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u/OkTemperature8080 1d ago
Of all the things that never happened, this one happened the least
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u/Resident-Cattle9427 22h ago
*Second least.
Give it 24 hours, and someone will be like “there I was at the gym, curling 245 while squatting 650 and some random guy (turned out to be Ryan Gosling) said you are the reason I came here today.”
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u/learngladly 1d ago edited 1d ago
"A dude walked up to me this morning at the gym. Big guy, you know, gym guy, from central casting, literally the biggest, roughest, toughest looking guy in the gym, and he walks up to me, and he's built like a London Broil steak on legs, no fat anywhere near him, too scared to be near him, hard, he's got on one of those tight old muscle tanks drenched with sweat, his arm muscles are swollen as big as Easter hams, you know how they look, and out of everyone else he walks straight up to me, and he says: 'Sir, whatever you're dealing with for all of us, it's going to be okay. I had a lot more bad stuff to deal with when that sleepy loser was president, but you've already taken a lot of that bad stuff off of my back and every other good American's back, and that's why we voted for you, sir, so please keep up the fight and I believe God is with you.' Did I say he was a big, super-strong guy? Well, before he was halfway through he was already crying, tears running down his cheeks, and finally he said, such a tough, powerful-looking guy: 'Sir, I didn't mean to cry and I never cry, but talking to you and knowing all you've sacrificed for us, I just broke down, now I gotta go wash up before my client gets here, but Mr. Trump, Mr. President, anytime I can help you, with these muscles of mine, I'll be there at your side -- thank you, sir.' And he went away again, this huge weightlifter guy, so gigantic and tough that nobody's ever seen anything like it, but I'm glad he said it to me."
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u/hector_does_go_rug 1d ago
And then the dumbbells clapped. The silent kid in the corner? His name's Einstein.
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u/Detroit-1337 1d ago
I’ll tell you what I’m not doing today. Making up nonsense trash for LinkedIn validation that is just a half step away of screaming for help.
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u/mindsetoniverdrive 20h ago
I am unreasonably annoyed when y’all cut off these people’s identities. I want to know what they’re billing themself as.
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u/NoelChompsky 1d ago
Whatever you're dealing with, it's going to be ok :) But live now! Because tomorrow you don't know what's going to happen :|
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u/Crepuscular_Tex 23h ago
On second glance, it's rather stalkerish...
It either never happened
OR
Get a new gym immediately
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u/youthzero 1d ago
When you’re open to work and want to make some shit up.
At the end of the day, made up gym stories, will drive B2B sales.
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u/CoffinHenry- 23h ago
I will spartan kick the first person who tries this to me at the gym so help me Sagan.
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u/Main-Literature-8442 16h ago
Did he really need to repeat that he was "at the gym" in the second sentence immediately after he says "at the gym" in the first? Remember—he was at the gym where this (never) happened.
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u/_Primal_Scream_ 4h ago
Linked-in has become Facebook, where everyone advertises what they want people to believe about them, while simultaneously lying to themselves.
We are all so full of absolute Shit! And we are compelled to share that shit for the likes.
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u/GreginSA 1d ago
Him: “Hey cmon lady you been on the machine forever! People are waiting!”
Her: “Preach brother!”
Him: “I need the machine too!”
Her: “Dear LinkedIn fam….”