Best of The Onion

r/TheOnion • u/pickle_whop • 8h ago

Palestinian Family Trapped Under Rubble Thrilled To Hear 'Gaza' Trending On Twitter

1.1k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/20_mile • 1h ago

Report: Oh, Fuck Yeah, Egg Yolk Dripping All Over Sandwich

• Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/Enough-Temperature59 • 22h ago

Even the onion referenced the absurdity of this case

152 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 2d ago

Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender

5.1k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Megan Fox Confirms She And New Baby Will Co-Parent Machine Gun Kelly

1.3k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now

609 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 2d ago

Musk Announces All 340 Million Americans Must Strip And Take Turn Pushing The Wheel Of Pain

1.1k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Trump Assures Wall Street He’ll Go Back To Just Fucking Over Poor People Soon

978 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/plenihan • 2d ago

Corporation Proud Of Origins As Small Business That Would Never Survive In Modern Economy

239 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 2d ago

Trump Assures Wall Street He’ll Go Back To Just Fucking Over Poor People Soon

601 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Heaven Enacts Retaliatory Tariffs On U.S.-Bound Miracles

335 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Finance Guy Doing Cocaine In Sad Way This Time

240 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Musk Announces All 340 Million Americans Must Strip And Take Turn Pushing The Wheel Of Pain

199 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Climate Protestors Throw Paint On The Louvre’s 1988 Copy Of ‘Hustler’ Magazine

74 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/nomoreinternetforme • 1d ago

Look At This Chart. What If It Means Something Bad?

15 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 2d ago

Finance Guy Doing Cocaine In Sad Way This Time

126 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 2d ago

Heaven Enacts Retaliatory Tariffs On U.S.-Bound Miracles

81 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

Aaron Rodgers Fuming That NFL Hasn’t Added Expansion Team To Sign Him

71 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 3d ago

Trump Informs Nation They Better Start Liking Those Little Canned Wieners

2.1k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/Calm-Purchase-8044 • 3d ago

Trump Calmly Reminds Nation That Desire The Root Of All Suffering

720 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 2d ago

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Chuck Schumer

41 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 2d ago

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Chuck Schumer

22 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 3d ago

Man Already Having Bad Day Deported To Salvadoran Mega-Prison

1.5k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/SevenFacedStory • 3d ago

Israel Claims Slain Palestinian Rescue Workers Didn’t Properly Identify Selves As Human Beings

535 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • u/dwaxe • 3d ago

CNBC Hosts Sit In Stunned Silence For 19th Consecutive Hour

241 Upvotes