Question for autistic PhD students or those who frequently present. How can I up my enthusiasm while maintaining my train of thought during my dissertation defense?

[u/Aromatic_Account_698]

I'm (31M as of today) a 5th year PhD student in Experimental Psychology. I'm posting with a fairly unique question since I feel like I can some insight on this sub. In addition to my level 1 ASD, I also have ADHD-I, dysgraphia, and 3rd percentile processing speed (this is all relevant trust me). When I speak, I'm often super deliberate and speak slowly to the point others will notice that I talk slow. This is because I'm super deliberate when I speak almost all of the time. I only talk fast when I'm anxious. I also have an extremely monotone voice that goes flat when I present. In addition, I have the unique neurodivergent challenge of not being able to balance the performance aspect of lecturing (e.g., modulating my voice) at the same time as I'm talking. If I put effort into acting/masking during the lecture, I lose my train of thought and eventually stop speaking altogether. Even when I was open to students about my autism, it didn't stop them from complaining about my style anyway.

I realize this question might be a bad one given that it involves me masking as I lecture, which I know is frowned upon big time in this sub. At the same time though, I understand that I'm not going to fundamentally change what audiences want any time soon either and need to find that balance. Is there some way I can modulate my voice while still maintaining my train of thought? If there isn't at all, I can accept that. I'm looking to hear from those who are autistic PhD students, those who have a PhD in hand themselves, or do public speaking in their job in some capacity.

[u/ReserveMedium7214]

Autistic PhD students? As a former “gifted kid” turned “lazy, doesn’t work to full potential” ne’er-do-well, that concept just floors me. I only realized I’m autistic last year (53M), and all my life I just knew I was supposed to have been bound for academic success and thought I was simply making bad choices. I’m glad to know there are autistics out there whose “situation” hasn’t completely stunted their academic potential. I wish you success.

[u/Aromatic_Account_698 → u/ReserveMedium7214]

I relate to a lot of what you said. I've been lucky my parents provided me with a ton of outside support for me to get through every stage of my education. I gradually needed less and less support over time though.

Thank you as well.

[u/icklecat]

Do you find that you project more enthusiasm in any of the ways you mentioned (vocal inflection, pace, etc) when you talk about specific things that you enjoy or are interested in? Or does it not matter?

I find if I insert references to current topics or activities of interest, it can make a big difference in my presentation style. Like whenever I need to present an example, I try to pick an example that relates to a special interest. It may not connect with or mean anything to anyone in the audience, but just having those little treats scattered in there can inject a lot of energy for me.

Hannah Gadsby has described a similar thing where they deliberately use a lot of blue in their clothing and set design because they like blue, and during Nanette they inserted a nostalgic detail about a cup of tea at a particular point in the set to cheer themselves up and emotionally regulate.

[u/Aromatic_Account_698 → u/icklecat]

I've been told my voice has more enthusiasm when I "talk about myself" and that includes special interests too.

I'm likely going to take a page out of what you listed in the last two paragraphs in particular since those are golden. Especially the emotion regulation piece since I have trouble with that usually.

[u/AproposofNothing35]

Walk around a little. This was described to me as being ‘dynamic’.

Watch the most popular Ted Talks and emulate them.

Video yourself and watch it. Improve and repeat.

[u/YodanianKnight]

No clue. I just stressed through 😬.

Good luck though!

[u/Entr0pic08]

I think the only thing that works here is practice. Learn what you want to say by heart so you don't have to think too much about it. Then you can focus on adding inflection instead.

I personally don't have this problem with speech but I have this problem with eye contact and trying to focus on body language and facial expressions, so I get where you're coming from. I can't focus on analyzing those things in a conversation and also try to keep my train of thought.

[u/StandardIssueWaffle]

I wrote exactly what I was going to say on each slide on the note section in power point. I practiced a couple of times with people from my cohort and with my partner. I got better at it each time I practiced.

I had the opportunity to do it on zoom, so that helped a lot too! I didn’t have to worry about also making eye contact while I presented. I just used the presenters view on my laptop screen with my camera, so it seemed like I was just looking at my camera as I was reading through my notes.

[u/TheChrissyP]

I am actually thinking of bringing a stim toy (i have a knitted ball that is super nice to squeeze) for my dissertation (which will be after summer probably) and stim openly while I present. It helps me focus and keep my thoughts in one place. It is maybe not very "normal" behaviour but who is gonna stop me??

The day of the phD dissertation is probably gonna be an overstimulating day, so I plan to book a room where I can be alone in the breaks as well.

If you normally is excited for your topic maybe keeping the stress level down with breaks and stims may help, but if you struggle to communicate your excitedness or just isn't, practice may be your best friend

Edit: typos