r/BG3 • u/One_Minimum_6869 • Oct 18 '24

Meme My wife thinks Gortash is ugly Spoiler

About 100+ hours into me and my wife’s play-through. It’s her first time playing past Act 1 and we’ve just beaten Act 2. Every time we meet a new character my wife loves to talk about how beautiful they are,why she wishes that persons hair was available for her or I to have, or how awesome someone’s outfit is. We’ve killed more than a dozen npc’s just to check if there outfits are loot-able. Jump cut to the end of Act 2, first Ketheric fight. My wife just like I, loved the performance and character of Ketheric even down to the armor. We beat Ketheric and make it down to the Colony. We encounter “The chosen three” for the first time. My wife is in awe of Orin’s bloody beauty along side Ketheric’s overwhelming authority. When suddenly the camera pans to a very greasy man wearing eyeliner, “ew wtf is that” my wife utters… Gosh she’s so funny without even realizing.

1.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/MachinationMachine Oct 18 '24

He is. He looks like an aging, disgraced early 2000's emo singer who got busted for hooking up with a minor or something.

594

u/arcticfury129 Oct 18 '24

He looks like if Onision dragon-ball fused with human shrek

177

u/rock_n_roll_clown Oct 19 '24

Absolutely vile statement. I will never recover from this. What is now seen cannot be unseen.

71

u/jpterodactyl Oct 19 '24

Sometimes I see things on here that I’m embarrassed to understand.

18

u/arcticfury129 Oct 19 '24

Be a true durge and embrace the inner chaos of your mind

26

u/Maxcalibur Oct 19 '24

What a creative mind you have I love that description lmao

7

u/TouchMeFaster Oct 19 '24

You cooked.

3

u/Frau_Asyl Oct 20 '24

I had a similar thought upon the first time seeing him. I thought "This guy looks like a dragon ball fusion of onision and billie joe armstrong"

1

u/GuyHiding Oct 20 '24

I curse you for reminding me of onion boy

1

u/dragonagegirl1996 Oct 20 '24

I snorted laughing at your comment 🤣 😂 😆

1

u/Henderson-McHastur Oct 21 '24

"This is my divinely Chosen BODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

1

u/Grigoran Oct 21 '24

My eyes weren't meant for such secrets.

1

u/Mr_Pink_Gold Oct 22 '24

Did not know who onision was. You are spot on.

133

u/Sythix6 Oct 18 '24

It's hilarious you say that because theres a mod that gives him a beard and he ends up looking like system of a down if you combined all members into one

18

u/Acora Oct 19 '24

💀💀💀

58

u/Captain_Eaglefort Oct 19 '24

He’s a 40-something guy who peaked in his 20’s, made a ton of money off scams, lost it all, and now lives with his parents, and is cosplaying a generic Final Fantasy character.

53

u/kangaesugi Oct 18 '24

He looks like the main character of final fantasy 15 after twink death

59

u/R0da Oct 19 '24

I lean more towards ff16's barnabas for him

27

u/justafishservant8 Rogue Oct 19 '24

Holy hells you're right

16

u/Trappedbirdcage Warlock Oct 19 '24

They could be related 

12

u/NinjaWolf935 Oct 19 '24

Literally my first thought when seeing Gortash for the first time was "he looks like an ugly King Barnabas"

1

u/SleepyCyndaquil17 Oct 21 '24

I always thought he looked like an older Noctis if he hadn't gone off to reclaim his throne. Just old, probably (highly likely) drunk, belligerent, and fending off demons in his trailer.

30

u/Soltronus Oct 19 '24

Someone finally put it into words! Gortash is washed up! Early aging from substance abuse, he longs for the glory days when people found him relevant.

170

u/MinerTurtle45 Oct 18 '24

he looks like a handsome younger man with an easy smile

42

u/rock_n_roll_clown Oct 19 '24

Perhaps even a quick, easy smile

11

u/grinningmango Oct 19 '24

I did not realize this bit was referring to him so I didn't connect that vision to anything for the longest time

5

u/mistylouwho2 Oct 20 '24

I had forgotten about that description by the time I met him in my first play through, and so in the second one I heard it and was shocked.

I felt like everyone in Arrested Development responding to Ann: “Her!?”

1

u/sy2ygy Oct 20 '24

Good I’m not the only one, I thought I was too dense to understand it my first playthrough 💀

19

u/Sharp-Level7346 Oct 18 '24

He definitely worked as a doorman for a HIM coverband’s show.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

I think Larian was future-proofing, if they made Gortash look like his VA (Jason Isaacs) Durge wouldn't be the only person interested on siding with him

12

u/Astarte-Maxima Oct 19 '24

Learning it was Jason Isaacs voicing him made me squee, that man is incredible, and has been killing it with voice acting over the last decade, between BG3, AtLA, and Castlevania. Fuckin love that guy. ❤️

3

u/DaddyChil101 Oct 19 '24

Mind. Blown! I'm still recovering from finding out that Ketheric Thorm is voiced by JK Simmons lol.

1

u/BetaWolf81 Oct 20 '24

I know right? I would have cast him as Raphael or Voss. Their VAs did a great job but that is more the type cast for Jason Isaacs 😄

1

u/LacifurAmoeba Oct 23 '24

Oh my gosh, imagine someone only hearing his voice and thinking he is super handsome and then… 😂 So glad BG3 isn’t a blind dating game.

58

u/Evil_Weevill Oct 18 '24

He looks like... if Rob Smith of The Cure had aged slightly less terribly... Slightly....

10

u/Important_Tangelo340 Oct 19 '24

Please don't insult Bob Smith like that, he was and always will be beautiful inside and out

8

u/Fine-Ninja-1813 Oct 19 '24

Exactly! Who else will stop Barbara Streisand?

9

u/Important_Tangelo340 Oct 19 '24

Exactly 🤣

(I'm quite certain Robert Smith would also fight Gortash and defend Baldurs Gate)

5

u/UnicornMeatball Oct 19 '24

Also, after hearing the first couple of tracks from the new album, his voice hasn’t aged at all.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

I had to look him up and I can see it!

21

u/millrro Oct 18 '24

He looks like a worse post time skip noctis

8

u/okievikes Oct 19 '24

This made me realize he looks and acts like Hunter Moore, the revenge porn guy who was big in the 2010’s. Maybe that asshole was tossed aside by Bane

5

u/azaghal1988 Oct 19 '24

He looks like a 45 year old cosplaying a 17 year old final Fantasy character.

8

u/marcoslhc Oct 18 '24

Totally. I always thought he looks like just-out-rehab Trent Reznor. The with teeth era.

24

u/One_Minimum_6869 Oct 18 '24

You saying that plus how he talks about him and Karlach’s “past” actually makes so much sense. I know Karlach says “you talk as if we were lovers” which implies they weren’t but that’s Karlach’s perception. We know Gortash groomed her to eventually sell off to Zariel, so there’s probably dozens of other worst off victims of Gortash’s cruel tyranny (other than the Steel Watch).

5

u/Fit_Read_5632 Oct 19 '24

He looks like the living embodiment of “it’s not a phase mom”

2

u/theknights-whosay-Ni Oct 19 '24

This is the most hilarious but accurate description of him I've heard.

2

u/Malefectra Oct 20 '24

I’ve said he looks like a 40 something divorced guy who pervs on high school goth girls at his nearest Hot Topic

5

u/Jackman1337 Oct 19 '24

He looks exactly how the my chemical romance singer looks in my memory. :D

4

u/AKnottyLibrarian Oct 19 '24

Noooo don’t do Gerard Way dirty like that! I’d say he’s closer to the Green Day singer tbh

1

u/Tydeus2000 Oct 19 '24

And is addicted to alcohol.

1

u/Ladyehonna Oct 19 '24

Thank you for describing what I thought of his looks but wasn't able to put words into

1

u/Forsythia77 Oct 19 '24

To me he looks like he's permanently sniffing a fart or rotten cheese or both. But no, that's just his face.

1

u/Fluidmikey Oct 19 '24

Like Robert Smith 15 years ago

1

u/TruShot5 Oct 19 '24

Yeah he’s definitely a scene kid who never quite grew out of the phase.

1

u/AKnottyLibrarian Oct 19 '24

This 100% - I had described him as looking like a 40+ yr old man trying to dress like a 2006 emo but this description is even more accurate hahaha

1

u/UrsulaKLeGoddaaamn Oct 19 '24

He looks like his top 10 favorite quotes are all lyrics from What's My Age Again

1

u/DrTomT18 Oct 19 '24

That And he looks like one of those guys who spent millions on anti-aging treatments and they KINDA work but it ends up looking weird. Also, hair plugs.

1

u/theExile05 Oct 19 '24

Just missing a soul patch.

1

u/dankleo Oct 19 '24

Unbelievably accurate

1

u/TomaRedwoodVT Oct 19 '24

He looks like if a Kingdom Hearts character was a frequent visitor to Diddy’s parties

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

I wouldn't say the minor part, BUT definitely washed up and too much dr*gs back in the day.

1

u/Stormy5x5 Oct 20 '24

He looks like he teaches a "class" as a pickup artist.

1

u/ShaniceyIreland Oct 21 '24

OMG HE DOES First play through when they said a handsome young man with an easy smile, after seeing Astarion and Gale I was like “oh boy!” Wow was I disappointed

1

u/Shrek_Wisdom Oct 22 '24

Oddly specific

0

u/Luciditi89 Oct 18 '24

This 100% and for me it’s really his charm

25

u/killertortilla Oct 19 '24

What charm? He speaks like a drunk used car salesman trying to get you to buy a cyber truck.

0

u/Ashamed-Bluebird-940 Oct 19 '24

Look up Billy Joe Armstrong, he isn't disgraced but the leader singer Green Day absolutely fits the bill of emo and looks identical

3

u/AgentPastrana Oct 19 '24

Billy doesn't look THAT bad