r/MadeMeSmile • u/bendubberley_ • 16d ago

Wholesome Moments Autistic non-verbal boy speaks directly to his mother for the first time.

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u/shitboxfesty 16d ago

As a parent of a nonverbal child, this absolutely blows my mind. And gives me hope. I’d be getting a new tattoo that says good morning

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u/Barabaragaki 16d ago

The kid in the video is pretty big! I guess mom and everyone must have been continuing to just speak to him for years and years before this happened. These things always vary wildly from person to person, but don't lose heart! <3

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u/Evendim 16d ago

My grandfather was non verbal until he was 7.

There has never been any indication that he was on the spectrum, but once he started talking he became very well spoken, and almost dictatorial with how we spoke as children. Don't get me wrong, I loved this man with every part of my being, and he is the reason I am now an English teacher, but god dammit Doug, we can we please use the word "got"?

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u/Dboy777 16d ago

The man learned some real shit before he started speaking. 'Got' is a yucky word with many better substitutes.

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u/Evendim 16d ago edited 16d ago

He was an incredibly observant man.

You're right, there is no need for the word got in nearly every example. I laugh about it with my own students and they try to stump me, but not once have they managed to find a context where it cannot be replaced with a better word.

It is "common" as he would have said. Coming from an Australian Electrician, that is kind of funny.

Oh and he would have swatted you across the head for your (American) spelling of "learnt". ;)

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u/o7_HiBye_o7 16d ago

I had an 8th grade reading teacher that was super awesome. Was the first to treat us as people and not kids. He let us eat/drink or even curse (respectfully) on papers and while Q+A parts happened. He had 3 rules.

1) If you get caught with food/drink/cursing, yoi were on your own and he didn't see/hear it.

2) never say "god damn" was religious, but respectful

3) never use the word "very"

He legit hated that word and I forgot until your story of the word "got". I never thought of it being a useless word. Unsure how often I use it day to day.

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u/NBAFansAre2Ply 16d ago

I had a science teacher who taught us technical writing. he said to never use the word "it". For example, if you handed in a lab report and your observations said: "When I added the baking soda to the vinegar, it began to bubble" he'd mark me down and say "what began to bubble? the vinegar? the baking soda? the mixture? the flask? the table?

frustrating at the time but definitely helped me develop into a very clear and precise writer and get my B.Sc later down the road.

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u/Evendim 16d ago

I wonder where he obtained (didn't use the word got there) his hatred of the word "very"? I am intrigued!

You will absolutely notice it now, and you can always think of another word.

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u/TinyRascalSaurus 16d ago

I had a high school teacher like that. He wanted us to try using the words we read in conversation, not rely on simple broad terms from childhood. It was coming from a good place of generally wanting to improve our vocabulary so we'd have better prospects in life.

This was at a school just outside the hood where a lot of kids didn't graduate because they went to prison when they were 18. He wanted to break that cycle so badly and give us whatever he could to succeed. He noticed I was poor but an avid and very advanced reader and bought me books with his own money that were more on my level than what the school library offered. He was truly a great guy.

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u/xtremebox 16d ago

I hope you do him proud TinyRascal. I guarantee he still remembers you

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u/dancesquared 16d ago

“Very” is vague and overused.

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u/Larry-Man 16d ago

Thank you very much. It’s very interesting how very unhelpful the word is.

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u/dancesquared 16d ago

You’re very welcome. I’m very pleased you found my comment very useful.

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u/Dboy777 16d ago

Love all this, from one Australian English teacher to another!

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u/Evendim 16d ago edited 16d ago

Hahaha hell yeah! :)

Don't worry, I wont tell on you for using the simplified version of English. Most people do. I have held onto my grandfather's archaic ways. Including gaol. I love confusing kids with that one :)

Oh and my lord, if he ever heard me say the letter H as anything other than Aitch, I would have been disowned.

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u/Dboy777 16d ago

Amen. 'Haytch' makes me puke a little in my mouth.

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u/Evendim 16d ago

One of my great joys in life is when I get questioned on it in the classroom, and the justification for "haytch" is that it has to start with the sound of the letter. I always respond with "Oh, you mean like WoubleU?" ;)

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u/NeverEndingWhoreMe 16d ago

Random, but I once met a woman whose last name was "Aytch". I thought that was neat.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

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u/Evendim 16d ago edited 16d ago

No one said anything about a bigger word? Have is only 1 extra letter, and sounds a lot better. I am not talking thesaurus levels here.

"I've got" replaced with "I have" is neither more complicated, or masturbatory. Nor is it unfamiliar. In fact it removes the contraction and makes readability easier.

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u/timmytissue 16d ago

Got is one of the most versatile and grammatically interesting words in English imo.

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u/dancesquared 16d ago

Got is a great word. Here’s my favorite quote:

“I know I’m gonna get got, but I’m gonna get mine more than I get got.”

- Former NFL running back Marshawn Lynch (AKA Beast Mode)

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u/Particular-Phrase751 16d ago

You're a yucky word with many better substitutes.

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u/I-know-a-guy- 16d ago

“Got”= Yucky. Got it.

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u/MayorPirkIe 16d ago

"Got" is a fine word, what the hell nonsense is this? Just use it properly and there's nothing wrong with it.

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u/EmphasisLegal1411 16d ago

I’m autistic and I have the same expectations for my children 😆. People would often comment on how I spoke to my children when they were very young. “You talk to them like they are adults.” Or, “They aren’t going to understand you if you use those big words, they don’t know what it means” To which I would reply that I don’t know why I would speak to them any different and that they don’t know what ANY words mean currently as they are learning to speak. So I chose to use words of varying complexity but similar meaning because I would have to explain the meaning and context anyway. They both have above average vocabularies now, and while they speak to their friends within the tone and inflection that is popular today, they know that I cannot stand that and respect my wishes to speak a bit more eloquently 😆.

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u/Evendim 16d ago

Given the various levels of neurodivergence in our family, raging from incredibly intelligent to significant impairment, I wouldn't be surprised if he was on the spectrum. Diagnosis certainly wasn't a thing, even when he passed away when I was 17.

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u/Deathmckilly 16d ago

Your grandfather reminds me of a joke I heard on the show QI years back.

“A British couple decided to adopt a German baby. They raised him for years, however they began to get worried as he never spoke, and they believed he might be non-verbal, going so far as to take him to therapy, which was fruitless. Then, when the child was 8 years old he had a strudel and said ‘It is a little tepid.’

His parents, of course shocked that he was suddenly speaking, asked ‘Wolfgang, why have you never spoken before?’, to which the child replied ‘Up until now everything has been satisfactory.’”

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u/Evendim 16d ago

Hahahahaha! My grandfather would have been really tickled by that :)

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u/Major_Toe_6041 16d ago

At least it isn’t gotten.

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u/dancesquared 16d ago

I love gotten.

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u/Major_Toe_6041 16d ago

You are wrong.

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u/dancesquared 16d ago

It’s a nice Germanic touch in an overly Frenchified language.

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u/Major_Toe_6041 16d ago

It’s not a word in British English. It is only an acknowledged word in American English.

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u/dancesquared 16d ago edited 16d ago

It was a word in British English historically, but it fell out of favor. Now it’s growing in popularity in Britain once again.

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u/Major_Toe_6041 16d ago

Well it’s wrong regardless, British dictionaries don’t recognise it as a word. Just because younger Brits are speaking American English more due to social media doesn’t make the word correct.

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u/Brilliant_Effort_Guy 16d ago

My youngest brother rarely (almost never) spoke words until he was about 3. Then one morning he walked into the kitchen and said ‘time to make the donuts!’ My parents were flabbergasted lol. Hasn’t shut up since lol.

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u/TheTallEclecticWitch 16d ago

I remember reading a story of a non verbal child. She was like 4 or something when someone asked her, like she was still a baby, “can you say cat?”

And she (according to this story) snapped back “yes, I can, why do you ask?” The parent writing the story said she became a very well spoken girl after that moment.

It’s etched into my memory for some reason and I’m glad it is because I started teaching EFL to young kids and it helped me guide parents of young children through their worries a lot.

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u/MadFerIt 16d ago

I was non-verbal besides less than a handful of key words to all adults until I was 4, but I talked to my best friend / next-door neighbor when adults weren't around.. Until one day I shocked my mother by talking in complete coherent sentences (for a 4 year old at least).

No idea how I pulled that off or why.

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u/colonel_chanders 16d ago

What’s wrong with ‘got’

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u/Evendim 16d ago

It is mostly a redundant word. Not necessary.

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u/Chubbstock 16d ago

I guess mom and everyone must have been continuing to just speak to him for years and years before this happened

This is extremely important. When a child is non-verbal, or even delayed in communication, people just treat them like furniture, and it makes things so much worse.

My son has autism and is delayed in communication, he cant' answer questions very well at all, and doesn't really interact unless it's a very basic conversation. He is obsessed with the app Super Mario Run and I was looking at it on his tablet a few weeks ago and noticed he had tons of rally tickets and coins, and he was also repeatedly clearing his progress from the app. I was talking to my wife with him right there next to me about how I didn't know how he was getting so many tickets after deleting progress, hoping it wasn't being purchased, etc. I just kept saying "I have no idea how he's doing it."

He suddenly came over and sat down next to me and said "lookit, daddy" and walked me through this whole process with how he was redeeming free rewards and stuff. He showed me he knew exactly what I was saying even though he couldn't really tell me. I cried a lot.

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u/TealCatto 16d ago

That's such an amazing feeling to receive confirmation that our kids understand us, when it's not something we experience on a daily basis. I know exactly how that moment must've felt!

My daughter has Snijders Blok Campeau Syndrome, and speech disorder is one of the main symptoms. People with that disability have much better receptive language than expressive, so they get underestimated a LOT. I hear from her teachers how she sometimes has the best insights in the class and shocks them with her knowledge and observations. I guess it's normal to come to conclusions based on the facts that are presented (that a child's understanding is equal to their expression) but it's so important to talk to disabled kids at age level. When I bring her to activities where she's a new participant, and the staff there don't know her limitations yet, they talk to her like any other teenager. For example, they make requests like asking her to sign in (write the time by her name on the sheet) and she just DOES it, because she isn't expected NOT to.

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u/lonniemarie 16d ago

My baby brother was non verbal until he was almost eight years old -

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u/BoozyMcSuds 16d ago

That’s wild! When he finally started speaking was it at an 8 year old level? Your family must have been totally floored.

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u/lonniemarie 15d ago

Yes. As if he hadn’t missed a day of talking. At first he mostly only spoke to me and slowly started speaking to siblings and mom. He was upset about us moving and that’s the question he asked me. Where were we going and where was his special blanket? I had the blanket tucked in my bag he was happy about that

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u/Punkceoil117 16d ago

My son is 13 and semi verbal. Everyday I come home from work I get a "hi daddy" I ask him how school was and he just bounces off like this lil guy. What I would give just to have a 1 word answer from him, some day I'll get "good" and Mark my words I'll be a blubbering mess.

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u/weirdest_of_weird 16d ago

My friend has a non-verbal child. She's 7 or 8, idk her exact age, and a few weeks ago, she said "dada" for the first time. My buddy and I were bawling. I'm so freaking happy for them.

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u/catfurcoat 16d ago

They are listening even if they are not responding. Yes even if you tell them to do something and they don't even acknowledge you. They are listening and remembering the words. It's good for the brain to model language and model conversion

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u/whteverusayShmegma 16d ago

Did you ever see the video of the little girl recording her world around her and describing it while the mom thought she was non verbal? It had me in tears & I’m not an emotional person whatsoever. I was raised by two men and learned to cry in my late twenties. Lol

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u/BestNameICouldThink 16d ago

I searched but couldn't find it. if someone happen to I'd love to see it.

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u/sirjamesbluebeard 16d ago

If you’re into podcasts, I’d recommend The Telepathy Tapes. It tells stories of families with nonverbal children and how they’ve learned other methods of communication. It does get a little “woo-woo” for some people, but it’s really interesting.

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u/K12onReddit 16d ago

People really need to stop pushing this woo woo nonsense. The podcaster is a liar, straight up. It's disrespectful to other parents out there giving them false hope like this.

https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/critical-thinking-pseudoscience/telepathy-tapes-prove-we-all-want-believe

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u/nAsh_4042615 16d ago

Thanks for saving my time. An acquaintance recommended the podcast to me the other day after learning my partner’s child was recently diagnosed with Autism

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u/LotsaKwestions 16d ago

I would second that it may be worth your time, FWIW.

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u/SynapseForest 16d ago

It actually is worth your time. There are many problems with this hit piece article. Like I said above, it is either fascinating or a huge hoax. And I guarantee you will not come out of it thinking it is a hoax. If you have someone autistic in your life, I would consider this mandatory listening. You will hear from dozens of people who are in this world and face these challenges.

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u/nAsh_4042615 16d ago

To be fair, I don’t feel like the article accused the podcast of being a hoax (intentional misinformation), just poorly researched and lacking a critical eye.

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u/SynapseForest 16d ago

I agree. Just saying that either telepathy in this community is real or it is not. And for it not to be real, every person in the podcast would have to be lying severly. And lying about things most dear to them, like their students, children, or parents (spellers). Listen to the podcast and decide for yourself.

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u/SynapseForest 16d ago

I read the article. Unfortunately, discrediting Ky and Dr. Powell doesn't address the claims made in the podcast by parents, teachers, spelling facilitators, and the spellers themselves. It would have to be a massive disinformation campaign where everyone was paid off to lie about absolutely everything they said in the podcast. Do you really think that is what is going on? Also, the claim that touching a kids arm can direct entire sentences is bogus. As explained in the show, these kids cannot feel their bodies in space and need "grounding" to spell in many cases. The physical contact often progresses to just a hand on the shoulder.

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u/Beautiful-Fox-3950 16d ago

Hey I understand your skepticism, but please don't disregard everything in the telepathy tapes podcast. Sometimes seeing is believing with these kind of things, and if you are outside of that bubble it can seem like fiction. But there are some really fascinating things coming to light. 

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u/alidripdrop 16d ago

Or you can not encourage people to stay ignorant. If it’s a hoax let people figure it out for themselves. But I hope you realize that if it’s not a hoax, your words could mean their voices and all of the incredible things they could teach us won’t be heard by anyone you convince to dismiss it.

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u/ImJuanValJuan 16d ago

Agreed! I was a skeptic, but it was mind-blowing!

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u/sirjamesbluebeard 16d ago

Same! I sincerely hope they get enough funding to produce the documentary it was meant to be.

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u/batwork61 16d ago

How are you doing, my dear?