r/AutisticAdults • u/TortillaRampage • 1d ago

seeking advice Resources for Autistic Parents for Autistic children

I am working on getting diagnosed myself, but my son is diagnosed for ASD. Over the last few weeks, I feel like my sensitivity to his loud behavior and screaming from over stimulation, which makes me over stimulated. I have been feeling much less patient with him lately.

Are there any resources or audio books for autistic parents for parenting autistic children? I'm really struggling and I hate getting so angry with him. I absolutely love my special boy but I feel like I am damaging our relationship by getting so mad with him on the daily.

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u/GirlBehindTheMask-LW 1d ago

Have you tried noise cancelling headphones? It helps me. I’m autistic and both of my kids are and my oldest also has intellectual disability. I haven’t found any books on the topic though and I have a lot of autism books lol

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u/industrialAutistic ASD 3h ago

They help so much to muffle the loud outbursts of my (undiagnosed) son....

NC headphones are a game changer!

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u/SadonaSaturday 23h ago

I’m an autistic nanny and I use noise canceling earbuds whenever it’s around times that the child gets loud (diaper change, waiting on a bottle/food, clean up, going to bed, whatever their grumpy times can be) and when I’m deregulated.

I find being outside, water play, music and dancing, and reading to be relaxing to both myself and many children I work with, so we can usually engage in those how we desire to regulate ourselves positively throughout the day.

Recently I heard someone say we should teach children to calm themselves down outside of times of crisis, so I have been practicing deep breathing and modeling it to the child I work with (NT 18 months) during peaceful times when we’re playing in the garden or sitting on the couch or reading. I have then been practicing doing deep breathing when they are in a stressful time as well (transition usually) and they have been catching on/it is helping me to be more present and regulate myself as well. Very much a win win for me recently because we’d had a lot of teething crying and it was stressing me out.

It’s also totally valid to recognize you are totally overwhelmed and just need a break for a few!! Put the child in an area that is safe for them or with another person and step outside in the sun or put water on your face to help yourself reset your nervous system. Screaming/crying can be very triggering so it’s valid to feel upset, it is our bodies natural reaction. It is important to recognize that feeling is a feeling in your body and not necessarily an emotion towards your child. My work kid doesn’t hate me or want me to have a bad day because she’s in pain with teething, she’s just in pain. I’m not mad at her for screaming, I’m upset by the noise and need to get my headphones in, maybe step out for a second just to ease the panic that my body feels.

I don’t have any particular resources to offer but may have more advice depending on the age of your child and what their needs are. My experience is primarily with children under 5.