Although i also think cold messaging someone to call them a vapid party girl based on nothing means the gloves come off. He judged her based on a bullshit internet profile? She judges him right back on a bullshit internet profile.
His height was free game in this scenario. As was his weight.
But she made up his height. He said he was 5'9" and she responded by saying "nah, you must be a short person!" She wasnt insulting him as he could very easily be 5'9", she was insulting short people.
No, she was literally insulting him. She didn't imply 5'7" was an inferior height. Her entire retort is based on his perceived insecurity, and she closes it by saying he's the kind of guy who would add 2" to his height because he's insecure about what he actually is.
And yet the point made by /u/NonBinaryElkHunter (which is a few comments up at this point) is that IF what she said is true and he really is insecure, then his insecurity might be partially caused by the kind of treatment she is giving him. It's circular. After all, those kinds of insecurities have to come from somewhere.
Edit: Then she posts it online for more short people with insecurities to feel validated.
Thank you for understanding my argument here. My whole point was that this type of insult is only serving to reinforce his insecurities and as a society that's trying to be more accepting why do we think it's okay to reinforce anyone's insecurity?
If you really want to eradicate his type of thinking or behavior from society you don't do it by reinforcing the very insecurity that leads to him behaving this way.
Admonish him for his behavior, not for his insecurities. People don't choose their insecurities, and often have a hard time controlling them. They can, however, control and change their behavior.
Although i also think cold messaging someone to call them a vapid party girl based on nothing means the gloves come off.
Okay but do you think "vapid party girls" are insecure about being "vapid party girls"? That's the point.
His height was free game in this scenario. As was his weight.
Maybe we can come up with better comebacks than insulting something someone can't control and feeding their perceived (or maybe not perceived) insecurities to "get on their level".
if you tug a cats tail don't act all surprised when it scratches you
Except in this case she used her human brain to type out a comment, hit send, screenshot it, and post it online. I'm okay with calling her out in this case. Making it public means all the short guys with insecurities have another reason to feel validated.
If a complete stranger gives unwanted attention, yes you can say whatever you want People do that all the time. You don't owe someone attention and if they mess up by being rude, you can call them out and be a dick back. That's life.
If a complete stranger gives unwanted attention, yes you can say whatever you want People do that all the time. You don't owe someone attention and if they mess up by being rude, you can call them out and be a dick back. That's life.
So if the guy that negged her was a black man, and she was mad about it, it would perfectly fine for her to call him a ni**er?
No, that would be racist. Which is far beyond being a dick. Being a dick is dialing in on someone’s insecurities and using it to your advantage (which is exactly what happened here).
By your own logic you seemingly believe race is something to feel insecure about. People who use race as a “gotcha!” typically have never been on the receiving end of overt racism. It’s much different and far more drastic than being called short or fat (which people of all races can be and experience bullying/rude comments about)
By your own logic you seemingly believe race is something to feel insecure about
Lol.....Wut!? Hahaha I'm sorry to laugh really but nothing I said insinuated as much, and if it did I apologize because that's not what I meant at all. That was just so out of left field it made me laugh.
People who use race as a “gotcha!” typically have never been on the receiving end of overt racism. It’s much different and far more drastic than being called short or fat
On a real level, I completely disagree. They're both physical characteristics that one cannot change (being short I mean, not overweight...of course you can change that).
Hate is hate, no matter what the cause, and it's never okay.
Being called short or fat isn’t the same as decades of systemic racism and racial discrimination and to believe such is actually something to laugh at. I’m sorry if you’re being misunderstood and you don’t mean what I’ve inferred, but those issues are in wholly different leagues.
Outside of being a little person and the OVERT discrimination they’ve endured, being made to feel insecure about being 5’9 or 5’7 or being called fat is so not the same as or even close to being called the N word (or being racially discriminated against for being a POC)
Being called short or fat isn’t the same as decades of systemic racism and racial discrimination
Yes, I agree. Hate is still hate though, and none of it is ever okay.
This conversation has gotten way off topic from the actual post so I'll just leave it at this, and I'm not going to talk about racism anymore:
How do you think people that are sensitive or insecure about their height got to the point of overreacting about it? They didn't get that way on their own. They got that way because of the way society and other people have treated them throughout their life, or the way society expects men like him to behave.
These types of insults only serve to reinforce his insecurities, and as a society that's trying to be more accepting why do we think it's okay to reinforce anyone's insecurity?
If you really want to eradicate his type of thinking or behavior from society you don't do it by reinforcing the very insecurity that leads to him behaving this way.
Admonish him for his behavior, not for his insecurities. People don't choose their insecurities, and often have a hard time controlling them. They can, however, control and change their behavior.
I agree that being racist is more heinous than body-shaming. "Being a dick" is too vague of a concept for me to agree with though.
This has gotten a little off-topic so let me get back to the conversation at hand. I'll explain my reasoning to you like I did to someone else since I think I've found the best way to explain my feelings on this:
The OP here doesn't actually know his height. She saw 5'9" and just assumed he lied about his height and proceeded to shame him for lying about it...even though she doesn't actually know if he is. She just used that as a means to, guess what, insult him.
So no she really wasn't making fun of his own insecurity because she can't know he's insecure about his height when she doesn't know his actual height.
She literally just used height as an insult, and that's it.
Moving on, how do you think people that are sensitive or insecure about their height got to the point of overreacting about it? They didn't get that way on their own. They got that way because of the way society and other people have treated them throughout their life, or the way society expects men like him to behave.
These types of insults only serve to reinforce his insecurities, and as a society that's trying to be more accepting why do we think it's okay to reinforce anyone's insecurity?
If you really want to eradicate his type of thinking or behavior from society you don't do it by reinforcing the very insecurity that leads to him behaving this way.
Admonish him for his behavior, not for his insecurities. People don't choose their insecurities, and often have a hard time controlling them. They can, however, control and change their behavior.
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u/IonicReign Jan 08 '20
I think you hit the nail on the head here.
Although i also think cold messaging someone to call them a vapid party girl based on nothing means the gloves come off. He judged her based on a bullshit internet profile? She judges him right back on a bullshit internet profile.
His height was free game in this scenario. As was his weight.