r/adhdwomen • u/ShaniceyIreland • Feb 22 '25
Celebrating Success This zip tie I’ve been meaning to pick up from underneath my shelves for 5 months, I did it 😂✨
It’s been annoying me for SO LONG, feels like such a big achievement 😂
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u/puffpuffjess Feb 22 '25
there's a piece of rubber on my boyfriend's driveway (since this past october) that's for one of my storage racks and hasn't blown away from the wind or torrential downpours and yet every time i get in his car and see it on the ground i think "i should pick that up" and then i don't 😅
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u/sunshine7462 Feb 22 '25
Lol I wrote an email Ive put off since September last night. I have zero clue why. It took 30 sec. Congrats to us. :)
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u/Full-Scholar3459 ADHD-C Feb 23 '25
I have to text someone back and it’s killing me how I haven’t responded…..but not killing me enough to get me to respond. Its so screwed up.
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u/wrests Feb 24 '25
Same, I was supposed to meet a friend and we just never confirmed and I haven’t messaged her…I’m so ashamed and we only talk once every few months anyway. Trying to decide if it’s worth the embarrassment to reach back out :/
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u/evtbrs Feb 24 '25
If they genuinely care about you my experience is yes it’s always worth it, don’t let embarrassment or shame hold you back from living your life to the fullest and really connecting with people.
explain what happened and underline their importance to you, something like “hey, we never really set a date so I wasn’t sure what was happening and felt embarrassed to reach out (an I’m sorry is optional here) but I would still really love to meet, when would your next availability be?”
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u/sneakystairs Feb 23 '25
Or a phone call we need to make. It's almost like if it's one day over due... no biggie, I can motivate myself to do it. Easy peasy. But if I missed that early window of doing a task then it's brutal. Almost physically painful to do it. There's a dumdum sucker stick in my back seat floor board that my daughter dropper Tuesday. It's bugging me. And like I had multiple opportunities to grab it today. Yet... it's like the sword in the stone!
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u/Rare-Championship352 Feb 24 '25
Thank God it's not just me that does that. Like every time I walk past my fish tank I think that I should feed them because they haven't been fed for - - oh my God, maybe weeks, then remember later that I still need to feed them. My bad
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u/MasterStation9191 Feb 23 '25
I reached out to an old professor in like October about writing me a letter of recommendation for a masters program. I then decided I was not going to start a masters program until a later semester but yet I never emailed the professor to let her know I won’t be needing the letter of rec. I think about this constantly but for some reason never was able to write the email and now it just haunts me because it’s too late now 😅
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u/SparklePrincess33 Feb 22 '25
I'm so sorry for future-you. Someday you'll need that zip tie and you wont be able to find it because it's no longer beneath your shelves.
but also: YAY!
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u/DerbleZerp Feb 23 '25
My Amazon boxes collect until I finally break them down. Soon after it turns out I need a box.
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u/Lady-Noveldragon Feb 24 '25
Of course. Until you have broken them down, either the fates decide you don’t need them, or you already had them when you needed them, thus making it not important enough to be memorable. A box you don’t have is more notable than a box that is right over there, after all.
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u/Gullible-Farmer-3935 Feb 23 '25
This made me seriously lol I hate it when I finally put something away and then can't find it when I need it. 😂
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u/--2021-- The joys of middle age Feb 22 '25
LOL.
AUUUGH. This annoys me so much. It's like I'm frozen or something, or there's this wall or massive mountain to climb over and I don't have the energy. Then one day, I just lean down and pick it up. So simple. But the wall has to not be there to be like that, to just be able to pick it up.
People act like it's in my head, or I'm lazy, or overcomplicating things, but it's not, there is literally like a stuck brake or something that stops me from moving forward.
It's kinda like I've taken the body into the shop and they said they fixed it, but because it gets stuck intermittently then they think I'm making it all up. It's not happening when we do it, yeah, because you're doing it under limited conditions that no one lives by!
And it's not sticking just after they fixed it, but as soon as I leave it gets stuck again. So then I must be hitting the brake wrong. It's like well yeah, you have it in your shop not under supportive conditions and not life conditions that will make it act up, and you have tools and grease to unstick it temporarily. What am I supposed to do live my life in a shop, rarely go more than round the block, have the perfect conditions and tools, and grease on hand all the time. No one can live that way!
Probably not the best analogy but my neighbor is making a lot of noise, I can't think.
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u/saalego Feb 22 '25
Yes. It’s SO difficult to explain to people who don’t experience this. I know it’s so easy to pick it up, but it’s NOT just picking it up anymore, it’s a whole thing of its own. Sometimes I even have it on my mental to-do list as though it even needs to be on any to-do list lol, and even have some sense of how soon I’ll be “ready” to do it. It’s like “give me 5 days and I’ll be ready to pick up the single raisin I dropped on the floor last week.” I think it partially stems from grouping tasks together that don’t necessarily need to be. Like, if I’m picking stuff up from the floor, I might as well just sweep it, and then I might as well mop, but hell, if I’m already in the zone with cleaning, I could probably go ahead and clean my bathroom, and maybe dust a little… and then the mental command to pick something off the floor has snowballed into a command to clean your entire house.
But on a positive note, I want to add that in my experience with this, overcoming executive dysfunction over those minor things is a skill that can be built. For one, learning to avoid the snowball of turning a small task into many large ones helps. But also, when you’re used to not being able to do the thing, it gets even harder because the association with it gets worse every time. Suddenly it’s not a random thing on the floor, but it’s the big bad task that’s been hanging over your head for months, and then it’s a reminder of all of the tasks that have ever hung over your head for no clear reason. But no matter how long it takes to finally “do the thing,” actually doing it will make it seem less impossible. Your brain well get a little better at associating the task with something small and doable that you’ve done before, rather than with the enormous hurdles they usually are.
For me one thing that has been especially helpful at “lowering the wall” is getting in the habit of doing small tasks like that as soon as I see them, which helps my brain stop defaulting to doing everything later. The novelty and the motivation to do it is highest as soon as you notice it and consider it as a task, so I try to seize on that. The downside, admittedly, is that while it gets out of the habit of procrastination, in a way it builds the habit of not being able to do one thing without getting pulled into other tasks. So it’s something that you have to balance - I’m currently working on that balance myself. But I think my executive function needs more work than my ability to stay on one task, so it’s worth it to me. Also, I’d rather get everything done by going the long way than not doing any of it in the first place.
Anyway, I just wanted to add that as an optimistic note, as someone who has had horrible executive dysfunction for most of my life. Retraining your brain by altering the associations you have with certain tasks can reduce a lot of friction! It’s made it where my threshold for how much energy and motivation I need for these tasks is lower. Sure, the stuff still sits on the floor for too long, but I’m not as worried and guilty about it while it does, and I do get around to it much sooner than I would have in the past.
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u/adrnired Feb 23 '25
It’s like the PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) but with myself and I absolutely hate it
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u/scaredbabyy Feb 22 '25
Why do we do this?? I needed a hair tie the other day and I was like “oh I know there is one on the floor in the corner of my living room, ill go grab that.” ive been staring at it for like 3 months thinking “hmm I should pick that up” so I knew exactly where it was
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u/starflite Feb 22 '25
Me, when there has been a paper clip on the floor at work for months, and my coworker asked me if I have any paper clips:
My time has come.
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u/HowWoolattheMoon Feb 22 '25
Woo-hoo!! 🎉🎉🎉
I'm sure I have something similar but I can't think what right now. I'm gonna go look around. You've inspired me! ☺️
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u/StacyOrBeckyOrSusan Feb 22 '25
Amazing! Can we also talk about how aesthetically pleasing those shelves are? Tell us about your plant babies!
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u/whiskeygambler ADHD-C Feb 22 '25
I was thinking the same! Also wanting to know where the gold shelves are from!
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u/Mother_Ingenuity_466 Feb 26 '25
I've read a few comments on this thread and can I say, you guys are awesome humans, like, I would try to have friends if they were like you guys. Dang... 🫶🤌👌top notch people's
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u/sharksinthecarpet Feb 22 '25
Hell yeah! I am now inspired to fix the askew paver block I notice EVERY SINGLE DAY when I arrive home. Will I do it though? I wish I had seen this six hours from now, right before I see the block, I would be more confident…
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u/sojayn Feb 22 '25
I have a whole paver path situation. Some fine day i will be out there for 8 hours, digging them all up and aligning them. Then i will drop with heat stroke and dehydration, and have a perfectly smooth path.
Until then, i play the worlds dumbest game of hopscotch every time i walk to my car. It is an insane way to live
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u/CumulativeHazard Feb 23 '25
Maybe this will be the right time… GIRL YOU GOT THIS!! YOU FIX THAT PAVER!! Take a deep breath, go out and do it, and then go get yourself a treat bc clearly this has been a challenge and every challenge deserves a reward, no matter how small.
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u/sharksinthecarpet Feb 23 '25
Thank you for your support!😭♥️ I did end up fixing it when I got home from work, took me all of two minutes, and I feel sooo satisfied
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u/ivyskeddadle Feb 22 '25
You are my people 😊
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u/Mother_Ingenuity_466 Feb 26 '25
Yes, i feel the same way, I cannot stop reading these comments actually I e been reading them for 2hrss!! Ugh.. I have so many things I need to do, but, but, you guys make me feel.... ookay...ish! 🫶 ❤️
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u/LoveWineNotTheLabel Feb 22 '25
Proud of you. You made me go pick up the pencil under my bedroom chest.
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u/waterbaboon569 Feb 22 '25
This is inspiring me to go pick up the (broken) zip tie that's been on my front walk for literal months.
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u/ancatulai Feb 22 '25
I have a hair tie that my cat was playing with and abandoned in the middle of the bedroom a month ago. I just vacuum and walk around it.
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u/CumulativeHazard Feb 23 '25
UGH the cats lol. My cats seem to like leaving a toy on a particular stair? Like I toss it back out into the living room and within a few days there’s another toy on that same stair. Every time. So now I just leave it. Apparently it’s important to them and I want them to be happy. I also can’t vacuum if they look too happy or comfy bc they hate the noise… so it’s their fault not mine.
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u/egg_sandwich Feb 22 '25
CONGRATULATIONS! Maybe ill pick up the mask in the corner of my room today! Probably not but I am inspired!
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u/Promotion_Small Feb 22 '25
Good job! Now, if you're like me, in about 3 days, you're going to need a zip tie, and the first place you'll look is that spot on the floor!
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u/shayshay8508 Feb 22 '25
Ahhh! I’m so proud of you! 😂
I have a Sprouts plastic bag with a single t shirt in it that’s on the side of my hallway. I keep telling myself I should pick it up and put the tshirt in the laundry basket. It’s been there since Christmas.
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u/Full-Scholar3459 ADHD-C Feb 22 '25
You inspired me to empty out my dryer. Don’t ask how long the clothes have been there.
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u/posting-about-shit Feb 22 '25
istg every time i do something like this, i end up needing the zip tie a few days later and then not knowing where to find it, because i betrayed myself by moving the ever-permanent zip tie from its fated spot under the shelf.
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u/The-Divine-Mz-M Feb 22 '25
Yayyyyyyy! Win! Omg yaasssss! This is my life! My two adult children and I have ta-da! lists for reframing all the 'wtfiwwy' self talk.
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u/sarahchacha Feb 22 '25
This is reminding me of all the random things behind my dresser that I need to pick up 😭 congrats though lol!!
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u/grandslammed Feb 22 '25
👏🏼✨️go little rockstar✨️👏🏼 im cheering you on as i continue to ignore my clean laundry thats been sitting in the basket for ~2weeks 😅
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u/jbroadhead372 Feb 22 '25
💜💜💜 Nothing can stop you! Not this day!!! The world is your burrito!!!! I'm so proud of you! 💜💜💜
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u/tobania Feb 23 '25
there’s been a hair tie on the sidewalk at work for several months… this is my sign to move it
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u/abitweiser34 Feb 23 '25
I am so proud of you. I’ve been walking by a rubber band on my kitchen floor for weeks ugh. And hey! Any chance you can tell me where u got ur shelf from I love it thanks either way!
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u/luckyme1123 AuDHD Feb 22 '25
Oh heck yeah!!! I’m proud of you!! This is no small achievement!!!!!!
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u/jyzzkajoy Feb 22 '25
Omg good for you!!! I see things on my floor all the time but dismiss them (esp my kids’ toys) 😆😭😭😭
Like whyyyy can’t I just pick it up?!!! Whyyy!! Help me. lol
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u/thisbitbytes Feb 23 '25
It’s so bad when you have kids with ADHD and you ask them to pick up their socks or do the dishes and they don’t. So now I have to either live with the dirty socks and dishes or somehow force them to do the chore knowing how hard it is to do simple things like this myself.
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u/AngelleJN Feb 23 '25
I finally brought my laundry basket up from the basement, and put it back in the bathroom, after two or three years (I can’t remember how long it was down there).
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u/heatherb2400 Feb 23 '25
LOL reminds of the big leaf that fell from one of my plants that took me over a month to pick up even though I really wanted to the first 72 times I walked past it
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u/gypsy_ang Feb 23 '25
I"M SO PROUD OF YOU! It's crazy how often you can see something, think about doing it, and just NEVER FUCKING DO IT. Whyyyyyyyy ???? Lol
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u/little-moon-bun Feb 23 '25
You sharing this makes me feel soo not alone in this!! It's crazy how it will annoy us for so long but it never gets dealt with. I recently FINALLY wiped a shiny/wet spot off the ceiling that was bugging me for an eternity.
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u/franabanana123 Feb 23 '25
Two years ago, I took a leather jacket to the tailor. I still haven’t gone to pick it up, even though it’s only five minutes from my house and I’ve written the task in my planner countless times. Now I’m too embarrassed to go ask about my jacket…
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u/smolstuffs ADHD-C Feb 23 '25
Oh nice job, now when you need that zip tie you're not going to be able to find it because it's not where it lives (under the shelves) and you have ZERO idea where you put it.
/s
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u/ShaniceyIreland Feb 23 '25
I ended up chewing on it in a moment of thoughtlessness so it’s useless now 😂
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u/everyoneinside72 Feb 23 '25
Good for you! I once put off something for 13 years. It took me all of 30 seconds to take care of LOL
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u/annewmoon Feb 23 '25
I went to the dentist today!!!!
The downside is that now I have to go again to fix the shit they found… but I did it!!
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u/No-Mathematician250 Feb 23 '25
It’s so hard to do the thing straight away! Well done to get it done. 🥳🥳🥳
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u/iced_milk Feb 23 '25
Sometimes I will notice a hair tie on the ground and will purposely leave it there so that next time I need one I know where to find one lol
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u/FifiLeBean Feb 23 '25
So relatable that I am not sure whether to cry or laugh because I have found my people!
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u/kpcombs92 Feb 23 '25
Yay!!! I know how proud you must feel. (Not even slightly sarcastic, for real it's worth being happy about.)
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u/improvisedname Feb 23 '25
We all have a zip tie to pick up haha mine was the booklet of a CD trapped under my desk.
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u/lipslut Feb 23 '25
Yay! Mine: I came home after being gone all day yesterday and sore as hell and decided i was going to set up the Roku I bought something like 9 months ago. Took 5 minutes, tops.
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u/PassionateProtector Feb 23 '25
Seen. Heard. Picked up the eraser I’ve walked past for at least a month.
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u/Accurate-Extension-1 Feb 23 '25
I finally made myself go out and get my car washed! The sun is an amazing encourager!
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u/tigresaa Feb 24 '25
Huzzah, now thanks to you and our need for body doubling, we can all also pick up our Thing!
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u/HotIndependence365 ADHD || Likely Limbic or Ring of 🔥 Feb 25 '25
That's your house? How you got so many living plants, girl!?
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u/ShaniceyIreland Feb 25 '25
Most are peace Lillie’s who faint when they need watering and the others are fake 😂
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u/Own_Zookeepergame655 Feb 25 '25
🎉🎉🎉🎉
I love how immediately we all see this for the accomplishment it is. I'm sure I'm other spaces people might be like.... What?? But we get it.
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u/Expert-Whole-8619 Feb 26 '25
This motivated me to go pickup the clear plastic wrapper that's been living on the floor magically drifting around the house.
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u/Ennui-Turnip_ Feb 28 '25
This inspired me to pick up the will-i-need-to-dry-clean-that dress that's been crumpled over a chair in my room since December! I know what you're thinking... since December isn't that long 🤣 but I'm telling you, I got to it this soon because of this post!
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u/first_go_round Feb 22 '25
Get it girl! The day is yours!!