Devastating Pain

[u/pinupwillow]

I’m losing my best friend in the entire world. She has a tumor on her spleen and she’s a 14 year old GSD. I’ve loved every dog I’ve ever had but this girl is like connected to me in a way I can’t even explain. I’m not a spiritual person or religious at all. But this dog and I…it’s like we share one heart. Her breathing is getting worse and it’s like I myself can’t breathe. She still has a lot of good moments, but her bad moments are getting worse and it’s absolute hell.

I have two other dogs that I love very much but I didn’t even know it was possible to be this connected to something that it feels like she’s part of me. I made her my entire world. How on earth am I going to open the door for the hospice vet to come in and take her away from me? I can’t even bring myself to set a date. Losing her brother 3 years ago still feels like yesterday. How am I going to do it again?

I feel like without her I nothing to live for. I’ve been so desperate not to lose her I’ve even been reading into per psychics. I don’t believe in shit like that. I think they release advantage of desperate people. But now I’m that desperate person.

I just don’t want to live. Intellectually I know I have all these things, my husband my parents my two 3 year old dogs, and I know i am/should be grateful. But without her I just see no point in continuing.

I went to the doctor, they were sweet but they think I’m crazy. She is not just a pet she is my baby and my world. My husband is my human soulmate but she’s my dog soulmate. How will I live without her? I dread everything that comes after she’s gone too. I’ve been here before and I just can’t seem to handle this one and it’s not even half over yet. I just want to die with her.

[u/AutoModerator]

Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.

This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.

Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.

Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.