alpha-pilled" and could take charge of his life—physically, emotionally, and, well, in other areas too.

Now I feel guilty, but at the same time, I think I made the right choice for me. My friends say I should’ve communicated better, but I honestly don’t think it would’ve helped. He would never understand that a woman could be alpha-pilled and want a man who shared that vision.

So I was driving home from the bar after a long day and night of heavy drinking. I just had to make it through a short section of downtown and I am home safe but just as I got into downtown, there was a group of protestors standing in the middle of the road.

Like any person just trying to get home, I didn’t know what to do so I gave them a few warning beeps, yelled at them to get out of the road and kept moving but they just none of them moved. They just stood there like they thought their combined weight would stop a moving vehicle, must be some new drug or something, so there was nothing else to do besides to keep moving.

After a few speed bumps and minimal damage to my car, I finally made it home safely.

AITA for not stopping? If it helps, I think most of them were probably illegals.

Also can I sue these people for damaging my car? Like I said there is minimal damage but there is a spot in my bumper I’d like to get repaired.

My wife and I have been together for 9 years, married for 4 and we have a daughter.

Recently I've started to doubt whether my daughter is actually mine. She doesn't look like me at all. I did some research and found out that 30% of men are raising someone else's child which made me really worried.

I finally confronted my wife and calmly informed her that I'm planning to get a paternity test. She started yelling at me hysterically saying I'm an idiot and this is absolutely unnecessary. I told her that her behavior is suspicious and I will do as I see fit.

I got the test and turned out I was right and she is not mine. I confronted my wife again and she got angry and called me a Moron. I told her that nothing she says will change my mind and I'm going to divorce her.

Now everyone is blowing up my phone and calling me an asshole for getting the test.

AITAH?

Edit: I thought this might be relevant, our daughter is 16 years old.

My sister's birthday was a week ago, and I saw a cute long-sleeved top I thought she would like. But here's the thing about my stupid-as-rocks sister, she is a vampire and is in complete denial that she will catch fire if her skin touches sunlight unprotected. It is to the point that she owns only tank tops and shorts, nothing long sleeved. She even refuses to wear sun screen and everyone has to step over eggshells around her when she is being engulfed in flames because she is so sensitive about it. It is super gross to watch her prance around with blisters covering her arms and face, and listen to my family treat her delusional behavior as normal. Usually I don't care one way or another what sort of suffering my loved ones go through, so I've stayed out of this issue so far. But I wouldn't be here, having done what I've done, if I didn't deep down really judge her for it.

Long-sleeve story short, I got her the top I knew she wouldn't like and it turned into a whole thing at her birthday party. She started sobbing uncontrollably and yelling in front of everyone that she wasn't flammable and she couldn't believe I wasn't supporting her in her identity. She whipped open the drawn curtains in an attempt to prove a point and burst into flames immediately. The living room is nothing but a charred mess now because my parents thought taking out the fire extinguisher would have only escalated things further.

For some reason everyone is made at me, thinking this is my fault. It isn't like I said being a vampire is a bad thing! It isn't like she was one of the insufferable ones who read Twilight and sought getting bitten. I mean, maybe if she had been wearing a turtle neck, she wouldn't have been attacked, but I digress. So reddit, AITA for trying to help my moron sister who can't figure out how to dress on her own because she is too vampiric to know?

so i (48m) have been with my wife (23f, lets call her the most specific name you have ever heard) for 4 years. i know the age difference isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it has worked for us.

however, lately i had been having the suspicion she's having an affair. she'd tell me she isn't, but i know my wife, and i know when she's having an affair. so i hired a pi and guess what? she was having an affair with some giga chad. yeah, i know i'm balding with a beer belly, but considering that she's almost in her mid twenties and past her prime, i don't think she should be asking for much more. who does she think she is, a model?

anyway, i told her she has to choose between the guy and me. she tried denying the affair, but i showed her pictures i had of her and ap (alpha pleb) so she couldn't deny it anymore.

she broke down crying and told me not to do this to her, but i remained stern. there may be simps out there that let their female treat them however they want, but i'm not one of them.

after much begging and crying, she told me she chooses me. i told her she has to prove it. i was thinking she would block the guy or something, maybe egg his house, but she ended up murdering him, to prove her loyalty. i think she went a little overboard, but you do you, i guess. at least now i know this alpha chad won't go steal anyone else's girl.

the problem is that now she's demanding that i help her hide the body. she said that as her husband its my duty to support her, because i told her she needs to prove her loyalty and because we swore each other in sickness and health till death do us part, but i replied that its in sickness and health, not in sickness and homicide. she thinks im being pedantic and nitpick, but i don't think i should have to hide a body when i didn't even kill the guy. aita for not helping her hide the body??

eta: thank you everyone for all the advice. i ended up helping her hide the body. we were in the kitchen and she was holding a kitchen knife while telling me that i have to help her. she was so hysteric that i didn't trust her not to stab me, even though she knows that if i ever get murdered, i don't want to be stabbed, i want something more dramatic, like arsenic or something. but in her situation, i really didn't trust her to keep my wishes in mind. anyway, now we got enough meat for three month's worth of barbecue, so i guess it all turned out fine in the end

I (24,A) met my soulmate (24,O) who is a complete gender equality activist. I was always, ALWAYS listening to my partner's thoughts, always being there and defending this awesome, incredibly beautiful intellectual, thinking "this is such an amazing brain, my love is amazing". However...

That was then. Thar was back when I was in highschool, before he found out I was an alpha after all, and before I got my first rut. It turns out I am a latent alpha :( and he IS my destined pair. However, he somehow hated the fact that I am in love wih him because of our secondary genders. He always thought I was a beta, and since I never had any ruts, I thought I was one too.

I had my rut last month, which was triggered by his first heat in so long (he takes his suppressants diligently but I guess they stopped working). He realized I was an alpha and he got so angry at me. While his wet slick was running down his leg, he cried and said "I cannot believe you would lie to me" then he rutted his butt over my long, thick, throbbing hard alpha dingdong.

He begged to be bred and my alpha instincts obliged. We were at it all day all night monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday friday Saturday sunday. On the couch, on the table, on the ottoman, on the bed, in the kitchen, on the floor, diagonally, sideways, standing up, sitting down, at the...

Thankfully he was wearing his choker so I didn't mark him or anything. I only knotted him.

Now that our rut and heat passed, he broke up with me because of that. What should I do now?? What am I to do without my destined pair, I miss his smell, I miss his slick, I miss the way his tail twitches... I am maybe a beast after all. But so is he!!! Why is he so angry that I am not what he expected me to be???