We got married last year. The first months were really fantastic, even though we were forced by my parents to cohabitate and you know that it can generate friction, but we were extremely happy.
We have or at least I still have all these plans to move away from this shitplace we live in (shit city, small flat), have children, and spend the rest of our lives together.
Last month my boss told me I can't move to another city and my wife told me that she needed to leave because she was getting depressed in this place, only wanted to sleep, won't have kids in this shitplace, and then comes the next part:
The day of our marriage, the priest forced us to confess, because he said otherwise he will not do the mass. He took her and cajoled her into confession in a room and gave her absolution before she even had a chance to finish confessing the sins, only so he could give us communion.
Now she thinks that the marriage has been cursed because she communed before saying her sins properly and therefore she communed in sin. Now our marriage is doomed from the start and can't be saved. She's also been saying she doesn't understand "why we follow a 2000 year old book that is not aligned with modern age", all the priests are bastards, the commandments are stupid...
She has a maladaptive tendency to blame everyone but herself. She told me she needed time to be alone, I gave it to her. Some weeks later, she tells me she wants to end the marriage because what kind of a shit husband does not take care of his wife (I have nothing but doting on her, I have constantly put her needs above me, given her love, hugs, kisses, I have put her above family and friends every time, taken care of her when she was ill)
I'm not the most organized guy, and that's my fault and I'm changing for her.
I'm a forgetful guy sometimes, but I'm changing as well. I can postpone things I don't like to do and I'm trying to change.
But it's never enough, which is aggravated by the fact that she will do exactly the things she complains I do. She's always been loving to me except when she starts blaming and can't stand to be told what she does wrong.
She has a history of screwing up and I clean after her, which she takes for granted. I have never ever told her off on this because I believe as a husband I should lay down my life for my wife without complaints and without comments. Maybe I'm stupid and I should have, who knows.
Lately she just wants to get separated, but is not willing to do any paperwork or actually leave our house, which leaves me the slightest sliver of hope.
Or maybe that's because her relationship with her parents is shit and she wouldn't go back to them. She's also a stay at home wife, I provide for us both, which is what she wanted.
She categorically opposes going to confession again because the priests are evil and bastards. She doesn't want to go to counseling, or a shrink. She also has endometriosis, which made it so hard to engage in relations, the marriage is not consummated technically. She refuses to see a gyno.
Hey, I've messed up as well. I'm the worst sinner. I go to confession frequently for the same sins. She's been telling me to load weight of 1 year and I can't do it no matter how hard I try. Doesn't help that she makes dinner for 2, eats 10% of hers, and tells me to eat that or she throws it away.
But that's my fault anyway.
I just don't understand, man. She tells me to leave her alone to do what she wants. I leave her. She says I'm a shit husband for leaving her alone. I don't get it. God please help me I don't want our marriage to end, and I suspect it's just another of her shit decisions that will go wrong for her like every other time. But it's us, man. We're made for each other like no one else, and we have a life ahead of us.
Can't believe I'm writing this, I would never. But that's just how bad things are and I hope and pray for a miracle.