I know a guy who has bought expensive jewelry for women on their second date. He had little to no experience with women. He was "disappointed" that the women wouldn't go on a third date with him after he gave them an expensive gift. I tried to convince him that buying a $300+ gift for a second date is creepy at minimum. He just couldn't understand that at all. He's now married with 2 kids. His wife is a low self-esteem person so I think it's a match made in heaven.
For real 😂 but also, now I’m imagining this being the start of a wholesome ass rom-com where every date they keep going back and forth noticing stuff that needs fixing or doing and in the end they propose to each other at the same time lol
A woman trying to one up a man by preemptively sacrificing resources to facilitate his needs, culminating in her proposing to him? That is comedy. NETFLIX! Get in here, we got one!
She never even thought about shit. How long had she been riding around squealing and shit? My daughter won't be out here like that she will be on point and she knows it. Homegirl sounds goofy as hell.
I never said anything to the otherwise. I would just bring up my daughters to appreciate the gestures but to decline immediate extravagant gifts. As I originally said, I hope this woman appreciates it since she accepted the gift.
This. There is something to be said about recognizing when someone is doing TOO much TOO soon. I make a significant salary but I would hope that most women would not allow me to fly them out to stay at my place within 2 days of communicating with me just because I can afford to do so. Obviously the danger level is much higher in the scenario I gave vs the Twitter screenshot, but it still puts the woman in a position of “owing” the guy very early on.
The same goes for extravagant trips or other gifts when you do not know the person. It is a place of leverage and a way to impress upon someone that you can be a gateway to a “better” life. To each their own though, this is just how I will be raising my daughter.
I don’t know I kinda get it. Dude dropped 800-1800 dollars on a first date. Unless he is rich and can causally throw around that that’s pretty crazy and even then some men have an expectation associated with spending money. Personally if I was on a first date with a guy and he spent more than 100 dollars I’d be a little freaked out.
Bro bought a whole extra set of tires and just left them at the shop to show her how little this money means to him. The whole time swiping on tinder in her face to kill off any notion of love bombing.
Happened to me. He did in fact own the car shop (and 2 more). Even let me drive his second car while mine was being fixed. I mentioned, on our first date, that I had to go get my brakes fixed the next day. And, he put all that into motion. I was hesitating to accept but I did. He ghosted me about 3 weeks later (later told me his ex had come back and they were trying to make it work). Wasn’t looking for anything, and didn’t get anything, in exchange.
Informing someone their brakes need checked and suggesting a reputable shop is proper trustworthy behavior from someone who DOESN’T KNOW YOU LIKE THAT. Paying for it is WILD and at least orange-RED flag behavior.
Definitely suspicious in the power imbalance factor.
Exactly. This will be his go-to the first time they get into an argument. Or when he wants her to do something way out of her comfort zone. She owes him.
So how many dates in must you be before you treat them like the bad shit in their life matters to you? 3? 5? If our 5th date is tomorrow, but she needs help today, do I just say, "oh, well; we still on for tomorrow? I'll care then"..?
I'm 41, seeing a 41yo single mom. Problems define our lives, or we likely wouldn't be single, yeah? She hasn't caught feelings for me yet like I have for her, but her son has nothing but a deadbeat abuser and a ghost for male role models in his life outside of me right now. Should I just blow that off because her and I are still in the "feeling it out" stage? She and her son deserve to be treated with care and kindness today, now, when they don't have it, not when I feel she has suitably given me enough to earn it.
There's suspicion borne from trauma and then there is suspicion born from having even a spec of incredulity. If someone you don't know at all is willing to drop a mint on you, they want something from you and/or make consistently poor decisions.
So tell her they need to be done LOL, choosing to take her to the shop and paying for them yourself is beyond concern for their well being unless the car was falling apart at the time.
Anyone dropping that much money on a first date, for something that isn't even a date activity, is flexing their money. Flexing your money in general is a dating red flag
Living in a fantasy. If I pretend people are just nice enough to give me thousands of dollars with no expectation of anything in return I can act surprised and offended when they want something in return.
I could offer to CHANGE someone's brakes and rotors early, but I wouldn't PAY for them to be changed. The labor isn't that hard or time consuming but the expense for someone you're not in a committed relationship with? Honestly too high LOL
Same. Also, I would be more likely to help someone with their brakes than something else on their car. Brakes are important and might save someone's life.
I don't disagree but this is a very genuine act and depending on the car it can be $200-$300 worth of work. Rather a dude spend the money to be genuine than on $30 shots of tequila to get her liquored up
Facts 💯. My abusive ex husband did something similar to me when we first started dating. After we married and I was a stay at home mom, he financially abused me. The financial abuse continued even after the divorce.
Honestly, it sounds like something my fiancé’s dad would do. We’ve been living together for years but he still comes to pick up her car, change the oil, get new tires, etc. I used to think he didn’t think I was capable pr something, and I’d be like “you don’t need to do that, we will take care of it” but I realized eventually that it’s his way to show his love and he wants to make sure his only daughter has a safe and reliable car to drive.
Yes it’s a show of affection when you actually know the person and want them to have a better life. If you’re just meeting that same week, I feel like being suspicious of the gesture is very reasonable
Idk, my husband did something similar when we started dating. I was very skeptical, but it turns out he’s just a super generous person. He paid his moms house off this year (I was not happy, her ass got money and we’re trying to buy rn) and gave my mom money for my brothers funeral. He’s not wealthy but works hard as hell. Some people really are just that type of person.
Tricks have existed since the prehistoric times. This is nothing new... there's always dudes out there trying to cheat the game. The internet and social media has just made it worse.
She's laughing at his reaction to squealing brakes. She's using a heart hand and a soppy face emoji to express her feelings about his gift. He probably doesn't want to die in a car crash.
There's also an assumption that brake jobs are incredibly difficult. Not always. Just time consuming.
Wouldn't and can't do it in snow or rain. But I have done it in my yard, on my back in hot desert sand, removing the calipers, hammering off the old rotors and putting new ones back on, and sliding disc pads back in, followed by bleeding the system.
He's doing everyone else a solid. If they were that bad, they weren't just noisy then were probably ineffective. Any mechanic (whether it's their profession or hobby) knows the sound of calipers on rotors, no inspection required.
He was saving lives. If he gets laid as well, awesome.
Just to do my front two resurfaced and get the brake pads replaced cost over a grand. Dude's dropping two racks easily. Honestly it would sketch me out a little if somebody just dropped that.
I hope she's doesn't just dip after he offered to literally keep her safe. Cuz if those brakes fail, she could die if that man cares about you enough to do that on day one, at least consider what your future could look like
I couldn't imagine doing all that for a girl I just met, just to be referred as "This nigga" on social media. I hope that brother got good money, and won't take a loss when this doesn't work out.
I had a first date with a lady whose car wouldn't start. We were driving separately since it was a first date. I went to her place, jumped the battery and then told her to drive to Autozone so we could at least get the car diagnosed. Technician said battery was about gone. So she bought a new one and then our date started.
Me personally coffee and walk in the park dates but seeing as this concerns the health and safety of someone I’m not gonna clown him. Still, better man than me. I’m not doing that shit first day. If we get along enough I’ll do it. Shiiiiit she ain’t die before we met if she dies while I’m warming up to her that’s just bad luck.
So anyways I started trying to meal prep this week. How do you guys make breakfast burritos that don't tear? I feel like I'm not putting too much in there.
I’m conflicted here - I have a lot of automotive experience so it’s nothing to knock out a brake job or some other general automotive repair for my people to keep them from getting hosed at the dealer/local repair shop. ON THE CONTRARY - ain’t no mf way I’m doing this for someone I just met. This is “you is my lady and has been my lady” behavior. Rotors are $75x4, pads are $65x2, labor being $50/wheel and it all adds up to YGMFU 😅.
Sidebar, why is nobody asking why her brakes that mf bad in the first place?
May get some hate for this, but I actually do/did this for my ex wife/son’s mother since we split many many years ago. I do it myself though, once I saw what shops charge for the work that I can do in about an hour or two, I realize the ripoff. I’d offer that to this dude.. clearly he’s willing to make the effort, there’s a better way and it makes for good conversation while doing the work.
Even if it was for a woman he didn’t know it's less suspicious and weird. Especially if she's paying for the parts and doing something kind for him after. If that happened to me I would impressed. I haven't met many men who can change the oil on a car much less the brakes.
I’m confused how is this love bombing? but I hope he doesn’t throw it in her face and use it against her to get what he wants and be emotionally abusive
TWO DAYS AGO????..... And he already spending dough for repairs??? 👀👀👀 As a woman... I'd be kinda concerned about his mental... Y'all ain't even together! Hopefully, it's worth it! 😐
She could've referred to him as "man, guy" or even "simp" but it's "this ngga" more than likely because she was laughing about finding some good guy to come and literally take care of her, smdh. Stop this behavior fellas
Wayyyyyy back when I was a stupid 20 year old, this guy (who I assumed was a friend) just offered to buy 4 used tires for my car, and I stupidly accepted the offer thinking he was genuinely looking out for me. He saw the condition of my tires, but I didn't ask him to buy me anything, just so that's clear.
Long story less long, he was a manipulater and gaslighter (didn't know at the time), and I was subconsciously indebted to him, so that lead to him making me drive him all ALL OVER THE CITY AND SUBURBS, constantly driving him to one of his baby moms house all the time, random places in between, etc. This happened over the course of about 3 months until my car clapped out, and suddenly I wasn't useful to him...it's a fucked up feeling.
He did the math, and knew that the $300 he payed for my used tires was pennies compared to the THOUSANDS that he would of payed to a taxi (no ride share services existed at the time). I was his personal chauffeur for 3 months for 300 funky ass dollars plus the rare $10 he would give me for gas...smfhX10!!! 😡😡😡🤬🤬
The moral of the story is the VAST MAJORITY of people offering or giving you something, will absolutely expect something in return, most likely MORE in value than what they gave you.
Life is wild how a man paying for brake pads somehow automatically equals him getting sex. The man got the means to help her out. Those brakes may mean she got extra money to spend on a bill. He may be playing the long game of seeing how she spends money and if he gets broken off that night
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u/AuntJemimaPancakes 1d ago
Way too extra to do on a first date 😂