I have found I am far more functional than most people with HPD. I'm always happy (except when I'm alone) I am constantly flirting with people I don't even notice it so with some people I'm mean so I don't seam like I'm flirting with them.

My life is great I need both negative and positive attention but I try to get them in different places so I don't lose my positive attention.

My worst problem is with romance I become to attached to fast and bored to quickly. I dated a girl with NPD to get the attention of my ex who I was over attached to terrible idea by the way.

I don't feel emotions like guilt shame or envy but that doesn't mean I don't care about people I just don't think the past matters I am overly forgiving because I simply do not care.

Sometimes I will cut my moles of with a scalpel because I don't like the look of them.

I genuinely hate one kind of attention though pity it fucks me off how dare you feel sorry for me. But as a result I never have done anything pathetic like fake a suicide attempt.

I don't feel empty some people talk about feeling empty I'm happy 24/7 even when sad I'm happy. I have a strong sense of identity and pride. A lot of people say I have a god complex or a large ego and they would be correct.

I've been trying to find some

I want my parents to die or me getting hospitalized or anything to make people feel sorry for me. I want an excuse to cry my eyes out and drag it along as long as I can. I want people to ask me if I'm okay and me sobbing into their arms every time.

My sister in law without a doubt has HPD and I’m over her texting me constantly to what seems like to validate her existence. Any advice on how to make it stop???!

My HPD ass: BUT IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW UP, GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION AND FLIRT So yeah, I'm going out, I'm tired but I'm going Update: I actually flirted with 4 people and got the number of 2 of them

What I mean by this is basically that when I make a new social media account, I get this feeling of momentary bliss. I feel like because I'm reinvesting myself I am going to get new attention without my past weighing me down. Of course, this rarely works, but in my clouded mental state, when I create a new social media I often think it will help me become a new person and get more attention. Around twice I created new accounts and interacted with the same people without letting them know it was still me because I knew they were reliable sources of attention but I also felt like I wasn't receiving it the way I wanted (I feel a lot of guilt over this but there's nothing I can really do). Does this happen to anyone else?

I heard a lot of psychiatrists saying that ppwHPD care a lot about their appearance but idk how it actually is, if it's a individual thing like some people like going to the gym or wearing expensive clothes or whatever. Both my therapist and psychiatrist think I may have been misdiagnosed with BPD when I actually have HPD and it makes more sense to me but the way I deal with getting attention with my physical appearance is looking weird cus I live in a conservative city and I notice ppl staring and sometimes they even talk to me to say how cool they think I look. So I was wondering how is that for you guys?

ive noticed people genuinely think im sick in the head like ive done extreme shit for attention, admitting this even on the internet is embarrassing. Ive hit myself with hammers ive sliced my face my stomach my neck ive been deceitful many times ive lied so much hurt people close to me, im a piece of shit lowkey I feel so angry all the time and i feel like I really cant control myself I actually get so angry i feel like I lose myself in my anger I do so much shit I regret and Ive been told it by other people and that they have to walk eggshells around me which makes me feel so guilty like i feel like my only solution is death i just hate people so much and feel so ostracized and non existent in this world sometimes my view completely flips especially when I get attention or things go right for a bit and I think “wow the world is great everythings great my lifes great” and I feel so joyful and energized and like i actually want to live and I was a pathological liar however i am significantly a more honest person now and got rid of it, it was after i took 7 grams of mushrooms to be honest. my mind is so scattered a lot of the time and I dont feel human

18m All my life I’ve felt a need for others attention for validation and not too sound to up myself but I’m not the ugliest screw in the shed so I’ve also been inclined to using my physical attractiveness for attention. I have also been more self aware of when I’m manipulating others and realising I do it a lot more often then I realise. For example when I was a younger teen i literally committed acts of self harm for people to see purposefully not because I was depressed and made up heinous untrue stories about my past purely for other people’s attention. I had trouble maintaining friends in high school due to constantly lying for attention and gossiping so I was labeled a pathological liar which at the time I was. I’ve often said shocking and inappropriate things to insight reactions out of others that more often than not have lead to negative consequences. And ontop of that I also have a generous amount of grandiosity that I try to combat with logic as I know I’m not any better or special than other people but still feel a burning sense of injustice when I feel like I’m overlooked. But yeah what do yall think NPD, HPD , or am I lowkey just a wack person who needs to get some therapy and stop thinking about themselves

I think this is the most accurate depiction of HPD. I identified so much with her personality but couldn’t stand it lol and then I recently found out about HPD.

i have noticed that i use all of those traits for attention in some way or another. i feel the need to try to hard until i cant anymore, just so people notice that im such an amazing person that helps out in society.. and that im soooo rare. and hopefully i will get something positive from all of what i do. but, once someone criticizes me.. i end up literally just hating them and then my ego shoots right through the atmosphere. but I STILL FEEL LIKE I NEED AS MUCH ATTENTION AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE FOR BEING SUCH A RARE BREEDDDD.. insert that emoji dissolving screaming shit thing here.

also, to note!! i am not diagnosed HPD, but i have been medically recognized with several cluster B symptoms and diagnosed with BPD. (i hope i dont get anymore Dxs.. like oh my god. THE FUCKING STIGMA WOULD BE THE DEATH OF ME AND MY EGOOO.)

I acted self important in group chat then creating a scenario in my head where my boss is annoyed with me so I text him like please disregard this and he’s like I’m not paying it any mind I’m working and I get embarrassed

I learned about this recently, and I think I fit the description. I love attention, and sometimes, I'm upset with the people who don't give me the attention I desire. This isn't towards everyone, though, just specific people who I like, particularly one of my best friends.

(Note, not saying any of the below is okay, but I wanted to show how things are and how I feel)

I have the fortune of having an amazing friend, but with the misfortune of her constantly being BUSY for years on end at this point, it's just exhausting that we barely get the time to talk. The worst part is, that after finally not being busy for months, she ends up even less available to talk online. I can't win any attention.

Now I'm a guy with grand gestures. Getting her an autograph from a singer she likes when I met him casually. Getting her a cake she always wanted because she helped me with a big project, etc. And I do those because I want to be a good friend and make her happy by showing her I appreciate her. But, things just don't change. Sometimes, I feel like what's the point?

Last year, she wanted to change the day we hang out because she wanted to start going to the gym (knowing that for us to find a free day), felt bad coming second to a gym. I also went travelling and barely spoke to my friends so I decided to video call them but she couldn't answer because she was playing a board game with her family, like couldn't you just excuse yourself for a quick hello?

She was busy with her thesis last year too, which was fine, but it felt like she had LESS time to talk after she finished it, I don't get that. She started a new job and a special course, and of course she was busy, but now that she has free time from finishing her course, again, she has less time to talk.

I go all big gestures in our group chat cause again, at the time, I'm genuinely happy for her and want to go all big, but I hardly receive any attention and it frustrates me!

I want to be better, but most search about "how to stop craving attention as a histrionic person" just leads me to posts of "how to help your friend who is histrionic". Why are there more places dedicated to help a friend with the disorder than self help for people with it? I want to stop being so frustrated and stop craving attention.

I can't be the only one

My friends are getting away from me cus they said I'm being a manipulator and toxic but I just wanted some company, maybe watch a movie togeether and vent idk

hi!

i went to see a therapist for the first time a few weeks ago and within about 15-20 mins she was telling me the previous assessments of my old therapist were incorrect and i have HPD. she told me i needed to research this personality disorder to have an epiphany and understand that i've been attention seeking my whole life and that i have complex relationships with my family because of it. i disagreed with her and tried to explain that my relationship to my parents was complicated because they are former addicts but she kept talking over me. she told me i put people on pedestals and i freak out when they aren't what i expect them to be but we hadn't discussed any of my previous relationships or friendships. all i had said to prompt that statement was that i've struggled to make friends in my life. my previous therapist i had for around 3 years had suspected i was autistic and had OCD, and encouraged me to seek diagnoses for them. i didn't really try, i was happy with just having an answer for why i felt so alien as a kid. i always felt like everyone understood things i didn't and that i was a bull in a china shop socially speaking. i have never felt like i idolize people in my life, i am very interested in learning the minor complexities of the people i love- that obviously comes with understanding their flaws. i like knowing how my loved ones operate, especially when they are upset or feel vulnerable because then i have a better understanding of how to help them.

i was telling her that i struggle with emotional regulation, my feelings often feel bigger than me and it's a struggle for me to communicate them in a way i feel satisfied with. i'm prone to shutting down or shutting people out until i've reached The Perfect Answer for why i'm upset. i was trying to explain that and she interrupted me after i said 'my emotions often feel bigger than myself' and said that i am displaying histrionic traits. i also cried a few times during the session and she would seem... i'm not sure how to put it? almost suspicious of me? she told me there was no chance i was autistic and that i need to stop wanting something to be wrong with me. i cried because it was overwhelming to hear that something i had identifying with so strongly was being presented to me as a huge lie i had tricked myself into believing, and when i got emotional she said 'why do you care so much if i take this identity away from you? why do you want something to be wrong with you?"

also i think she believes i'm faking a medical condition. i was under the impression i had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia with my previous PCP. she said that was what i was experiencing and wrote me a doctors note for an accommodation for my job, but the actual diagnosis of fibromyalgia was not in my patient file. i was very confused and my therapist had a really weird energy when i brought it up. she had asked me if i experience any physical pain often and i said i have fibro and she was like 'i went over your file incredibly thoroughly you have no history of fibro. why do you need to have fibro?' i was very confused and i tried to explain the conversation i had with my PCP but she cut me off and we moved on in the conversation.

all of this to say, i don't feel like i have HPD. i asked many people who are close to me to look over the symptoms list and see if anything grabs their attention, nobody thought it was an accurate description of me.

my question now is, as people who experience HPD, would any of you be willing to ask me some questions that you feel my answers would indicate that i have HPD? or offer any personal accounts of your experience so i can compare them to my own life? i think i need a more human account of this disorder to fully say i committed to researching this disorder to rule it out for myself.

thank you, i appreciate any feedback!!

Hello! I’m the head of a project that is built on supporting and raising positive awareness of different mental health conditions, and I unfortunately don’t know anyone with HPD in my immediate circles to be able to “proofread” this design. The brief summary is that it’s designed based off a support flag made for HPD and I’m just looking for some feedback/critism!

I strongly suspect my best friend has hpd, but i know if i tell them about my suspicions they will be very upset and take it as an insult and will be less likely to start exploring it . How should I go about this, what could be a discreet way to make them look into and understand this?

How borderlines feel empty yet they have so much depth inside while histrionics feel deeply but have so much emptiness inside?

Tw for abse, rpe, etc.

This is taking a lot for me to open up about as I am very ashamed of this. Please be kind or don’t comment at all, i know this is disgusting.

Anyways.. I often fantasize about being in terrible situations, such as being strangled, stabbed, raped, trafficked, etc. I genuinely wish for this stuff to happen to me and I’m not sure why. I have lied about things before because I also want people to look at me as a victim, I want them to feel bad for me and be concerned. I want more attention and love.

I was in a car crash once, not terrible if I’m being honest, but later that night I went home and repeatedly smacked/hit/punched one part of my face to the point of (accidentally) giving myself a concussion because I wanted to exaggerate my accident.

I also have cut myself off from most social situations unless completely necessary because I want to come back looking very thin, and like I went through some terrible sort of trauma.

I genuinely wish bad things could happen to me. Not just for the attention, I just… want to be abused and I’m not sure why.

I know that the need for attention comes from some childhood problems but it’s so embarrassing and shameful to feel this way.

I’m crying while writing this.. all I want is to be loved and valued and to feel like people do care about me… I know I’m seriously f*cked up, I know. I just want people to show that they care cuz I don’t think they do..

I honestly never heard about this disorder and once I read about it everything suddenly made sense. Not only was she desperate to be the center of attention, she was also prone to lying, and not normal lies but embellished stories created to give her sympathy and/or attention.

She has been diagnosed with both ptsd and adhd... and now I'm seriously considering she manipulated her doctors because they are sort of the "popular" disorders right now. You see, she had a lot of self-image issues but she craved the attention so she was extremely active online and she wanted to control her image constantly.

Most of the time she seeked medical attention was through online therapy sessions... and I could hear her a lot of time. So imagine my surprise when I noticed she lied to her therapists, her nutritionists and etc constantly; she never told them what she actually did wrong so every advice or diagnosis they gave her felt misguided. And the few times she tried to go personally to a therapist she always quit after a month at most.

I think the first time I realized just how fucked up things were was when we were supposed to go to the gym but just as we hit the streets I realized I left my gym pass at home. I told her to get going, I grabbed it in less than 30 seconds and went back. The street was a straight line and I could see her in front of me the whole time, but I didn't bother hurrying, so I just caught her just as she entered the gym... and she told me about an encounter with a weird guy she just had on the streets... which was impossible because there was nobody on the streets that early and I would have seen them on either direction.

You see, she used to tell all kind of stories about things happening to her either with creepy guys which made her sad or guys she confronted heroically. And I kind of bonded with her initially because of those stories when we started going out, because she felt like a resolute girl with extremely bad luck. But I started paying attention and... oh boy. At some point she was claiming an extremely popular anecdote regarding a game was something she experienced personally... even though she never played the game.

She also had sudden meltdowns, which I attributed to adhd + ptsd... but they stopped abruptly once somebody else appeared or the situation didn't go the way she wanted. The only way I can describe it is she was playing different characters in front of different people, so she was the damaged girl in front of me but a charming girl in front of other... or viceversa. It was hard to tell what was happening but I was always tense around her because I was always having to deal with whatever new random thing was going to happen.

The worst thing is after the breakup, I couldn't take it anymore, I was throwing some garbage and I found a diary of her mentioning me... and it was horrid (yes, I shouldn't have read it but at that point I was desperate to understand what the hell happened). Within the same day she told me she would give anything to me (an extreme lie, I was always the one sacrificing everything) she was writing how she didn't love me and she was actually in love with someone else... but she wasn't in love with the person just with the character than person roleplayed. Even for a diary it felt... fake? Like she was writing a character and not really expressing herself.

I don't think I ever knew her and I don't think anybody will ever know her, probably not even herself

Hi, I need some advice. I’m a 21 year old individual with BPD and I am attached to this guy with HPD(22). He was really sweet to me and we talked for a bit. He knows I’m attached to him, and he says he is attached to me as well. But, all of the sudden he started ignoring me. For two weeks. It has been causing me to split and it is ruining my mental health. But I don’t want to give up this quickly despite my friends saying I should. I don’t move on fast, it is extremely difficult to nearly impossible. He has the time to talk to me, I see him doing other things. But yet, he is ignoring me. Do people with HPD self sabotage? Is that why he isn’t saying anything? Am I doing something wrong? I don’t know what I did. Can you please give me some advice on what to do and why he is doing this to me. I want to know. I really miss him and I don’t want to leave him, so any advice would be great. Please and thank you.

Since you're on this subreddit, you're likely self-aware enough to see how HPD affects your life and your relationships, and how you treat people around you and how they treat you. Often it affects it in negative ways, it's really easy to fuck up

So, in what ways are you trying to mitigate all this?

I'm definitely noticing a pattern with the people I am attracted to and vice versa and I just did a quick google search and yeah, we (people with HPD/cluster B) do tend to enjoy the company of narcissistic people. And honestly I am fine with it. It's just sort of interesting when I notice specific things that people I'm attracted to do and say, I definitely have a type.

I've seen many YouTube videos explaining what it is, but majority of them say that in ever scenario someone with the condition ALWAYS want to be the center of attention, how true is that because I fear my wife has this condition and if she does I'm trying to find ways to explain it to her without triggering her. The thing that throws me off is the absolute framing.