So me and my boyfriend met in person, but had to move for family reasons, we've been together for over a year and i've fallen asleep countless times on the phone with him. I always just assumed he would hang up, but yesterday i decided to pretend fall asleep and i heard him talking to me about how much he loved me for like 4 minutes!! Do your partners do anything like this?

I used to post here in the very early days of our relationship. I've noticed more recently this sub has become a place of breakups and just pretty sad. I thought I'd pop in and update everyone. We started our LDR in 2017, moved in together 2019. We applied for our partner visa in October 2023, married November 2023. Our daughter was born March 2024 and our spouse visa was approved just last week. Long distance CAN work. ❤️

Me and my girlfriend broke up this morning and i don't know how to cope with it, we've been dating for a while and i don't think i can move on, she was my first real long distance girlfriend and i loved her to bits, i still do... our relationship was good until she told me she had to take time away from our relationship to study on her upcoming exam that was supposedly one of the hardest tests in her country, although it was a bitter pill i knew i wanted best for her so i endured it, but i didn't realize until much more recently how much i was hurting myself(mentally) in the process, i started blindly trying to continue the way we were when we first started dating and i started noticing that she was getting drier and drier with her responses and when she responded, minimum was within the hour. We also used to call a lot which carried our relationship, we maybe did more than we were supposed but that eventually stopped, although i wanted to continue she just couldn't find the time. I'm not angry at her or anything like that, i'm just so pissed at the timing that consumed our once bright relationship, towards the end i started noticing her distancing her self from me, i do get jealous and self conscious but i never get insecure, i never assume the worst about what she is doing or if she isn't responding i don't assume she is in someone else's arms but i do tend to notice the little things, it was only this morning in when i told her and told her that sometimes she hurts me she finally broke her silence and told me that mavbe the timina isn't riaht and that she hurts me she finally broke her silence and told me that maybe the timing isn't right and that she might not be the right person for me, i wanted to protest, i wanted to change her mind but something told me that maybe this might be a smarter option than hoping blindly to go back to the way we were, so we broke up..., I love her and i still do im worried she might never love me back but i have to accept it. (sorry this is long this rant is the only thing keeping me from crying). To xxxxx і love her i always will, i will always hold out for you i promise, i know i can't have you now, but if i have the option to start over i promise we can, or maybe in another universe my love😔. Thanks if you read it all.

My girlfriend 23 and I 24M have been together for almost two years and have been long distance throughout the school months because we go to unis 6hrs apart. We have been able to be back in our hometown together the past month so we’ve been together almost everyday. Everything has been great and we rarely argue. This morning I saw a message on her phone from an unsaved number and weve always had free access to eachother’s phones in person and casually let eachother know if we missed a call or text. When I saw the message I thought it was a weird text so I opened the message thread and found shes been texting her ex for two days with a 20min phone call yesterday.

I asked her about it and she started apologizing and said she has nothing to hide and he texted her off of a new number (I know for a fact she has had him blocked since they broke up 3 years ago and they never kept in contact). She said she told him she doesnt have romantic feelings for him anymore on the phone call and thats why he said he was sad. She said he said just got a new phone and thats why that number wasnt blocked but she knew it was him because of the area code. (we werent together in person yesterday when he called her)

I am completely blindsided and I dont know how to go about this. Her and this ex broke up because she said they were both toxic back then but they ended on good terms and she just blocked him to forget about it all. He is in the military and in a different country than us. I dont know what to do, we’ve never had any issues like this at all before

It was in early December. I wrote a couple of depressive posts on Reddit, not hoping for support, but rather with the goal of saying something, and one person responded to my posts. He wrote me a private message and we started chatting. It's funny, but on the second day of our conversation I already confessed my feelings, which he accepted. We communicate every day. He has mental illnesses, I have the same (BPD), which makes it difficult to have a dialogue sometimes, since almost every day one of us feels bad (usually both at once), but we are still together. I am in the far east of Russia, he is in Germany, there are a little more than 8,200 kilometers between us. Most often, it is difficult for us to understand each other, since I am bad at English, but despite this, we communicate on Discord every day. If something is too difficult for us to say, we record a voice message in our native language and translate it. The time difference is also very noticeable, before it was 9 hours, now it is 8. My sleep schedule is very disrupted because of this, but I am happy with it. Our calls usually last 10-11 hours, and I love it. He is the sweetest and most handsome person in the world, I really love listening to his voice, I love joking with him about different topics, I love his creativity! (He plays the guitar and other musical instruments very well, he can also draw). I also love to draw, and I often dedicate my drawings to our relationship, I am very happy that he likes my drawings. He is my biggest fan. At the end of August I am going to study in China, we agreed to meet in September, because he will have a day off, and my birthday is in September. I really hope that everything will work out, and I will be able to hug him. He is the most precious person in the world to me:3

we’ve been together 2 years.. been in the same country on and off but currently living apart due to lack of visa, but we are very serious and generally have a very healthy and positive relationship and good communication, plans to see each other in a couple months and desire to live together long term once we sort out the legal side of things. i’ve never had any reason not to trust him. we both like to party, go out dancing with friends and i have no issue with him doing that. 2 days ago he told me that he’s been having issues lately when he goes out there’s always at least one girl that tries to flirt/dance with him and nothing has ever happened but he feels temptations because we are apart and lacking physical intimacy. until this weekend, he kissed someone (a stranger) in a club (while visiting a friend in another big city, so also not anyone he’s likely to run into again). he told me about it the next morning and was visibly afraid of my reaction.. extremely sorry and says he regrets it, it will never happen again etc. but i don’t even feel jealous honestly i just feel so disrespected and angry, hurt, annoyed. it doesn’t feel like necessarily something to end the relationship over, i feel so committed to him but at the same time i just feel so disgusted by his actions/disregard of our commitment and i don’t really know how to move forward currently. i don’t think us being LDR is any kind of valid excuse, though i do understand that it’s a contributing factor. I have never even come close to doing anything like that with someone else. I wouldn’t even entertain someone flirting w me to get to that point (???). i haven’t felt like talking about it with my friends yet, i think i will soon but i needed to vent somewhere.

My (39F) boyfriend (34M) broke up with me last night due to the distance. We live in a state over from each other (8 hour drive, 2 hour flight) and have been seriously dating for 9 months. We were currently seeing each other 1-2x a month over the weekends (every other weekend when possible but sometimes only one weekend a month). Everything was honestly doing perfectly, we are so compatible.

The main (only) barrier to anything is that I have two small children (4 and 6) and have a custody arrangement with my ex husband (we share 50/50), so I obviously cannot move from the state. In fairness to my (now ex) boyfriend, he did tell me at the very beginning of our relationship that he would not want to move to where I live. We were so early into dating that I didn't really think of the implications of that because who does think about those type of future plans when you just start dating.

We sat on facetime last night for three hours and just cried to each other. I am so fucking gutted it hurts to breathe.

I know there’s been a lot of negativity on this subreddit lately but I have to get this off my chest. My bf (24M) and I (20F) have been dating for nine months. Things were wonderful up until now. The other night was our nine month anniversary. He said he’d call me at 9:30pm, and did not proceed to do so until 11:30pm. The entirety of our call, he was venting to me about what’s been going on at work, but he didn’t let me talk about my day either. He didn’t wish me happy anniversary until 1am of the next day, before proceeding to fall asleep before my very eyes on the phone. Lately I haven’t felt like his priority, and I made sure he knew that. But he keeps pinning it back on me and questioning me feeling this way even though I tell him exactly why. We used to plan and have dates all the time, especially for our anniversaries. But those don’t happen anymore, unless I’m the one to bring it up, ask when our next one is or plan it, etc. Not to mention that whenever I present him with confrontation, of any kind, instead of wanting to apologize and work out what can be done to fix it, he completely shuts down, sulks and starts self deprecating, saying things like “I’m not good enough” “you deserve better” and “you should leave me.” I was trying to let it slide until now.

Tonight I made a gut-wrenching discovery that he’s been leaving very flirtatious comments on several girls’ posts. I’m talking calling them beautiful, darling, etc. I’ve talked to him in the past before about seeing things like this and that it bothered me, to which he apologized but now it looks like he’s made no change, as his excuse is constantly that these girls are his friends. From my knowledge, you do not talk to your friends like that, more or less ‘friends’ you don’t know in person and appear to be random women on the internet. Especially one in particular whose comments are very romantic back to him, and he’s even reposted her pics on his story before. Not once has he EVER posted me.

I’m currently confronting him about it and letting him know how angry I am, especially since this isn’t the first time I’ve told him that it hurts me. He’s spamming my phone, trying to call me, and pinning it back on me but also trying to tell me he loves me and only me. I just don’t know if I can believe him anymore after the damage has already been done. I don’t want to let him go because of how long we’ve been together, but I think I’m at my witt’s end.

My boyfriend (20m) and I (18f) have been dating since September of 2023 and have never met. We talk everyday and have over 7k km distance between us . I am overjoyed but I am so very nervous… I’m excited to meet my lovely boy on Thursday but I’m so scared of things being awkward and not as I imagined.

I live in Sweden and he lives in Dubai.

These are a few of my favorites, and I noticed they’re mostly ones where we’re laughing. It’s been a long road. We closed the gap about 1.5yrs ago and the road is still going. I know it’s hard. If it’s real, you’ll know, and it’ll make it all worthwhile. It’s started here. 🖤

I’m F 20 To people who are in serious relationship who think of marriage, how do you feel assured of marriage or future commitments? Is it important for you that your significant other’s parents or at least mom knows about you if they tell you they want to marry you?

I’m really want to know different perspectives. I’m a person who got trust issues.

So i want to know what are the things that make you feel assured of future with your significant other. Since there are guys and girls out there who will tell you they wana marry n all but not really having that intention?

TLDR: asking for opinions since i want to know different perspectives

Hi everyone!

I'm not sure if I'm able to ask a question like this on the sub but here goes nothing.

Me (Canada) and my partner (USA) have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years now. We have been able to visit each other only once due to personal life issues preventing us to see each other more often.

She and I have been looking into the citizenship process in both of our countries but everything just feels so overwhelming and it's been very difficult to get the answers to our questions, where to start, which documents we'd need for the process, etc.

We were also wondering which citizenship would be easier to get so we can start there first, Canadian or USA.

I would love to have feedback, advice or stories on how some people here who are in a similar situation with countries and citizenship with how they made everything work.

This means the world to me, I am desperate for answers

Thank you!

I’ve been talking to a guy on and off since December and we have a great connection. We can talk for hours all day long.

However he has a couple of red flags and some changes in his behavior/communication that my gut and intuition tells me is just off and that’s what is stopping me from proceeding with the relationship.

I have been cheated on in my last relationship so I wonder is it just baggage and insecurity from that?

I think there is some baggage… but I also just trust my intuition really well and I know that something is off, even if I don’t know the complete story (and I never will because it’s Long Distance).

Whenever I bring up my concerns to him, he always brushes it off as me and my baggage from my divorce and I end up feeling bad or crazy like I’m overthinking it.

I don’t wanna list all of the red flags, there’s too many. But it’s just a bunch of little small things that add up into this big picture that he might be a little too insecure, too sexual, and too promiscuous for me and I just have trouble trusting someone like that in a long distance relationship.

I actually never do long distance, we kinda just started chatting on a dating app accidentally and here we are.

Can you guys share some LDR stories and how your gut/intuition played a part in it?

[27F] [25M] he claims he doesn't look at his explore page only his reel tab. when I clicked on his explore page right away there was 3 girls dancing in their bra and underwear with their boobs and butt bouncing. i'm really sad upon finding out and he claims he doesn't look and gets upset at me saying I don't trust him. he keeps telling me to trust him and but it's been a slippery slope. we've definitely been working on this and he gave me his instagram password and everything because he claimed he had nothing to hide. once i saw his explore page i definitely questioned him a ton. he felt uncomfortable and decided to change his password back. he tells me i'm making him feel uncomfortable asking questions to which he gives "i don't know" "i don't remember" answers. i told him i want to be with him and work out and he said he needs time to think, he hates having to reassure me a lot which is something I told him i'm trying my best to work on. he told me it doesn't matter as I will still need reassurance. what do you guys think?

Hello, I have a partner thats on adhd medications. Theres been this issue we've had for a couple months. The days they dont have their meds, be it 3 or 5 days, They'll just sleep, besides waking up to eat, after that its right back to bed.

They've been medicated for about 10 years. They don't work or anything, on meds they're just at home playing games. They run out of meds because they take double sometimes and other times the delivery dates were mixed up or medication shortage.

Currently we haven't dont anything for the past...5 days? Just a couple conversations here and there before they fall back asleep.

I told them that, it bothers me that we dont do anything, not even a movie. They said they always want to do things with me, and I prettt much told them "Yet everytime off your meds we do nothing" It's been about...2 days since that convo and we have yet to do anything. I am understanding to their situation but...it feels like they have to be medicated to have a relationship with me after they said "I try to not let this (not having meds) happen.". I don't know. I know its bad to compare past to now, but in the past they would try to watch a movie or even stream a couple videos. :(

tldr: Partner sleeps off their meds for days says they want to do stuff but we never do, its been going on for months. I'm tired of being alone for 3-5 days

edit: added why they run out.

Im a female and I'd love to have someone to chat with (Be a female too if possible). Thanks

:(

For context she does have ptsd and has autism.

She asked me if I find other women attractive, and I said in a nutshell that I know what the media throws out to be attractive but I don’t find anyone but you attractive

She is really pissed and said that I should have ‘no, I can’t think of anyone else but you’. She’s right, I should have. At the time I didn’t because I didn’t think she would believe me. She said I asked you an innocent question and you’re thinking about whether or not other women are conventionally attractive.

I should have made her feel like an absolute queen above everyone else and I failed at that.

She lost all respect for me, views me as scum and beneath her. She believes I put up a facade of being obsessed with her (I am truly crazy in love with her).

She wants nothing to do with me and said she’ll never trust me ever again.

I know I answered her question wrong and while I was apologising she insulted me heavily. Saying I’m a degenerate, how she forced herself to find my attractive, etc. And I know this is her pain talking but I want her to forgive me.

Prior to this, she’d say how I make her feel so loved even though I’m so far away. I buy her flowers, expensive gifts for her and her kids, very understanding of her autism and try make everything convenient for her. She’s the love of my life and I made her upset.

Please guys, if you have any advice it’ll be much appreciated.

I’ve made her upset over the times I’ve known her and she always get really angry. But I’m scared if this is the last time.

Ive been in a LDR for a few years now We spend holidays and vacations together, have both visited and spent much time together. This is also someone I've known for a huge part of my life however only romantically the passed few years. We always planned to close the gap as soon as we could but then things changed and the gap got bigger as she moved farther for work to a different city. I visited but I don't really like this new city as much. I have a good job with benefits, pension, and much security in my current city. I have worked hard to get to my current place. I have tried for a long time to find similar in her new city but unfortunately it didn't go smoothly. Finally have something lined up but it's really not appealing financially however we would still be fine. Unfortunately there is nothing she can do to move to my city. I really love her and want to be with her but I have spent many years in my life poor and barely surviving. Part of me is terrified this is a terrible idea and I'm just blinded by the relationship. I wish I knew if I was making a massive mistake or not. I'm worried about being full of resentment shortly after I get there. I'm trying to be positive and hopeful but damn. Can anyone relate? Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated.

So it’s been weeks since we have called each other and he hasn’t mentioning calling me. The only time he did mention calling me was to sext and for me to show my body which was last week but I had to decline him because it just felt wrong how he hadn’t called me in weeks but wanted to call for sexting. And it’s also been weeks since we have watched a show together and he hasn’t suggested anything. Today he asked me what I’m doing I told him I’m just relaxing and he tells me he’s just been watching shows… like the fact that we are both home doing nothing means we could of spend time together either calling or watching a show like the old times. I just feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore. Like I know it’s been 6 months since we have seen each other but that’s entirely his fault because I’ve been wanting to see him. We then decided on seeing each other for our 1 year anniversary in June and he told me he would come to visit me. But then when I ask him to book he says he has to check with his uni schedule to make sure he has no exams but it’s like I’m not going to wait forever. It’s crazy how I’m always bringing up planning our next visit and he’s not. Like do you think he has lost interest? Like why does he not wanna spend time with me doing anything anymore? This is truly breaking my heart because I miss spending time with him and I also wish he brought up planning our next visit which is going to be probably in 2 months… and that would make it 8 months since we haven’t see each other. Everyday for me is so hard because all I want is to see him but I’m starting to feel like that’s not the case for him…

I’d love some advice, or comments about my situation - anything would help really.

Me and my boyfriend met earlier this year when he had come to my country for a 2 month project. We initially didn’t expect anything to come out of it and expected it to be something casual, but feelings grew and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

We have a 12 hour time difference and I’ve noticed how much of my schedule and time I’ve adjusted just so I can talk to him, and how I feel disappointed when he doesn’t do the same. Compared to him, I am much more of a planner and anxious. He is much more relaxed and laid back. Having said that though, when I bring up any insecurities or concerns that I have, he is very understanding and accommodating with his words.

I’ve found that because of my past relationship (which was a lot of abuse and insecurity), I’ve become relatively anxious when it comes to dating and having a boyfriend. Usually, I only date for fun or for company with nothing serious in mind, but when I met him I really connected with him and I thought giving long distance a shot was worth it.

Since we only dated two months in person, the relationship is relatively fresh and I think it may be too soon to have any conversations about what our long game plan is. I will be visiting his country this summer for a program and seeing him and that’s when I plan to communicate this with him.

We just found it to be such a coincidence that the program I applied for placed me in a city that’s no more than an hour ride from where he lives. It feels kind of like fate that we got to know each other and fall in love while he was here, and that now it’s my turn to see what his life is like when I visit him.

However after my trip, I’m not sure when the next time I’ll be able to see him is. We’re both in college which makes planning things for the future quite difficult. Given my anxious nature, i’ve noticed I become quite insecure when he doesn’t respond or when I know he’s out drinking. Flights are super expensive for us to be travelling regularly.

I don’t worry about him cheating or anything like that, but I do worry that us becoming long distance was more of a in the moment decision when he was in my country because of how strongly our feelings grew for each other. I’m unsure how to communicate this without hurting his feelings or what exactly would give me more assurance.

I don’t want to come off as crazy or overwhelming but I’m wondering if long distance might not be suitable for me. I love him very much, but I think because he knows I’m going there this summer he’s been relatively relaxed about what the future of a long distance relationship means for us.

I've been going through a very tough time and actually would love to have someone to talk with. Please message me and dont be a creep lol.

what’s most difficult for me rn is starting up convos with her in the morning. like I really just wanna tell her “I could hear you talk about yourself all day” but, yeah, how do I do that a little bit more subtly 😭

I (26F) am having a challenging time figuring out if I am overreacting or not. My BF (28M) and I have been dating for a little over a year now and we’ve been long distance the entire time (first only a state away, but now halfway across the country from each other). The last relationship I had was in middle school (if that even counts lol), so this is the first relationship I’ve had as an adult.

At first we texted every day. Then it slowly turned into once a week. We’re both fairly busy people, so calls usually ended up being weekly. It’s been this way for the past year or so.

Well, it turned out this Valentine’s Day BF did not text me. I was extremely upset and hurt. We had a whole conversation about communication, and he did better for about a month, but he’s back on old habits. I often feel like I am not a priority in his day. He claims I am the only person he ever really texts and he isn’t used to texting, but I find that a bit hard to believe. I do trust him and I do not believe he has any ill intentions.

There are other things at play that make me question the relationship, but I am not sure if it’s because we’re long distance and always have been. So, am I overreacting for wanting more communication?