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u/Advanced-Daikon-8344 1d ago
people who have to deal with this are secretly unhappy
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u/CrumbleKnuckle 1d ago
I've got a secret for you. It's not a secret.
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u/ABBucsfan 1d ago
Which is what's sad. We joke about it because to talk about it in a non joking matter is to realize it's actually really messed up, like many other marriage jokes... Shouldn't be that way but it is
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u/CrumbleKnuckle 1d ago
Absolutely. The fact that it's commonplace is what's truly disturbing.
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u/ABBucsfan 1d ago
Then we got people in here acting like this is a small minority or something unusual. There is a reason it's a very common joke, there is a reason there are sayings like happy wife, happy life, and why people say stuff like i have to check with the boss. No need to gaslight lol
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u/ThermalScrewed 1d ago
Men that think this is nonsense just haven't experienced it.... YET
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u/Breaker-of-circles 22h ago
Men are just optimistic that way. Then a woman comes a long.
Now before women lose their shit, let me use a phrase women love to use:
Not saying all women, but it's always a woman.
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u/CrumbleKnuckle 1d ago
Entire generations were founded on the principals behind these sayings. It's a cult mentality.
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u/SpermicidalManiac666 1d ago
Lead me to a divorce! The “happy wife happy life” trope is so fucking stupid and not only did I fall for it, I can’t believe how long it has hung on.
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u/Front-Singer-6505 1d ago
my ex wife had the audacity to straight up say that's how it's supposed to be lol. "Everyone knows the wife is always right!" well my dear you can go be right over there
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u/No_Replacement228 1d ago
Agreed, but it's the only way to truly have a hetero relationship. Certainly shouldn't be that way, and not very healthy, but we are men, so we need to "do better".
This is, however, a major reason I will never date again..I feel so bad for all the homies in relationships. They are all this way.
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u/FactoryRejected 1d ago
That is shortsighted- people who have to deal with this are just people. Disagreements occur in any relationship, it's how you deal with it that matters. Reddit approach to just ignore the reality and suggest for people with normal relationship problems to just run away is just sad.
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u/MiniSpaceHamstr 21h ago
But that is the entire point... It's how you deal with it.
50% of relationships end in divorce.
4/5 divorces are initiated by woman.
Men are forced to either deal with it in the manner the comedian is suggesting, or face life-long financial and emotional ruin.
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u/FactoryRejected 17h ago
Firstly, it's not really what I mean at all. Being right is just a terrible attitude to have in any relationship, you will fight as that is putting your ego ahead of the relationship often. Yet Reddit is like "F*k her, run away!
Secondly, you're likely from the US, divorce rates are similar elsewhere, but not the rest in terms of gender, so this is not something most men have to deal with. Still, a valid point in your case.
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u/Unable-Cellist-4277 1d ago
Guys. If you don’t have a relationship like this, that is truly awesome and I unironically am happy for you and your partner.
The reason this resonates with people is that a lot of heterosexual relationships play out exactly like this. You can love someone deeply and still think their way of arguing is goofy.
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u/_---____--- 1d ago
Serious question, why heterosexual relationships? Excuse my ignorance.
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u/Unable-Cellist-4277 1d ago
I can only speak to hetero relationships and I feel like it would be ignorant for me to try and extend this observation beyond that.
That said, I am sure many relationships have this dynamic regardless of the the genders involved.
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u/el-dongler 1d ago
This bro is living in 2075 with that logic.
Bravo dude
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u/Unable-Cellist-4277 1d ago
If I’ve learned anything in my 40 years it’s that I.) I don’t know as much as I think I do and II.) what little I know mostly can’t be generalized.
Or as my grandfather’s might have said “I don’t know shit about shit.”
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u/MarloTheMorningWhale 1d ago
You aren't giving yourself enough credit. Simply by admitting you don't know as much as you think you do, means you do in fact know more than those who think they know. Those who swear they are smart are usually dumb AF and can't see beyond the pores of their own nose.
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u/FortesqueIV 2h ago
Women bro that’s the answer go look at lesbian relationship divorce rates and why they do it. It’s the same reasons straight men complain about lol.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Run2695 1d ago
Gay relationships don't have the pressure to conform to gender roles/stereotypes.
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u/shadylucy 1d ago
The saying of "happy wife, happy life" doesn't really mean anything when it's two men married to each other. And it becomes a game of back and forth when they're both women.
A lot of societal pressures and philosophies about marriage are very specific to the idea of a dominant man who provides monetary value and a submissive wife who takes care of the home and the kids.
Even a couple that doesn't have that dynamic will constantly be compared to it, when a father is taking the kids out to the park it's often joked that he is "babysitting", which often infuriates men who are the primary caretakers of their children.
The same pressures are still applied to gay couples, but they more obviously don't fit. For example, a lot of "straight" media will depict gay couples as having one guy who is the breadwinner and the other one is super into decorating the home, or a lesbian couple where one is a butch mechanic who repairs things around the house and the other is her little princess.
That's not to say gay couples can't actually fall into those same roles and traps of "well you should always just say your partner is right even when they're wrong", but they don't have the same coat of paint as our more mainstream ideals of a relationship so. It's easier to recognize the toxicity or problems with those ideas without that paint.
For example, if a man makes less money than this wife, popular public sentiment (or at least, hyper masculine sentiment) would dictate that he is less of a man or should be ashamed by this.
A gay person might feel personally inadequate if they make less than their partner, but there isn't the same societal pressure to outperform their partner if they are the same gender.
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u/NoVaFlipFlops 1d ago
If there were more women comics we would be hearing this bit in reverse.
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u/Unable-Cellist-4277 1d ago
I think when men get stereotyped it’s usually that we are semi-Neanderthal sexual deviants which, while harsh, doesn’t feel 100% untrue?
I think Jackie Kashian is amazing and there’s so many great female comedians out there.
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u/MeMyselfIAndTheRest 1d ago
Those people need to grow a pair of balls. It's not about "I'd rather be happy than right." It's about principle and maintaining value in yourself.
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u/scruffy01 1d ago
its an amazing coincidence redditors are both unwilling to compromise on anything or let anything go, but are also perpetually alone. Truly a mystery that evades us all.
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u/MeMyselfIAndTheRest 18h ago
I've been happily married for 8 years. When you set a foundation to be a doormat, you stay that way. When you set a foundation to not be a door mat, you won't be.
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u/ProfileIII 1d ago
Yeah, I don't really get it. Isn't this essentially admitting that you can't be yourself around your life partner? The person you're supposed to spend a large majority of your time with and supposedly love above everyone else?
Seems extremely miserable tbh.
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u/Guvante 1d ago
I think it is important to acknowledge that the graph presented by OP has a core concept in it. Where do you get right from.
Taken at face value of "what the presenter" thinks it matches the joke well.
Trying to imply that is true of objective reality brings "what is right" into question. Since generally these jokes are about very soft things.
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u/Tsu_Dho_Namh 1d ago
No, it's absolutely "I'd rather be happy than right."
I live with a happily married couple where the wife does not take being wrong well. So the husband just agrees with her. Honestly, it works. Swallowing his pride is a hell of a lot better than being alone. Plus they don't disagree often so it's not like he has to do it a lot.
I used to correct her, I even used my phone or told her to look it up (spoilers, she hates facts and fact checking). But after a few tantrums and her being moody for days after I learned to just leave it. She can believe whatever she wants, doesn't affect me.
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u/scottygroundhog22 1d ago
If you are truly happy im glad for you. I could never be in such a relationship where my partner cannot be wrong. Feels like communication is crippled before it even starts
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u/Tsu_Dho_Namh 1d ago
Oh I couldn't either. But thankfully I didn't marry her.
I've wondered sometimes whether he's hoping she'll get better (she used to be better, only became unreasonable in the last few years) or if it's just better to manage than divorce.
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u/MeMyselfIAndTheRest 1d ago
I know that some people rationalise it like this. It wasn't my intent to deny that people think and operate like this.
My points was that people who operate like this are
p*ssiesspineless babiesweak. How can you have any self worth if you let other people walk all over you.3
u/Tsu_Dho_Namh 1d ago
Funny, that's how she feels. Only she sees anyone disagreeing with her as "walking all over her".
Reminds me of a study they did on grade school bullies, where the majority of bullies they interviewed were surprised to hear they were considered bullies. Literally saw themselves as the victims.
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u/shpongolian 1d ago
I found out last year that two of my friends (one lives a different state) went to the same high school. I asked each of them separately if they knew each other, and got the exact same answer from both: “yeah, she was my high school bully”
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u/Unable-Cellist-4277 1d ago
The best way to be 100% true to yourself 100% of the time is to not be tied to anyone and never be in a serious relationship.
I’ve yet to meet a couple married for decades that doesn’t have some give and take and yes that involves biting your tongue from time to time even when you know you’re right.
If you’re not biting your tongue and you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are your partner is biting theirs.
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u/MeMyselfIAndTheRest 18h ago
That's fucked up dude.
Both parties can have open conversations about something that they feel is wrong.
not being a doormat doesn't shut the door on having give and take or self improvement.
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u/Thin-Introduction491 1d ago
This dude is underrated
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u/Dungo42 1d ago edited 1d ago
His name is Don McMillan, and he is hilarious! He was even on America's Got Talent a few years ago. Life After Death By PowerPoint is a must watch of his
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u/miserablegit 1d ago
Saw him in Vegas at a corporate conference - slightly dated humor but still very funny.
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u/Kwayzar9111 1d ago
not in my bloody marriage, we both admit when we are wrong and listen to each other
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u/MeMyselfIAndTheRest 1d ago
WTF?? That sounds healthy and probably leads to both personal and mutual growth? Stop it immediately.
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u/Typical_Canary_4038 1d ago
Guys if this is true for you, then leave her
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u/Op111Fan 1d ago
and lose your house and custody of your kids
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u/Apprehensive_Pen6726 1d ago
Those damn kids are gunna have to take one for the team lol, delusional wife isn’t the answer.
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u/Jabclap27 1d ago
I genuinely think I'd rather be single forever than be in a marriage like this tbh
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u/Dense-Mud-2880 1d ago
The old jokes stay relevant as long as reality coincides with it.
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u/doinkeroni-jones 1d ago
Wow, that’s old!
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u/doinkeroni-jones 1d ago
Oh my goodness! That’s almost 100 years old!
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u/doinkeroni-jones 1d ago
Holy SHIT dude… people need to hear about this.
There are INFINITE people collecting social security and they can’t even die!
Wow!!!
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u/GiganticMuscleFreak 1d ago
Don't be fooled into thinking this is normal and "just how women are." I get it's a joke, but this something clueless boners fall into because they don't know any better and end up killing themselves
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u/iamprobablytalkingbs 1d ago
Bruh, the whole feed under this post is drinking engine coolant
Then people ask:
whY aRe MeN aLwAyS siLent UnTil iTs toO laTe!?
Also them:
SHUT THE FUCK UP, DAN. YOU ARE ALWAYS WRONG, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT.
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u/Orichalchem 1d ago
When my wife knew she was wrong
She would somehow reversal it back to me and eventually turn it to me being wrong and her being right
To that day forward, i now let her do all the decisions and chores in the house since i would always do it wrong
... 😉
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u/iamprobablytalkingbs 1d ago
This is not ok. You should seek couples therapy. I genuinely mean it, helped my wife and I enormously.
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u/Old-Language-8942 1d ago
You see, she was wrong, and insulted you and your intelligence while being wrong, then you got mad while proving you were right, and because you being mad was wrong, you were wrong.
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u/PFriends 1d ago edited 1d ago
Honestly I don't understand how that's funny.
That's basically saying you're constantly gaslighted by your partner, and joking about It only reinforces the stereotype.
Imagine the same jokes but with inverted roles, and everybody would be screaming abuse.
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u/Odin16596 1d ago
What kind of abuse are we streaming?
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u/PFriends 1d ago
Well, gaslighting Is usually considered abuse and claiming to be right even when you're not or not sharing any of the blame but shifting It to the partner Is textbook gaslighting
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u/old_ass_ninja_turtle 1d ago
“Why do you have to be right?” She asks.
“That’s a good point. But why do YOU have to be right?” I respond.
“I don’t have to be right,” is her response.
“Then why are we arguing?” I follow.
The couch is gunna be comfortable tonight.
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u/Kill_Monke 1d ago
Imagine ever admitting that you're this hen-pecked 😂
Why not tell her to have the couch instead of she's so obsessed with it?
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u/Sudden-Bat4412 1d ago
The people laughing and cheering imagine if you’re saying that about a man you wouldn’t laugh or cheer you’d think he’s an abuser or patriarch evil blah blah blah. This is how boys are trying to think they are worthless. The female is everything happy wife happy life
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u/TheSpectator0_0 1d ago
I know this is a joke, but gentlemen and any ladies that might stumble across this, please don't settle for someone who doesn't want to compromise. I've seen and heard about too many relationships where people are dating horrible selfish people just because they were brainwashed by the media telling them men are all like this or women are all like that
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u/ThirstyBeagle 1d ago
Bringing logic gates into comedy, his computer engineering degree finally pays off! 😂
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u/Ickythumpin 1d ago
Wish I had this graph at the beginning of my marriage, it would have saved me from getting into a lot of dumb arguments lol.
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u/TigusVaton 1d ago
Any woman who not only disagrees with this but DORS SO IN PRACTICE is a keeper. Automatically a 10/10
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u/Craydorion 1d ago
Honestly...
How much more of this "Women, am I right?" BS do we really need?
If you married a psycho that's on you, not on us and not on women in general. Don't blame anyone but your self for your lack of communication skills
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u/SixNineWithTheAfro 1d ago
Are you saying you’re right about this? Or is someone else wrong?
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u/WienerBatter 1d ago
They're claiming that this is wrong because they feel that it makes it sound like women are bad in general.
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u/SixNineWithTheAfro 1d ago
So don is wrong? I think this was covered.
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u/WienerBatter 1d ago
I was just answering your obvious question, which received an obvious answer. Apparently, nobody caught the tongue in cheek nature of it.
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u/Elaias_Mat 1d ago
"if you married a psycho, that's on you, don't blame anyone else" so victim blaming is ok when it's a man...
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u/Haunting_Baseball_92 1d ago
Yeah, try saying that to a wife who just got her nose broken for the 20th time. Not as funny right?
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u/Craydorion 1d ago
Sigh. I think you've missed my point. I was not victim blaming. This post, atleast as far as I understood, was about a partner(in this case a woman) who is insufferable and can't admit to be wrong. I would not call that full on abuse.
So if you've chosen your spouse out of free will, then that's first and foremost you're own responsebility. And so are the compromises you make for that relationship.
I never said it's solely on you. But mostly. You're responsible for your own decisions.
What I don't respect is when someone is in a toxic relationship and they, instead of trying fix their and their s.o.'s issues, just project their partners toxic trades on the entirety of their partners gender. Imo that's just a lazy excuse to not work on yourself and won't make you happy in the long run.
Edit: typo
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u/Brief-Ad519 1d ago
Reading the last paragraph of your response, I couldn’t help but think of that trend of women saying they would rather be in the woods with a bear instead of a man, implying the average man is obviously much more dangerous than a bear. And if you’re a man and were offended by the trend (calling an entire gender violent and dangerous) then you’re part of the problem.
Men commit most of all violent crimes compared to women, but comparing those violent men to the entire male population, violent men would make up 2% of the population. I could give more examples with different types of behavior, but I’d rather not. Women make negative generalizations about men all the time, you never have?
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u/Narrow_Committee6243 1d ago
It all seemed pretty good natured to me rather than toxic and insufferable.
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u/Autistic-Fact-3260 1d ago
Exactly why I never want another relationship. They’ve never felt worth it.
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u/Pawl_Evian 21h ago
I feel like it could be an interesting topic. Is there any particular reason why is it always this way ? (Always = very often bc tbh i never saw/heard abt a man acting like that)
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u/SunderedValley 15h ago
Because they define truth as a social construct.
A disagreement is perceived as an attack on her as a person so she's defending herself from the allegations of being insufficient.
Men and women simply speak two different languages and it takes exorbitant effort for a woman not to hear "I think you're dumb and genuinely detestable" when the guy just means "we can't get this thing organized in time".
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u/SciFi_Wasabi999 1d ago
This is some boomer shit. If you think like this, don't get married.
Partners who can't acknowledge when they're wrong are either too egoistic to admit to being imperfect, or are in relationships that punish/humiliate failure. If you really think this is accurate, your wife already knows you hate her.
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u/ComfortableRow8437 1d ago
You all need to lighten up. This is clearly meant to be humorous.
And by that, I meant my upper arm.
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u/arkayer 1d ago
I don't experience this personally, but I have seen it several times. This leads to inequality in decision making, unspoken resentment, and possibly learned helplessness.
I would be incredibly uncomfortable if I was right, my partner was wrong, and I had to admit being wrong in a situation like that.
My personal policy is only to bring up a disagreement if I have actual opinions on it. If I have light feelings or total apathy, then my partner will get their way, no disagreement with me. The point is to be less frivolous and to have my opinion have real weight when I do care about something.
To each their own, I suppose.
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u/Poopzapper 1d ago
Been seeing variations of this joke my whole life and expected it to be funny when I got into a relationship. It never did get funny because my partner is a normal functioning human being. But you've all heard this take before.
My unique comment to make here is that this always feels like it implies that these disagreements are incredibly frequent. I know it's not outright stated, but the man has "scientific data" as a part of the joke.
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u/TheLastLornak 1d ago
This comedian is great. Can't remember his name but he has a great bit about the difference between nerds and geeks
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u/toddkhamilton 1d ago
this is childish, grownups that can admit their faults, ego driven adult-children can't, and im no kid diddler
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u/THEBADW0LFE 1d ago
His whole routine is fantastic. Watch more of him and you'll understand. All on par with this level of comedy.
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u/Yoloswaggins89 1d ago
We all laugh at this but in actuality people need to hold there partners accountable and not simply agree with them because they feel a certain way
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u/SmartAlec13 1d ago
Boomer level humor here
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u/Dense-Mud-2880 1d ago
Nah. This is more like evergreen humor. Coz it's always true.
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u/SmartAlec13 1d ago
Hah not at all. That’s what I’m saying, it’s boomer as hell lol. There are plenty of men and women out there who have great relationships where this shit doesn’t happen.
Source: I am in one.
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u/Dense-Mud-2880 1d ago
U are in a relationship where this doesn't happen. So?
If you don't know about the country Libya, does that mean the country doesn't exist on the map? Whats ur logic here? Lmao
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u/SmartAlec13 1d ago
No. I’m saying the existence of my relationship immediately proves you are wrong. You said “it’s always true”. When it’s not. It’s not always true. Disagreements in relationships aren’t “the wife is always right” like this suggests, nor “just keep the wife happy”. They don’t have to be, at least.
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u/Dense-Mud-2880 1d ago
You said “it’s always true”.
You must be some special kind of a person. See one guy in a wheelchair is faster than me. But when I say I'm faster than guys in wheelchairs, it doesn't mean its not true. Give your head a shake.
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u/SmartAlec13 1d ago
….what?
You really are dense as mud lol.
You said this is evergreen humor because the point being made is “always true”. I proved you are incorrect, it is not always true, because I am in a relationship where this is not true. I know many other people in relationships where this is not true.
So your statement is false, this is not always true in relationships.
It’s boomer ass level humor because it’s “huh huh hate wife” brand.
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u/Dense-Mud-2880 1d ago
Just say jokes where women are the butt of the jokes trigger you somehow. Because you're fragile af.
“huh huh hate wife” brand.
U actually think jokes are hatred. Lmao. U might think jokes on husband are hate crimes as well. Just learn to take jokes as jokes. Coz usually men and women with good sense of humor do so.
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u/SmartAlec13 1d ago
I’m not fragile for thinking this brand of jokes is boring, old, and displays an underlying issue with how relationships are constructed. It’s simply not funny, and not an “always true” thing like you claimed it to be.
That’s it lol. I’m not a broken little piece of glass over this joke. I get that it’s a joke. It’s just a lame one, and one I don’t find funny. I’ve never found this style of humor to be funny, even as a kid, a teen, and now adult.
It’s cringe
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u/Dense-Mud-2880 1d ago
It's not boring if people laugh at it and still enjoy it. If u don't enjoy it or feel it triggers you, that's fine. Don't laugh at it
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u/PoopingOnCompanyTim 1d ago
Are you married tho?
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u/SmartAlec13 1d ago
I’ve been living with my fiancé for almost 10 years now. Getting married at this point is just putting it in legal and having a party to celebrate lol. That is to say, we are very deep in our relationship and comfortable with each other. And our relationship is founded on trust, honesty, and genuine communication.
If I think she’s wrong about something, I have no issue telling her. If she thinks I’m wrong about something, she has no issue telling me. Arguments don’t go like the joke here shows; we might go back and forth a bit (as any argument does) but we come together to figure it out, it’s not about proving who’s right or trying to play petty games with eachother.
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u/PoopingOnCompanyTim 1d ago
I was in the exact same situation as you with my now current wife. Lived together for a decade-ish, and got married. I'm not saying your relationship will change on a fundamental level, but the stakes are considerably larger when married vs engaged. I'm not dogging on yalls relationship, yall sound great, but when it takes a judge to officially separate the 2 of you, its much more serious. That seriousness leads to you wagering, is this argument/disagreement worth it. Most of the time it's no, so you concede. I thought this was boomer humor right when you're currently at, and now 2 years married, it's true. Happy wife, happy wife is legit and real. You can have the most level headed partner, and it's still true(My wife is amazing and smarter than me, and very level headed). It's not about hating your wife, and being forced into submission. It just isn't worth arguing over stupid shit. Congrats BTW!
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u/LostinStocks 1d ago
yeah, that's not far away from reality though, You Western People done that for decades now and look were this nonsense got you, Woke, Feminism, women doesn't act like a sensitive beautiful flower anymore but rather like a man and in exchange the man became so week and irresponsible that the woman her self says that she doesn't need a man in her life to protect her. you guys trying to undo this madness, but im afraid is to late now.
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u/Genepool13 1d ago
Just let the wife win and carry on with the night. So much easier than trying to argue a point.
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u/_Mike-Honcho_ 1d ago
"I'm sorry we don't agree and that upsets you."
It's a passive-aggressive apology that's not an apology.
Works every time.
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u/whiteboytrapfan 1d ago
I'm glad things are changing but this is hilarious I was raised on happy wife happy life.
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u/ArcIgnis 20h ago
They laugh, but any individual that would be placed in a situation that's always wrong, but their partner is right, is going to destroy your self-esteem and infect your mind with the opinion that you're inadequate.
The humor in it, is that it's true. The reality is definitely not funny.
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u/UneditedReddit 1d ago
Why would a woman get with a man who is wrong? What is there to respect about a marriage when there is no husband to make the right decisions for his family?
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