It's especially bad for me because I'm seeing filters everywhere, not just online or in videos or things on my phone, but everywhere, like in real life.
I'm talking about how I'll get on the bus and look over to the woman next to me and she's crying. She's fully sobbing, tears running down her cheeks like this filter here, and her mouth grotesquely stretched downward. And she sees me staring at her and I try to look away but can't. It's such a good filter, so convincing, yet, of course it's not real.
Then there's a man standing up next to me, same thing. His face is unreal. I can see a second face over his face as he talks on his phone, again, tears streaming down doubled-cheeks, mouth like a wretched, awful upside-down grin, and when we lock eyes I can't tell what he's thinking. I only see the filter.
And everyone on the bus is the same! All these horrid faces bawling and wailing in exaggerated sadness, but it doesn't end on the bus. I see it everywhere!
Every day. Every day, the same filtered faces, the same comedic sorrow. So much sadness if there's any at all! I don't know! Everyone I see shifts beneath their filter faces, shifts with emotions too obscured for me to understand. I don't know what people are feeling, what they're thinking, if they're looking at me, or even responding to me. They're all just awful, crying, two-faced monsters! They're all filter.
So, I don't know. I smile. I smile as hard as I can because what else can I do? And I hope they see my smile. I hope they see how hard I'm trying to show my real face to them because they maybe they'll show their real faces to me! I really hope they see my real face because when I look in the mirror, I sure don't.
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u/100_Donuts 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's especially bad for me because I'm seeing filters everywhere, not just online or in videos or things on my phone, but everywhere, like in real life.
I'm talking about how I'll get on the bus and look over to the woman next to me and she's crying. She's fully sobbing, tears running down her cheeks like this filter here, and her mouth grotesquely stretched downward. And she sees me staring at her and I try to look away but can't. It's such a good filter, so convincing, yet, of course it's not real.
Then there's a man standing up next to me, same thing. His face is unreal. I can see a second face over his face as he talks on his phone, again, tears streaming down doubled-cheeks, mouth like a wretched, awful upside-down grin, and when we lock eyes I can't tell what he's thinking. I only see the filter.
And everyone on the bus is the same! All these horrid faces bawling and wailing in exaggerated sadness, but it doesn't end on the bus. I see it everywhere!
Every day. Every day, the same filtered faces, the same comedic sorrow. So much sadness if there's any at all! I don't know! Everyone I see shifts beneath their filter faces, shifts with emotions too obscured for me to understand. I don't know what people are feeling, what they're thinking, if they're looking at me, or even responding to me. They're all just awful, crying, two-faced monsters! They're all filter.
So, I don't know. I smile. I smile as hard as I can because what else can I do? And I hope they see my smile. I hope they see how hard I'm trying to show my real face to them because they maybe they'll show their real faces to me! I really hope they see my real face because when I look in the mirror, I sure don't.