r/WallStreetbetsELITE • u/davidmt1995 • Mar 07 '25

Shitpost Missing uncle Joe here

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You know what strengthens the stock market? Stability and predictability.

40.5k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/nameless_pattern Mar 07 '25

Listen here libs!

My retirement just left me

24

u/e37d93eeb23335dc Mar 07 '25

At least you will have social security… oh, wait… 

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u/Ok_Ganache_789 Mar 08 '25

But you’re gonna be very richer; so rich that the rich people will be rich with envy. And then we’ll end the war in Ukraine, because of the dying mainly, but money somewhat, and I fixed the auto industry with beautiful tariffs because we had a stupid president who killed people in Afghanistan while Governor Trudeau refused to help us take back Panama from the illegals feeding our children fentanyl from the Chinaman who gave us the China virus which I trademarked then turned into a meme coin. Jesus would never have died had I been president.

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u/Amerallis 29d ago

You know, you jest but I'm totally putting "Jesus wouldn't have died if I was president" on my bingo card of possible quotes for this presidency.

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u/Ok_Ganache_789 29d ago

Well, he did imply that he was saved by God in Butler, PA

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u/NoDragonfruit6125 29d ago

Nah we all know it was the devil that saved him. Needs someone to cause chaos that will give more souls for him. You know devil keeping him alive sounds like Ghost Rider deal. I'm now imagining a flaming Trump skeleton driving around in circles in a hell cart (flaming golf cart) trying to find his ball. Meanwhile the devil looks suspiciously like Putin and is just amused watching the buffoon.

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u/Outrageous-Orange007 27d ago

Why would he want to help the US seize Panama Canal when his bosses, the Mexican drug cartels use it to smuggle drugs into the US by putting them on ships going through the canal, up to Canada, then back down to the US.

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u/DexxxyHD 23d ago

God this subreddit is peak cringe. God Bless the Gulf of America.

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u/Rabid-Beaver-33 27d ago

Oh for fucks sake. You know how long I’ve heard we won’t have social security? 30 at least. Every fucking year it’s some new social security nightmare.

Been working so long that I just plan on retiring with my own money or working until I’m dead and social security can suck my formaldehyde embalmed testicles.

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u/e37d93eeb23335dc 27d ago

That’s just selfish thinking. You should think about other people. Statistics show that most Americans do not have sufficient saved to be able to live, when they are no longer physically capable of working, without social security. 

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u/Rabid-Beaver-33 27d ago

Are you being serious? Go preach to someone else. I’ve paid my dues serving Americans.