Draft 1

A gun to my side on the bus. A break-in at my home, just me and my little brother inside. I still ask myself why those two men didn’t just pull the trigger if all they wanted was to leave me with memories that will traumatize me forever. Why leave me with the fear that follows me on my way home every day? Why make me feel unsafe in the one place that’s supposed to be my haven, my home?

 They got to live their lives. And I was just a kid wondering if I’d live to see tomorrow. Wondering if my little brother would be okay. Wondering why me?

Maybe it was because I already lived with severe fear, anxiety, no confidence, this aching belief that I had no talent, no real purpose. Or maybe it was because this wasn’t the first time I had a gun pointed at me, not by strangers  but by my mother.

Ever since I graduated 8th grade, she’s said it repeatedly: “You’re going to be the first of us to make it. You’ll go to college. Do this for your brothers. For me.” I didn’t understand the weight of those words until I was in high school, drowning in expectations. First-gen. College-bound. The one to break the cycle. I wasn’t just carrying books. I was carrying my whole family’s hope and it was heavy.

How could I be the one when all I saw in the mirror was someone who wasn’t enough? No confidence. No talent. Just constant self-doubt having the gun to my head whispering, “You’ll never make it.”

Then I found debate.

At first, I thought it’d be another thing I’d fail at. I started later than most. I only had two years to learn what others had been doing for years. I felt small. Unintelligent. But something was different this time.

I didn’t let go. Even when I wanted to, even when anxiety gripped me so tight I could barely breathe before rounds. I stayed. I pushed. My coaches and teammates believed in me when I couldn’t. Slowly, I started to believe in myself too. I went from feeling like an outsider to making out rounds, placing in the top 16, and eventually becoming state champion. In my second year, I became captain.

For once, I felt powerful. Like I’d taken that gun I’d been holding to my head and reloaded it — not with fear, but with passion, ambition, confidence. I pulled the trigger, and instead of destroying me, it awakened something new.

But even then, the pressure didn’t stop. My mom still held her gun to my head, threatening to take debate away if I didn’t do better in school. Pushing me, pressuring me, telling me I had to succeed because she never got the chance.

Eventually, I stopped letting her fear shape my future. I didn't wanna be shackled to school books, tests, and Lectures. I wanted to live and make the most of highschool, and debate was my way of doing that

I started living for myself. I picked up a new Gun. not of violence but of power: my voice. Debate gave me that. It gave me a future I couldn’t see before, a self I never thought I could become.

Maybe I’m just another statistic to you. Just another kid with a rough story.

But to me? I’ve changed everything. I may not have the perfect SAT score or GPA, but  I’ve lived the hell out of high school. In my last few years. Traveling the world. Making friends from different states. Spending the summer on college campuses for debate camp, and making my coaches, teammates and even myself proud. I took my miserable life, and I’ve built something new out of pain. And now, I’m ready to take this version of me to Texas A&M.

Draft 2

 Gun to my side on the bus. Break-in at my home, I still wonder why those men didn’t just pull the trigger if they were going to leave me scarred, afraid to ride the bus. Afraid to sleep in my house, why not just finish the job?

That’s the thing about guns. Sometimes they don’t go off but still strike something into you.

Ever since then, I’ve been trying to live with the sound of a silent shot. I ask myself, why me? Why was I the one left behind to carry this fear? Why did they get to walk away, while I was left stuck in that moment, body shaking, heart racing, wondering: Am I going to die? Why me?

Maybe because that wasn’t the first time I was held at gunpoint.

I’ve felt the cold press of the barrel before. Not made of metal, but pressure. Not from strangers, but from home. From the moment I graduated 8th grade, my mom loaded the chamber with expectations: “You’re going to be the first to make it out. You’re going to college. For your brothers. For me.”

I didn’t know that those words came with their own kind of trigger.

I didn’t understand that “making it” meant carrying the weight of being a first-gen student,. That I was supposed to aim higher than anyone before me but how? when I didn’t even believe in myself. I walked through HighSchool with a gun to my head every day, not from anyone else, but from within: You’re not good enough. You don’t matter. You’ll never make it. Click. Click. Click.

Every day, the pressure built inside and out. At home, at school, in my mind. It felt like I was constantly dodging bullets I couldn’t even see. Expectations. Doubts. Fears. I kept my head down, hoping to survive another day.

And then one day, I stumbled into the debate room.

I didn’t walk in thinking it would save me. Honestly, I thought it’d be another place where I wouldn’t measure up, where I’d hear more voices, and shrink back like always. I thought it was just another bullet, another chance to fail. I started late. I was lost. Everyone seemed smarter and faster. But debate didn’t give me a way to hide. It handed me a mic and dared me to speak.

 Something about standing up, speaking out, and thinking hard and fast made it feel like grabbing the gun back, like maybe, for once, I could choose where to aim it.

I reloaded the clip not with fear, but with purpose. I pulled the trigger. And this time, the shot didn’t wound me, it woke me up.

I got Better with every round, loss, and shaky speech. My coaches and teammates saw something in me I didn’t, and eventually, I saw it, too. I made it to the out-rounds of almost every tournament, the top 16,  state champion, and then captain.

For the first time, the gun wasn’t something I was running from, it was something I’d learned to carry. Not as a weapon to destroy myself, but a symbol of my power. My voice. My control.

But at home My mom still raised that same pressure cocked and loaded. “Do better or I’ll take debate away.”  “Do better than I ever could”. The barrel was still against my head.

But something had changed.

I didn’t flinch this time. I stopped letting her fear pull the trigger on my future. I stopped being a target. I started being the one aiming not to hurt, but to build. To choose.

Now I’m the one holding it. And I’ve learned where to aim it. Not at my head but. Toward something better. Toward (Texas A&M), where I can keep building this version of myself: not a victim, not a statistic — but a survivor who finally took the safety off his potential.

Hello, I don’t know if this is the right place But I’m a current junior and I just had a talk where my counselor told all of us that we NEED to do all the college writing before September of our senior year so that we can sen apps by the due date. And apparently these are the essay topics(according to my counselor, she said every college does the same topics, we just have to chose one?)

1. Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
4. Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

If I may ask, does anyone know what my counselor saying is true? Are there ONLY these topics for essays, and I ONLY have to choose ONE from these five? I mean after I asked that what she told me so I wasn’t sure tho so I wanted to see what everyone else experienced

Hello! I am new to reddit, so apologies for any weird format issues lol. I just need someone to maybe skim over my essay and tell me if it's stupid or not. I also did not use any of the common app prompts.

I'm a high school junior but I'm thinking about writing my common app essay about performing at Lollapalooza this year (at 17!) and being in one of the best youth orchestras in the nation after being told I would never be able to be successful in music/get into a good orchestra. I want to show how despite discouragement, I persisted and became successful in spite of it. I'm not exactly sure which prompt that would respond to tho. Also lmk if yall think that would actually be a bad idea for my common app essay.

i just wrote mine and i don’t want it to be corny, overdone, or give that it’s trying too hard :(

I am a high school student very new to the application process. Just wondering if anyone can help review my essay, very confused idk what to do, just made a draft and really need some feedback

I have a template

Yk hypothetically speaking

hi all! junior here. i had to write a common app essay for my english final last december, but i came up with a different idea recently and have begun to flesh it out as an actual essay. i'll end up keeping copies of both and not making a final decision until common app actually opens, but i want to see, based on topic alone, which of my essays seems more interesting. both of them are kind of complex tbh, so bear with me.

for context: i'm a photographer and artist. i intend to major in poli sci or sociology.

essay 1: about how i started a fast food job to earn money specifically for photography equipment but ended up seeing said job as a means of capturing bits and pieces of the human world, much like how i capture bits and pieces of the material world with my camera. i went into how "histories and biographies became my new snapdragons and textiles" (subject matter i mentioned in an anecdote about me being interested in photography as a young child) and used a bit of photography jargon (notably related to exposure) to describe customer service. i think it's a little bit dumb, but my english teacher loved it so much that he gave me a perfect score on it and mentioned that he plans to use it as an example for the next few classes 💀 it's slightly over the common app word count, so i'll have to rewrite/revise it regardless.

essay 2: about how my interests in sociology, art, and photography led me to stop struggling to taxonomize every aspect of my personality and identity in an endless struggle for a sense of self-understanding and accept myself as who i am. i went into how i began to believe that "victim of sociologist howard becker's labeling theory" was the only label that accurately defined me after attending a sociology lecture on labeling theory (which states that one's sense of one's own identity is derived from the labels by which others refer to them): identity is inherently fluid, multifaceted, and complex, so why should i trust others' assessments of me? i opened with an anecdote about my family disagreeing over the color of a VW beetle during a game of punch buggy and ended with how applications of color theory in art and photography prove that a color should be considered in a wider context than what people label it as. for context, i don't label my sexuality or care how people refer to me: in my heart, i am u/magicmetalpipe. this one's a little shorter than the other (somehow), but my english teacher doesn't even know this essay exists. i intend to have him help me revise it, though.

I used to think writing essays was all about intelligence, some people were just better at it. But after struggling through enough assignments, I realized it’s not about being smart—it’s about having a clear structure before you even start.

Once I figured that out (and got some guidance from EssayShark on how to organize my ideas better), writing stopped feeling like an endless battle.

What do you think—does writing get easier with practice, or is it always a struggle?

Hi I am applying into UIUC as a transfer was wondering if someone can look into my essay and critique it plz dm me thanks.

im a junior in hs working on starting my commonapp essay. i have a pretty good idea of what i plan on doing and ive gotten the first few sentences down but for the past week all i can do is just stare at it. i think ive been so worried about making it perfect that now im too afraid to write anything at all. please help! how do i even begin to structure it? what can i do to force me out of this writer's block?

I am a hs junior and just wrote my first draft for my common app personal statement and was wondering if anyone could give any feedback? Thanks!

TW: Teen Suicide

Yesterday, one of my students lost a close friend suddenly. The student was a senior. While the cause of death has not been officially confirmed, the community is treating it as a possible suicide.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this happened on a day filled with big college news—a time of high highs for a select few and low lows for many others. As counselors, teachers, advisors, family members, and friends, we often see the excitement on the surface. But it’s important to remember how much can be hidden behind strong transcripts, sculpted activity lists, and carefully curated application stories.

For students reading this, please remember that no decision—college or otherwise—defines your worth. You are more than what any application portal tells you. If you are feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone, and you’re not a burden for speaking up. There are people who care about you and want you to succeed and live happy lives.

And for adults—especially those of us who work closely with teens and for some, our own kids—this is a painful reminder to slow down, check-in, and be present. Most of us might not be therapists, but we are trusted adults. We have the power to model rest, to hold space for hard conversations, and to remind families that emotional well-being matters just as much as academic success. Sometimes we’re the only ones in a student’s life who say, “It’s okay to take a break,” or “You don’t need to have it all figured out.”

So please: stay vigilant. Say something if you see something. Check-in even when things seem fine. That little extra effort might mean more than we know.

My heart goes out to the family and community grieving this loss. I hope they find peace, as we carry forward with care and compassion.

Hey yall, I'm a 4-year transfer who's planning to major in CS back in my hometown (personal circumstances have influenced my decision to move back to my hometown and potentially major in CS back in a diff uni instead), l've written a draft for my supplemental application for the major that will be due next week.

Because I don't have a close relationship with people who can help peer revise my responses (complicated relationship with parents, so can’t really confide with them…), does anybody know any free resources I use to get feedback on my personal statement responses?

If anybody is able to take a look at it as well, please let me know. Thank you.

FYI, it's UW (I know, very difficult and l'm at risk of getting rejected, but I might as well try).

I written a college essay for Columbia and didn't get in. I would love feedback on the essay I need professional feedback.

I am bad at editing my own stuff and could also use someone else’s advice over things I should change in my essay. My topic is volunteering and I’m unsure if this is even good at all.

Hello all, I’m a junior (about to become a senior of course,) and I’ve been considering what I would like to write my common app essay about. For me, soccer is probably the biggest part of my life and there’s a specific team (I won’t name to not upset any rivals ofc ofc) and they mean a lot to me. With that being said, I’m wondering if writing my common app about soccer and what being loyal to thay team through it’s very rough times, and very high highs has taught me and what I’ve gained from it would be a good topic for my essay. Thank you in advance!

I'm a high school junior trying to find a good idea for an essay - I've always been fat, and my mom wants me to write my essay about living as a bigger girl in a pretty non-diverse town (in terms of body type and race - I'm half Indian). A good friend of mine had pretty severe issues with her body, and I feel wrong writing about her in my essay. I think if she wants to tell her story, it should be her who does it. I've also been dancing and teaching dance for 4 years now- and that's a huge part of my life. I paint, too- and I've been to Ireland with my art program to paint - but would talking about my passion for the arts be too basic? Plz help!

helloo, I am a junior currently starting the essay process. the ideas i have are all over the place but my top one is to write my essay on 11:11 and the impact its left on my life. does this seem like a good idea?

Hey everyone, I’ve worked with dozens of students applying to UCs, Ivies, and top-tier schools, and I’ve noticed one thing: most essays sound the same. Admissions officers read thousands of generic “overcoming adversity” stories—but the essays that win are the ones that feel real, personal, and reflective.

If you’re stuck, here are a few quick tips: • Skip the fluff. Get to your story fast. Don’t try to sound “Ivy League”—try to sound like you. • Show growth. What changed because of your experience? What did you learn about yourself? • Don’t over-edit. Sometimes the first raw version is the most authentic.

If anyone here wants honest feedback or needs help shaping your draft, feel free to DM me. Whether you’re applying to a UC or a private college, having a strong personal statement can be a game-changer—and it doesn’t have to be stressful.

Wishing you all good luck this season!

Hey Guys,

I’ve had the privilege of assisting several clients across various platforms, some of whom have gone on to attend prestigious Ivy League institutions, as well as community and international colleges. Today, I’m eager to extend my services and expertise to five additional clients. Please be aware that I won’t be providing my typical editing services (line-by-line or structural), but rather, I’ll offer detailed critiques of your essays, along with tailored feedback on how to elevate your work. I’ll be working on a first-come, first-served basis, so let’s get started without delay. You’re welcome to share your essay directly on this platform and tag me, or reach out to me privately. I look forward to helping you refine your writing!

hello guys, intl applicant here, i would like to ask yall for a little favor. i got rejected from 35 schools already, so i've been wondering whats wrong. is it bc my essay is in an unusual form? i got leadership positions in not-so-cliche ecs, got a few contest medals, my school doesn't calculate gpa but it's 9.0/10 over 3 years, sat 1470. my budget is 15k/year. really in desperate need of a (retired/ex/whatever) professional/anyone who knows a pro to review my essay and application in general.

school list: muhlenberg, drexel (accepted) st olaf, denison, gettysburg, trinity, reed (waitlisted). the rest are rejected: washington&lee, franklin&marshall, whitman, macalester, kenyon, oberlin, dickinson, grinnell, lafayette, lehigh, brandeis, bucknell, mount holyoke, cwru, union, skidmore, colby, colgate, the entire top 10 LACs on us news ranking rn. this honestly surprised me bc certain schools' acceptance rates are like above 30%, so i didnt think id fail those schools. someone help me out pls?

what do you guys use for college essays - any recs?

I'm currently writing an essay for a scholarship. One of the requirements for it is to put "Your name and where you plan on attending" I know I should place it in the intro but should I place it in the very beginning or somewhere around the middle? Never been an essay person so this is a hard process for me