r/SouthAsianMasculinity 4h ago

AutoMod Weekly Free for all discussion April 06, 2025

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r/SouthAsianMasculinity Aug 17 '24

Dating/Relationships Daygame Domination: How to Master the Cold Approach

22 Upvotes

My first cold approach was during my college days, at a party hosted by an Indian fraternity in the town of a notorious party school. Hip-hop music was blasting from the DJ booth, the dance floor was packed, and shots were being poured like water. The stench of sweat from the packed dance floor mixed with the sweet, smoky haze of hookah, creating an intoxicating, almost surreal effect.

As I walked through the haze, I spotted a pretty Indian girl I had seen around campus. My heart raced and my palms were sweaty, but I decided to take the plunge. Dead sober, I walked up to her and blurted out, "Hi, I thought you were cute and had to say hi!" She looked at me, wide-eyed and a bit shocked. My mind went blank. I had no idea what to do next because, to be honest, I didn’t think I would get this far. Panic set in, and I nervously walked away, my heart pounding in my chest.

As I retreated to a corner of the club, I was surprised at myself. I had actually approached her! That wasn’t that bad, was it? Even though I had fumbled, it was a small win. That night, I realized that the first step is often the hardest, but it’s also the most important.

While this was a nighttime approach, it taught me valuable lessons that I later applied to daygame. Let’s face it—approaching women during the day can be nerve-wracking, but it's one of the most powerful ways to meet potential partners. For Desi men especially, mastering the cold approach isn’t just a skill; it’s a game-changer. Here’s how to crush your cold approach game and boost your inner confidence simultaneously.

1. Understanding the Cold Approach

Cold approach is the art of starting a conversation with a woman you don’t know in a public setting, such as a park, bookstore, or coffee shop. This technique requires balls and practice, but the rewards are immense. Of course, this all hinges on you meeting her minimum level of attraction—no amount of game can overcome a lack of physical appeal.

The Basics of Daygame

  • Location: Hit up busy but relaxed spots where people are open to chatting, like cafes, bookstores and shopping areas. Don’t overlook less conventional spots like dog parks, cat cafes, and breweries. These places are often filled with women who are in a relaxed and social mood, making them prime spots for a successful cold approach. Community events, art galleries, and trendy co-working spaces are also great options.
  • Timing: Daytime interactions are more relaxed and less intimidating than night game. Without the loud music and crowded spaces, conversations flow more naturally, making it easier to connect. Expect a complete cold approach to take 5-10 minutes, giving you just enough time to make a strong first impression without dragging things out.

2. Overcoming Fear of Rejection

The first step in mastering the cold approach is building immunity to rejection. Rejection is inevitable and part of the process, so embrace it as a badge of honor and stop being a little bitch.

Building Immunity

  • Repetition: The more you approach, the less you’ll care about rejection. Start small and scale up.
  • Mindset: Adopt a mindset of indifference and outcome independence. Your goal is to have fun and practice, not to win every woman. An approach is a win in itself.

Each cold approach builds your resilience and confidence. Facing rejection head-on strengthens your inner game, making you tougher and more self-assured.

3. Projecting Confidence

Confidence is non-negotiable. Here’s how to project it like a boss:

Body Language

  • Eye Contact: Lock eyes like you own the room. Maintain eye contact for a few seconds, then break it briefly. If she holds your gaze and then looks down, approach her right after.
  • Posture: Stand tall with your shoulders back and chest out. Avoid slouching or crossing your arms. Keep your body relaxed and open, taking up space confidently.
  • Smile: A genuine smile is inviting and disarms initial defenses. Aim for a natural smile that reaches your eyes.

Voice and Tone

  • Speak Clearly: Ensure your words are clear and resonate with confidence. Don’t mumble or speak too softly.
  • Pace Yourself: Speak slowly and deliberately. Rushed speech signals nervousness. Pause for dramatic effect when articulating your thoughts.

4. The Initial Approach

Your initial approach sets the tone. Here’s how to nail it:

Opening Line

  • Direct Approach: “Hey, I saw you walking by and you looked nice. I had to come over and say hi.”
  • Indirect Approach: “Hey, I’m looking for a good coffee shop around here. Do you have any recommendations?”

Getting Her to Stop: Position yourself slightly ahead of her path. Use a friendly wave or a verbal cue like, “Hey, excuse me!” to make your presence known.

Approaching from the Front or Angle: Avoid approaching directly from behind. Instead, approach from an angle where she can see you coming.

Maintaining a Comfortable Distance: Keep an arm’s length distance when you start the conversation.

Self-Amusement and Indifference

Approach with a mindset of self-amusement. Make the interaction fun for yourself. Think, “How can I make this fun for me?”

5. Creating a Playful Vibe

A playful vibe makes the interaction memorable and engaging.

Push-Pull Technique

  • Tease and Compliment: “I don’t usually go for redheads, but that leather jacket you’re rocking is seriously on point.”
  • Playful Conflict: “You and your dog look like partners in crime. Should I be worried?”

6. Showing Sexual Intent

Don’t be afraid to show your interest. Women dig confidence and clarity.

Sexual Spikes

  • Compliments: Focus on something she chose. Instead of “You have such captivating eyes,” say, “I love your necklace—it really complements your eye color.”
  • Playful Touch: Subtle physical contact can escalate attraction. Lightly touch her arm when emphasizing a point, or give a playful tap on her shoulder if she teases you.

7. Handling Rejection and Shit Tests

Rejection and shit tests are part of the game. Handle them with finesse and humor.

Rejection

  • Nonchalant Response: “No worries, have a great day!”
  • Learning Experience: Reflect on what you can improve for next time. If you get rejected, think about what you can learn from the interaction. Maybe your approach was too direct or the timing was off.

Shit Tests

  • Amused Mastery: Treat her tests with amusement like you’ve seen it all before. When she asks, “Are you a player?” respond with a grin, “I’ve been called worse, but I prefer ‘confident and fun.’”

8. Practical Tips for Daygame

Here are some actionable steps to crush your daygame approach:

Observation and Assumptions

  • Make Observations: Observations are a powerful tool that you can use at any point in the interaction. They help you connect with her on a more personal level by showing that you’re paying attention. For example, if you’re in a coffee shop, you could say, “That cappuccino looks amazing. Do you come here often?” or “I noticed you’re reading [book title]. How are you finding it?”
  • Assumption Stacks: Instead of asking a question, take charge by making an assumption. Questions can put the burden on the woman, while assumptions show that you're leading the conversation. For instance, instead of asking, “Are you into yoga?” say, “You look like someone who’s into yoga.” This approach creates intrigue and demonstrates confidence in your ability to read people.

Handling the Interaction

  • Keep it Light: Start with light, fun topics. Avoid heavy or overly personal subjects initially.
  • Escalate Slowly: If she’s responsive, gradually move the conversation to more personal topics.

9. Navigating Cultural Clashes

As a Desi man, embrace your cultural identity and use it to your advantage.

Cultural Pride

  • Share Your Story: “I moved here from India a few years ago. It’s been an interesting journey!”
  • Blend Cultures: “I love combining the best of both worlds. Have you ever tried chicken tikka tacos?”

10. Continuous Improvement

Always strive to up your game. Whether it’s refining your openers or working on your body language, continuous improvement is key.

Self-Reflection

  • Review Your Approaches: After each interaction, reflect on what went well and what could be improved.
  • Seek Feedback: If you have friends who are also working on their game, exchange feedback and tips.

Practicing the cold approach not only helps you meet women but also builds your inner game. Although cold approach can often be a low return on investment due to the time and effort it requires, the rewards can be immense. It’s a high-risk, high-reward strategy—because when it works, you might be able to get laid from scratch, which skyrockets your confidence and inner game. Each successful approach boosts your belief in your abilities, while each rejection teaches resilience. Over time, this confidence spills over into warm approaches, making you even more effective in social situations.

Mastering the cold approach during daygame takes guts and perseverance. By understanding the principles of game, projecting confidence, and embracing your cultural identity, you can dominate the dating world. Remember, every approach is a chance to learn and grow, both externally and internally. Now, get out there and make it happen.

Find more of my articles here: https://desiplayboy.substack.com/

For more such insights and to continue the conversation, follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TheDesiPlayboy.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 3h ago

#BrownExcellence Ameerh Naran- Ultra Successful Businessman & Founder Of A Private Jet & Hypercar Company

5 Upvotes

This is Ameerh Naran, a British desi self-made businessman who owns a private jet company and is now working on expanding his hypercar company called Naran Automotive. He is one of the few owners of the ultra rare Koenigsegg Jesko Attack and many other exotic vehicles. I love seeing success come our way, wishing nothing but the same for the rest of our brothers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGeRcOkgpKM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-nw49E3Ry0


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 9h ago

Advice/Ideas/Discussion First Entry of Desi SuperHero Lore

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11 Upvotes

Here is my first bit of lore I added for the Desi Super hero I mentioned in this post

https://www.reddit.com/r/SouthAsianMasculinity/s/ZdgDiawl5H

Scene 1: Just Luck

The door to the captain’s quarters creaked open, and two men stepped inside. The room was dimly lit, the scent of salt and sweat heavy in the air. Captain Wheeler stood at the center of the room, sword in hand, his movements swift and precise as the blade sliced through the air with an almost unnatural grace. Each strike was deliberate, controlled—a testament to his skill. The sound of metal cutting through the air filled the space, the rhythm sharp and commanding.

With one final, flawless strike, Captain Wheeler brought the sword to a perfect, controlled stop, the blade pointing to the floor. He didn’t break his focus, though he was well aware of their presence.

"Report," he said, his voice low but carrying authority.

Tatya stepped forward, his expression calm and neutral. "The men have been working tirelessly, Captain. It’s nothing more than luck, I suppose, but the storage is filling faster than expected."

Captain Wheeler’s gaze didn’t soften. "Luck?" His voice held a note of skepticism. "How long has this ‘luck’ lasted?"

"A few days now," Tatya replied smoothly, his voice steady. "The area we’re in... it’s rich. Bountiful. There’s no reason to doubt the workers. They’re eager. They’re pushing harder than ever. If it’s luck, it’s simply good fortune."

Raja, standing slightly behind Tatya, scoffed, clearly unimpressed. "Luck?" His voice was sharp, tinged with annoyance. "You really think that’s all this is?"

Tatya didn’t flinch. He kept his gaze fixed on Captain Wheeler, his posture unwavering. "Yes, Raja," he replied evenly, his tone diplomatic. "That’s all it is for now. Luck."

Raja’s brow furrowed in frustration, but Tatya remained impassive, offering no further explanation or insight.

Captain Wheeler glanced between the two of them, his expression unreadable. "Enough. We’ll go with this ‘luck’ for the time being. But I want you to keep an eye on things. If anything changes, report it immediately."

Raja nodded stiffly, though the tension in his shoulders remained. "Understood, Captain."

Tatya offered no further words, his face still calm and composed. "Of course, Captain."

Captain Wheeler turned away, his focus returning to his map as the two men exited the quarters. As the door closed behind them, Raja shot a glance at Tatya, clearly still irritated.

Tatya didn’t respond. He simply continued forward, his expression unchanged.



r/SouthAsianMasculinity 1d ago

Generic Post Next Time You Wanna Waste Your Time And Energy Responding To Stupid Comments, Just Remember This

91 Upvotes

r/SouthAsianMasculinity 2d ago

History Ancient Western Propaganda

26 Upvotes

Okay, I'll admit, Punjab getting conquered by outsiders from Central Asia is a fairly common occurrence. And only Greek/non-Indian sources mention a king named Porus. But looking at the internal consistency of the Greek sources themselves makes it clear what actually happened.

Alexander did not defeat Porus. He was forced to compromise. He bribed Porus with control of the Indus kingdom that Alexander was already allied with in exchange for help with raiding other neighboring Punjab kingdoms. His forces mutinied because Porus refused to help them go after the Nanda Empire. There were plenty of rivers left that connected back to the rest of Punjab, so the transport of war spoils would have been easy. They were not too tired to continue, they were too intimidated. All that and the fact that they had just fought the equivalent of the entire Persian Empire in an area the size of Greece. Not to mention the disease, but we don't have to talk about that.

They only agreed to go after smaller prey like the Mallians because the Mallians were in the way downriver to the sea. Getting rid of the Mallians was the only way to ensure the safe shipment of treasure down to the coast.

The common talking point is that Porus ruled a small kingdom in a far-off corner. This is false. He ruled a densely populated, highly defensible, piece of hyper-fertile land that was surrounded by comparatively barren land to the west. And as the last stop before the starting point of Persia (roughly speaking), his kingdom was likely a wealthy trade hub. All the kings of Punjab could easily resupply their armies in warfare, while Alexander could not have. He absolutely would not have won alone and allied with who was likely the wealthiest king in the area.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 4d ago

Advice/Ideas/Discussion Advice on Beards (“Looksmaxxing”)

16 Upvotes

Alright guys, we need to settle this:

For most brown guys, our facial hair grows like wildfire, within 2 days of shaving we turn into hedgehogs. Staying clean shaven is definitely irritating.

And furthermore, I found that a heavy stubble beard works well at drawing out a jawline and framing a face, as well as appearing more rugged and masculine.

But I am concerned that a beard might make us look fobby, which is basically the kiss of death in dating. I see a lot of fobby (or even 2nd-gen) guys who are overweight with unkempt beards, and I definitely don’t want to be lumped in with them.

What should we do?


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 5d ago

Generic Post Tattoos Improve Physical Looks Immensely

22 Upvotes

I'm sick of all this generic looks maxxing advice, going to the gym and having good skin is basic level shit, everybody has heard of it. It's an unspoken rule because of how obvious it is. However, if you want to really improve your SMV get yourself inked out. I personally have a full double sleeve, chest, back and leg tattoos, (no hand tats though in case of job). I can wear corporate attire and hide all my tats. Tattoos are actually kind of promoted in Indian culture, just think of it as Henna but more permanent :)

There is two main reasons guys are scared of tattoos

  1. Their job- If it can be covered with a long sleeve shirt you'll be fine, don't go past the wrist and obviously nothing crazy like neck and face tats. Most corporate employers in the West don't care about tattoos since everybody has them but if they do, worst case scenario you'll always be wearing a long sleeve shirt which you will be doing anyway so it's not really a loss.

  2. The pain- Really? Stop being a 🐱, its a couple hours of sore numbness and now you have art on you that lasts forever. If the pain is really an issue (it shouldn't be) there's also sedative tattoo options available out there. Sleeve tattoos are very painless unless you are a skinny mf.

If cost is an issue, you can always get it done at a reputable place when you go back to the motherland. Now of course, you shouldn't get a tattoo to try and fit in but if you genuinely like them, don't be scared to go ink yourself out. I notice the new generations in the west are quite pro-tattoo and most desi guys and girls I know have tattoos. I personally noticed quite a large difference in my attention from women (and men) after I got my tats. Women love tats, they find them masculine and sexy (Probably not Jewish and Muslim women due to religion) but if you are Hindu, Parsi, Sikh, Jain, Buddhist or Christian it is certainty a net positive with women. I could write about all the benefits I receive from having all my tattoos but then I'd have to mark this post as NSFW ;) Also checkout "Thetattoedindian" on TikTok, he is likely overkill but a good example of women throwing themselves at a tattoed guy.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 8d ago

Lifestyle/Fashion Almost 31 year old 5'9" 🇬🇧🇧🇩- 4 years of lifting but 2 years of training properly

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81 Upvotes

r/SouthAsianMasculinity 7d ago

AutoMod Weekly Free for all discussion March 30, 2025

1 Upvotes

Weekly free for all thread

You can post anything you want here

Rules still apply


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 9d ago

Asking for Advice How Anti-india hatred gets fueled online, explained in 5 slides.

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193 Upvotes

Do they think west will only hate India after this. They will hate whole South aisa. And global south doesn't includes india only.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 9d ago

Culture What's it like in the Deep South?

19 Upvotes

I'm talking Deep South like Alabama or Louisiana, and so on.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 10d ago

#BrownExcellence Damn ig we need more good movies to go global

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44 Upvotes

r/SouthAsianMasculinity 10d ago

Advice/Ideas/Discussion Assassin's Creed drama

22 Upvotes

I’ve been seeing this topic everywhere the past few days, and I was wondering what do you guys think about it? Do you think it’s justified that a lot of East Asian guys are lashing out at Ubisoft?

Well, yes, it doesn’t affect us directly, but I have a feeling that if we ever got a big piece of media that represented us pretty well, it would end up being handled in a similarly backwards way.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 10d ago

Health/Fitness Classic Question: Losing the Brown Man Belly Fat

20 Upvotes

Hey guys, I'm 100% hrs been discussed before. But I'm 240lbs, 5'10. Gym 2-4 times a week, and sports/running. Vegetarian. Struggling with the belly fat. I take creatine (realized that a veg diet doesn't really provide... Any) but otherwise nothing else.

Any recommendations/guidance?


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 10d ago

Culture Actually nuts justification and grasping for reasons, but on par for that sub

28 Upvotes

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABCDesis/comments/1jkhbnh/indianorigin_man_daughter_shot_dead_in_virginia/

Gujarati dad and 24 yr old daughter got murdered by blk guy in cold blood (it was not robbery or some similar motive, he just entered the shop and shot them both).


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 11d ago

Asking for Advice Can't speak loudly, feel like a beta kind of

21 Upvotes

M20 here, and I have a trouble speaking loud for some reason, maybe it had to do with people saying me to speak slowly when in puberty and my voice sounded like that of donkey

But anyways since then I've always spoken quietly and with low volume, alot of times people ask me to repeat or just stare at me trying to comprehend what I just said.

Maybe I speak from my throat and not diaphragm but I have no idea how to differentiate, after talking loudly for a while my throat hurts kind off. Maybe it's because I have anxiety that I speak low? But i don't really know

I also seem a very quiet person in general but yeah... I have monotone expression on my face, I used to be fat but I have started working out now, I am 6ft and gotta say I do kinda looks good now since working out but this issue effects me alot. I can't speak loudly and sometimes I seem lame. And I go blank sometimes when I get a taunt or something and try to ignore the comment, like the other person completely dominating me, or maybe it's just my overthinking. I feel like I am a boring person but tbh I have good friends and also a gf but these are friends I made long ago when I was active and good.. now I feel like a husk and dull sometimes.

I needed some advice on this, would be greatful


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 11d ago

Generic Post Brown King

13 Upvotes

This guys profile is very aesthetic and his drip is on point. Hire a photographer, get some photos done in different outfits and locations and post them, this is how insta game works.

https://www.instagram.com/jaysadiq_/

Not sponsored


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 13d ago

NSFW Attack on an Indian woman Toronto subway.

236 Upvotes

Bystander effect is so obvious..


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 12d ago

Lifestyle/Fashion Building a Summer Wardrobe from Scratch – Need Advice (22M, South Asian, Brown Skin, Muscular Build)

9 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m a 22-year-old South Asian guy (5'7", ~72kg) currently living in Boston. I recently moved to the U.S. and didn’t bring much with me for the warmer months, so I’m looking to build a summer wardrobe from scratch. I’ll be moving to Texas in about two months, so I’m hoping to create a wardrobe that works for both Boston’s transitional weather and Texas heat.

Physique-wise, I’ve been working out on and off for the last few years, so I have a somewhat muscular build — broader shoulders, decent arms, but still working on the rest. My skin tone leans toward the brighter side of brown, and I’d love to wear colors and fits that complement that.

Right now, my style is pretty basic — mostly functional stuff — but I want to level up and look more confident, clean, and put-together this summer. Nothing too flashy, just well-fitted, aesthetic, and easy to mix and match.

Would really appreciate suggestions on:

  • Summer wardrobe essentials for someone starting from zero
  • Color palettes that go well with brown skin
  • Fit/styles that flatter a muscular, average-height (5'7") frame
  • Shoe recs and layering options for variable temps
  • Stores/brands that are budget-friendly but stylish (especially in the U.S.)

If you’ve got visual inspo (IG, lookbooks, etc.), I’m all ears too.

Thanks in advance — trying to glow up this summer ✌🏽


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 13d ago

Generic Post Indian FOB Uncle Takes Over Right Wing Anti-Immigration Party In Australia

78 Upvotes

Ngl this video gets even funnier as you watch more and more of it watching Auspill cope harder. Bro hopped off a plane a couple years ago, hijacks the 4th largest political party in the country which is historically very anti-immigration and known as racist now he even got the leader going to temples and virtue signalling for Indians. All the racists in the country were looking forward to vote for this party as we have a federal election this year, now their only anti-immigration party has this guy. This brings me back to my point which I have mentioned on this sub a few times and a concept that abcvck users just won't understand, representation in all sides of the political spectrum is important. Ro Khanna, Kamala, Vivek, Kash we need them all.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 12d ago

Advice/Ideas/Discussion What's good age appropriate cut for a 30 year old?

2 Upvotes

I feel like most cuts for brown men on social media are targeted towards 20 year olds. I'd feel weird doing something similar.

I have medium to long straight hair and I don't want something too short. I wouldn't mind perms as long as it's age appropriate.

Most brown barbers near me tend to give everyone a buzz. So barber recommendation would be appreciated.

Live in Toronto btw


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 14d ago

AutoMod Weekly Free for all discussion March 23, 2025

0 Upvotes

Weekly free for all thread

You can post anything you want here

Rules still apply


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 15d ago

Advice/Ideas/Discussion What are some fashion tips for straight men?

18 Upvotes

As much as I don't believe there are separate fashion tips for straight men, perception matters to an extent. So what are some fashion tips for straight men?

Specs: 6 feet tall, wears rimless power glasses (contact lens sucks, not a practical option), broad shoulders, lean muscular (which means my physique and muscles won't be visible unless I wear tight fitting clothes), gym 3x a week

My current dressing is formals for 5 days/week office, collared polo t shirt or casual tee or casual shirt with contrasting coloured chinos (light t shirt and dark chinos and vice versa) for going out.

Just some dressing tips, grooming tips and colour combination suggestions would help a lot. Please come with suggestions!


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 16d ago

Culture Some of y’all are gonna get butthurt but this is true, I wish it wasn’t, but it is

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134 Upvotes

r/SouthAsianMasculinity 16d ago

Generic Post That comment section under that BS Aba and Preach video ain't it.

40 Upvotes

As if Indians are the only ones who have clogged a plane's toilet. Foh.


r/SouthAsianMasculinity 17d ago

Health/Fitness I need a looksmaxxing and gym guide, ASAP

4 Upvotes

I've been wanting to get my shit together, and it's finally time to lock in, can y'all help out.