r/AmITheAngel • u/JesseB342 • 8d ago
Shitpost AITA for Wanting a DNA Test to Prove I’m My Baby’s Mother?
Okay, so this might sound weird, but hear me out. I (28F) gave birth to my son six weeks ago, and I just can’t shake this feeling that something is wrong. Like, I don’t think he’s actually my baby. I don’t mean that the hospital switched him or anything—I mean I don’t think we’re biologically related.
First of all, he looks NOTHING like me. I have brown hair and brown eyes, and he has light hair and blue eyes. My husband (30M) also has brown hair and brown eyes, so where did this come from?? I know babies can sometimes look different from their parents, but this just doesn’t make sense. I literally carried him for nine months, went through all the morning sickness and cravings, and then went through labor—so why does he look like a total stranger??
I brought this up to my husband, and he just laughed and said, “That’s not how it works.” But how does he know?? He’s not a scientist! I asked my mom about it, and she got all weird and told me that genes can be “recessive” or something, but that just sounds like an excuse to ignore the OBVIOUS issue here.
I told my husband I want a DNA test to prove he’s actually mine. He got really annoyed and said that’s not necessary because I literally gave birth to him. But that doesn’t prove anything! I mean, just because he came out of me doesn’t mean we share DNA, right? What if I was just, like, growing some random baby in there? How do I know the hospital didn’t, I don’t know, mix things up before he was born??
Now my husband is mad and says I’m embarrassing myself. My mom is mad. Even my best friend told me to drop it. But I just feel like I deserve to KNOW for sure.
AITA for wanting to double-check??
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u/sleepinand Upon arriving at home, I entered it stoically 8d ago
NTA, have you considered that your baby has perhaps been kidnapped by the fairy queen to be raised as her own child and they have left you with a changeling that resembled your baby at first but as it grows will slowly become more distant and out of place until he learns the truth of his heritage on his 14th birthday and returns to the fae realm to live out the remaining centuries of his life in the queen’s court as well? You are really going to need a lawyer specialized in fae law in that case, this is going to be a very messy custody battle.
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u/MallUpstairs2886 Major yikerinos 8d ago
Oh no! I had forgotten about changelings! This must be what happened to this poor woman.
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u/DiegoIntrepid 8d ago
This reminded me of the case I heard about where the woman was ordered to get a maternity test, and it came back that it wasn't her kid. It was related to her, but not her kid.
She was pregnant, and in order to prove that she did indeed birth her kids, someone had to be in the room with her, and they immediately did a DNA test (or at least took the sample) and it came back as not her kid.
She was a chimera. Her womb was her twin sister's that she absorbed while in her mother's womb.
I believe it took years for her to get everything cleared up (and this was done because she was on benefits for the kids)
Genetics, and biology itself, is weird and wild.
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8d ago edited 5d ago
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u/DiegoIntrepid 8d ago
Yeah, Genetics was the only part of biology I found interesting. I loved pretty much all other sciences, but biology could go bury itself for all I cared. But genetics? that was interesting.
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u/DiegoIntrepid 8d ago
I never wanted anything to do with biology, I just liked genetics. I always wanted to be a computer programmer.
I just found it fascinating, how you can take two things, and get a third thing that doesn't seem to have anything in common with the previous two things... until you looked deeper into it. Then you realized that things are *much* more complicated than A + B = C.
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u/Sorcha16 Basically Hitler 7d ago
It did recently happen that a woman gave birth to someone else's embro. She was implanted with someone else child and had to hand over the child to the other family. It happened
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u/aoi4eg happily single, while she is miserable in another marriage. 😁👍 6d ago
People on the Internet still accuse her of using someone else's child for content though.
There's the whole sub dedicated to hating Meghan Markle and people there post "proofs" that Meghan and Harry have no kids and use someone else's to appear in photos and videos.
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u/StripedBadger 8d ago
Oh hun, that’s just the PPD talking. Every woman has that feeling, you’re not special- just get over yourself and you’ll see.
Now hurry up; the house is a mess and your husband can’t very well have his mother come to see the baby while it’s in this state. Get back in the kitchen and start a full Sunday roast so that you have time to be sequestered before the guests arrive. Really, all this hysteria; you really are YTA
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u/floccinaucinili 8d ago
Before you do anything as extreme as a maternity test, have you thought about the impact of your pregnancy diet? Were you eating lots of food with blue food colouring(those pregnancy cravings can be weird) hence the eyes, and yellow foods causing the hair(cheese, pineapple, dandelions)?
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u/JesseB342 8d ago
Well now that you mention it I did have an insatiable craving for #2 Ticonderoga pencils. Do you think all that yellow paint could have done it?
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u/Queenofthekuniverse Will never look like a Victoria's secret model 8d ago
Question: can your baby write with their fingertips? Common problem with eating the number 2 pencils. ✏️
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u/SaffronCrocosmia 8d ago
Why wouldn't you eat #1 pencils? You want your kid to be a fucking second place loser? YTA silver medals aren't gold!
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u/SvPaladin 8d ago
Just spotted the pencel here. What works in the red ink world of competition does not work in the real world of quality product that partners with their users.
Mixing competitive number use in a situation that clearly calls for model number identification use is such a strawman argument that even the scarecrows are facepalming and saying "don't reference us here".
That, and why are you condemning this child to a life of failing standardized tests for having used inferior pencil material in disreguard of the clearly stated instructions, if not to spout more red ink 'corrections' from a place of mistaken authority?
OP here is clearly NTA for having used the top model, best rated, and most endorsed product for her cravings. Are you projecting here much because you recently found out that your mom used second-place product (was it Sharpie instead of Bic?) as she chewed pencaps for stress relief?
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u/SurpriseSnowball 8d ago
INFO: Is your phone blowing up? You didn’t say whether people were blowing up your phone! If yes, NTA. If no, YTA.
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u/johdavis022 8d ago
Are 2 people in your life agreeing with you and 2 others think you’re crazy??? If not YTA
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u/aoi4eg happily single, while she is miserable in another marriage. 😁👍 6d ago
Sorry, it's my fault 😔 I forgot OP gave birth (I have ADHD so it's not my fault I forget things, okay???) and I also had "no phones, no kids, no food, except Beyond Meat® burgers" wedding this weekend, so I didn't blow up her phone (my fat ugly SIL ripped my dress trying to fit into it so she can steal my wife, but that's another story 🙄).
I called her husband today but his reply made no sense (why are you asking me who am I and who gave me your number and why I accuse you of cheating on your wife? It's not the point here!) so I'm positive they're divorcing now.
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u/AdmirableCost5692 8d ago
your husband is being defensive, so is your mother. I bet all my money they had an affair and the baby is actually your sister!
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u/1quincytoo 8d ago edited 8d ago
Get that DNA test now……sounds like he is not yours and let’s face it why would you want that little free loader sucking the life out of you
Update us
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u/schroobster Stay mad hoes 8d ago
My mom was handed the wrong baby when she was being discharged after my birth. Luckily he was a different race...and gender...so my mom figured it out quickly and got them to find the right one.
Or did they??????
(yes they did I look a lot like my family)(Or do I???).
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u/MaryVenetia 8d ago
My close friend’s mother was handed the wrong baby. She didn’t notice, and she breastfed him and everything. Then they came in and said sorry, that’s not actually your son.
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u/kupidietare 8d ago
I love the amount of people commenting that dont realize what sub this is in 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/JesseB342 8d ago
I know right!
I thought the subject matter would be crazy enough by itself for people to realize it was fake but apparently not. 🤷♂️
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u/Smishysmash 8d ago
Freakin fey folk and their shenanigans. Leave that changeling in the woods and start over.
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u/newoldm 8d ago
This happened to someone who was a friend of an acquaintance of the nephew of a brother of a co-worker of mine. She was certain the baby she delivered was not hers. Everyone dismissed her, but she kept right on insisting and she actually grew afraid of newborn. Yet, everyone still thought that she was just being silly. Not even the grey skin and huge oval-shaped glassy eyes and small mouth and long fingers would convince them that her feelings were legitimate.
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u/SaffronCrocosmia 8d ago
I bet those liberals told you that some things are "polygenic traits" and use multiple genes 🙄
Your husband cheated on you and put his pussypop's fertilized egg in your vajoinga, it isn't yours! This happened to my cat's veterinarian's cousin's friend's husband. 😭
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u/baba_oh_really 8d ago
NTA are you even sure you gave birth and your husband isn't just gaslighting you into just thinking you did? Divorce him and make the real mom pay child support
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u/shugersugar 8d ago
Did you take riboflavin during your pregnancy? Big Riboflavin doesn't want you to know this but you can't ignore all the evidence linking prenatal riboflavin to complete fetal genetic transformations. I took a multivitamin while pregnant and gave birth to a Golden Retriever. Do your own research.
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u/imnottheoneipromise 8d ago
Did your husband say the right words? Did the goblin king come and take your baby and it scared your husband because he’s the one that said “I wish the goblin king would come and take you away… right now,” to your baby so he just got some other rando baby hoping you wouldn’t notice.
Oh man, good luck in the Labrynth…
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u/Not_Cleaver 8d ago
Bravo. NTA. What is your husband and mother hiding? Maybe they drugged you and put their combined embryo in you.
Though I do think that there have been cases where people have felt this way due to severe postpartum depression.
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u/traumatizedwi I've seen my fair share of semen 8d ago
NTA! As we all know, all reddit users give birth to twins, and he's not twins! So he can't be yours!
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u/NobodyofGreatImport 8d ago
NTA, have you been drinking much bleach lately? I've heard that bleach can lighten hair and eye color, maybe drinking bleach changed his genetics!
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u/SpiteWestern6739 8d ago
NTA, better safe than sorry, but first you should DNA test yourself to make sure you're actually you. what if they swapped you out for a doppelganger at the hospital and you didn't even notice?
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u/NofairRoo 8d ago
Get a home test and do it.
It doesn’t matter how others feel about this. Do the test and see where it takes you. I just feel like you can’t move on without the test so you should go for it.
Don’t tell anyone cuz they all seem annoyed. except us. We are never annoyed with angels.
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u/Canuck_Wolf 8d ago
I know what this sub reddit is but, all I can now think of is how this could be some horror novel Eldritch horror based shit.
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u/TrickySeagrass For some background, I am a Japanophile 8d ago
NTA this can totally happen. You probably just gained a lot of weight over nine months and then burned it off quickly. Your husband is obviously gaslighting you into thinking you gave birth.
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u/stonerbutchblues AWHB (All Women Have BPD). 8d ago
YTA. This is clearly the result of a BPD episode. Get a psychiatrist.
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u/Key-Spinach-6108 8d ago
You should definitely get checked, you don’t want to be raising someone’s demon child by accident. Also your husband could have Turkey basted you. You never know.
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u/isabellarson 8d ago
NTA. Im really sorry you are in that situation now. Does your husband have any suspicious light haired blue eyed workmate or friend? Demand to get dna from them to prove your baby is actually their baby. Dont back down with all the gaslighting you will get calling you crazy.
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u/genjonesvoteblue 7d ago
I have grown in the past couple weeks to absolutely LOVE this sub. So much fun and laughter. Clever people…❤️
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u/Mundane-Garden-9796 8d ago
I am sorry but your husband and your family sound deeply misogynistic. I don't see why asking for DNA test should be a man privilege ! Just because of your gender, you have to accept the baby as yours. I would seriously question the relationship !
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u/Queenofthekuniverse Will never look like a Victoria's secret model 8d ago
All of my female relatives looked like the late Queen of England. Especially when we did the Queen wave. Huzzah!
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u/Flaky-Ad-3265 8d ago
NTA, the last thing you need is to pay for a child that’s not actually yours!
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u/Superb_Narwhal6101 7d ago
Holy Jesus I didn’t realize what sub I was in, and thought “oh no, this mother has serious PPD and is borderline psychotic.”
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u/borncheeky 4d ago
It was the King of the Hill aliens who impregnated Nancy. They did an embryo transplant this time
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u/Vegetable_Permit_537 3d ago
I literally had to make sure this was r/amitheangel because the shit you see on this hellscape is so fucking ridiculous sometimes.
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u/JesseB342 3d ago
lol. I actually got the idea for this from a Matt Rose video I saw about crazy Quora / Yahoo answers questions people have asked. This was one of them. Apparently there are people out there that really are this stupid.
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u/Sardinesarethebest 8d ago
It's ok. I would get a DNA test if it makes you feel better. I would also talk to your doctor about PPD and PPA. I had a lot of thoughts that spiraled out of control. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Having a baby is so hard on your mind and body. People down play how hard it is. A good psychiatrist and therapist are invaluable. I'd ask your OB for recommendations.
EDIT: For fuck's sake. I completely missed the subredit
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u/Junglejibe 8d ago
Ik it’s a fake post and all but I just wanna say your response was very sweet and empathetic
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u/Sardinesarethebest 7d ago
You're so kind.<3 I'm going to save this post as proof I need as much caffeine as I want lol.
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u/1Shadow179 8d ago
Weirdly enough there was a case where they dna tested the birth mother and father, and the kid came back as his but not hers.
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u/Dense-Result509 8d ago
Wasn't that because the mom was a chimera or something?
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u/DiegoIntrepid 8d ago
Not sure if it was this case or not, but the case I remember, yeah, it was. Her womb, and thus all the reproductive material, was her twin sister's. The twin had been absorbed in the mother's womb, and so when the woman grew up and had children, they came back as related but not maternally.
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u/AgitatedHorror9355 Update: we’re getting a divorce 8d ago
NTA. Your husband needs to realise you have concerns and your feelings are valid! He isn't a doctor!
OOC: Omg, OP this made me cackle so much.
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u/GardenGnome021090 7d ago
For some stupid reason, I thought I was actually reading AITA before going back to the sub title after reading the story lol.
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u/No-Celebration-883 7d ago
All joking aside - a friend of mine is adopted, she always knew that she was. She had her first baby, her looked really like her husband, all good.
Second baby came along and he looked absolutely nothing like her or her husband. He obviously looked like her (or rather her biological family) - she said none of the baby’s features were recognizable - and it really freaked her out. She said if it had been her first baby she would never have had a second one because having given birth to a baby who didn’t look remotely like her or her husband really freaked her - it felt (to her) like she’d given birth to someone else’s baby.
Anyway I know this is a joke but just wanted to throw that in only because I’d heard it before for real!!!
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u/Aromatic-Piglet-9987 6d ago
NTA you might be a secret chimera, this is a perfectly reasonable request
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u/Dreamcrazy33 5d ago
Check out Beeston bunch YouTube. Both parents blonde and blue eyed. Baby girl came out with almost black hair. Her (the mother Sarahs) sister had darker hair . Now that baby is older she’s blonde Cells and genes are so weird.
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u/Time_Machine8601 5d ago
I know this is a shitpost, but I shit you not - I watched this episode of Maury earlier this week.
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u/ScaryCatLady13 4d ago
My eyebrows arched so I had to see what subreddit I was in…I need some sleep
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u/Radiant_Coffee2879 3d ago
Yes, YTA (but hilariously so).
Babies don’t always look like their parents right away, and recessive genes are very real. The fact that you literally gave birth to him means he is 100% biologically yours. Hospitals don’t just “mix things up before birth”—that’s not how any of this works.
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u/Melodic_Ranger926 3d ago
It can't hurt to get a DNA test, but please know that it's not unusual for children to be born with blue eyes and it often takes up to 6-9 months to fully change.
Hair color also changes a lot with babies. My son had blonde hair until he was 3 and it was still a light color in the summer for years.
It sounds like you haven't fully bonded with your baby and that may be why you question maternity and apparently that is not uncommon.
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u/newmumma12 7d ago
NTA - if that baby isn't yours, you need to find the real parents! Ohh how I feel for the real mother. I would be devastated if someone else birthed my baby and brought him home for six weeks. And then if I found out the woman who birthed him got suspicious he wasn't hers and did nothing to fix the mix up, I would probably press charges for kidnapping. OP, you need to help this baby find his real mother!
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u/R0ck3tSc13nc3 8d ago
NTA !
Well rare, there are definitely documented cases where babies were switched, + the test is easy and you can put your mind at rest if you get back a positive result and if you don't, I think you want to find where your baby went don't you?
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u/Blankenhoff 8d ago
Ik this is a shit post but if you ever do feel this way..
Know that babies can often have blode hair vlue eyes when born and then their dsrk festures will slowly come in over tine.
That your hormones might be out of whack and you are becoming paranoid about stuff.
Get a DNA test if you want but dont ignore the paranoia or weird thoughts. They are likely temporsry but you should get treated for post pardom depression/psychosis. This will have the best outcome once you get to the other side of it all.
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u/North_Mama5147 8d ago
Babies are born with blue eyes - they darken over the years. My boy is 9 months now and finally his eyes are browning up.
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u/JaneG79 8d ago
The first year the baby looks like dad and then they change, both of mine looked like there dad nothing of me until they got older
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u/aoi4eg happily single, while she is miserable in another marriage. 😁👍 6d ago
The first year the baby looks like dad
Only if you're married to a bald toothless whiny man who can't communicate properly tho
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u/JaneG79 6d ago
Mine did but they had black hair when born. she can DNA baby
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u/JoeyAnxs 7d ago
NTA firstly no harm in getting a DNA test for peace of mind.
Secondly talk to your Dr about these thoughts as might be something more to it, antenatal and postmortem depression can be one of reason questioning yourself
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u/Tngal321 8d ago
You should talk with your doctor as this sounds like PP anxiety and depression.
You can pay on more than you personally exhibit. Babies tend to be born lighter as they don't have enough melanin yet. Not uncommon to be born with blue eyes and they turn brown around age 3YO. Both you and your husband could have had blue eyes and different colored hair as babies but you may don't notice it in the photos. It's also possible for both of you to be very dark skinned with dark hair and have a grown biological child that's a fair skinned, blue eye blond due to a prior ancestor. The whole two brown eyed patents can't have a blue eyed one has been repeatedly disproven. Ever DNA identicals can look fraternal due to epigenetics.
Not bonding or feeling connected with your baby isn't unusual but it can be a sign of PP anxiety and depression which may require treatment.
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u/kupidietare 8d ago
Read what sub reddit this is 😂🤣🤣
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u/Tngal321 8d ago
Didn't catch it but seems weird to joke about paranoia in a PP mom especially in how horribly it can end.
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u/Thin-Bill4533 7d ago
Get a DNA test cuz the hospitals had been known to mess up babies good luck . Nothing else is for yourself satisfaction
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u/MaximumTrick2573 7d ago
You need to not ask are you the asshole for wanting to know and wonder instead what you would do with the information you get from a test. That’s where a potential asshole is made.
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u/Character-Tear-5019 5d ago
Nta cuz even though rare people have had cases where their baby was switched at birth
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u/DixieLandDelight1959 5d ago
I'm confused. You passed that baby, and you're wondering if you're the mother?
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u/NewNameAgainUhg 5d ago
I mean... After I read the story of that poor woman who was transferred the wrong embryo by IVF... Everything is possible
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u/Rosie_Journo_UK 4d ago
My cousin and her ex are both brown haired, brown eyed. She gave birth to their son who was very fair, blonde haired, blue eyed. He looked nothing like them. But as he got older and his face changed, he started to look like a combo of both of them. This happens. It’s nothing to worry about.
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u/DarkCatzy 4d ago
Unless your baby was removed from the delivery room (at which point he/she could have been accidentally swapped with another baby—it happens), I don’t see where these doubts stem from.
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u/Wanda_McMimzy 4d ago
NTA. My first thought was that the baby was switched at the hospital. Sure, your husband claims to have witnessed it come out of you, but then they whisk the baby away and they all look alike. The simplest reason is usually the likeliest.
But I don’t trust his reaction. It’s weird that he wouldn’t want to just put your mind at ease with a simple test you can do at home now. Not like the old days when dna testing started. Plus, stuff gets weird mentally post partum. He should’ve been willing to do it to comfort you. I bet he did something. Someone mentioned switching eggs, but what if he got a different embryo and poked it up there? Definitely get the dna test. Good luck! I hope you get the answer you want!
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u/krispynz2k 4d ago
What -so you wrote all of this as satire for entertainment?
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u/JesseB342 4d ago
Well I didn’t actually write it, I just fed a prompt into ChatGPT. And yes, I did write it for entertainment purposes but that’s kind of the entire point of this sub. Check the sub description.
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u/dropdrill 8d ago
Maternity test -If you want to do it, do it. Stop making drama and talking about it. Do it
And get some counseling. Now. Whatever the answer is, you will need counseling.
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u/Apart-Garage-4214 7d ago
Take the test. The baby is 100% yours but the test doesn’t hurt and the rest of us are eager to hear what your next issue is going to be. Also, babies’ hair and eye color change all the time, and recessive genes are actually a ‘thing.’ Read a book. Good luck.
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u/PsychologicalLeg2416 5d ago
You realize that two white people can have a black baby .
The odds are astronomical , but it can happen .
If the baby came from inside you . It’s yours ..
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u/popsiclesix 8d ago
NTA. An idiot maybe, but not an asshole. I am so disappointed you were able to procreate before your mental defectiveness was discovered .. God help the world as your I'll take the torch.
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u/GrinchG94 7d ago
Sounds like PPD. Pls pls pls talk to your doctor immediately!!!! Also all baby’s are really light when born..both my baby’s had blue eyes up until a year old now they are both brown.
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u/Status_Chocolate_305 8d ago
Post Partum Sepression can do strange things to the mind. To settle your mind and protect your baby, I would suggest doing a DNA test. As long as you will then feel more settled in the mind. I would also suggest therapy as your baby doesn't deserve this.
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u/sleepinand Upon arriving at home, I entered it stoically 8d ago
Post Partum Suppression is so funny, I need that as my flair.
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u/Chickadee12345 8d ago
Genetics are a funny thing. Both my parents had brown hair, but I was a blond until started to hit puberty. Then my hair turned into more of a dark chestnut color. Many babies are born with blue eyes. This very likely will change as the baby grows older, usually between 6-12 months, sometimes up to 2 years. But it's also possible that both you and your husband have the recessive blue eye gene and due to the genetic lottery, your baby inherited it. If this baby came out of your body and you got pregnant the natural way, this is your biological child. I always tell the story about my neigbors fraternal twin boys. Dad was middle eastern and mom was white/European. One twin has blond hair and blue eyes and paler skin, while the other has a darker complexion, brown eyes and brown hair. You'd never even know they were brothers.
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u/astersays 8d ago
you do not need a test. it's only been six weeks and the first born son always looks JUST like dad and barely like mom. as your baby gets a couple months older you will see.
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u/Miserable_Emu5191 8d ago
Nta! Your husband probably switched your eggs with his affair partners twin eggs while you were sleeping and you have given birth to his affair partner’s baby.