r/Autism_Parenting • u/Whateveryousay333 I am a Parent/3/ASD level 2-3/FL • Feb 27 '25
Early Diagnosis Officially diagnosed
So my 3 year old was diagnosed with level 2/3 autism . It’s not a surprise but I still cried because I guess I hoped it was mild. He has had OT , therapists , early learning ,an iep but this was the first time someone (neuropsychologist) actually said the words , this appt was 8 months booked. I’ve known for a while but always second guessed myself. I’m upset and my friends /supports won’t let me be upset . I think it’s normal ? I don’t think anyone gets it except for people here .
Now I have to get him Aba , ot , and more speech on top of his 35 hour school week . I feel a mixture of guilt /worry all of the time . Will definitely be talking about this in therapy next week . Thanks for letting me share.
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u/VanityInk Feb 27 '25
We pretty much knew what was coming by the time my daughter got her diagnosis. I still cried/was in a funk about it for a few days. It's hard when you have things confirmed/have a label affixed when you would rather it not be there.
That said, levels are just based on support needs and can change through a child's life. My friend's daughter was first given level 3 because she was completely nonverbal and would not respond to anyone else around her. By preschool, they amended to level 2. She's now doing so well in preschool that they may even mainstream her with a 1:1 comes kindergarten. Levels given, especially when so young, mean next to nothing (doctors will even sometimes inflate them just to get more covered by insurance). You also don't need to throw everything under the sun at him at once. We decided to forgo ABA and did a special needs preschool class for my daughter along with a more "Floortime" based social group. She's done just fine without it. Take some time to calm down and then decide what is best for you and your son. You have time. You got this.
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u/Smeph_Bot Feb 27 '25
I feel this so much. We KNEW our daughter has autism, but I still cried when the doctor told me.
It’s totally normal. There is always a level of emotions that comes with the diagnosis. I think some of my tears were relief, now we can get going on therapies, now I can get going on support systems etc. and I think most of the tears were grief. All normal.
Big hugs OP, wishing you and your son all the best in the world.
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u/Green_Audience_7882 Feb 27 '25
I was honestly so relieved, we finally had an answer and some direction. Before that we were lost and felt guilty.
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u/Trysta1217 Parent/6yo/Lvl2/USA Feb 27 '25
We got the level 2/3 autism diagnosis at age 3 too. I didn't cry at first (I was in deep denial at first about how serious it was). But then off and on I'd have days where it seemed like all I did was cry, especially early on. It is overwhelming and frankly it is something to be upset over. Your child has a life long disability. You get to be upset about that. I'm sure your support system are trying to be positive because, particularly when it comes to autism, that is what people try to do. And there definitely is still room for the positive in your life and your child's life! But right now, you don't need that. Right now you need the space to feel however you feel and to mourn the future you thought you had to look forward to. That's ok.
Once you get all the therapies in place and feel like you are doing something (and for the record you are WAY ahead of where I was at that time), it does start to feel better. It helps with the guilt at least.
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u/Bigtruckdriverrrrr Feb 27 '25
When you say that the neuro finally said the words, did the therapists and everyone else that helped say your toddler maybe autistic ?
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u/Whateveryousay333 I am a Parent/3/ASD level 2-3/FL Feb 27 '25
Not really . He went to school for autism . None of those people were able to diagnose I guess so no one ever said anything about autism even though I did.
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u/Disastrous_Bison_910 Feb 27 '25
I haven’t cried yet but my husband did and I had to stay strong. I want to lose it but haven’t been able to do it.
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u/Past_Cold_969 Feb 27 '25
Of course you're allowed to be upset. I cried the that those words left the doctors mouth and every other time I've told someone about it. It's natural.