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If you live in the United States, your taxes are due in 11 days on April 15th! This is your reminder!

Earlier this year I read a comment here in this sub saying “anything worth doing is worth doing half ass” & whoever commented that thank you! I been having a hard year & my executive function has not been great. I’ve started back working out & have been consistent-ish for about a month. Yesterday I skipped the gym & wanted to today but told myself you have to do SOMETHING. So I did a bare minimum workout & when I did my daily walk I had a long average time but I got it over with so it’s a win in my book

I’ve been applying this to a lot of aspects of my life because typically if something doesn’t go as planned or I can’t make it perfect I just give up all together but lately I just tell my self even the barest amount is better than nothing & give it (whatever it is at the time) my least lol

It’s been a week from hell. Humor me by sharing how you know your dopamine is depleted. I’ll start:

When I find myself avoiding a to-do list with a meaningless deep dive in the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports to answer a random thought that I can’t even remember anymore.

When I back out of my garage before the garage door is all the way up.

When I get infuriated with the sound of a fruit snack bag.

When I have to lay down for two hours and cry because I’m so overwhelmed with life.

By events I mean like... go grocery shopping AND have a get together with friends or family later. Have a doctor appt in the afternoon AND have to go to the store later or have a concert later. Do you do this and not feel like you're on the verge of a mental breakdown? Physically and mentally exhausted?

If so.... HOW???

ETA: Well, by the response, I have to say... You get me... you really get me! 🥲 haha. I posted because I have a (hobby related) errand I need to get done but both Sat&Sun already have events planned and it's stressing me out. Its not like running down the street to the corner store, the errand will take like 3 hours out of my day and I just don't know that I can do it along with the other plans.

Many have stated being medicated helps them. Im genuinely happy that it helps you but it does not help me, haha. I am medicated, I can focus on work or hobby for the better part of 5 hours and be flabbergasted at the time that has passed. It does not help with introvert hangover (which, much like a regular hangover, it lasts longer and is much worse the older I get!)

So I still live with my parents because I can’t afford to live comfortably in my own country. I feel like my life is somewhat structured because I do a lot of things because I’m in my parent’s house. But I can’t help but think I would be on the right side of I could live by my own means.

I don’t want to make everything and every experience of mine as something to do with ADHD, but it gets difficult because things in the past start to make sense once I got officially diagnosed.

As a child (even now as an adult), I have always had difficulty making friends or have any sort of relationship. It just seems so hard for me and all along and I thought maybe it’s just my life to always feel left out.

But I got diagnosed with adhd a few months ago and I started thinking could it be that I had trouble making friends due to me acting differently from “normal” people but I don’t realise since well, I’m not “normal”?

I’m not flexing or tooting my own horn, but I actually think I’m a decent person, and I can be a very good friend. I just have difficulty making or maintaining relationships…

Anyone here have similar experiences?

im bad at editing photos but i thought immediately thought about this when i saw someone else post the original

I got diagnosed with AuDHD last year, immediately got put on medicine, and I think I first just felt relieved after having taken unnecessary antidepressants for almost twenty years and never feeling like it was what I struggled with. Since getting medicated I have started to a unmask so much that I sometimes think I’m getting worse? My sensory and sound is killing me. I’ve lost my appetite (no one should want that).

More than anything I feel increasing sadness that I can’t get fixed. I’m 44 and I feel like I have struggled to repress my inner weirdo my whole life. I’ve had tons of careers and haven’t been able to keep up with any of them, when people climbed up the career ladder I tried to keep my head over water. I’m at uni now but have NO confidence despite doing well. Where was my help, my fucking fidget spinners? As a child I had horrible anger attacks, hated all food and couldn’t stand being hugged. I struggled with reading faces and look everything seriously. No one suspected a thing, and it makes me furious.

As the title states I have started to sell of things. Not just for money but they don’t suit my life anymore. All the money I have spent on dopamine shopping, sugar, coffee. I could cry. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore, clothes is just one thing, but from at least a former fashion lover, it’s important. I used to love all the prints, colours, all the things. Now all man made fabrics basically rub me the wrong way (huh see what I did there?)

I live in denim and crisp cotton shirts, it’s basically everything I can stand. Sport bras make me panic, jewellery feels restrictive. Has this always been me or is something wrong? Everything feels wrong. When I dress up I feel like I’m wearing drag. And I’m mourning my twenties and thirties when I should have allowed myself to be the introverted nerd that I am, instead of drinking, trying to have fun and getting burnt out because it wasn’t for me. I also mourn the the spending money I’ll never get back, the pathetic pension savings that are mine, and still feeling like I don’t belong - but maybe I could have.

I have the best husband and dog, a lovely house, and over all a great life. I just feel like I’m past my prime, and I never got to bloom.

EDIT - You are all amazing, I have a long train journey tomorrow, so I’ll sit and read all the replies properly 😊🥹

Also I never knew I wanted to be MOSS so much!

I’m not happy that so many of you are struggling - but hearing that it’s many of us that are here together is a nice feeling. I know that the ”do you consider ADHD a disability” posts have been up lately, and this is basically my take on it - does society fit around you? Does it feel seamless? Or do you have to adapt, mask, change, exhaust yourself in order for it to work with you? In that case I consider it a disability.

Honestly, maybe Barbie has ADHD.

But, I had a lot of trouble deciding what to do with my life as a teenager. SO MANY JOBS SEEM FASCINATING.

Some jobs I remember researching were Bee-keeper. Optometrist. Model. Dermatologist (pimple-poppinngg). Voice actor. Veterinarian. And even today I come across occupations that leave me in awe. This year I've been interested in the world of Crime Scene Forensics and Detective work.

I'm currently 28F, and ended up teaching ice skating/figure skating for the last 8 years. I love it. Lets me put my energy into children.

My husband (28M) is continuously telling me (28F) that "he feels like we haven't talked in a long time" and/or that "I ignore him" all the time. I feel like we talk often, but clearly the kind of talking we do is not what he wants and I'm afraid I'm not enough and I don't know what to do to become enough. We argue about my actions often and I just constantly feel like a failure of a wife.

An example that JUST happened:

For background context, my husband and I have just moved cities and started new jobs and both of us had ordered some company merchandise that we have been waiting on to arrive. I had ordered some clothes and he had ordered a nice backpack. Today I got my package and I was opening it while sitting on our bed. I had just showed him a new jacket and scrub cap that I had gotten (I'm in the veterinary medical field) when he said "I wonder when my backpack will get here." and picked up his phone to check. I didn't say anything/acknowledge that statement because I was about to open the next article in my package and I was also being kinda silly and I was putting the scrub cap on my dog's head. He then says something to the effect of "That's ok I guess, I didn't really want to talk to you about the backpack anyways." I don't know if it was exactly that, but it was something similar in a sarcastic tone. I then said "I didn't really know that was directed at me, was I supposed to respond to that?" or something of a similar sentiment. Apparently, what I should have done in that moment was apologized immediately for ignoring him, but because I didn't and instead tried to explain my POV and did it with a somewhat difensive tone, this caused an argument that lasted an hour. I say apparently because he told me then, and has told me over and over again in the past, that I never apologize or take responsibility for my actions.

This is NOT the first time this has happened, in fact it happens pretty much daily if not multiple times a day. I have tried to get better at apologizing for ignoring him, but now I have started to get met with the "You don't really mean that." rebuttal to my apologies. I am tired, frustrated, and most of all confused. He knows I'm diagnosed ADHD (diagnosed in 2022 or 2023, my memory is bad) and he himself was diagnosed in 2024, so should he not understand my perspective? I never mean to ignore him, and in that moment my response was 100% truthful - I didn't even catch that statement about the backpack was something I was supposed to respond to, I just thought he was thinking out loud. I heard him and didn't say anything, which is technically ignoring him, but it wasn't because I don't care or wasn't interested in talking with him, I just didn't even know what I was supposed to say to that. Not to mention, I was focused on opening my package.

I just don't understand how to navigate this problem. I thought that getting a diagnosis would help him understand me because then he would maybe understand that there is a neurological reason I sometimes don't hear him/ignore him, but clearly not. Despite this issue, our relationship is otherwise perfect, but I'm afraid this issue is large enough that I will eventually drive him away. This is not the first time we've had this argument, this has been going on for almost 10 years, and every time I just feel like his patience wears thinner and thinner. I love him and I don't want to lose him. I feel like such a failure.

I am like this. I am trying to find something that will let me use my two monitors with my desktop and laptop. Ive bought 3 things that havent worked for one reason or another. I am very fortunate I can keep trying different things and this whole this doesnt work cycle usually doesnt happen.

The only other example was last year, I spent 100 total trying to find an excersise watch that actually counted my friggin steps properly and I never did... But as for returning it just is an extra thig I'd really have to go out of my way to attempt to do, including trying to find some way to repackage whatever. It's sooo annoying. I dunno just wondering if people can relate.

I’m just mad as hell. Honestly, that’s the only way I can describe it. My therapist picked up on my ADHD symptoms quickly. Apparently, it’s obvious. But I spent decades struggling academically, at doctor’s offices, just feeling like crap, and no one noticed. No one cared. Maybe because I’m a girl, because I wasn’t “disruptive”. I don’t know.

But I’m mourning what could’ve been, emotionally, academically, career-wise, if someone had actually helped me. Now I feel like I’m just… missed potential.

And I’m angry at myself too. It feels like my brain betrayed me. I recognize I’m dealing with some internalized ableism, but sometimes I just wish I was different. I want to do/be what society expects of me, but it’s just so hard sometimes. And between this and physical issues (I have endometriosis and an eye disease), I just feel broken?

Hello Women and Folks,

First off, you’re absolutely incredible. Secondly, remember that our existence and life experience is how WE make it. You don’t need to fit into a box to be worthy. You’re already so deserving. Give yourself a break.

LOVE YOURSELF. EMBRACE YOURSELF.

Maybe it is annoying forgetting to do things and having analysis paralysis, but that doesn’t mean you’re less lovable or worthy. We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. BUT WE ARE ALL WORTHY!!

I’m 33 and have been diagnosed since I was 6 years old. Then diagnosed twice after. Life is hard. Being in this money driven society is hard. But we’re special. Literally. Our brains work harder than neurotypical people. And most of us are much more intelligent than they are.

And if you’re having a difficult time, you’re not alone. I’ve had burnout so badly that I wasn’t able to even shower daily. I’ve spent days crying about myself and why I’m not able to get “better”. And I’ve realized… there is no better. I’m already enough. I’m already doing what I need to.

Just be gentle with yourselves. You’re all more than this diagnosis.

How long until I convince myself to do the last 10 and organize everything ???

Literally my mom, my sister, my niece, my nephew, and I all have ADHD as well as me and my mom having autism.

Edit: I’m more so talking about ADHD being a dominant trait (at least for my family)

I was a patient in a non-ADHD vaccine trial when I met the medical director over the study. Very friendly guy and well known in New Orleans as the lead physician on a local news station. We got to talking about all my diagnoses, including ADHD, and how I got it so late in life. He listened as I discussed my frustrations, how it’s impacted me, how it shaped and molded the person I am today, and is a lifelong endeavor of getting to understand myself in this new perspective (how to organize my life in ways that make sense for me) moving forward.

Turns out he’s actually on THE panel of physicians in the US that dictate diagnosis criteria and he’s wanting to make major waves about bringing attention to this topic. He’s developed new ADHD medications and is a big voice in the cause of women receiving late term diagnoses due to the criteria having very limited scope in what all actually encompasses ADHD. He asked me if I’d be interested in interviewing about this topic, and I enthusiastically said yes. That was months ago, so I was shocked when he texted yesterday to schedule for today. I came into the studio, we had a fantastic discussion, and before I went to leave he briefed me on what to expect (how they’d probably snip and clip parts of the interview for production so it wouldn’t be the exact interview). As he said this, the woman that had filmed us indicated that the news station thinks this topic and my story are important to tell. She said as she listened to my story, it struck a cord with her because she had a similar experience going through school/life and it made her interested in pursuing getting tested.

They decided they want to intertwine my story with the work he’s doing to push for change on diagnostic criteria. I’ll be filming more with them sometime soon, and they’ll also be interviewing the head physician of that committee he’s on. Admittedly this was an exciting experience, but what matters most to me is the potential impact it could have on other women who may not realize that this applies to them too. I hope people feel seen, and feel a sense of hope towards getting answers.

Friends,

I’m emotional from the responses and the enthusiasm of the information from my post last night. I read all the comments and I thought about a lot of things revolving the topic. Using this platform to advocate for women across the world means so much to me and I want to be able to adequately represent as many voices as possible.

If any of you would be eager or willing to share topics you would love to see/hear addressed, I will fight for us as much as possible. If you don’t feel comfortable commenting below, please DM me. I spoke about the following topics, but know it’s limited to my experience:

Rejection sensitivity Feeling like I’m “too much” which creates insecurity within me because I knew I “wasn’t like other people” Time Blindness Overstimulation How most women I know received their diagnoses as mothers because they’d finally hit a limit to some degree How most of my peers (white men) were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as children but I didn’t know a single woman diagnosed How building routines is absolutely crucial in addition to proper diagnosis and medication

…..but there’s so much more to cover that’s outside of being a 33 yr old white female. This physician is incredibly eager to give us this microphone and wants to share it with the world. Let’s make some changes y’all 🥹

Some other things to touch on: • I will ABSOLUTELY share the interview here whenever it’s completed. Right now we shot an interview that spanned about 15-20 minutes, but they want to film more. They haven’t updated me on when that’ll be, but I’ll continue to update our group and will let you know the next time we film. • I would love for people have a watch party 🥹 the news station is WWL New Orleans (I believe channel 4 for locals) and the physician’s name is Corey Hebert. I have his permission to share this information/the photos from the set. I’ll post the picture of him and I together at some point because this man deserves his face to be plastered everywhere for the good he does in not only our community, but so many others that are marginalized. • Lastly, and very important, they’re planning on getting the LEAD PHYSICIAN of the diagnostic criteria committee to speak on this interview!!!!! I could cry. Change really feels like it’s going to come.

Husband and I are both ADHD. Cleaning is not a talent either one of us have. Executive dysfunction is an everyday thing. So is the fact that our house has become one giant depression hole. We also both have chronic pain conditions and just moving around day to day is hard enough.

My parents are coming to visit Sunday. I have a LOT of trauma around housekeeping and cleaning and feeling like it’s never good enough.

We are half the frog today. Most of the boxes are broken down, and most of the trash is out. We still need to finish a few trouble spots tomorrow and sweep/mop/vacuum. And clean the cat’s bathroom. We’re shutting the door to our bedroom and leaving it closed. It won’t be done.

But we made a giant dent in the mess today. I’m so fucking proud of us. And I’m in so much pain.

I would tag this post for task initiation woes if that was an option. I’ll just be honest, I am struggling BAD to get anything done. And by “done” I really mean I struggle to start them in the first place. It seems like most of us have figured out some weird ways to get around our ADHD symptoms- What helps you to just get things started when you’re stuck sitting down or doom-scrolling or whatever else?

I’ll add some of mine in case they help anyone else! 1. Keep the momentum going from one thing into the next, for example, get home from work and don’t sit down or take shoes off, just keep moving into the house and straight to the dirty dishes. 2. Invite a friend over in advance and give myself a few days or a week to clean before that day. 3. Do something with my phone where I can’t use it, like install updates.

I’m 40 days alcohol free. I feel a ton ton ton better. My adhd is better. I am still starting vyvanse today to try to help myself through the daily adhd struggles. Anyone having similar time? Thoughts ? Any tips on vyvanse ? Any thoughts on alcohol free?

Non-medical because I'm already. Doing that.

Basically, any kind of tool, program, system, etc that actually was genuinely helpful to you, that you continue to use and continue to find helpful. I've tried a few things, but nothing has really been all that useful other than medication, which.

See above.