Omg, I have a Doug! My next door neighbor is also an older man named Doug and he is the absolute best neighbor we could have ever asked for!
When we first moved in, our girls were very little and one of the first things he asked me was what time they napped so he could make sure not to mow or do anything loud outside during that time. He continues to be just this amazing, four years later.
Truly, everyone needs a Doug, and to be a Doug! š¤
I donāt have a Doug I have a bunch of rednecks who cuss a lot, put trashed out cars on their property and then shoot guns all the time without caring where they aim and they are the worst neighbors ever.
I wish, they moved in like a decade ago my house is the second ever built here was still a dirt road out in the country back then was built before I was born in like 1973. Pretty crazy how much itās been developed
When I was a small child and poor we moved into social housing and the neighbours were elderly, probably only early 60's back then and within a few weeks of moving in it was Halloween and they gave me and older sibling a bag with sweets, nuts, and some cash, the guy loved fishing so he kept bringing us what he caught, rainbow trout was most common honestly saved us as parents were so poor at time that even having breakfast cereal would be a luxury, when older sibling had an accident he drove him to hospital.
My current neighbours in their 80's though are sadly toxic people they are nosy, comment on things like lawn if it's not cut every few days in warmer months, if I don't open all my curtains as it makes the street look worse etc.
My dad died about 19y ago when I was 20. A few years later my mom started a widows party through her church for people who lost their spouse. About every 6 weeks, we have a little themed get-together on a late Saturday morning with food, drinks, dessert, and games. Sometimes we sit and tell stories and reminisce, as most of them are over 50. We've been doing it nearly 15 years now. It's a great way to get them out of the house for a fun time.
Then I met the first man I wanted to marry when I was 28 and he unexpectedly passed away when I was 32. I had found the ring when he died. Now I'm somewhat an honorary member. In fact, the next party is this coming Saturday.
When you kept saying we in the first paragraph, I was afraid you were going to share the same thing you mentioned in the second paragraph. So sorry for your loss. Your mom is amazing for trying to help folks in the way she does.
We don't like to get "new members" because it means they're hurting from a recent loss. Most of them never remarry. But we love welcoming them. The flip side is that we've also seen many of our sweet member pass on themselves. So it's a bittersweet trade off but worth every moment. And thank you for saying that āļø
I'm so sorry for your losses and hope the group get-together brings comfort and joy to your lives. I can relate, my boyfriend passed away 18 years ago (fuck cancer) and I've stayed in touch with his family over the years. His dad passed last year (fuck dementia). I visit his mom and brothers for dinner almost every week -- we share fun healthy foods and conversations and reminiscing -- today's our weekly visit and I can't wait to bring some pitas and dip and see them.
I feel for you, sister, and your story makes me feel privileged. Dad lived to 69 and Mom just died last August, at 89. Keep up your socializing. Youāre helping more than yourself.
I lost my first husband at 40 and my second husband at 60. I think what your Mom created is beautiful. I moved recently to a different state and am new at my Church.
I should see if they have something for widows or ask if I could start something similar. I keep my husbandās pictures close.
Lol. I'm happily on my way to being a Doug. I'm only 36, but my wife makes fun of me because I talk to all our neighbors. I like to bake more than I can eat, so I started leaving fresh loaves of bread in my neighbors front yard food pantry last year. We're sure I'm going to have the cops called on me at some point because I'll just stop and watch the kids play soccer on the field across the street and cheer them on
I'm sure a few will, perhaps not everybody. But I hope people see it's at least worthwhile and important to support the Doug's and Ted's in our lives. Go to their parties! Bring treats, a smile, and an open heart! You can't lose
I went all out for a Halloween party and I invited a ton of people like a month in advance. No one showed. That was like 15 years ago and it still hurts.
Im sorry, my friend. My 4th was rough, too. My wife decided to divorce me. Well, I don't know when she decided but she told me on July 4th. It broke my heart, too. But life goes on for us both.
Good luck to you! I hope that your next 4th of July party is one of legend!
Actually, quite an astute observation. You are totally correct. Everyone wants the benefits of having such a person in their lives but no one wants to try and become that kind of person for others. Selfish really.
Do you really think it takes no effort to be like that (other than him just acting like himself)? I think it takes TONS of effort to be Doug in today's world.
Thatās entirely untrue. Most people have a little bit of that in them already and it shows. Life is basically just everyone operating in morally grey areas half the time. Even Ted Lassoās have selfish and myopic viewpoints. Nobody is just āthis or thatā.
To be like that in a world that feels incredibly cynical, that can tear you up in so many ways, it takes a lot of courage and likely a lot of parental investment. Sadly most people don't get that.
It takes a lot to put yourself out there like that so not everybody is able to do it themselves but will respond well if some brave people reach out to them.
Watch the update from OP. Thousands joined in, following Doug's lead by throwing their own Doug's Winter Party around the country and even in Canada. Oh ye of little faith!
I believe in this and I try. Though some people are naturally like this and others have to make the effort. Iām one of the latter, and I feel myself falling short lately. I have to keep remembering my why.
How you know that? You seem kinda bummed out my friend if you wanna chat DM me I hope you feel better about people soon. I think all we can do is try. Itās hard though, I understand. Have a good day I genuinely mean it.
I try to be like Doug. I really do. I'm just an almost thirty three year old nightshift patient care technician trying to make people smile in their hardest moments. ( I work on ICU. )
People are socially broken nowadays. Being a Doug is out of the question. Maybe try answering the door or waving to Doug as you drive by.
This could easily be some post about, My boomer neighbor invited me to his birthday party. I've talked to one time, why would he think I would want to go to his house, my anxiety can't handle this. I bet he voted for Drumph.
I can try to be the best version of myself, and Iām sure some people find me - I dunno - quirky? Nice? Sweet? Interesting to talk to if you happen to have some of the same interests as me. But Iām never gonna have Ted Lasso charm.
I try to. My partner and I have both decided we need to make kindness an actual daily effort, and you know what? It makes us happier too. It's a cliche, but you have to be the change š¤
your right, we should all try and spread a little kindness in the world, and then maybe things will get better, and people will see that "life is not a pointless thing, its a gift, and we should cherish that gift, and share it with others."
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u/fadedwiggles Feb 19 '25
i need a doug. the pic of his wife was absolutely precious!