r/MurderedByWords • u/Bad-Umpire10 yeah, i'm that guy with 12 upvotes • Dec 09 '24

#2 Murder of Week 68,000 Americans

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125.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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572

u/Sygma160 Dec 09 '24

I'm team fugitive

366

u/drapehsnormak Dec 09 '24

I'm Team what happened, I didn't see anything.

111

u/Sygma160 Dec 09 '24

I mean, if Jake Gyllenhaal is going to take out healthcare execs, I'm cool with it.

58

u/Bubbly-Example-8097 Dec 09 '24

Is it Gyllenhall? I thought it was Timothee Chalamet?

40

u/scifijunkie3 Dec 09 '24

No. The heir of House Atreides would do it quietly with a crysknife.

14

u/PorkrindsMcSnacky Dec 09 '24

Honestly, I thought he looked more like Sasha Baron Cohen.

2

u/cheddarweather Dec 09 '24

It's Timothee Gyllenhall

21

u/SMUGGLYMcERRL Dec 09 '24

I could see him being cast for the movie adaptation.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '24

He does do a pretty good everyman. Gotta lose the muscle he's got now tho. I kinda miss skinny Jake Gyllanhall

2

u/JakeyJake3 Dec 09 '24

I definitely got nightcrawler vibe and I was cool with it.

2

u/Imesseduponmyname Dec 12 '24

That was clearly Dave Franco

2

u/joec_95123 Dec 09 '24

Remember, if you see someone gun down an insurance company executive, no you didn't.

2

u/Mahakurotsuchi Dec 10 '24

In fact I'm blind on this eye

1

u/Ambitious_Sweet_6439 Dec 09 '24

I'm team "let everyone know who did it and give the man a presidential pardon and parade... And promise one to anyone else who pops a healthcare / insurance / oil / (insert other douchenozzles here) ceo"

Anything the president does is legal, right? He can't dismantle healthcare using Congress, but he can pardon anyone he wants. Not saying this numbnuts would, but it would be the perfect FU... And he is all about that.

Open season - 'purge' style. Let those fuck nuts enjoy their millions cowering in a cave for the rest of their lives terrified to show their face in public.

62

u/Soatch Dec 09 '24

His claim for my condolences has been denied.

17

u/eddie_the_zombie Dec 09 '24

Sorry, it's out of network

1

u/AJChelett Dec 09 '24

Death is a preexisting condition

3

u/CaptainMiserable Dec 09 '24

It was self defense against his insurance provider.

1

u/Local_Nerve901 Dec 09 '24

Ok still would you say “im glad your dad died” to his kids?

What if someone said they were glad you died to your kids or parents?

And then blasted it all over social media

Fuck this world everyone in the wrong, very few if any actually good people left here

1

u/Sygma160 Dec 10 '24

I don't care at all.

1

u/Local_Nerve901 Dec 11 '24

At least your an honest ah

1

u/YesIAmIndeedCorrect Dec 10 '24

He killed thousands of americans, his kids should be aware of just how evil he and his colleagues are

1

u/Local_Nerve901 Dec 11 '24

So you would say that to a kids face?

Still an ah move 🤷‍♂️

1

u/stereo-ahead Dec 10 '24

Yeah, even if the guy came up to me and confessed, I’d give him some food from my fridge and a place to sleep.

0

u/No_Yam_6561 Dec 10 '24

Fuck you. Murder is always bad. I hope he gets caught and is given the death penalty for the terror and tragedy he put the guys wife and kids through

2

u/Sygma160 Dec 10 '24

A murderer was killed. Eat shit

0

u/No_Yam_6561 Dec 10 '24

I've explained this to sooooo many dumb asses. The ceo does not make individual approved or denied or policies. The ceo is the public face that makes a single vote among many on the board of directors. We don't know which policies he was for or against

1

u/Sygma160 Dec 10 '24

I may be a dumb ass, albeit a well educated dumb ass, but if 1000 more CEOs need to get shot in the head, so be it. Maybe they will serve society a bit better in their next life.

1

u/No_Yam_6561 Dec 10 '24

Do I need to ask a priest to exercise Satan out of you