r/MurderedByWords • u/CouchTomato212 • Jan 08 '20

Murder Promptly blocked after this

Post image
82.3k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

4.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

102

u/dak4ttack Jan 08 '20

He's not missing out, his pastor says he's the best in the bible study group and the right girl (virgin, but willing to jump right into his most disgusting fetishes, stays inside, but is magically well-travelled and able to hold up interesting conversation) will come along any day now!

70

u/John_Wik Jan 08 '20

I have a former buddy who's been holding out for that exact girl.

He's 45 and hasn't dated since college.

4

u/Leviosashes Jan 08 '20

I'm guessing the main issue is that there aren't many women his age who match this description so he's still lusting after college girls.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '20

You forgot the confusion of "why don't these girls like me for who I am!" 45 balding beer gut, sure to make the panties drop.

5

u/John_Wik Jan 08 '20

Hey you know him too!