r/RealTwitterAccounts • u/Kind_Smell_8050 • 5d ago
Political™ The jokes write themselves
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u/AloneAddiction 5d ago
"Everything I hate is woke!!!1!!"
Ahh yes, back in 2014 it was "sjw" and now it's "woke." I wonder what it will be in 2034?
"DEI" tried to get into the lexicon of idiocy as did "marxist" but neither of those really took hold. Plus there's only so many times Americans can misuse the word "socialist" before it loses all meaning anyway, so we're stuck with idiots using the word "woke" to describe everything they personally don't like instead.
I miss the days when everything was apparently a marxist conspiracy. Now it's just plain old woke.
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u/BuckGlen 5d ago
The gay-trangender-economist-scientist-scholars-jewish-muslim-christain-atheist-foreign-domestic-democratic-human rights coalition will now be known simply as "woke"
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u/okokokoyeahright 4d ago
Those little pea brains rattling around in those big empty skulls can only grasp and retain small words. Four letter words usually. 'woke' does qualify.
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u/Few_Jury_1573 1d ago
Wait, Christian???
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u/BuckGlen 1d ago
Not all Christians are evangelical. There was a preacher who was supporting queer people and a bunch of right wingers called her a "false Shepard" like its bioshock infinite.
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u/DandimLee 5d ago
Political correctness going to make a come-back, but it will be the anti-woke, anti-DEI politics.
'Woman' would be like 'fag', Calling someone an 'incel' will be like calling them the n-word, but will be prosecuted as a hate crime (unless said by an incel), Homosexuals get exiled from the bunker, or sent to the conversion/re-education camp if they're a hot lesbian.
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u/KeyWielderRio 4d ago
"Homosexuals get exiled from the bunker, or sent to the conversion/re-education camp if they're a hot lesbian."
That's literally already what the Anti-Woke crowd wants. I dont think you understand what Woke actually means.
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u/DandimLee 4d ago
I did forget the /s tag. Thought it was obvious based on the tenor and topic of the thread and post.
Although I did say that it was the anti-woke, anti-DEI politics driving this political correctness.
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u/vitaly_antonov 5d ago
CRT had a good run too!
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u/mrrektstrong 5d ago
Ah, I forgot about that season. I thought it was interesting to do a spin off of SJW, but the setting of unjustifiable anger towards black people has been played out for a while.
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u/VagueSomething 5d ago
Long hair on men was "Communist" and Right Wing Americans felt so passionate about it they made signs to hold. Now the Right whine constantly online about short hair and blue hair on women. Literal fashion police.
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u/spicyhotcheer 5d ago
I bet it’ll be “globalist”
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u/AloneAddiction 5d ago
I think "globalist" died when Alex Jones got sued to high heaven and back. He used that word a lot.
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u/Pacothetaco619 5d ago
The word socialist hasn't really meant anything for over a century now. George Orwell talks about this in his book Politics and the English language
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u/QuestionableIdeas 5d ago
Cultural Marxism in particular was first used as a term by the Germans, circa 1940. Conservatives seem to suffer a complete lack of imagination, they reuse old terms from ideological brothers, or they take terms the left makes up and twist their meaning into "stuff I don't like".
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u/NoiD_Reddit 5d ago
Basically a "Goldstein" from 1984.
Give people an enemy to hate and convince them everything they dislike has him involved.
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u/WiseFalcon2630 2d ago
‘Woke’ is anything they don’t like that doesn’t already fit under some other outrage umbrella.
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u/Ugo777777 5d ago
High domestic violence and alcohol consumption is so woke bro
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u/Yeshua_shel_Natzrat 4d ago
Just ignore the fact that the highest rates of both of those occur in red states and counties
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u/Akhanyatin 5d ago
No, wait, it might be how we get the maga cult to hate putin
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u/Big_Dick_NRG 5d ago
Ends justify the means, as they say
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u/Top-Cost4099 4d ago edited 4d ago
Broad application of this ends in bad things, friend. We can and must do more, get active, fight back, go low, but the means still have to justify themselves.
I showed up to my first rally with indivisible today. It was all older people. I clocked only one other potential redditor, and pretty much nobody my age or younger. I'm pushing fucking 30. It was all boomers and gen X out there networking and planning action. Where are the millennials and the zoomers?
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u/CheerfulWarthog 5d ago
"no please do not turn against our lord and saviour woke putin, or as we call him in our weekly worship sessions, "pronouns putin the slayqueen". that would be so terrible for us woke libs. we would be incredibly triggered and owned if you supported ukraine's defence. we would appear in memes making many a crying face."
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u/Bender__Rondrigues 1d ago
Be prepared for maga to start declaring that domestic violence isn't that bad actually.
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u/Akhanyatin 1d ago
It's already not that bad to be arresting people who are in the country legally and sending them to random places
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u/Valentiaga_97 5d ago
A few years ago, when Putin was forced to step back as president, Medwedew out a tax on alcohol, reduced the alcohol addiction in russia… when putin came back in power, he got rid of these taxes and started his own vodka production 👀
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u/FangGore 5d ago
The Russians are easier to handle when full of vodka. Much like the Americans and Fox News.
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u/Valentiaga_97 5d ago
A drunken and addicted Population is easier to manipulate and Control, Russian tsars knew very well
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u/Friendly-Web-5589 5d ago
Key policy demand of the Woke Manifesto.
Lol is this signaling that they are going to try to dignity wraith Putin now.
"That dude was always woke we certainly never approved of him".
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u/seenitreddit90s 4d ago
Medvedev was never really in power though right?
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u/Valentiaga_97 4d ago
He just switched position with Putin 🤷
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u/seenitreddit90s 4d ago
Officially only.
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u/Valentiaga_97 4d ago
Just because the russian constitution only allowed 2 terms as president or prime minister, after that Medwedew Term, putin changed it 🤷
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u/seenitreddit90s 4d ago
Yeah I think we're on the same page, all I'm saying is that Medvedev had very little autonomy.
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u/Valentiaga_97 4d ago
He only is a loyal dog with no autonomy nowadays, hd very Little to begin with
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u/Gibbit420 5d ago
I love double-checking redditors' claims. Alcohol consumption has had a 10-year decline in Russia. They aren't even in the top 10 in alcohol consumption. It's also projected to decrease in the next 4 years. It saw a 1.6 % increase in 2024, which was the first time in a decade. Alcohol consumption in Russia per capita put them around 30th.
If you want misleading information, come to reddit.
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u/Legitimate_Nobody_69 4d ago
Sir, this is a screenshot of a tweeter post. You realise tweeter is not reddit right?
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u/Gibbit420 4d ago
I'm replying to a comment made on reddit about Putine which is clearly false.
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u/Legitimate_Nobody_69 4d ago
The comment you replied to made no claims about the trends of alcohol consumption rates, merely recounting the policies introduced by Russian presidents. I assumed you were replying to the OP screenshot, it would make more sense, but since you double down on your rebuke of a non existing argument, clearly you are living in your own reality.
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u/Gibbit420 4d ago
"A few years ago, when Putin was forced to step back as president, Medwedew out a tax on alcohol, reduced the alcohol addiction in russia… when putin came back in power, he got rid of these taxes and started his own vodka production 👀"
You are clearly living in your reality. Start using your brain.
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u/Sassafrazzlin 5d ago
High divorce rate, huh? Do the divorce rate in Trump’s Cabinet.
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u/vitaly_antonov 5d ago
That's completely different, as you would very well know if you weren't infected by the woke mind virus!!11!!!1
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u/ngetch 5d ago
What are you talking about? trump is so woke! And elon is the wokest of them all!
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u/ChimPhun 3d ago
Elon is so woke he typically only sleeps 10 hours a week. (Actually it's the ketamine)
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u/Sassafrazzlin 5d ago
When they say ‘woke mind virus,’ what they really mean is: ‘I saw a fact I didn’t like and now I’m having an emotional reaction.’
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u/FangGore 5d ago
Soon Putin will be labelled a DEI hire.
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u/LazyLeopard17 4d ago
He already is. As a Russian dictator he’s a woke DEI hire who personally did abortions to get to the top.
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u/Ok-Investigator4622 5d ago
Lowest church attendance and highest divorce rates, most alcohol consumption-have they looked at the president and his cabinet? Smdh
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u/RustyKn1ght 5d ago
That reminded me when two evancelicals preachers (or was it Televangelists?) interviewed him and tried their best to sell him as "only true christian candidate".
When asked, Trump couldn't come up with any favorite bible verses (probably because he never has read of it anything but index), because he didn't want to "single out one piece of such a great book."
Then when asked whether he is old or new testament type of guy, he answered "probably equal". So basically his answer to "Eye for an eye" and "Turn the other cheek" was "I support both".
It pretty surreal sight: everyone and their brother could see Mango Mussolini couldn't give two shits of "christian values", but they just went along with it.
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u/Roadhouse699 5d ago
He's just trying to steer the American right away from admiring Putin, I think.
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u/Rednas999 4d ago edited 3d ago
It this is what it takes the fuck it, let him cook.
EDIT: unfortunate misspelling of cook...
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u/SadPandaFromHell 5d ago
No, no... let them run with this narrative. Some hog seeing Russia as woke really seemed to help them adapt the correct anti-Putan sentiment that they should have. It's like fantasizing during sex- if pretending they are woke helps them stay hard enough to fuck Putan- then as someone who wants to see Putan get fucked- by all means- feel free to fantasize.
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u/Opening-Chain3520 5d ago
"Woke" has a rolling definition to these people. It means whatever they want it too, depending on the circumstance. If you can manage to corner a MAGA and ask them what "woke" means they probably couldn't give you a sensible, non-bigoted sounding answer.
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u/No_Squirrel4806 5d ago
So are all the men alcoholics whose wife's got abortions they got mad and beat them so the wives divorced them?
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u/AnonPerson5172524 5d ago
I mean, he’s trying to break through to conservatives that Putin isn’t the protector of traditional values that he likes to present himself as, which is accurate.
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u/Space_Sweetness 5d ago
I’m thinking this could be a good screenplay.. ”Woke Putin”. Like ”The Producers” with Mel Brooks
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u/Sartres_Roommate 5d ago
“But he made homosexuals and trans illegal so we should just give him Europe”
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u/Distantstallion 5d ago
No no thats great
Tell them putin is woke and is forcing america to DEI and abandon ukraine and all their trade.
They're stupid enough that it just might work
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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip-824 5d ago
Putin loves dei he hopes it happens to everyone! Oh.. wait, I got that wrong... He wants everyone to DIE. My bad, easy mistake to make.
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u/OregonHusky22 5d ago
Word has lost all meaning. Just like how you got middle aged chubby politicians calling themselves based
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u/JarJarJarMartin 5d ago
Anybody going to tell him that all of these things are well-documented social outcomes of right-wing policies?
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u/Emotional-Dog-6492 5d ago
Joe has got dementia too, poor thing. Confusing left and right, woke and anti woke. Besides Russian churches are crowded
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u/S0ylentBob 5d ago
Being Republican looks like such misery. Just go fishing or something you fucking weirdos.
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u/snolution 5d ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPqecR0Z1d8 Obviously this very convincing video has spread around.
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u/Ok-Albatross899 5d ago
Woke Putin has me in tears. They literally just throw shit at the wall to see what sticks
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u/Nephilim8 5d ago
It's true. Putin is super woke. He's always talking about protecting the rights and lives of black people. And he won't stop repeating that phrase "trans women are women". He's even got his pronouns on all the Russian government websites.
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u/mishmash2323 5d ago
In every other instance the use of woke is moronic but I do not have a problem if it's used as a stick to beat Vladimir Putin with. This is only splitting the right.
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u/Patralgan 5d ago
Lol. We've come to the point where literally anything is apparently woke. I wouldn't be surprised if they call Trump woke next week.
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u/justmitzie 4d ago
All it took was for Trump to say he was pissed at Putin, and they all just fell in line.
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u/LegendofLove 4d ago
Things don't tend to look great in a country at war, especially with a 'president' with such awards as he was won or the allegations he's earned.
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u/Revenga8 4d ago
Whoa whoa hold up. Let him cook. If this somehow gets all of maga to agree to turn against putin and support ukraine, if it works it works. The rest of us knows what's up.
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u/OneEyedWonderCat 4d ago
He very clearly does not have even the foggiest idea of what life with P’tin is like….to not be able to put 2 and 2 together…
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u/Puzzleheaded_Air7096 4d ago
The orange dumbass is trying to model the US after Russia, suuure woke. 🤣
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u/EchoLoco2 4d ago
Honestly if this is what it takes for the maga crowd to be against Russia, so be it
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u/babiekittin 3d ago
Can't watch your children be pressed into military service if you press them down the drain first.
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u/LemanRussTheOnlyKing 3d ago
Ah yes the family woke activities of alcohol abuse and domestic violence in the famously woke country of Russia.
And also a high number of abortions isnt necessarily woke, pro choice doesnt mean everyone should get an abortion it just means people have the Choice. Low church attendance can also have many other reasons since leaving a Religion or loosing interest in it/ loosing faith can happen to anyone
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u/FemBoyGod 3d ago
Without High abortion and low church attendance.
This is on par with conservatives
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u/vegasbm 3d ago
Russians drink a lot. It's their culture. And being drunk invites all other side effects.
What can the govt really do about it?
Drugs for instance is abused a lot by Americans. Is the US president to blame for that? If not, then why is Putin being picked on for the cultural vices of Russian citizens?
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u/OpheliaLives7 3d ago
Reminds me of tumblr post claiming Putin was a TERF.
Them some lesbian user was like, reported to the government by trans group. Social media is wild
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u/asperatedUnnaturally 5d ago
Enlightened Centrists now pro-putin, still not understanding the Overton Window
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u/asperatedUnnaturally 5d ago
Yeah, you know. Morons
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u/asperatedUnnaturally 5d ago
Middle of the road, smug idiots who don't want to learn anything and have an irrational contempt for expertise and an inflated sense of their own importance.
Seems like you know who I'm talking about yeah
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