r/MurderedByWords yeah, i'm that guy with 12 upvotes Dec 09 '24

#2 Murder of Week 68,000 Americans

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u/FROOMLOOMS Dec 09 '24

A father?!

Each one of those dead Americans ARE fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, people with friends, lives, jobs, and a human heart that loves people.

1

u/Epidurality Dec 09 '24

I am writing to inform you that after careful examination, only 60% of our insured have human hearts. As such, we have no choice but to deny your claim.

For more information, please contact a helpline that has not had an operator in 12 years.

1

u/FROOMLOOMS Dec 09 '24

Heart attack confirmed preexisting condition as you cannot have heart attack without already previously having had a heart.