I donât know if youâre new here, so Iâll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you donât want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, Iâll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I donât think I have to explain why you donât want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and youâll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
I would like to extend my sincerest and most profound apologies for the recent incident in which Iâduring a moment of great emotional upheaval and unbridled mirthâregrettably utilized emojis (specifically, the laughing face varieties) in a public comment on this sacred and hallowed subreddit.
Please understand that this lapse in judgment was not a conscious decision rooted in lucidity or decorum, but rather the result of witnessing Manâyes, Manâspinning in a state of pure, unfiltered jubilation. His centrifugal dance of madness shattered what little semblance of structure remained within my mind. My grip on reality loosened. The walls of my psyche cracked. My sense of decorum, formatting, and emoji discipline crumbled in the face of such profound spiritual whiplash.
The use of emojis was not, as some may fear, the product of âsanityâ or ânormie brain rotâ (a vile affliction we vigilantly resist here). Nay, it was the opposite. It was the act of a mind succumbing fully to the rot of Arkhamâthe sacred rot, the one that makes rats look like friends and turns staircases into profound metaphors. I was not thinking with the logical cortex of a functioning human, but rather with the frenzied id of someone who just watched a man spin in circles and found religion in it.
That said, I now recognize the grievous implications of such emoji deployment. In doing so, I may have momentarily invited the aesthetic and cultural specter of Instagram into our beloved digital asylum. For this, I am ashamed. I assure you allâthis shall not happen again.
Please accept my most humbled and deranged apology. I vow henceforth to communicate only in the appropriately unstable, text-based chaos befitting this subreddit. May my future comments reflect the sacred madness we all strive to maintain.
Sincerely,
A Repentant Fool Who Laughed Too Hard at Man
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u/Splendid_Fellow R.I.P Skedetcher 2d ago
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