Ive always felt like people look at me in a weird way but kind of convinced myself it was just me being paranoid, but on 2 different occasions people i was walking with have noticed it aswell, they said why do people look at you like that ? ..i nearly started crying tbh ..and since then i now believe these people that stare are being influenced by some kind of demonic/spiritual force..I've had people come up to me and say the most horrible things for absolutely no reason..people smile at me me in a really sinister way etc .. i started noticing this about 15 years ago.. recently I had a number of psychosis episodes thinking everything/ everyone is trying to kill me ..i understand that wasn't real but the other stuff I experienced before was definitely happening..I do think there's a spiritual element to psychosis/mental health that people don't like to talk about ..just wondered if anyone else can relate to this in anyway..just to add im not saying everyone is staring it's just a few people but always enough to make sure i notice

Dear Community,

I am 25 years old and struggling with severe visual distortions. My perception is unstable—objects like my heater seem to warp, grow and shrink simultaneously, and stationary things appear to move from left to right. Faces morph, doors and walls seem to shift closer or move sideways, and I also experience depersonalization and derealization. Additionally, I suffer from Jamais-vu, where familiar things suddenly feel strange and unfamiliar.

I’m wondering if this could be classic Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS)? About nine years ago, I had a drug-induced psychosis with similar symptoms. Additionally, my vision is distorted in a way that when I focus on an object, my entire visual field blurs or warps. My spatial awareness and visual imagination are also impaired—everything feels distorted.

This all started a year ago after experiencing several panic attacks, excessive gaming, consuming a lot of energy drinks, and vaping. Could there be a connection? Doctors have suggested a possible psychosis, but I don’t hear voices or have delusions—just these intense visual disturbances. I've tried five different medications, none of which have helped at all.

Out of desperation, I illegally obtained Clonazepam, which surprisingly alleviates all my symptoms—but I know that’s not a long-term solution. My EEG and MRI showed no abnormalities, which makes this even more frustrating. I have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow, hoping to finally get some clarity and a proper diagnosis.

I’m becoming increasingly suicidal because of this. I don’t understand why something like this had to happen to me.

To the Voices I Hear and the Shadows I See, You’ve been with me for a long time now. Sometimes you whisper. Sometimes you scream. Sometimes you just sit silently in the corners of my room, of my mind, watching, waiting, reminding me of everything I want to forget. I know you think you’re telling me the truth. You say I’m filthy. That it was my fault. That I should’ve said no louder, or more often, or that I should’ve fought back, screamed, run. You laugh when I close my eyes, calling me pathetic when the tears come. You call me weak. Stupid. Naive. You say, “you let it happen.” And maybe you’re right. Maybe I did let it happen. I didn’t fight. I didn’t scream. I just froze. I felt my body shutting down the moment his hands touched me that way, the way I never wanted. The moment he stopped seeing me as a person and started looking at me like something he could use. Like something he owned. Like I was an object. A thing. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. I was confused. I was in love. Or at least, I thought I was. I wanted so badly to be loved. I wanted what my friends had — real relationships, closeness, that safety I thought came with affection. And for a while, he made me feel seen. But then he changed. Or maybe he never changed. Maybe I just stopped pretending not to see who he really was. He pushed. Over and over again. I said no, again and again. And when I couldn’t say it anymore, when my voice gave out and all I had left was a shaking head and a breaking heart — he didn’t stop. Not once. He asked. He pushed. He smiled while I cried silently into my pillow at night. And the first time it happened, after it was over, I ran. My legs barely worked, but I made it to the bathroom. I locked the door. I fell in front of the toilet and threw up everything I didn’t know how to feel. And that’s when you came. You started off quiet. Laughing. Calling me names. And then you got louder. Screaming. Telling me it was my fault. That I was filth. That I was broken and would never be clean again. That I should have said no more clearly. That I invited this. That I let it happen. And then came the mirror. The mirror that once showed me a hopeful girl with messy hair and tired eyes and dreams too big for her chest — it became your stage. Now I look and all I see is dirt. Shame. Something disgusting. I can’t look for long without hearing you again. You’re everywhere now. In my sleep. In my shower. In my silence. In my reflection. You’ve taken my voice and replaced it with echoes of his. You’ve taken my skin and made it feel like a stranger’s. You’ve taken my memories and twisted them until I no longer trust what’s real. You tell me I deserved it because I didn’t say no. Because I didn’t push him off. Because I didn’t run. But do you know what fear feels like? Do you know what it’s like to be frozen in a moment your body can’t survive and your mind can’t escape? I do. I know what it’s like to let it happen because you’re too scared to stop it. Because somewhere inside, you still want to be loved. Because you’re afraid if you say no again, this time he’ll leave. And you’re terrified to be alone. Because being alone with you — with the voices and shadows — is sometimes worse than being touched by someone who doesn’t love you. But then he did leave. Eventually. Just like I feared. And yet, here you are. Still with me. Still blaming me. And I believed you. I still do, some days. I still think it’s my fault. Because I didn’t scream. Because I didn’t say no a hundred more times. Because I was frozen. But I’m writing this now, aren’t I? I’m still here. I haven’t given up, not completely. Some part of me is still trying. Still wanting to breathe again. To laugh again. To live again. I want to find her again — the girl I was before him. The girl who believed in the possibility of love. The girl who didn’t jump at every touch, who didn’t flinch when a man stood too close, who didn’t feel sick when someone said her name kindly. I want to believe she’s still in there somewhere. I want to believe I’m not ruined. I want to believe that you — the voices, the shadows, the ghosts that wear my shame like skin — are not the truth. You are just the wounds. The scars. The echoes of something that shouldn’t have happened. Because no, I didn’t scream. No, I didn’t say no enough times. No, I didn’t fight back. But that doesn’t make it okay. That doesn’t make it my fault. He didn’t need a yes. He needed permission. And he never had it. You tell me I let it happen. But the truth is — he did it anyway. So no, I’m not filthy. No, I’m not broken beyond repair. And no, I don’t deserve you — the voices, the shadows, the shame. I don’t know how to silence you yet. But this letter is my first attempt. I may not believe it all yet. But I’m trying. And someday, I will see myself without you again. Until then, please… leave me alone.

— Me.

I'm so out of it these days? I keep blacking out and not remembering anything and I can't tell what's real and time is all non-linear and weird and I keep leaving the stove on for hours even though i really remember turning it off. I don't know what is happening in my life or how to talk to people normally, I can't remember if i've done basic things, I think things that happened in my dreams were real memories i feel like i barely know where I am. I'm so confused and inside out that I keep almost burning my house down through my carelessness. no matter how many times people tell me things i believe aren't real it can't quite stick. my words don't come out of my mouth right.

If you had a sense that someone is controlling your body, did it go away? If so, how? Did you start noticing that you are the one moving the body or did it just slowly stop moving? How long did it take? What meds were you on?

hi guys sorry if this is like wrong to post i just don’t rlly know where else to ask i woke up really scared today and i started feeling the burning and pinching like theres ants and bugs inside me again and its either they poisoned me last night or they’re trying to make me think im already infected so ill go and eat their poisoned food today. either way im too terrified to get out of bed cause thats how they get you everyone’s gonna know and it makes me really sick but i have homework i desperately need to get done today for a class im falling behind in but i can’t fall behind cause i have a gpa dependent scholarship. my prof also doesn’t care if im struggling he just tells me to get the work in. i was wondering if anyone could maybe offer words of encouragement or advice to help overcome my fear just for today because i can’t and everyone in my life just gets weirded out when i ask for help

Good morning, afternoon, or night to you, I would like to say my respects to these communities. Please forgive me if I share something I'm not supposed to, this is an alternative chance for me to get support. I'm asking for anyone to share their thoughts to what I'm experiencing:

I'm 16 years old and from the Western hemisphere, and I have primary diagnoses of ASD Level 1 and ADHD-C and secondary diagnoses of MDD and GAD, for which I was diagnosed a few months ago.
Before this diagnosis, I had panic disorder and anorexia nervosa, which I have recovered from after going to the ER when I was around 13 years old and being given therapy. At that time there was mild self-harm and suicide attempts that I haven't said to anybody, and from what I can remember, I believed that doing such things to myself was acceptable because I was being a martyr, or a saviour treasured by God. Around the time of the diagnosis, I was having derealisation and depersonalisation and visual hallucinations like perceptual distortions. Something felt strange, and I tried to ask my psychiatrist if I there was something missing in the diagnosis, to which she and my psychologist replied no because I have partial to complete insight, which I think is because of 'double bookkeeping'. I was given an antidepressant (Sertraline) and an antipsychotic (Risperidone) by my psychologist, who is a nurse practitioner. After the diagnosis, I had some persecutory and nihilistic delusions, like Cotard's, with internal auditory hallucinations. But I have Imposter Syndrome with believing these aren't valid, or if they aren't psychosis but something like monotropic spiral from autistic burnout or hypochondria.
From around these 3 years, I've had nonlinear recovery, and therapy and medication don't seem to be comfortable with me. I haven't been able to do what I used to be able to do. Life seems wynorrific, and I survive with confusion here and there.

My questions are: Are these possibly episodes of psychosis (my memory is bad)? Should I ask my psychiatrist or psychologist to see to this again?

Edit: Many of these symptoms I've been masking. I'm quite anxious to be sharing this information, hopefully it isn't invasive.

I’m A 28 years old male in the state of Washington. I’ve been experiencing visual problems where things seem to change size or distort shape. My depression has skyrocketed, isolating,dreams are hard to tell from real life and can cause confusion, days morph into one so it’s hard to tell what events happen on what day. I’ve smoked weed mainly dabs for the last decade straight 10+ times a day. I’ve used other stimulants and Hallucinogenics several different times in varying doses. I have a family history of mental health but it’s always scared me to look into it. My mother died when I was 12 to pretty much depression causing her to never take care of herself. I’m very worried about my mental state. Can anyone relate or have any ideas to help me pull it back together? I also take the following medications busprone,Wellbutrin,Zoloft,adderall,and trazodone to sleep. Known diagnosis… complex ptsd, chronic depression, severe anxiety, and add/adhd I’m also a recovering alcoholic with 6 months under my belt. Thank you for your time and support is needed bad!

I had a full episode for about 6-7 months and have been hospitalised since end of January

does anyone else straight up feel like running away and living in the woods? I’ve had this urge forever especially when my mental state gets worse such as psychosis. I think it’s a way to literally not just off myself. I also get super off track and “read into things”. Worse part is ppl want me to fight to stay alive but then find me intolerable and treat me like crap. When I say fight to stay alive I mean I literally almost died last week so you can guess my mental state rn. I felt like I chose to stay? I can almost remember the exact words while I felt like I was dying. Ugh I get extremely emotional talking about this due to what I saw and felt. And how my life went back to being crappy after a few days of ppl caring. Just makes me want to die again or idk. Death was too much for me tbh but life is too. Thought I had the answers but they feel like they are slipping. Welp now I’m crying and can’t even find something to drink 🤪

My first psychosis had me missing 1,000 miles south in South Carolina after being tased and beaten up by cops and waking up in the ambulance with a broken rib and 11 scars on my head covered in blood screaming about being Odin, The Allfather. I was pretty well behaved before that. It's been a roller coaster since then. Had my arm broken in a psych ward with a flying kick too. I have been recording my weird adventure and I have been to the psych ward a few more times. Brains are crazy.

On this wild trip, I was also

- Approached by the MIB for my giant alien and portal sculpture

- Possessed by a demon

- Abducted by aliens

- Had my brains scrambled by an evil wizard

- Broke into a church to escape evil wizard (saved by hallowed grounds lol)

Life is wild.

This person refuses to get checked out for any form of personality disorder, schizophrenia, or etc.

This isn't normal because the "voices" in their head are "puppeting" or "controlling" them. Its not tulpas or some form of other person-made plurrality, so what would you recommend?

They said they came back after thry were overthinking about me

So I recently started Wellbutrin about a month ago in the hospital before they started it I was already paranoid but not delusional but when I came home and started having caffeine things started getting real bad real fast within 2 weeks I was sort of convinced that this guy named Charlie who lived in Texas was after me and stalking me and within 3 weeks I was fully convinced I stopped caffeine for 3 days and now I’m not convinced still slightly paranoid but nothing major is this a sign of a upcoming psychotic episode if all it takes is caffeine to push me over into delusions I’m confused

Does anyone else have that thing where youre having a conversation in your head and you answer outloud once and realize none of it was real, even though it felt real? Is this the schizoaffective disorder or just one of my quirks lol.

Does anyone experience psychosis related thoughts/moments that aren’t psychosis? I don’t know whether I am getting used the the meds and have psychosis related symptoms or just flashbacks

I am recovering from my 2nd bout of psychosis Last night over 5 hours symptoms grew to the point of not knowing the truth, losing trust with others, thinking I was dying/the world was ending, then it went away.

I have postictal psychosis. I know psychosis is a complete detachment from reality so am trying to work out if last night was psychosis or i am getting flashbacks. I was aware of the 2025 reality, I could still talk and see normal ish. People started doing weird things (being loud then quiet) numbers and words and sentences people were saying sounded jumbled and confused, I was worried it was going to happen again but at the same time everything looked normal apart from peoples faces looked either tired or smiling. I felt like I was causing thinks to happen and the fabric of reality was breaking apart. We were playing card game called oh hell which didn’t help, I got scared if we ended the game I would go to hell or I am in hell

But I was also based in reality and it came and went. So confused what’s causing this?

Mine ended when I attempted to go on a date with one of my voices to prove they were real and they 'stood me up'. After that the illusion was shattered and I haven't heard a single thing since (almost three months now). Just wondering whether this sort of abrupt end/sudden realisation that the delusions are not real is normal or whether a slow fade is more typical. (This was my first psychosis.)

So you guys can call me RJ. Before I tell this story just a little info about me. I’m 28 years old at the time I was 27. I do not have any history of mental illness apart from some pretty standard depression. Last year in February right after my birthday I found my mom overdosed in her bed. My mom was all the family I had left and after she was gone I had no one. The same day my mom passed I was arrested (I had a violation of probation) originally for a theft charge in 2017. That’s a whole other story the person found what they claimed I had stolen but I was told when they went to try to drop the charges they were told the state had already picked the charges up. I had a violation because I had missed probation. Now anyways this is where the story really begins and this has been eating at me for a long time I kinda kick it back to the corner and throw something over it whenever I feel the memories coming up. When I went to Jail that day right after calling 911 and finding my mother. My girlfriend at the time disconnected her phone she just left me and I was alone. I was so upset over my mom dying a few inmates told guards that I was going to hurt myself and when the jail staff first came in and asked me if I was planning on hurting myself I just burst into tears because no one had asked me if I was okay at that point and I believe I said something along the lines of “I just want this pain to stop” and I had no idea that meant they were gonna strip me of my clothes and throw me in a cell naked with 4 other grown men. After about 2 days in the Suicide Tank I begin to hear voices and see things that were not there. I eventually got moved to a lockdown cell where I could be monitored by myself and I can remember feeling like the jail staff were seeing if I truly wanted to kill myself as if they could read my thoughts I was hearing them laugh. I thought the other inmates were being controlled like video game characters to mess with me I would see a guard walk passed then suddenly a inmate would wake up from a deep sleep and sound just like the voice of the guard. I started to believe I saw god and that the devil was trying to keep me confined in a cage for an indefinite amount of time. There’s so much that went on and it lives with me everyday. When I finally got out it was like 5 days and then my head felt normal again and I’ve not felt anything like that sense. Is this normal was it some kinda mental break?

Hello Reddit, I was wondering if anyone could give me their advice regarding stopping ruinations into the past. Its been a topic that has bothered me for some time because of how bad it has affected my overall life.

I remember my ruminations started when I first received my episode. I was so upset about my psychosis situation that I began reliving the past and trying to correct my mistakes. Rumination has since become a recurring habit. I find that I'm no longer staying in the present anymore, but rather ruminating in the past. It interferes with my reading, studying and taking care of chores in a big way. Normal people do not have this problem and always stay in the present moment. Frequently I may add, I think so much about the past that I actually make up scenarios that most people tell me never actually happened. Its annoying and I want to make it stop.

So far, the solutions that I have for this problem are not very good and I want to request for help.

I got advice from a psychiatrist once to challenge my brain everyday to help my brain work better. So far, its helping because I feel that I can sustain my presence for several seconds after challenging my brain. Most of the time however, I still cannot stop my brain from going into the past and I ruminate while I challenge it.

Another solution I got was "forget about the past" or "leaving the past behind" by a therapist. I felt this was generic advice because it doesn't point to any specific action (how do I forget it?). I also find that I don't have the capacity to stop thinking about the past because I'm so used to ruminating about it.

The last advice I got was to stay present. Its from a book by Richard Forbs Stevens called "Psychosis Recovery guide". I've tried following his advice to throw away thoughts (intrusive ones) and being present with my surroundings in order to try maintain presence. But doing these exercises repetitively doesn't really help because I go back into the past just as soon I drop my thoughts. It also feels that getting rid of the thoughts over and over again does not improve the overall strength of the brain. Because it doesn't load the brain much, dropping thoughts doesn't improve my ability to resist getting sucked into the past and doesn't help with stopping rumination/ daydreaming.

What is your way of training to stay present?

Bright_Spot

My delusions were partially that I was unkowingly working for a foreing agency, I finally accepted them as untrue and now a random number messages me…. UhHHHH WHYY DOES GETTING HEALTHY have to be so fucking hard?

I’m just gonna start this off by saying I understand that what I did was very irresponsible and I have no intention on ever using recreational drugs again. About a month ago I decided to purchase a hg of mdma I have used mdma multiple times in the last two years probably more than what is healthy but nothing crazy I would say I’d take probably 200mg every 1-2 months. Usually when I use mdma it is weighed and capped from a mate so I know what I’m taking and the dose. This time however I had bought it from a random plug and it was uncapped in rock form from my knowledge it looked like mdma it had that slight yellow too it which is advertised as “champagne” mdma. My first mistake was not weighing out my half gram and just snapping the rock in half and taking the bigger bit, I do not have much memory of my first roll just small bits of my cousin saying my eye looked fucked as it was going spastic and also saying I looked super anxious and nervous which was weird cus from what I remember I really enjoyed it and it was super euphoric at the end of that roll my cousin left and I decided to take the other half of the gram this would’ve been about 6 hours later so about 12 at night after this I have faint memory of me walking around the house confused talking jiberish to my aunty telling her about things that made no sense and soon after this I went back to my bed and the hallucinations started I could see mice running under the doors and spider webs in the corner of my room I could hear voices that at the time I thought people outside my house trying to break in and I could see small mite looking bugs everywhere all over me all over my bed all over my clothing. I was scared to leave my room as when I attempted to I heard a voice telling me to go back which I thought was the person who broke into my house. I lost consciousness for abit n when I regained it I thought I could hear people laughing at me through my phone and all the text on my phone looked as if it was in another font I woke my cousin up at 4 am to show him that my phone was hacked and the bugs crawling through my clothes hoping he’d validate my thoughts but he assured me that these were delusions. After that I went to sleep and have not had any delusions or hallucinations after that I’m wondering if this sounds like drug induced psychosis or just hallucinations from the mdma and if I should chase this up and seek medical attention incase something like this happens again without taking drugs. I have had hallucinations on drugs before but when I had I was aware they were this experience felt so real and was pretty traumatic

not as in I exhibit warning signs, but like I feel them. I get reoccurring dreams about being in the hospital or lashing out, this happens weeks prior to when I start getting bad again. or I'll feel the compulsion to excessively walk or write for no reason and with no other weird symptoms alongside this.

I recently got over weed psychosis. but man, my depression is so awful. Back in 2019 i microdosed shrooms and they made me feel so much love, bliss, happiness and more. But then i took 2.5g one night in the dark and had a bad experience. Now my brain isnt really the same.

I really want to try microdosing again but im worried anxiety will be back. psychosis itself doesn't scare me much but anxiety does. . at the same time i know all antidepressants are useless i've tried 95% of them. idk what to do. ive given up hope with psychiatry ages ago. life while depressed doesn't feel worth living and my parents are against me doing it again. but i honestly dont see myself living much longer if i dont try it again. im just so tired of this.

My brother got a psychosis episode that went on for about 2 weeks until we finally took him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with level 1 psychosis that was stress induced and prescribed him 10mg of olanzapine and that basically worked and took him out of it.

But I just read up on olanzapine and the withdrawals and side effects of it sounds horrible? The doc advised to take the medicine for 3 months and come back and she'll reduce the dose if needed. So here's my concern:

1) I'm really scared about my brother relapsing (eg getting triggered/ lower dose causing it etc)

2) the withdrawls sound like hell, how do you prevent them / manage them?

3) this is a silly question, but this whole situation makes me feel hopeless like there's no chance for my brother to live a normal life (sorry if this sounds rash)

I received a text that was so weird it caused suicidal ideation in me, what was the weirdest wrong number scenario that triggered you?