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I’m dx ADHD and have been suspecting autism, and I’ve heard a few people say that their ASD traits started showing more after they were medicated for ADHD.

Can anyone share more about what that looked like for them?

I’ve been really struggling socially even more since I started meds last year, and I’m wondering if there is a possible correlation.

TLDR; having both disorders makes me a walking oxymoron and I’m exhausted and jealous of those who don’t have this dichotomy because i dont know how to accommodate myself when theyre constantly at odds with eachother

I often find myself jealous, when hearing/reading of their experiences, of people who “just” have ADHD or “just” autism. I rationally know having only one of the two doesnt make your life automatically easier. However, i feel like when you have both, the tips and styles of living that either group has, just doesnt work. I get so jealous when i read about the autistic special interest focus that people have, where when they’re really interested they can sustain that interest for days, weeks, months, years. I of course have special interests, but its never been just one, nor has it been something i can make money off of.

Then i hear and read about adhd’ers who are able to socialise, network, travel and see the world without meltdowns, and have plenty of human relationships where they actually find other humans interesting, as well as thriving on high pressure, high intensity lifestyles and jobs.

I just feel lost and angry that i have both disorders and when i try to leverage the gifts of one (say, autistic monotropism) the other comes butting in like a bull in a china shop to destroy the system ive built for myself to function. I feel like a walking breathing oxymoron and its exhausting, i genuinely have no idea how i will ever find a lifestyle or job thats right for me, because everything i do, im either suffering autistically, or from my adhd.

Has anyone here figured out a system to appease both sides of yourself when theyre constantly at odds??

I desperately need to losee 80-100 pounds so I can move without pain and feel comfortable in my body.

I'm so "stuck" - I'm thank you figure out if there is some kind of "aha!" moment that makes my brain no longer see this as challenging.

A bit about me:

• Ive been able to lose big amounts of weight before, but always remained thick. I had to diet EXTREMELY to achieve this, being in the diet basically became my personality. It was never sustainable.

• I've been in burnout for so long, my executive function is non-existent and cooking is hard.

• I have no problem eating the same thing everyday for multiple days in a row but my children are not okay with that, and it's really hard for me to cook for one meal let alone cooking separate meals so the kids can have something different

• I don't have any particular pattern where I'm always binging on certain things. So it's not like there's any particular trigger that I can try to avoid or just "handle differently"

• I'm not opposed to captain calories and logging food but I always come up against roadblocks when the food logging gets really complicated (like if I cooked some kind of ad hoc homemade recipe and it's not in a WW database that I have to log all the foods separately and I usually give up at that point)

• I did see an app where you can take photos of your food and it calculates things but it seems so incredibly not reliable and so that was unfortunate

• I can't eat "intuitively", alexithymia is weird. Sometimes I feel what I think is hunger and then I will get all snacky, other times I wonder why I'm feeling weird and then I realize it's because I'm starving (which makes me feel like maybe that first feeling ISNT hunger but I've mistaken it for hunger?)

• If I am not looking at something I forget it exists. Even apples or things I JUST bought from the store.

• I feel like I don't know how people are even SUPPOSED to eat; what are we supposed to crave? How often do we get hungry? Am I supposed to crave fruits and vegetables? I feel like a hot mess.

WHAT HAS WORKED FOR YOU?!?

Thinking I was NT my entire life has me automasking to the point of delusion and depression. Figuring out i was audhd has really made things from my childhood make sense.

I just don't know how to stop masking, or even understand how I'm masking. Everyone thinks I'm normal and just always melancholy for no reason.

I haven't told anyone about my audhd yet except husband and friend who both agree but idk how to live and know who I am anymore.

Does anybody feel anger / rage to the point that they're wearing at their skin I can literally feel it's coming out of my teeth I clench and bite down on my teeth will stop I am 35 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at 19 last year diagnosed with autism. I hate all these labels. However these labels people judge you on when they read about you. Not who they seem in front of you. The other night I had an episode where I was literally flooring at least skin biting myself, and I can literally feel through my teeth the rage full stop then I came to an epiphany. I realized that when I wake up in the morning I have this feeling whether I've been triggered or not. So I rang up my shrink and I asked is it a thing with people where when they wake up they have to expel their nervous energy some kind of pent up energy and if they don't it affects their whole day and move. He said absolutely. I like to know about other people's experiences and opinions and advice thank you in advance for

I have been out of work for 9 months. I just finished my first week at a new job and the level of overstimulation is so insane. I didn't realize how much my nervous system relaxed without the constant exposure to other people, noise, smells, lights, etc. With being home all this time. Friday evening I was out to dinner with family and I was so jumpy and literally almost had a panic attack when a semi drove past. It's made me look back and realize that I used to be jumpy all the time.

Does anyone else experience this or have any advice on handling it?

growing up, i was always told i was really good at reading people's emotions and i would say now i am pretty good at reading the room... a little too good sometimes. however, im so bad at figuring out how to respond to reading someone's emotions. whenever i feel like something is off/different, i never know if i should acknowledge it, conform to it, or just ignore it.

like even in regular conversation i pick up on their cues but it's almost like i have a bar over my head with options on how to respond, like how much emphasis on certain words to match theirs, what kind of tone should i use, how do i say this with the least words possible, and i never know which one i should choose. often times i end up saying nothing or not enough to express myself how i wanted to. upon getting a job, i was definitely able to see more day-to-day interactions and improve my ability to communicate but i can't help but feel like an npc choosing pre-generated options to say and that i'm not functioning as myself.

i also am horrendous at comforting people. i can empathize (i think) but i never know how to express that i am trying to comfort them without saying the wrong thing or relating it to myself too much. sometimes it makes me question if i really do care because i struggle to express myself in a way that conforms to their emotions. or i feel like im faking my concern because im stuck trying to remember how so-and-so comforted someone in a similar situation.

I've been trying to pull myself out of burnout stemming from a complete shutdown for a long while. my wife and I (37f) went into lockdown in 2020 and didn't resume normal life ever again. basically, I rarely leave the house and feel slightly agoraphobic at this point. however, because I grew up as an autistic girl in a microscopic town, I thrived in chat rooms and on message boards when we finally got an internet connection. 12 of my 15 classmates hated me, but most people in a chat room found me hilarious and couldn't believe how young I was (I prrrobably should have been supervised when using the internet lol). not actually having to talk to people is fantastic and I'm able to actually express myself so much more effectively.

although I do feel like I'm doing better, I also feel very lonely and I desperately want to reach out to people, but... it's a fucking impossible task to reply to them. I've tried reframing it more closely to how I felt about messaging when I was younger, which was exciting and new and novel. but it feels so much like a demand now and I absolutely fit the PDA profile. every DM or text makes me want to scream and chuck my phone into traffic. I should maybe mention that I don't leave my house for work, so no outside socialization either 💀

part of me suspects that I'm understimulated, but I don't know how to be not overstimulated. I'm tired and I'm not even sure what specific help I'm seeking here. I'm not sure what else to do right now.

I took the RAADS R test with my boyfriend for fun today and scored a 98, but I’m not sure if that’s just because I have ADHD. The description doesn’t really say anything about how people with ADHD but not autism typically score on the test. I was also confused at the test because it didn’t feel very similar to stuff about autism I see online in tiktoks and stuff (not a reliable source I know). Is there a way to know if it’s just adhd or if I really could have autism? I also am an anxious person so that may contribute. When I figured out I had adhd it made so much sense, but this seems kind of confusing for me. I do struggle socially sometimes but I thought that’s just being awkward and having anxiety.

I need a haircut. Can't face getting my haircut

I have very few rules when getting my haircut and I always seem to walk out with the opposite of what I've asked for.

I even say "sorry, I know I'm paranoid and I'm not good at explaining, can you repeat what I've just said to you so I can mske sure I've explained it well" and they will repeat it back for me.

It doesn't matter if it's expensive or cheap. I always have to rewash my hair the next day too. And they keep trying to curl it and put hairspray in it. It doesn't suit me but half of it will go straight and the other half will stay curly within 5 minutes and it doesn't look right. But then they act annoyed when i don't want that.

I'm extremely lost, because no matter how much I research I just can't figure out if I could also have ASD on top of my ADHD. Have you ever had such times in your journey? How did you deal with that? I feel so overwhelmed with everything and I've got so many questions... Like, how do you even begin concluding anything about your own experience when everyone's so different? I know getting professional help is the most straight forward way out of this, but I've already been turned away twice, so for now I just want to deal with this on my own... (PS. I hope asking this here is okay!)

I'm curious if other women have experienced being totally brushed off and labeled as Bipolar, BPD, Schizo, or anything like that when it was just Autism and ADHD? What did you experience while on the medications if you were prescribed any?

I've been prescribed so many mood stabilizers and antidepressants- they don't work and I experience terrible side effects. I'm asking because I feel so alone and I don't feel confident advocating for myself because of how alone I feel. So I guess it's DAE and Question but I can only choose one.

Has any therapy form like CBT, DBT, or any others been especially helpful to you? In unmasking, self acceptance, anxiety, and building strengths?

My 24 year old daughter is going to be spending 4-5 months with family in France (we currently live in Asia), and I'm trying to find out whether it will be possible for her to get more Ritalin while she's there, as her doctor here can only prescribe a maximum of 3 months.

We're fortunate to have private health insurance that will cover all appointments and medication, but I don't know how to go about finding a doctor over there who treats ADHD, and whether she could just show up with a letter from her current psychiatrist and be prescribed Ritalin or if the doctor would insist on some kind of re-assessment. She's not a French citizen, and won't have any proof of address as she will just be staying with family, so I don't know if that would be a problem as well.

If anyone is in France, Switzerland or Germany and can help with any information or advice, I'd really appreciate it. My daughter is obviously pretty anxious about running out of meds, as she really struggles without Ritalin. She'll be staying in the Rhône Alpes area, but could travel to a neighbouring country if necessary. Thank you to anyone who can help!

All I've ever been exposed to is advice from neurotypical people for neurotypical people. It is engraved in my brain and I don't know how to not think that way. I'm late diagnosed, I spent 28 years believing I was an NT who was just really really bad at life. Now I know that I'm audhd..I just don't really know what to do.

The only things I have swirling around my mind is advice for relationships, work, health, lifestyle, time management, hobbies, motivations, emotions, fun etc is for neurotypical people. It controls me and keeps me stuck in this negative space. It's been a few years since I first self diagnosed and I don't feel like things are getting any better, in fact I feel like I'm getting worse. I don't have any neurodivergent people in my life and I can't afford consistent therapy so I'm in it alone and I am exhausted.

Should I be reading books? Researching more than I already do? Will this change as I learn more about myself and autism, adhd, neurodiversity in general? or will I always feel this way?

Firstly I wanna put a brief trigger warning just for the mention of abuse, no details or anything.

Anyone else been living with extreme escapism basically their entire life?

I think I have always been this way for the most part maybe not fully due to being ND growing up but also because I lived in a abusive household (the physical abuse was never towards myself but instead my mom and animals but i was emotionally abused and neglected)

I remember spending a lot of time in my room playing or listening to music or watching my favorite monster high movie over and over.

It never was particularly bad until I was around 9 and got my hands on youtube for the first time. My first ever hyperfixations began and were very intense to say the least.

It's all I would think about, interact with and spend time on creatively.

This continued for the next decade of my life and peaked at 19. I was an all or nothing person when it came to interests. I loved my fixations so much that I would neglect my own needs and health just to spend my entire day on my laptop reloading twitter over and over hoping for new fanart or content. They made me depressed, suicidal. I felt like if I couldn't feel this way forever I needed to die or if the fixation I had didn't have too much content because it was niche I would be depressed and resentful.

I didn't finish school because I simply was not present enough. I didn't wanna go because in my brain it was interfering with time that could be spent feeling "good" about the stuff I like. I couldn't give my energy to anything other than my silly little fixations.

Last year I was 19 and had a bad downward spiral. 2024 was a blur, I spent it all in my room, in the dark on my laptop or phone or both, I didn't leave the house or talk to anyone, I hardly ate and I was doing a lot of edibles. This happened after I dropped out. I seemingly had nothing else to live for in the "real world" so I didn't bother with it.

I ended up going to ER at some point and once I realized I was damaging myself my OCD latched onto that and I have been horrified of hyperfixations ever since.

I am doing a lot better. I see a good therapist and have been on meds for 5 months now. I can actually go outside without being overcome with the need to go home immediately. I have DPDR so reality still feels intimidating especially when I feel so disoriented and disconnected from it. But I'm trying.

I'm trying really hard to be a better version of myself but I still get intrusive thoughts anytime I watch a show or play a game telling me I'll get sucked into it and bed rot for the next 4 months or something and it scares me so bad I cut off a lot of interests.

I just don't wanna be stuck in my own little world when it wasn't even doing me many favors to begin with. I've been trying to balance things but it's difficult when I've spent the last 10 years of my life doing anything but balance.

Anyways, just thought I'd share since I haven't really seen a lot of people talk about the negative impacts hyperfixations or escapism has had on them.

Disclaimer: this is a very personal experience, it might work differently for others. Just in case it might help someone, I'd like to share what I've learned lately. It doesn't require any response, but feel free to share if you want. I know I'm not alone in this, we are not alone in this. But it helps to get reminded of that every now and then.

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I often get stuck in what I call anxiety loops. I think they might be meltdowns, but I find the term anxiety loop more apt, because it's really not just one event, it's a meltdown followed by a negative spiral, a vortex that pulls me under. I feel overwhelmed/anxious/emotional and I don't know how to deal with it. I desperately look for something or someone to comfort me, but that usually doesn't help (enough), so on top of that I feel guilty, ashamed, desperate, broken. And it becomes that much harder to get out of it.

Before, I was doing the three steps I was taught:

1. Acceptance (this is what's happening, I can't stop it)
2. Comfort (it's ok, it will pass, you're still a good person, people won't just stop loving you)
3. Distraction (whatever works)

But, I often get stuck in the comfort stage, because I'm terrible at self-soothing, and relying on others for comfort just throws me back to before step 1, because I can't accept the guilt and the shame, instead they are just stacking on the anxiety. Which is why I keep getting stuck, not being able to escape the loop, and feeling like things become SO MUCH BIGGER than they actually are. (Which has led to me pushing people away in the past, because they couldn't handle my emotional instability/insecurity, or found me too needy or tiring.)

So I've decided to switch steps 2 and 3 (and add a step 4), and I'm going for:

1. Acceptance: It's ok to freak out, I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm not doing it on purpose, it's always gonna be a part of me, so I shouldn't exhaust myself fighting it.
2. Distraction: Talk about something fun, put on a podcast or tv show, dance, play the piano, go outside or jump up and down to get the adrenaline out of my system > depending on the balance between sadness and panic.
3. Comfort: When I'm calm, I'm usually also exhausted, so time for a cup of tea, a hot shower, maybe a hug or some kind words > if there's no one else to comfort me, I'll be calm enough to do it myself, or I just go to sleep.
4. Reflection (yay bonus step): did this happen because
   • I'm just tired and/or stressed > rest, relax, maybe dial down on activities or work
   • there was an actual trigger > in which case, is this a trigger
     • I can avoid (by avoiding people or situations, preparing better, or asking people to help me with it) > avoid it or ask for help (fight the shame or guilt, worst they can say is no)
     • I can't or don't want to avoid (because I can't control it, or because it's simply worth it) > better start accepting it, baby

I’m dx ADHD and have been suspecting autism, and I’ve heard a few people say that their ASD traits started showing more after they were medicated for ADHD.

Can anyone share more about what that looked like for them?

I’ve been really struggling socially even more since I started meds last year, and I’m wondering if there is a possible correlation.

I’m 41 audhdh and have chronic pain. I’m currently in a vocational rehab program and trying to figure out what I can do for work. Folks have been suggesting that I become a therapist, but I’m concerned I’m going to become too burned out to make a living doing that. I don’t have an official autism diagnosis, (and i don’t want one in case I need to gtfo of 🇺🇸). I prefer to do more somatic work but I never now how my body is going to hold up should i go the massage therapy route. Any advice?

Disclaimer: you can’t trick someone into diagnosis!! <for any trolls that may find their way here

I told my therapist about a conversation with my mom recently, how I told her that I feel like I tricked my therapist.

My therapist laughed and said “op, we only went over the diagnostic criteria that day, but I’ve been talking to you for months. I thought you already knew you had it”

Which is funny and a relief that she reassured me.

I made sure to tell her that I believe her and trust her, it’s just this little voice inside of me.

Anyone have the same experience?

Is you all probably know, a symtom of adhd us misplacing and losing items daily, aswell as being forgetful.

But when I say I have mad memory, I mean I have a bad fucking memory.

I can't remember things I was thinking of 3 seconds ago, or after a lesson I'll completely forget what it was about or what lesson I was even in, I can't remeber any deadlines and have tocontatnly remind myself you need to do this or go there, and STILL end up forgetting..

Even though I oversleep at home I'm always falling asleep in classes, at church.. I was once at a pentecostal one where they were blasting music and I still managed to fall asleep..

I've started making silly mistakes

Such as making a new slide when I was supposed to click texbox, then opening another slide (less than 3 secs later) instead of the actual textbox

I can hear people speak, but my mind wanders off onto a different topic, but while I'm thinking I don't even know what I'm thinking and when I'm brought back to attention I can't recall what i was so distracted about before

For fucks sake I've even forgotten my own birthday before.

It's not like I'm not retaining the information, say we learn about circles in math, you give me a question about circles I'll do it easily- but ask me about what I learnt in math? My mind just blanks

If im being honest I can't recall the past 3-4 years of my life, getting confused when a freind reminded me of our relationship in yr seven (I didn't even know we were friends in yr 7) aswell as being surprised after being reminded that my neice was taken into the care system, even though it happened the same year, a few months ago. Not that I didn't know she was in care, I just didn't remeber it happening. At all.

It feels like I'm trapped in the present, nothing before, nothing after... just now.

Idk if all this is the audhd or something else, but It feels like life is just slipping away from me no matter how hard I try to hold on

A few days ago I felt a little pathetic asking a bunch of strangers to wish me a happy birthday but you reaally and truely delivered! I thanked everyone that commented but actually I wanna thank EVERYONE on this sub for being such excellent humans.

More than once I have felt like I’m a nag that constantly comments and writes about stuff but noone has made me feel less than, more often than not you have appreciated my off the wall and slightly unhinged lifehacks (and asked for more, beware what you’re asking for). You are the best home a neurospicy gal can ask for and I hope y’all feel the same.

So… to satisfy the curiosity some people expressed: pictures of my loot and a description of my lil adventure!

I started the day by getting makeup, asking advice and finding out that you really do need to exfoliate (blegh). People commenting on how well my green stuff match what I’m buying (duh, I got the tism that only likes certain colours)

Went on an adventure in a small town where people were confused that a young person was visiting in the middle of the workday (me and the retirees mostly). I found a looot of good stuff!

Like… a book about van gogh and the letters he wrote (van gogh alive is and always will be a fond memory), a scented candle like one I bought in college (memories!).

Materials for a new project! Not really on purpose but hey… I got a fabric that matches something I bought at second hand shop perfectly… also some plastic protectivw sleeves for my audhd friendly binder of recipes (if people ask I might share?)

Some nailstuff, the latest obsession…

Went home, recovered some in my bednook with my spacelamp… woke up with a migraine and a surprise visit from my parents! They live hours away and surprised me with my favorite food and cake ❤️❤️❤️

I literally couldn’t have pictured a better birthday (maybe no headache but whatever). And you all made me so happy to check my phone. The messages just poured in and I’m still thanking people!

So…. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!