r/Detroit 2d ago

Sports All the things I hate about Detroit Tigers' Opening Day, 2025 edition | Opinion

https://www.freep.com/story/opinion/columnists/nancy-kaffer/2025/04/04/detroit-tigers-opening-day-litter-traffic-fans/82545046007/

Should be titled: My name is Nancy Kaffer. WHAT IS MY DEAL?

6 Upvotes

86 comments sorted by

51

u/dennisoa 2d ago

Don’t care much for the sport of Baseball. So therefore I’ve never bothered attending Opening Day. I do appreciate all the people that essentially make it a holiday because my workday is much slower.

So, have at it!

-10

u/CrusTyJeanZz 2d ago

And the sport of baseball doesn’t care for you.

7

u/dennisoa 2d ago

I can live with that.

31

u/no-snoots-unbooped 2d ago

While I enjoy opening day, she has some points, particularly about litter. I don’t love that people don’t pick up after themselves and trash the city.

12

u/uprightsalmon 2d ago

Detroit in general is terrible about littering. I live on the east side and people throw trash out their window like it’s just a normal thing to do

2

u/Philosophy_Dad_313 2d ago

Just because it is “normal” doesn’t make it right. We can still be wanting people to change this behavior.

0

u/uprightsalmon 1d ago

I wish

1

u/Philosophy_Dad_313 1d ago

Stop wishing and start picking up trash and nicely reminding people to pick theirs up as well. Report illegal dumping with the Detroit app thing (name escaping me).

:)

11

u/cruisin894 2d ago

As someone who has braved heading into the office on opening day, I share some of the writer's sentiment.

I once left early to find a man walking through the Jefferson tunnel on the shoulder. Crazy dangerous. My hunch is that he was so intoxicated that he chose not to drive (or forgot where he parked) and just decided to walk home. The freeway being the only route he knew.

I wouldn't say I hate it, but I definitely don't go downtown on opening day if I can avoid it. The same could be said about most major events downtown during working hours.

Great for the city, everyone have fun. But I'll be working from home today.

62

u/AllThingsNoice 2d ago

Nancy sounds like a killjoy

10

u/casullivan0704 2d ago

I want to party with her…… not

11

u/michiganbikes Michigan 2d ago

I hate basically everything she writes. Total Karen.

2

u/TorkBombs 2d ago

Ha I used to work with her 20 years ago. I liked her then. She was fun.

8

u/heftybalzac 2d ago

Is this the same lady who wrote the "we need to forget Boblo and bury our MoTown records" diatribe? If so I cancelled my Free Press subscription after that and specifically told them she was the reason.

44

u/chipper124 2d ago

Shut up Nancy

4

u/uprightsalmon 2d ago

Yeah, seriously Nancy, shut up

54

u/tweenalibi 2d ago edited 2d ago

Incredible they let this piece be published. If I was trying to mock a theoretical Detroit hipster purist I don’t think I could ever top this.

I straight up 100% do not believe this person’s car has been humped in some sort of pattern like this article implies.

“I like Detroit better when there’s nothing going on and I’m not subjected to the behavior of other people”

So many white people like Nancy want Detroit to be their little secret hidden gem so bad that they spazz out when “normies” do things here. Shit is pathetic.

1

u/malodyets1 2d ago

The humping comments were suspicious to say the least

1

u/sack-o-matic 2d ago

Pretty easy to take the bus for $2 and leave your car at home

-18

u/Aggravating-Bit9325 2d ago

Keep Detroit black

0

u/dirtewokntheboys Detroit 2d ago

Interesting...

7

u/redwingjv 2d ago

This lady seems like she hates anything fun, what a downer

6

u/allbsallthetime 2d ago

I've been to opening day quite a bit, I enjoy the good clean fun everyone is having rain or snow or gorgeous spring day.

I do agree about public funding. That should never happen but if it does I've always believed that every game should have a select number of tickets so neighborhood kids, who could never afford an opening day or even a weekday game, could walk to the stadium and see a game.

And, MLB can bite me, with the exception of today's game, and very few others, I can't watch any of the games live.

An MLB subscription, that claims I can watch all my favorite team's games is a great big liar liar pants on fire situation.

Tigers games are blacked out if you're in market which is my living room.

Regular folks can't even watch baseball on TV anymore.

Rant over, enjoy the game, and go Tigers.

2

u/StifffDick 2d ago

You must obviously not have the FanDuel Sports Network which allows you to watch all Tigers, Pistons and Wings games at $19.99/mo

4

u/allbsallthetime 2d ago

I've looked into it but another 20 bucks is silly and I still have a bad taste in my mouth for falling for MLB tv.

I'm also only interested in baseball so I would cancel at the end of the season.

There's also their whole couch rights thingy.

We spend weekends camping around the state it's unclear if I'd be able to watch the games when out of my home territory.

Something about 30 days.

Then there's the whole streaming, screencast, app data usage thingy when on the road.

And having to open a separate app without being able to flip back and forth.

More research and a 7 day trial once the season gets going.

The point remains, MLB has overcomplicated watching local baseball. I remember the good old days of just aiming the antenna and turning on Channel 4.

6

u/Poz16 Midtown 2d ago

Is this the same person that wants to take over Joel's piano?

19

u/giddycat50 2d ago edited 2d ago

I didn't used mind her until she shit all over my home town, she just a miserable person.

Also with everything being so shitty now days, its a nice escape. Why did the freep even run this opinion piece. SMH.

1

u/WorldWalker5587 Grosse Pointe 2d ago

which town?

14

u/giddycat50 2d ago

Check out this story from Detroit Free Press: Lansing is a sad little town – and shouldn’t be Michigan’s capital

https://www.freep.com/story/opinion/contributors/2023/12/11/detroit-michigan-capital-lansing/71838495007/

8

u/WorldWalker5587 Grosse Pointe 2d ago

Oooof yeah. The Opening Day one at least was a contrarian post that could curb some people's kind of bad behavior and let them know some residents think it is meh. That one is just mean spirited and very city snobby.
I did like that she at least added this at the end to point at her own pettiness:
"For what it's worth, I ran this idea past Whitmer at last spring’s Mackinac Policy Conference. She looked at me like I was crazy, quickly shot me down, and wisely declined to further engage with the question."
Thanks for sharing.

5

u/SpartansBear 2d ago

Oh god, it's the same author? Double fruck her then. I'm sad I even gave her clicks on those articles. Find another profession.

0

u/BasicArcher8 2d ago

Honestly, she's not wrong here.

30

u/StygianPlatypus 2d ago

There is a lot of valid points in here though. As someone who has attended Opening Day festivities almost 10 times, far too many people treat it as an opportunity to be completely feral with no regard at all for others. I usually bring trash bags and walk around picking up after tailgaters who leave behind piles of garbage because they simply can’t be bothered to clean up after themselves. It’s maddening. Of course it can be a very fun time as well but I can only pick up or ignore so much of other people’s trash before I just can’t stomach the whole thing anymore.

16

u/tweenalibi 2d ago

Literally anytime there’s a big event downtown there’s obnoxious people around and trash. Playoff games, Movement, NFL drafts etc

12

u/Grouchy_Enthusiasm92 2d ago

Any big event, anywhere. Complaining that small businesses will suffer because they are not a bar or involved in "Opening Day" is comical. Also the author doesn't understand the concept of home games.

4

u/cruisin894 2d ago

"Feral." Great adjective.

10

u/poutinepredicament 2d ago

I hope Nancy has a terrible opening day. GO TIGERS 🐅

5

u/MustangGT3Fan 2d ago

Fair weather lions fan says it all

14

u/canyongolf 2d ago

Wow Karen, i mean Nancy, sounds insufferable

11

u/malodyets1 2d ago

No one cares Nancy

24

u/EMU_Emus 2d ago

Who gave this the green light to publish? Another reminder of how sad it is to see the fall of the American newspaper. The free press has never been pulitzer quality or anything but this slop is a new low.

18

u/youngbloodoldsoul 2d ago

They have 10 Pulitzers lol

15

u/EMU_Emus 2d ago

Well fuck me then lol

2

u/DrapersSmellyGlove 2d ago

I was just thinking the same thing. 😂 They used to be an amazing publisher of really good newsworthy articles. World renowned in fact.

0

u/silk_mitts_top_titts 2d ago

Pssh they can pull my titzers

3

u/JakeTheGreat-8 Michigan 2d ago

One of the best days all year, bummer I can’t make it this year

3

u/Environmental_Staff7 2d ago

Look for the Obama Fathead...that's me I'm gonna be there.

5

u/Electrical-Ad-7852 2d ago

I say this as someone who has been a downtown resident for many years and has seen many Opening Days and other large crowd events. I think the litter problem is super overblown. I never feel like the city is trashed after these events. And I don't think suburbanites and out of towners are being disrespectful to our city at all during these events.

And I also think it's important to note that almost no one is littering on purpose. I think just an inevitable consequence of hosting a large scale event that some trash/debris gets away.

As an aside, downtown is a cultural hub for our region and our state, and it belongs to everyone, no matter where they’re from, who wants to enjoy it.

1

u/Rrrrandle 2d ago

Detroit's litter problem is far worse outside of downtown. Downtown has trash cans every few feet on nearly every block and people that pick it up regularly. But large events can still cause the trash cans to overflow.

Outside of downtown only the business districts have trash cans that the city regularly picks up. The neighborhoods and freeways are a free for all of litter though.

5

u/booyahbooyah9271 2d ago

"I hate the guy — and there is one every year — who stops while ambling drunkenly across the street to air hump in the general direction of my car. Sir, what are you about? Has this gambit worked for you in the past? Would you please stop doing it?"

Make no mistake about it. If you proceed to see this woman in public, air hump in her general direction.

These are your marching orders. 

2

u/Organic_Spend9995 2d ago

Had anyone else here ever had their cars air-humped? Cuz I sure haven’t but am now feeling a little left out lol

1

u/Jimemac 2d ago

I think it depends on if you are a female or male in the driver's seat. Drunk dudes likely don't airhump towards other dudes.

7

u/daveygoboom 2d ago

Counterpoint: It's an opinion piece to discuss the agreements and disagreements of the article, which is sorely lacking in all the echo chambers of society.

Then again, most people read the headline and immediately get pissed.

The one I will agree with is the parking lots and public subsidies.

16

u/EMU_Emus 2d ago

I'm less annoyed about the opinion itself, its the meandering, unstructured list of grievances written in a style I'd expect from a 16-year-old who just discovered they can have contrarian opinions.

6

u/daveygoboom 2d ago

That i can understand.

1

u/Rrrrandle 2d ago

meandering, unstructured list of grievances written in a style I'd expect from a 16-year-old

That's pretty much every article she writes.

13

u/ConeyDogs_420 2d ago

I read the whole article and got pissed. Sure she had valid points about the parking lots and public subsidies but everything else came off as smug and arrogant. Thinking she owns the city and anyone who visits from the suburbs is a toxic drain on the city. I’ll poke fun of suburbanites who come to the city and flee to back home the second the game is over but they have every right to visit our city.

Her first paragraph ruined any chance I would take her opinion seriously. She sounds like a truly miserable person.

“I hate crowds. I hate litter. I hate drunk people who saunter slowly across the street I’m trying to drive on to work, sure that I’ll cheerfully slow to a crawl as they take what seems like hours to cross a three-lane road. I hate the Detroit double bind: That some visitors to our city on Opening Day will judge Detroit’s cleanliness and efficiency and tolerance for roaming drunk people by Opening Day crowds, but that most of the folks in the crowd aren’t Detroiters.”

God forbid people enjoy themselves and it takes you an extra 5 mins to get to work. The “most folks aren’t Detroiters” is just so god damn smug, especially assuming that Nancy probably isn’t a native detroiter and is most likely from the suburbs too.

2

u/daveygoboom 2d ago

These are the perspectives I appreciate.

2

u/WhoIs_DankeyKang 2d ago

Not sure what she expects living in a major metropolitan area that has 4 popular major sports teams?? Hey Nancy if you hate crowds, litter, drunk people, and having to drive slowly in a congested downtown area maybe like... Don't live in a city???

4

u/WorldWalker5587 Grosse Pointe 2d ago

Agreed. I do not agree with the author except where you do but I think it is important for news to have "hot takes" to prove not everybody thinks or feels the same way about a popular thing.
GO TIGERS

8

u/carmenslowsky 2d ago

I love baseball but I also hate opening day. Go ahead and downvote me, I already know I’m a killjoy.

6

u/NotHannibalBurress 2d ago

I love that people enjoy going down and making a party of opening day. It’s not my thing either…I would rather just go to a game in May and just enjoy a day of baseball, but I’m not one to yuck someone else’s yum. If people want an excuse to party, so be it.

2

u/Grouchy_Enthusiasm92 2d ago

They should move the stadium to Auburn Hills to avoid these kinds of inconveniences.

2

u/Economy-Custard5493 2d ago

This coming from the Opinion Editor of the Free Press is kind of shocking. Tigers Opening day is one of the few yearly events that brings the entire metro Detroit area together on hopefully a beautiful spring day to celebrate one of most storied Detroit institution, the Tigers. I guess Karen’s sometimes come in the form of Nancy’s.

2

u/seansy5000 2d ago

Boooo. Why are you hating on our beloved Tigers?

1

u/Remote_Preference 2d ago

Is this rage bait for clicks?

Even if I had strong negative opinions about opening day, I can't imagine sharing them at work since everyone would hate me. I especially can't imagine publishing it in the Detroit Free Press lol

1

u/grimj88 2d ago

Negative Nancy she sounds like a man hater I’m sure she has lots of cats probably a political extremist

1

u/brettriv 2d ago

She looks like someone who would hate Opening Day

1

u/AbeVigoda76 2d ago

There’s something unappealing about a reporter from Mobile, AL shitting on opening day like she’s the voice of Detroit.

1

u/Mister_Squirrels 2d ago

I probably agree with many of her gripes, but she needs to fuck all the way off with this bullshit.

1

u/NoodleCzar dickbutt 2d ago

I hate fun!

1

u/Dramatic-Nerve2292 2d ago

So, judging from these comments,  I picture most of these people sit on the porch and scream "YOU KIDS GET OF OFF MY LAWN!! " 🤣

1

u/Dramatic-Nerve2292 2d ago

 Baseball, no other sport matches it, take it in RELAX!

1

u/According-Invite6615 2d ago

Well you hate yourself so what you wrote makes sense lmfao

1

u/wellrolloneup 2d ago

Negative Nancy

1

u/Any_Insect6061 1d ago

Definitely a damn Karen. Like Opening Day is tradition. Holidays must be amazing with her. If she hates it so much, she needs to move up North.

1

u/mattyd1216 1d ago

This is such an old tired take, I expect nothing less from her and this rag.

0

u/TheeRumHam 2d ago

The only thing I agree with is the bit about non-Detroiters passing judgement on the city while only attending during litter-filled and drunken events like opening day.

0

u/Tmold16 2d ago

Why doesn’t she take transit

0

u/Cheetawolf Grosse Pointe 2d ago

The traffic.

Took me 15 minutes to make two turns coming home from work.